Chapter 8
8
I woke up around six the next morning with a painfully full bladder from all the water I drank when I got home. Moving slowly so as not to wake Remi up, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom without turning any lights on. I peed for what felt like an eternity, brushed my teeth so I would feel fresh when I woke up again, and then came back to bed. When I laid my head down on the pillow, I felt Remi move closer to me, curling up around me.
“Why are you awake, pretty girl?” His voice was groggy with sleep, so I whispered,
“I had to pee so bad.”
He laughed quietly at that.
“Your liver finally processed all that alcohol,” he murmured against my hair. His hand came up along my ribs, and his fingers found their way under my thin tank top. He soon realized that I was not wearing a bra. I giggled as I heard the sharp intake of his breath.
“Oh, I like this.” His fingers were rubbing the underside of my breast and then moved up to rub my nipple.
“If you’ve never done anything like this before, how are you so good at it?” I moaned as his mouth closed over the nipple that his fingers weren’t playing with. He paused and looked up at me, his mouth sliding off my breast with a soft “pop.”
“Well, I have done some stuff,” he admitted. “I just never came with them or even by myself before you. And I’ve also grown up around Liam.” We both laughed at that statement because before dating Lia, Liam would literally fuck a girl while you were in the same room with him. He literally didn’t care and was super comfortable with the topic of sex.
“I’ve also watched a lot of porn, and before you tell me how not real it all is, trust me, I know, but it was still fully educational.” He laughed.
“Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes I watch porn too, fully for the educational side of things,” I joked, trying to sound serious, but he burst out laughing.
“We should watch something together sometime and then reenact it,” I suggested. His eyebrows shot up at that.
“I’m so down to do that.”
I could feel how down he was by the way his cock had lengthened up against me. I leaned up to catch his mouth in mine, and we spent the next few minutes kissing. First slow, then more desperate, then back to slow. Remi found the bottom of my tank top and waited for me to nod before pulling it up and off of me.
“You are just…” He palmed my breast, which, although I wore a full C or sometimes a D cup, looked tiny in his huge hand. He let out a low groan. “I can’t wait to learn everything that you love.” He was so earnest about it that it made me that much more turned on as he lowered his head and began kissing his way down my rib cage and then whispered kisses across my belly button. Physically, I really wanted his mouth there so badly, but emotionally, I didn’t feel ready.
“I’m not ready for that yet, Remi,” I whispered as he kissed his way over my hips. He sat up quickly as he nodded.
“I wasn’t going to, but I also understand.”
We sat quietly for a second, with me worrying that I had completely ruined the moment when he asked, “Is it okay if I touch you? With my fingers…?”
I nodded quickly, and he grinned at my obvious enthusiasm. I was feeling so needy and wet already, but when he pressed his body onto mine and began to kiss me, I quickly pulled my underwear down and kicked it off my leg onto the floor somewhere. Remi took that as an invitation to run his hand down my pubic bone and faltered when he felt that I was bare.
“Baby…?”
“Lia and I get Brazilian waxes,” I explained.
“I mean, I could have done without knowing that about Lia, but I like this.” His words were coming out in pants now, and his fingers seemed to be hovering over me but not quite touching me. I gyrated my hips greedily, but he still didn’t move.
“Remi?” He bit his lower lip and squeezed my leg gently.
“I’m gonna need a really quick anatomy lesson ‘cause I know where it all is theoretically, but not on you if that makes sense, and I just really don’t wanna fuck this up.”
He was so cute that I laughed.
“That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” I told him, grinning, as I reached down and took his hand. I moved it down and heard him take a deep breath in. I took one of his fingers and rubbed it over my clit as fireworks seemed to go off in my pelvic area. “This is my…”
“Clit. Yes, I can feel that.” He smiled, but he looked intense as he watched me lead his hand around my body. I moved him lower and let go. He rubbed my lips and muttered, almost to himself, “Labia.”
That made me laugh again, but it was cut off by a moan when his finger found my entrance, and he ran it around all of the wetness that had gathered there.
“You are soaked.” He stated the obvious, and I panted as he tentatively worked the tip of his finger into me. “You’re so tight,” he moaned.
“You’re so good at this anatomy class,” I joked as he got his finger all wet with me and then moved it up to my clit. He rubbed it over me right where I was feeling very sensitive and swollen.
“Oh my Godddd,” I ground out as his finger began to move faster, and I grew even wetter. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.
“You are so beautiful.” He bent down to kiss me as his finger continued to move. He alternated between fast up and down movements and slower circular movements. Every now and then, he would move down to gather more of my wetness and work it up to my clit. I was almost there; my legs were feeling so tense, and the sounds coming out of me were getting louder and more desperate.
“Oh my God, I want to come, I just…” I moaned, feeling frustrated with why it was taking me so long. Remi suddenly laid down on his side, his elbow and shoulder holding him up as he continued to rub my clit, his finger making wet slurping noises because, at this point, I was completely soaked and then some. His mouth came close to my ear, and in his gruff, deep voice, he said, “Look how good you’re taking it, baby. Be a good girl and come for me.”
That was all it took for me to absolutely explode. I swear I saw lights behind my eyelids, and my body felt like it was levitating off the bed for a second. My pussy was pulsing, and my abs were strung so tight as I rode out the waves of this epic orgasm.
“Remi, oh my God. Oh my God. Remi…” I chanted, and he kept whispering in my ear what a good girl I was, how wet I felt on his finger, and how hard I had made him. When I finally came down, I was breathing so heavily and felt so wrung out in the best way possible. I watched him, both intrigued and horrified, as Remi took his fingers that were now shining with my wetness and stuck them in his mouth.
“Oooh, fuck,” he moaned around his fingers. “You taste so good.” And before I had a chance to say no, he kissed me. He was desperate, a little sloppy, and a whole lot horny. I tasted a tang in his mouth that had to be from me, and I shivered at the idea of it.
“I love that you need praise. It makes me so hard, it’s insane,” he said against my mouth.
“I honestly had no idea,” I admitted. “I’m a little confused by it.”
“I’m super turned on by it.” He laughed as his hand was now moving against the side of my body, and I saw that he had reached down and was jerking himself off. I watched, alarmed at how tight he was holding it and intrigued by how rough he seemed to be with himself.
“Can I come on you?” He was breathing heavily now, his hand moving so quickly. I nodded, feeling a little freaked out at his intensity but mainly super turned on as I continued to watch. He got up on his knees and continued jerking his hand quickly up and down his shaft. His movements became a little more erratic until I watched him bend over slightly as the power of his orgasm overtook him. His face was, again, squeezed tight in what looked like pain, but I knew was actually from pleasure. His chest was heaving and sweaty, and his moans were so hot as cum shot out of his penis and coated mainly my stomach, but a little got on my right breast. When he was done, he stared at me, covered in his cum, and seemed not to know what to say.
Remi continued to look a little shaky when he got up to get a small hand towel from the bathroom that he had wet with warm water. He was quiet while he gently wiped all of himself off of me. Then he retrieved my underwear, pulled it up my legs, and helped me put my tank top back on. As he laid back down next to me, he gathered me up in his arms and whispered, “Go back to sleep, beautiful. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
We didn’t talk about it, but to be honest, we really didn’t need to.
“We’re moving too fast,” I announced. Remi opened one eye as I abruptly woke him up with my anxiety.
“Hmm?” He yawned and closed his eye, scratching his chest. “What time is it?”
“We’ve been friends for almost a year, and suddenly, we’re going out and sleeping in the same bed for two nights in a row! I don’t know enough about you! You could be a serial killer for all I know!”
“A serial killer?” He scoffed. “I mean, sure, I guess between school, church, and football, I could have fit that in.” Both eyes were open now, and he looked adorably disheveled and confused. I pulled the blanket tighter around my body as his eyes made their way down and seemed to get stuck staring at my boobs.
“It’s not funny. I let you touch my…”
“I know. I was there.” He seemed to think this conversation was pretty entertaining.
“No, I’m being serious, Remi, this is too much. I have a plan, and the plan must be followed. We’re what, twenty-eight days from graduating? I cannot mess this up. I don’t know how we went from hanging in the same friend group one day to telling each other our secrets and swapping saliva the next day.”
I felt bad when he genuinely looked offended.
“I mean, swapping saliva is kind of a gross description for what we did, Shaen.”
“Ugh. I know, and I’m sorry. I’m just freaking the fuck out right now, and I’m not exactly amazing at sharing my feelings with others.” I buried my face in my hands and tried to take some deep breaths. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but since we went back to sleep earlier this morning, I had tossed and turned and panicked, and now I had to let it out, or it would ruin my whole day. I felt his hand come up and rub my back for a second before he said,
“I would never ruin your plan, Shaen. I promise. I just like you, and I want to get to know you better. But if you need to, we will stop and go back to just being friends, or we can go super slow and get to know each other without swapping saliva, or we can keep going as is and see where it takes us and make changes as you need. I swear I’m not asking for anything else from you.” His voice was still husky from sleep, and I did love hearing him say my name. I let his words wash over me, and I weighed out what he was offering in my mind.
“I mean, it is nice having someone tall around,” I acquiesced, referencing when he helped me get the vanilla extract.
“I’m happy to be your tall someone.” He smiled.
“And it’s kinda cool not being alone at home all the time,” I added.
“I like that for you too.” He was watching me, almost studying me, and I knew that my sudden mood swings were probably confusing for him. Honestly, they were confusing for me too.
“I think I would like to see where this goes… slowly, with no saliva swapping for a bit, if that’s okay with you? I know that might be awkward, but it’s confusing for me…” I was feeling less panicked hearing that he wasn’t going to mess with the plan; maybe he could even enhance the plan.
He moved away from me just slightly and took his hand off my back.
“I will go as slow as you need.”
I let out a deep breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and gave him a big smile.
“You sure? I feel bad. It just feels like we skipped some important steps. I know you as Liam’s cousin, I know you’re a nice guy, I know you’re a good football player and all the basic stuff, but I don’t know other things, like do you have a middle name, what are your plans for after we graduate, what do you do for fun, and what is your favorite food? I’m just thinking maybe we could just hold hands at lunch without also touching each other’s private parts.”
At that, Remi burst out laughing.
“For someone who reads a lot of smut, you seem to have a very limited vocabulary for describing my dick.”
I ducked my head, feeling embarrassed, but I also started snickering at myself.
“My middle name is nothing because my dad thought Remiel was the perfect name for his perfect baby who would one day take over pastoring at his perfect church. As far as what I’m doing after we graduate, well, up until last week, I was registered to start at a pastoral Christian college in the fall, but as you know”— he rolled his eyes— “I called and withdrew so that is still up in the air, but I promise I will tell you as soon as I figure it out. Um, let’s see, for fun, I play football, I play a crazy game of Fortnite, I enjoy learning about cars, and I love to eat.”
“Eating is not for fun,” I interrupted.
“If it’s not fun, you’re doing it wrong, babe.” He laughed. “Speaking of food, my favorite food is lasagna, and my favorite dessert is pie. Really any pie but a pie with a cream filling— booooy, the things I would do for that pie…”
I giggled, honestly thrilled to be learning more about him. They were such silly little details, but they somehow made me feel more comfortable going down this unknown road that could possibly shake up my plan.
“As much as I am loving this little pow-wow”— Remi winked at me— “I need a quick bathroom break.”
While he was out of the room, I quickly pulled on a pair of faded lululemon leggings that I had found at Goodwill and a black oversized shirt that said, “Today is a good day to leave me alone.” I washed my face in the kitchen sink yet again and put on a fresh “no-makeup” makeup look. Pulling my long hair into two braids, I sat back down on the bed and made a quick grocery order. Remi’s phone was buzzing off the hook. I glanced over to see who was so insistent on reaching him, and I saw that the caller ID said “MOM.” I wondered what that was about and if his relationship with his mom was as tumultuous as it was with his dad.
I was scrolling through social media when Remi finally came back into the room, freshly showered and fully dressed in what looked to be gym clothes.
“Sorry that I took so long,” he said, putting his laundry into his overnight bag. “I decided to shower too.”
“Totes fine.”
“Totes?” He laughed.
“Yup.” I grinned. “Soooo, I have a grocery order coming. I figured I could cook us lunch?”
“Sounds perfect to me.” He was looking at my braids but didn’t say anything about them. I worried I may have pushed him away too hard, but I was also looking forward to seeing how this would progress more organically.
“Also, your mom has been calling nonstop.”
He groaned. “That’s awesome.” He picked up his phone. I went back to my own phone to catch up on the girls’ group chat.
LIA
What are you bitches wearing to graduation?
DEE
clothes prob
RACHEL
Dunno - wanna shop???
LIA
hell ya
RACHEL
I’ll pick you up at 2
LIA
thanks bestie
Then I switched to the entire friend group chat.
LIAM
did anyone catch the bio hw?
CARTER
hitting the gym anyone joining?
RACHEL
Do you mean you need a ride?
CARTER
I need a ride
RACHEL
*laughing face emoji*
CARTER
*middle finger emoji*
LIAM
I’ll pick u up in 10 with my moms car cuz Remi has my jeep
CARTER
sweet
EVA
I need the bio homework. Anyone have it?
LIA
Rachel and I are going to the mall at 2 if anyone wants to come
DEE
why are Shaen and Remi so quiet?
LIAM
cuz they’re fucking
REMI
we are not fucking
LIAM
stop texting while ur fucking it’s rude dick head
LIA
says you
RACHEL
Are you guys being safe?
REMI
guys. We.are.not.fucking
Remi left the room with his phone, so I turned on some meditation music and sat by the window in my room to catch some sun rays. He had said he wasn’t going to get in the way of my plan, so I decided that I was going to stick to my Saturday morning routine. I sat cross-legged and did some deep breathing. I had learned about the power of mediation in my quest to heal my panic attacks. I loved this part of my weekend because it quieted all of the chaos in my mind and allowed me to just be in the moment with no to-do lists, no absent mothers, no sweet, horny, hot, tall football players, and no worries about the future— just a pocket of peace and quiet. After twenty minutes of stillness and gentle introspection, I took some more breaths and opened my eyes, blinking at the sudden intrusion of light. Remi was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me. I smiled.
“Sorry,” I told him.
“Don’t be sorry.” He was smiling gently at me. I got up and shut off the meditation music.
“So, I’m gonna hit the gym with the boys, but I’ll be back. If that’s cool?” he said, stretching.
I wasn’t sure if he was asking if it was cool if he left to go to the gym or if it was okay if he came back after. But I did not ask for clarification. All I said back was, “Sure. Have fun.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but he just grabbed his Beats headphones from his bag along with a protein bar. As he left, I got a notification that the grocery delivery service had dropped off my groceries. So I got started on making lasagna and lemon meringue pie.