Chapter 6
HANNAH, KARA, AND I WALKED INTO JUNIPER’S BALLROOM, AND it was buzzing with boys.
It was our first time attending Junior Night, which was a ruse pulled off by management at the start of the season to have the juniors run around the course after hours and fill in all the divots, holes, and damaged grass.
Afterward, a buffet was set out for a juniors-only dinner and movie night.
It was the first time I had ever walked into Juniper wearing jeans and a regular shirt.
I had decided to wear a black tank top with a boat neck that sat just below my collarbone.
It was the absolute most amount of skin I had ever shown to the golf club boys, and I was both terrified and titillated knowing that they might look at me just a little bit differently than they usually did.
Hannah even put makeup on me and told me to wear my wavy hair down.
“He’s going to like it. He’s only ever seen you in a ponytail,” she insisted.
“Who’s he?” I said, and Hannah rolled her eyes at me.
I had barely seen Rory since the previous summer.
Once the weather turned, our weekends at the course were off.
Our timing was never right, and then life got in the way.
I was nervous. I was more than nervous. I had to take a deep breath, feeling warmth rise to my cheeks as we stepped into the massive room with cherry wood floors, a cathedral ceiling, and twinkly white lights strung around the windows.
“Scar Tissue” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers was playing through the speakers embedded in the walls.
A slideshow was playing on a projector, showing photos taken last summer.
Jacob and Blair with their arms over each other’s shoulders in a huddle, sticking their tongues out for the camera.
Cameron putting on the twelfth green, with Hannah holding the flag in the background.
Caleb on the practice green, with a group of boys clustered behind him.
My breath hitched when I saw a photo of Rory pop up.
He was sitting with his arms behind his head in the games room of the clubhouse, tilted back.
His black golf hat was flipped backward, and his eyes were shut as he laughed.
He was sitting beside Orson, who had doubled over, busting a gut.
The picture faded into one of Kara and Hannah smiling inside a golf cart.
“Oh no. It’s me. Look at that zit.” Kara’s head snapped back, causing her shiny brown bob to shimmy over her shoulders.
Their picture shifted into a solo shot of me from behind.
I was silhouetted and leaning against the bag stand by the driveway, where I would wait for my mom to pick me up, looking down the road with my ponytail flying in the wind.
I puffed out my cheeks and tightened my lips, traumatized.
“Oh wow. I love that photo of you, Ellie!” Hannah knocked me with her hip. Hannah was seventeen, and as the firstborn, it was evident she had stolen all the good traits from my parents, leaving me the leftovers. She was the “put together” sister. I was always “the mess.”
Once I was sure the picture was off the screen, I slowly raised my eyes back up to the group of juniors.
Not so hidden inside the sea of boys, I found Rory standing with Orson and Cameron.
He was wearing a moss-green T-shirt and dark-brown corduroy pants.
I had never seen him in anything other than khakis and a polo.
His smile was downturned, and he was staring at me.
His curls flipped over his ears. He looked taller, too.
He seemed calm and confident as he lifted his left hand from his pocket, keeping his wrist against his hip, and flicked me a small, almost invisible wave.
I smiled and lifted my hand, giving him a tiny two-finger salute.
His soft smile widened, and the moment his dimple revealed itself, he looked away.
I needed to calm down.
The music cut off, and a speaker shrilled sadistically with feedback. “Alright, everyone,” a high voice screeched throughout the ballroom.
I stepped onto my tiptoes to look over the crowd and see the club’s event manager holding the mic.
She told us we would be broken into groups of five and given three holes to clean up, with six teams in total.
The oldest junior on each team would drive the pickup truck.
That statement led to a few rowdy whistles in the crowd, which had Hannah, Kara, and me giggling.
The event manager paused, clearly already annoyed by the room full of teenagers.
She then told us that the driver was solely responsible should anyone from their team experience an untimely death.
This brought on another laugh. I looked over at Rory, standing with Cameron and Orson, and he was looking at me again.
The moment our eyes met, he quickly snapped his head back to the event manager, and I watched his lips press firmly into each other, stopping himself from smiling.
The event manager then pulled out a folded piece of paper and started listing off the groups.
I held my breath. Team after team was called as I waited for my name.
Then it happened.
“Jacob, you’ll be driving. Your team is Orson, Blair, Rory, and Cainey.”
My sister, who was still standing on the other side of me, covertly grabbed my thigh and gave me a little squeeze. I couldn’t prepare myself for the squeak that popped out of my mouth.
“Cainey? Why did she call me Cainey? I write my name on all the sign-ups as Ellie.” I dropped my head into my neck, confused. “That’s weird, right?”
I turned back to Rory. He was standing off to the side, leaning against the back wall, and his eyes were on me again. He shifted his weight, but didn’t look away this time. It was the first time I ever had true, honest-to-God heart palpitations where it felt like a legitimate medical condition.
“Dammit. We’re not together,” Kara exclaimed, pulling my attention away from Rory.
“You’re with Cameron, though. That’ll be fun.” Hannah grabbed a pop can from the drinks table.
“He grabbed my boob the last time I saw him,” Kara said sulkily.
“What?” Hannah laughed.
“Not on purpose. He was reaching for the score sheet. I dropped it just as he went to grab it. I, like, bent into him. My entire boob went into his hand.” Kara grabbed my hand to demonstrate.
“You’ve acted this out for me three times already. Why are we doing this again?” I scowled.
“It doesn’t surprise me that you guys are starting to get all touchy. You’re fifteen.” Hannah smirked at Kara and me as if she knew she was about to blow our minds. “You know, I was fifteen when Blair kissed me.”
She was right. Mind blown.
“What?!” I shrieked. More than a few people looked over at us, including Blair. Hannah smacked me, with a laugh, but I was . . . not laughing. “Are you joking right now?”
I was . . . I was . . . I was . . . jealous.
She shook her head and sipped her drink casually like a goddamn villain. “No, I’m not joking, and I didn’t tell you because it’s not a story. It happened once in the parking lot, no tongue, so random.” She laughed again, and my jaw dropped.
“Ooooo.” Kara’s almond-shaped brown eyes were rapidly darting between us.
“Are you mad? Are you jealous?” Kara appeared thrilled at the thought.
“What are you right now? You’re definitely something.
” She turned to Hannah. “You know Ellie has a massive crush on Rory, right?” Kara blurted out, not at all concerned with the boys that surrounded us, and I wanted to murder her.
“Kara!” I covered my face with my hands, mortified.
“Yes, obviously, I’m aware,” Hannah answered in a hushed tone, trying to temper her laughter.
“Can we stop now, please?!” I begged.
“Alright, everyone.” The event manager raised her hands to try to calm the growing restlessness of the crowd. “It’s still light enough for us to do this, but that sun is on its way out, so no one on the course after dark, and be back here by seven for dinner.”
“Have fun.” Hannah grabbed my hand and looked over my shoulder with a smile. “Bye, Rory.” Her eyes flipped back to me, and she gave my hand one quick squeeze.
I turned around to see Rory standing so close that I could have sworn I heard him thinking. He took a deep breath. I noticed that, for the first time, he was taller than me.
Before I could say anything, Blair flung his arms around us both and slammed all three of our heads together.
“Hey, Rore, what are the chances that we would get our little Cainey all to ourselves tonight? How did we get so lucky? It’s almost like someone rigged the teams.” Blair gave Rory a shake, with his arm wrapped around his neck.
Rory’s cheeks flushed. Blair turned his face toward mine, closer than ever.
Wrong brother. WRONG brOTHER!
“Are you wearing makeup?” Blair’s face scrunched.
“Um, yup.” I breathed, intensely aware of the ketchup chips I’d eaten earlier.
Blair let Rory and me go. “Nice. You look pretty.” He gently brushed my hair over my shoulder, and that right there was the most intimate touch I had ever experienced from the opposite sex. “Let’s do this.” Blair winked and then walked away, leaving me stunned in his wake.
My eyes lifted to meet Rory’s. His smile was gone. His body had tensed. He nodded without looking at me, then turned around and walked out of the ballroom.
Our team had holes ten, eleven, and twelve.
Rory and I hadn’t spoken during the entire cleanup portion of the night.
He kept his distance as he dropped sand from his plastic bucket, staying on the other side of the fairway the entire time.
I had seen him and Blair talking, walking together in the distance.
Rory’s shoulders were down, and his chest looked sunken.
Blair had put his arm around his brother at one point during the conversation, half wrestling, half hugging. It was the only time I saw Rory smile.