Chapter 20
CHAPTER
SALLY WHINES.
“Do you need a walk?”
She looks at the front door. It’s hard to tear myself away, but I tell Aletheia I’ll be back shortly, grab a leash, and we walk to Crissy Field.
When we pass the steel workout station set up for runners to do pull- and pushups, complete with a long row of rings to swing from, I drop the leash and give it a go, managing four pushups, one shaky pullup, nine sit-ups, and make it a third of the way through the rings.
I’m sweating by the time I fall onto the grass, muscles quivering.
My dog ventures onto the nearby sandy beach and puts her feet in the water. Waves lap against her fur. I take off my shoes and join her. It’s the closest I get to swimming. The temperature is frigid, and my bones instantly throb, like a bad ice cream headache.
“Penn?”
Kiki charges toward me in white leggings and a blue cropped sweatshirt. It’s impossible to outrun her. She has a personal trainer, lifts weights, jogs four miles every morning or goes to a spin class. The bitter feeling of betrayal returns, along with an intense sense of inadequacy.
Do you go to our school?
Yes.
No, you don’t.
I want to, though.
You can’t. You don’t have the right clothes … and you smell.
“You have a dog!” Kiki exclaims.
“Sally.”
“She’s adorable.”
“She’s old,” I counter.
“Some of us get better with age, right?” Kiki asks with a tentative smile. “You look terrific.”
I don’t believe a word she says. Kiki twists her ponytail, a tell that she’s nervous. Good.
“Um. Want to get a coffee?”
“Can’t. I have things to do.” Aletheia is waiting. Not even bothering to brush off the sand, I tug on my shoes, clip Sally’s leash, and walk away.
“Please, Penn. I don’t understand why you’re ghosting Val and me.”
I whirl to face her. “You both knew!”
Her eyes widen. “What? How do you know that?”
I rest a hand on Sally’s head. Her fur is soft beneath my fingers. “It’s so obvious. Just like everything else was.”
“Don’t you get how hard it was to know about the affair?” Kiki asks. “It was killing us.”
“So, to ease your pain, you took me lingerie shopping for my anniversary? Your solution was to humiliate me more?”
“No! It was a last-ditch effort to show Bruce what he’d be missing.”
I stride off and Kiki jogs to keep up with me. Sally can really move when she senses the need.
“Penn, please. We’ve stopped by, called, emailed, and tried to DM. Val and I don’t know what else to do.”
“How about being honest,” I snap. “You two loved every minute of your dumb friend who’s a prude getting cheated on. Do you still want to shake me for putting you in such an uncomfortable situation?”
Understanding turns Kiki’s eyes into moons. “You went into our LivLoud DMs?”
“You should’ve toggled the disappearing option like the kids do.”
“Penn, that was gallows humor,” Kiki tries to explain. “And yes, sometimes it crossed the line, but haven’t you ever said something offhand that’s a little bitchy, something you’d never say to the actual person?”
“Why would you even want to say something bitchy about me? I was your friend! After Haynes was born, I was there for you twenty-four seven and helped you get through the post-partum. Over the years, I’ve made dinners for your family whenever you came down with a cold or the flu, took your kids anytime you needed a break.
I was always available when you had trouble with new software, or needed me to carpool, even when it was your turn, or sell Girl Scout cookies when you didn’t have time, or rather, make time, to go door to door with the kids. For God’s sake, what more could I do?”
Kiki’s face is bright red. “You did everything right, okay? But sometimes it’s hard to be around someone who always has everything under control, is so organized, smart, and the consummate wife, mother, and hostess. Never a wrong word or step.”
I scoff. “Yeah, right.”
“Some of us struggle—”
“Says the woman with a rich husband, a nanny when the kids were young, and a caterer on speed dial.” I fight the urge to shove her hard enough that she lands on her ass and dirties her Lululemon leggings.
“I’ve spent over a decade listening to you whine about how hard it is to pack for exotic vacations, what car to buy, whether to get laser, and the challenge of having a husband who can’t keep his hands off you. ”
“Not everything is what it looks like,” Kiki says, her face now pale. “For what it’s worth, I wish we’d made other choices.”
Val and Kiki said all the right things to my face. But it’s what they did behind my back that counts.
“Penn, we do care about you. I’m sorry.”
My heart tugs hard, but I still walk away.