Chapter 6 #2
I climbed into the truck’s open box bed and tossed my bucket half-heartedly onto the mound of sand.
We had all been sitting in the back of the truck whenever we needed to move longish distances.
I would take that time to close my eyes, listen to whatever song Jacob had been blasting through his open windows, and feel the wind dance in my hair.
There was one time I opened my eyes, hair whipping around my face, and found Rory watching me.
I leaned my legs over the back of the bed, sitting squarely on the dirt, and waited for everyone to come back. The night was done. I was done.
“What do you want to listen to, Ellie-Bee?” Jacob called from the driver’s seat.
He was eighteen, like Blair, and had always felt like a brother to me.
Jacob had spent his entire life taking care of me, Kara, and Hannah.
We fought like brother and sisters as well, but it was the kind of familial love that moved mountains.
“I don’t know. Something cool.” I pulled on my toes, stretching my sore feet.
“Well, you and I have two very different ideas of what’s cool.” Jacob shuffled through the truck’s ancient CD collection.
“Okay, then your cool. It’s probably the real one anyway.”
Blair saddled up next to Jacob in the passenger seat and quickly grabbed the CD organizer from his hands.
“Wait! I saw something before. I know which one.” Blair flipped through the pages until he found exactly what he was looking for.
He started playing Guns N’ Roses’ iconic power ballad “November Rain.” He looked out devilishly at his younger brother, who was still working along the edge of the twelfth green.
Rory lifted his head and closed his eyes when he heard the song choice.
He collected himself before directing a death glare at Blair.
It was the song that Rory had said reminded him of me. My whole body hollowed out. I burned bright red. It was a song I had now listened to about a hundred thousand times. I had dissected the lyrics over and over, trying to figure out what it was about this song that made him think of me.
Orson jumped into the back of the truck and leaned against the cabin’s frame. After three more minutes of Rory wasting everyone’s time, Jacob shouted, “Time to go, Rore! Let’s move it!”
Rory stalled for one last minute, just looking at his feet. I wondered what he was doing. What was he thinking? I couldn’t take my eyes off him, especially after he stopped moving altogether and looked out at the sky, which was transforming into a lavender hue.
“Rory.” Blair’s calm voice pulled Rory from his trance. Rory’s eyes finally lifted to mine. Between our eyes connecting and the music—not to be dramatic or anything—it’s possible my spirit lifted from my body in that moment. I may have blacked out.
Rory slowly made his way from the green to the back of the truck.
He tossed his bucket in the sand. I noticed that beneath his T-shirt, his arms were freckled and slightly flexed as he pulled himself into the truck.
I was surprised when he sat next to me. Still, he said nothing.
I could feel my pulse in my neck and wondered if he could see it nervously thumping away.
Rory and I looked out at the multicolored sky revealed against the tall Douglas firs.
Some stars had burned through the sunset. I should say something. Anything.
Say literally anything, Ellie.
Neither of us spoke. Blair did instead. He leaned out the truck’s passenger window. “You kids ready?”
“Ready,” Rory answered.
“Cool.” Blair nodded. “Now, Rory, when are you going to tell Cainey you missed her?”
My heart thumped into my stomach. My throat went dry.
I slowly turned my head to Rory, speechless.
Blair ducked back into the truck, and Orson turned his head, looking away from us with a taut smile.
Rory closed his eyes and sighed. He tilted his head back with an embarrassed laugh.
After a couple of seconds of both of us just sitting there in silence, he leaned in to me ever so slightly.
“So . . .” It was the first thing he’d said to me all night.
It was the first thing he’d said to me in weeks.
Hell, in months! Rory’s leg was stiff beside mine.
He pressed his hands into his thighs and wiped.
We were uncomfortably close, and it felt like we were supposed to be touching, but instead we were charging each other with energy.
“So . . .” I answered.
“I missed you.” He whispered it quietly so no one else could hear. “Your turn,” he prodded, not letting anyone in on our private confessions. I was barely breathing as we shared a smile. It was soft. It was small. And it was only for each other.
“I missed you, too.”
He shuffled his body and inched closer to me until his leg was lightly pressing against mine. Neither of us moved. It felt like I had been electrocuted, and the press of his knee was the only thing I could feel or focus on. The rest of my body had numbed.
It was this small moment that changed my life.
It was right then that I gave it all away.
Wind in my hair, “November Rain” blasting, legs touching and knocking into each other, clutching onto the back of the pickup truck as it sped across Juniper’s rolling hills .
. . That was when my heart no longer belonged to me. It belonged to Rory Campbell.