Chapter 12
12
I woke up to Remi’s fingers in my underwear and his mouth on my nipple.
“Oh-oh my Godddd,” I whispered frantically, grabbing at the blanket around me. “My mom,” I hissed, trying to push Remi’s mouth off me.
“She left for work,” he mumbled around my nipple.
“Huh. What time is it?” I fumbled around, trying to feel for my phone.
“It’s 8 a.m., but remember, we only go in for one test today, so we don’t have to be there till twelve,” Remi reminded me. “So we have lots of time for activities.” He grinned up at me as he sat himself up next to me, leaning on his elbow.
“What kind of activities?” I smirked as he began to pull my shorts and underwear off.
“The naked kind, of course.”
“I hear that’s the best kind.” I tried to be funny, but then I moaned as he stuck a finger inside of me. He had never done that before.
“Holy fuck, you’re tight,” he groaned. I loved how verbal he was. Rachel had told me that one time she was having sex with a guy, and he had been so silent the whole time that it had freaked her out.
“Is this okay, Shaen?”
I nodded.
“Y-yes. It’s okay,” I mewled as he twisted his finger and found a spot in me that sent shocks throughout my body. He snickered as I gasped.
“What… what are you doing?” I panted, curling my toes into the bed.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess it might be your G-spot.” Remi was looking very proud of himself. He was such a conundrum because, on the one hand, he was almost as inexperienced as I was, but on the other, he was so natural at dirty talk and seemed to know exactly what to do with his hands and mouth.
“Oh my God.” My hips started to lift up off the bed to match the ministrations of his finger.
“I can feel you squeezing me.” He sounded awed. I could see him imagining what that would feel like around his cock. To be honest, the fonder I grew of him, the less my resolve not to have sex became. He took his other hand and rubbed my wetness up to and around my clit.
“Holy shit.” I went wild for that. My whole body was on high alert, and every nerve ending was waiting for the waves of pleasure to crash over me. His finger started to move faster in and out of me, and I could hear the squelch of his movements, showing how wet I was.
“That’s sooo hot, Shaen,” he growled as I made an embarrassed face.
“Do you like knowing how hard you make me?”
I nodded frantically.
“Well, that’s how much I like knowing how wet I make you. I mean, I did this to you, right? You’re wet for me?”
“I’m so wet for you,” I sobbed as his thumb on my clit and his finger in my pussy took me over the edge. I soared with this orgasm; feeling full while I came was not something I had ever experienced before, and I really liked it. According to the shaking in my legs, I liked it a lot. I opened my eyes to see him pull his fingers out and suck me off of them. He maintained eye contact while he did it, and I shivered. I wanted to do something new for him too. Every time he made me come, he had tried something different, and each time was a new experience for me. I wanted the same thing for him. I obviously had no idea what I was doing, and I was feeling really shy, but seeing his erection tenting his shorts made me want to be brave. My tank top and bra were pushed up around my neck, so I reached up to pull them off. Then I laid back down and said, “Come here,” as I encouraged him to straddle me. He looked confused. I pushed my breasts together.
“Fuck me here,” I told him. I watched as his eyes dilated and his jaw went slack.
“Are you serious?” He was so adorably horny yet also still so respectful. I nodded. He bent down, fully straddling me. I felt his balls brush against my rib cage as he placed his big, hard cock in between my breasts. I squeezed them tighter to create a tight valley. He moved slowly at first, groaning. I watched the angry red head disappearing and then reappearing as he moved. Then he began to pick up the pace, as he genuinely began to fuck this space I had made for him. He was shaking my body and my bed with the movement. I felt so much emotion well up inside me as he moaned and moved above me. Partially because watching him abandon the stupid things his father and the church had drilled into him was beautiful. I knew how much I liked hearing him talk to me, so I began to encourage him verbally as well.
“Yes, baby. Like that. That’s so good. Fuck me.”
Oh, he really liked that. I could tell by how much his cock was swelling up against my skin and the way his hips stuttered.
“I’m gonna come.”
“Give it to me.” I squeezed my breasts tighter, and he fucked his way to completion. He spurted all over my neck and chest, and some even got on my chin. He was out of breath as he clambered off of me and sat back, his dick softening between his legs. Remi looked down at me, reaching over to rub the cum off of my chin.
“I’m gonna need you to stay with me forever.”
“’Cause I let you fuck my boobs?” I giggled.
“I mean, yes.” He laughed at himself. “But also because I feel whole when I’m with you. I cannot explain it. I know it sounds nuts, but I feel like whatever was missing for me before, I have found it with you.”
“Babyyy,” I hummed, happiness thrumming through my veins. He reached over for his phone.
“Okay… so not to ruin the moment or anything, but can I take a picture of you before my cum dries?” The grin on his face reminded me that he was still a teenage boy.
“Remiel!” I was horrified and also turned on by his question.
“It’s obviously just for me, baby. I swear no one will ever see it,” he promised. He watched me with his dark eyes, some hair falling across his forehead, and I watched him back, weighing my options in my head. I knew I could say no. I knew if I said no, he would respect it. But did I want to say no? I took a deep breath in, then replied, “I feel crazy saying this, but okay.”
His eyes lit up. “Oh my God.” He swiped into his camera app, and I hoped I looked sexy as he took a few shots.
“Can I see?” I sat up, pulling the sheet up over me.
“Are you going to make me delete it?” he asked, holding the phone turned away from me.
“I hope not.”
He turned his phone around. There I lay, my dirty-blonde hair spread out behind me, my baby hairs curling up around my temple from the sweat drying in it. My lips were red and puffy from making out, and they were turned up in a tiny smirk. My cheeks were flushed, and my eyes looked incredibly green. My chest had some red rub marks on it, and I was covered in him. My nipples were rosy and beaded. I looked hot. I looked like I had just come. I looked happy. I looked like I was in love. I startled at that last thought. Oh no. Where had that come from?
“I love it,” he murmured, staring at the screen.
“I…” love you , my brain blurted. I squelched the thought again. “Just save it somewhere safe,” I finished awkwardly. “I don’t want Liam accidentally coming across it.” ?There was no way those feelings were real, I thought to myself, feeling panicked all of a sudden. This was obviously misplaced trauma. I was trauma bonding with him because my father never loved me. That’s what this was. He was nice and kind and good to me, but this was not love. Not yet. That was just impossible.
“I can almost hear you freaking out.” Remi had gotten a wet washcloth from the bathroom and proceeded to clean me up with it before he pulled the covers over us again and pulled me into his arms. “What’s got you so hot and bothered other than me, of course?” He winked. I considered lying and pushing my feelings down. I thought about playing it off like it wasn’t a big deal. I almost said, “I’m fine.” But I was honestly getting so sick of faking it. It had only been five days, and my mind was insanely aware of how crazy this was. We went from inexperienced virgins, one with abandoned daddy issues and the other with Jesus daddy issues who had never hung out one-on-one, to bonding way too fast and coming all over each other multiple times. But it just felt so easy, and I could not deny that. It felt deep, like my soul knew his soul or some cosmic shit like that. I felt safe, cared for, and seen. So seen. Like Remi had said last night, life was so short; why should I spend it faking anything? I wanted to see where my chips would fall, so to speak. I took a deep breath before saying, “I really, really like you.” My voice sounded more strained than I even felt. Remi lifted himself up on one arm.
“And that’s bad because?”
“Well, it’s fast,” I started. He looked disappointed, almost like he was thinking, not this conversation again. But I continued, “Yet somehow, I feel ready to be all in. I feel like I am jumping into the deep end of the pool with you, but I’m also okay with it. I cannot explain what it is, but it’s like I can feel how much you care about me. And it feels like you really do listen when I talk, and I want to hear everything you have to say. I know I’m safe when you’re around. It makes me not want to think about it being only five days. It makes me want to think of you as a permanent thing for me. And I’ll be honest, I’m scared I’ll get hurt or that I’ll annoy you and you’ll regret this, but I’m willing to risk it because this thing feels right. I know we’re young, but hey, my mom had me at fifteen so I’m already old compared to her standards,” I joked to lighten up the heaviness of what I was saying, but my shoulders felt light despite the immense depth of my admission, and I was so proud of myself for verbalizing my real feelings.
“It hasn’t been five days for me.” His confession startled me.
“Hmm?” I remembered what Liam had told me, and I had a feeling that was what he was about to share, but I wanted to hear Remi tell his version of the story.
“It’s been a year for me, so my current feelings for you feel right on time. Or even overdue. I saw you at Julia’s opening party, and I couldn’t stop asking Liam about you. I even found you on social media. For me, Thursday was not the start. For me, Thursday was the culmination of a very long year of pining after you.”
“Pining?” I giggled. “Oh, Mr. Darcy, you flatter me.” I pretended to simper and bat my lashes like I imagined they did in Jane Austen’s time.
“It’s a big word for a jock.” He rolled his eyes. That made me laugh harder. He pretended to sulk.
“You’re not just a jock,” I told him when I finally calmed down. “And that’s sweet. Thank you for telling me that I am falling for my stalker.”
“Shaen!” he protested. I cracked up again. “I didn’t stalk you.”
“Maybe just a little?” I teased. “I’m okay with it. It’s kinda hot, and it explains my Stockholm syndrome.”
“Oh my God.” He pushed the blanket back and moved to get out of the bed. I pulled him back to me.
“Noooo, don’t leave.”
“Stop being mean.” He pouted.
“Fine…” I purred. “Come kiss me.”
He complied, and we made out until his phone rang. It was Julia calling to discuss the plans for Wednesday. While he talked to her, I got ready for school and made us both breakfast. As I finished pouring his protein shake into a cup with a straw, he came up behind me and put his arms around my shoulders, kissing the side of my neck.
“I like playing house with you, Shaen Collins.”
“I like playing house with you too, Remiel Taylor,” I told him back. We stood there for a moment, just existing in our own bubble. No finals, no need for after graduation plans, no anxiety, no funerals to attend. Just us and our bliss, and it was perfect. Even if it was just for the moment.