23
Orion
Ishould have stopped him. Let him know that this was getting out of hand.
It was already different from our other encounters.
There was no way he couldn’t tell. I leaked like fucking crazy.
That was why I was being so goddamn loud.
The feel of his wet heat around my bare cock would be my undoing.
Even if Whitney wasn’t bad at it, there was something about getting head from another guy.
About getting it from someone who knew what it felt like, that made a huge ass difference.
The other issue was that he forgot the condom.
It was impossible to keep my ass on the couch as I lifted it, fucking into Sable’s eager, sinful little mouth.
This wasn’t what I had intended at all by coming over here.
Yeah, I’d been upset that he’d refused to come anywhere near me at the club.
I wanted to let him know that it wasn’t all about the sex, but this wasn’t a terrible turn of events.
My only hope was that we could get back to talking after all of this.
I saw this for what it was, distraction.
He was shutting me off again in order to prevent me from getting to know him on a deeper level. His name would be easy enough to figure out. It would be on his mail. I’d broken into his damn apartment, I could find a way to get to his mail.
Fuck.
I’d really done that. I’d never once thought about doing something like that.
Once I had my credit card in my hand, I was jiggling it against the lock—there was no stopping myself.
There was that dumb voice in the back of my head that was telling me that it was all for his protection.
If I could get in that easily, so could anyone.
When the lock gave? I cursed, pushing my way through the front door and entering his empty apartment to wait.
And it was worth the wait.
Yeah, I needed to get Sable to open up. I wanted to get to know him, and the ring in my pocket was a burning reminder I needed to make that very clear.
I wasn’t the person who threw caution to the wind, burning down my entire life for just anyone.
There was something about this tiny dancer that called to me in ways no one else had.
Which was sad. I’d married Whitney for a reason.
I’d protect her with my damn life, but over the years it became very clear that she wasn’t on the same level as what other people felt in romantic relationships. I just didn’t understand what that was.
I wanted to. So many people seemed so deeply consumed with what their partners wanted out of life.
I wasn’t. And maybe that all started when Whitney started in really hard with wanting kids.
I’d always been upfront that having a family wasn’t for me, but I also wanted to see her happy.
So maybe I was a chicken shit that also kept his mouth shut. I didn’t make any sense.
Because as Sable sucked especially hard at my cock, tugging at my balls, another bone-splitting moan fell from my lips, shattering both of us. We’d be so much happier if I were just capable of saying something.
I should have warned him. Should have said something. But we were already too far gone. He had my cock in his mouth for the last fifteen minutes, and I couldn’t stop the rush that plowed through my body.
“Fuck,” the word tumbled from my mouth as I spilled my release onto Sable’s greedy tongue. He didn’t complain. Not one bit, as he sucked my release from me like he was savoring a new favorite treat, licking any remnants from my skin.
I sank into the cushions on the couch, a boneless mess that needed to gather himself before Sable could shove me out the door again. This had gotten so far off track from where I wanted it to be, but that damn mouth? It was impossible to say no to.
That was what was still different. Where he’d shut down so damn quickly the last time, that wasn’t what was happening now.
Sable rested his head on my thigh as I ran my fingers through his soft, dark hair.
There was a huge part of me that wanted to take care of him as well, but if this was truly something different, wouldn’t he make it known if he needed something?
I couldn’t assume anything. When I finally had enough energy to lean forward, I tried to lift him from the floor—he stopped me with a hand to my chest.
“You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. He deserved so many nice things. I wanted to take care of him. Make him feel good, make him feel treasured.
Instead of answering me, Sable pulled me from the couch, pushing my pants the rest of the way down my legs, grabbing my hand, and leading me through two doors in the apartment.
I frowned at the mattress on the floor. It wasn’t my place to judge.
He was just moving into his own place—not everyone got what they needed right away.
I’d been lucky when I’d married Whitney—her parents had bought us a lot.
He entered the space, letting go of my hand, immediately stripping out of his clothes before sitting on the edge of the mattress. I felt a little strange standing there in nothing but my shirt. More so that I was the only person between the two of us who was wearing anything.
I reached over my shoulder, pulling my shirt off before approaching Sable’s small frame. He said nothing as he lay back against his blankets. I crawled onto the bed next to him.
At first, I didn’t know what to do because the only person I’d ever been naked in bed with was my wife. There was a thought I didn’t need at this present moment.This was such a foreign concept. I wanted to not suck, but maybe this was one of those things it was impossible to suck at?
All my worries vanished as Sable rolled into me, lifting his leg over my hip and resting a hand on my chest. We lay there in silence for a while longer before he kissed my chest.
“Can you tell me about them?”
The question took me off guard.
“Tell you about whom?”
He laughed a little as his dainty fingers trailed from one peck to the other before circling a nipple.
A shudder raced its way through my body because it had been a long time since I had cuddled like this.
And fuck did I miss it. There was something so nice about lying there, just holding each other.
The small touches that didn’t need to lead anywhere.
It was an acknowledgment that the other person was there.
Anymore, it felt like I’d become a baby-making machine for Whitney.
“Whoever it is you’re married to. I don’t want to assume anything. Is it a woman? Man?”
I looked at the ceiling. It was only fair—if I wanted him to open up—it meant that I needed to tell him about myself as well.
The entire evening had started by telling him to ignore the fact that I was married, but I understood where his curiosity came from.
What would cause a man to stray? Why was I seeking the company of someone else when I had someone at home?
“Whitney.” Her name fell easily from my lips.
I've become bitter about our relationship over the last couple of years. Maybe it was time I admitted that. As much as I loved her as a friend, I felt like I couldn’t talk to her most days because I was afraid of tipping her over the edge.
There was no way to mention that I didn’t want the same things she did because it would be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
She might do something stupid and hurt herself.
A healthy relationship didn’t look like ours.
And maybe it was a weird time to be making that realization.
Sable stopped moving, his hand flattening against my chest. “A woman, then?”
I huffed. “Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong.
Jayden knew I was bi. He’s been my friend since high school.
Maybe that was why he took me to Faded Sins.
He knew I would like to see the variety in the dancers instead of only women...
” I trailed off because there I was baring my soul.
Maybe not my soul, but it was a lot more than I’d intended to say.
But it was already out in the open, so I might as well roll with it.
Sable didn’t seem to be judging me. He lay there in contemplative silence. How much did I really want to tell him? Maybe everything. He deserved it.
“I met Whitney when we were in high school. God. She was so fucking gorgeous. To say that I was obsessed with her would be an understatement.”
That seemed to get the first reaction out of Sable. I’d put my arm around him and he tensed only a little, but it was enough for me to notice. He was the one who had asked, and if he was going to be uncomfortable with the answers, then he shouldn’t have pushed.
“She was my best friend, next to Jayden. At times, I thought Jayden was jealous. Not because he wanted to be Whitney. As well as I know the guy, he’d only ever dated girls.
I think he wanted her for himself and I’d gotten her first.” I had to stop and think about it because it was the truth.
When Whitney and I had first gotten together, Jayden had been distant at first. There were still times that he seemed like he wanted more with her but couldn’t because I was in the way.
He would be the absolute worst thing for her.
If I thought I was doing something terrible to her, it was nothing compared to the things Jayden was capable of.
“We were young. Like stupid and young. Do I love her? Yeah. It would be a lie to say I don’t.
Whitney will always hold a special place in my heart, but the things you want at eighteen and the things you want at twenty-eight are sometimes completely different things.
” I grew quiet for a moment again because maybe I needed to admit some of this out loud to someone.
It made it all the more real. It didn’t make what I was doing okay, but at least there was a reason behind it.