CHAPTER 13 #2
Even though Tessa had made an effort to ignore all things football, and she did a pretty exceptional job over the years, she was still aware that Jordan had been drafted to the Eagles, but she didn’t know much beyond that.
“Damn Tess, did you just erase us from your whole memory when you left?”
She can’t ignore the iciness in his tone, and he doesn’t make eye contact with him when he says it. She can tell his whole demeanor has shifted, and she suddenly feels uncomfortable with his mood change.
“Of course not,” she whispered. “I never forgot any of you. I’ve thought about you every day of my life, Tristan. It was just easier to not keep up with what you guys were doing. It would have been too painful if I kept tabs on you.”
“Do you even know that him and I played each other in the Super Bowl?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the last Super Bowl was Eagles and Titans. Me and my big brother, we both played in the Super Bowl at the same time.”
She smiles at him, tears sparkling in her eyes.
“That’s incredible,” she whispers.
“It was. Too bad you wrote me off and walked away like I was nothing.”
“Tristan, don’t do this here,” she said, very aware of the fact that she couldn’t run like she usually does.
“No Tess, I want to do this here. Right now. Tell me why.”
She sucks in a breath and feels her skin prickling with nerves.
She figured all of this would spill out between them eventually, but she didn’t think it would happen so soon or so aggressively.
Over the years she imagined millions of times what he felt toward her – did he hate her?
Regret loving her? Did he carry on like she wasn’t a big deal to him at all?
She had thought about these things over and over, and she was finally being faced with it and quite literally trapped with the reality that he was, in fact, angry.
“I had to,” she stammered out, but he shook his head in disagreement.
“Bullshit,” he says. “You had to leave me like that? Disappear without saying goodbye? Without telling me how you were feeling?”
“You lost everything you worked your whole life for because of me.”
“No, I didn’t. I was a grown man. Yeah, we were young, but we were adults. I knew damn well what I was doing that night. And I’d do it again, Tessa. Knowing that douchebag made you feel unsafe? Violated you? My only regret is that I was pulled off of him before I could do more damage.”
“Tristan,” she had to look away from his intense gaze, her insides stirring from the fierce protectiveness and loyalty that he always had; it was equal parts infuriatingly insulting and also so fucking hot.
“No, you listen to me, Tessa,” he says, leaning in so close she could feel the heat emanating from his large body. “You didn’t even give me a choice in the matter. You didn’t give me a chance to speak to you or try to figure everything out. You took my future into your hands, and you left me.”
Her head is tipped down, small tears forming in the corners of her eyes, and out of all the things she’s been through in her life, she doesn’t know if she’s ever felt this vulnerable.
“We could have figured it out,” he whispered, his voice gentler now. “I would have figured anything out to be with you. And I hate that you took my chance of having a life with you away from me.”
She sniffled and let a tear fall, but quickly wiped it away, not allowing it more than a second of shining against her fair skin.
“I was scared,” she whispers. “I was scared that you’d hate me.
That you’d think I wasn’t worth losing football over.
Jordan was livid at me, and I don’t blame him.
But I just felt so guilty, Trist, so fucking guilty.
” She turns to look at him now, pleading with him to see just how tortured this has had her since it happened.
“And I loved you,” her words come out shaky and whispered, unsure if she should even be saying them. “And I just did what I thought loving someone whose whole life was football would do. I would have never made you choose me over football.”
He nods and reaches a hand out to carefully grasp her tiny one, and she feels her whole body relax at the sensation of being in his embrace, even if it’s just from hand holding.
“I don’t know why the universe crossed our paths again,” she says after a few minutes of silence,.“And I don’t know why it’s when you’re not even available but, maybe we can make the best of it and be friends?”
He scoffs and lets the acidic reality of their situation wash over him bitterly. He is with Kiana and has been for almost four years now. As much as he wants to throw himself at Tessa, he can’t do it with a good conscience. And the last thing he wants to do is cause Tessa to doubt his integrity.
“Friends?” he says, spitting the word out as if it’s poison.
“What, would you rather me say coworkers?”
“Fuck no,” he says, and she laughs.
“Guys we’re about to land,” Phillip yells at them from a few rows back. “Stop chit chatting and put your seatbelts on.”
When the plane lands they are in a new state, and it also feels like they’ve reached a new state in their relationship too; one that is free of lingering resentment and unanswered questions; one that has an underlying feeling of hope.
The week following Tristan and Tessa’s forced airplane confessional was quiet and uneventful.
They had both agreed to move forward with a mutual respect and understanding for each other and their feelings, eventually deciding that friendship was, in fact, the correct word for what they would be pursuing.
In Tessa’s mind, Tristan was in a relationship and focused on winning another Super Bowl, so she figured that no part of him was interested in anything more than friendship with her, even though he looked at her with stars in his eyes every time their paths crossed.
Tristan, however, knew it was only a matter of time before Tessa was his again.
He decided to be careful about his strategy this time, though.
When they were 20, he aggressively weaseled his way into her heart, but he knew the stakes were much different now.
Multiple people were now involved, they both had big careers that they shouldn’t mess with, and a lot of emotional baggage that would take time to sort through.
But something about that Monday morning told Tristan that his days of sitting back and waiting for Tessa to be ready weren’t going to be around for long.
He was currently sitting across from her in the press room, as were the two other tight ends on the Titans, Noah and Caden, and Tristan did not miss a single second of Caden flirting his face off with Tessa the whole interview.
She was questioning them about their roles, their strengths, weaknesses, how they worked together as a team, what made the team so great, what made them love the sport, etc, but all Tristan could focus on was Caden’s over the top flirtation and one liners.
Tristan couldn’t help but roll his eyes by the time the interview was over.
He wasn’t a fan of this, at all. He prides himself on being a great teammate, always getting along with everyone, and not having a hateful bone in his body.
But then Tessa appears, looking unbearable beautiful and charming, and suddenly all his teammates look like enemies.
“Tessa, you got a sec?” Tristan hears Caden speak up as they stand up and start gathering their things. Tristan turns around to see Tessa smiling up at the handsome football player, and his stomach surges with white hot jealousy.
“What’s up?” she asks in her sweet sing song voice, her blue eyes sparkling and full of life.
“I want to take you out,” he says, his voice even and steady. He seems confident and sure of showing his interest in her, and Tristan knows by experience that this will make 99% of women fold immediately. Fuck.
“You do?” Tessa says with a shy giggle, tucking her hair behind her ear, and the endearing innocence only appears to interest Caden more.
“Absolutely,” he says. “Dinner tomorrow? It’s the only day I don’t have physical therapy.”
Tessa’s eyes dart over to Tristan, and her heart suddenly starts pounding. He’s looking at her like he’s ready to pounce; like he wants to throw her over his shoulder and hide her away in his basement for himself only. And she wishes that didn’t turn her on as much as it does.
“There’s a great steak house I think you’d like,” Caden’s voice brings Tessa back to the present moment, and she shuffles on her feet awkwardly.
Tristan is staring at her unashamedly, and she’s almost sure his green eyes could start a fire out of intensity alone.
Something in her feels pulled towards Tristan, and she realizes it’s her heart.
It’s always belonged to him, always, and even in this moment, she feels like she should say no. She wants to say no, for him.
“Um..well…”
“Tristiiiiisssss!”
A grating voice envelops the otherwise peaceful space abruptly, and all eyes turn towards the exit door to see Kiana sauntering through it.
She’s dressed to the nines in a tiny dress, huge platform heels and a full face of make-up.
She looks stunning, and she is undeniably putting on a show.
Tessa can’t help but look over every inch of her, she appears to be perfect, but then Tessa realizes that perfect is not the correct word; she’s fake, even down to the way she runs over to Tristan and plants a big kiss on his unenthusiastic lips. Fake.
“Kiana, come on,” he grunts, trying to hold distance between them without fully slapping her away.
“What? I can’t come say hi to my boyfriend who I miss and love?” she asks, stretching out the last word, eyes throwing daggers at Tessa.
“I’m at work,” he reminds her, and she waves her hand in his face dismissively. Tessa is mystified by how these two ended up together. She doesn’t seem like Tristan’s type personality wise. Is he really that focused on outward appearances that he would be with someone so vain for so long?
Tessa watches with disdain and envy coursing through her veins as Kiana wraps her arms around Tristan’ neck and whispers something into his ear, something she assumes is suggestive based on the wink Kiana gives him when she pulls away.
Tristan doesn’t seem affected, but Tessa is, and with a surge of adrenaline she turns back towards Caden.
“I would love to go out with you,” she blurts out. Caden’s eyebrows shoot up in satisfaction while Tristan’s shoot up in surprise.
“That’s what I like to hear, let’s exchange numbers,” Caden says, and Tristan suddenly steps forward.
“Are we sure we want to be doing that at the beginning of the season?”
“Doing what?” Caden asks, his eyes lifting to meet Tristan’s. Caden looks genuinely confused, and Tessa looks downright irate.
“You know, like, hooking up,” Tristan stumbles over his words, not sure what he’s trying to say, all he knows is that he strongly disapproves of this, even though he knows he has no right to.
“This isn’t hooking up, this is going on a date,” Caden says, glancing at Tristan one more time before turning back to Tessa and putting his number into her phone.
“Shouldn’t you be focusing on writing your article or something?”
Tessa looks at Tristan with furrowed brows, and she crosses her arms in front of her, challenging him and staring him down.
“Something wrong, Trist?”
“I think you two would be perfect together,” Kiana says, inserting herself into the conversation.
“I’m leaving,” he says suddenly, bending down to grab his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.
“Thanks for the interview,” she says, holding up her notebook and giving him a sarcastic smile. “And have a good night with your girlfriend, friend.”
Tristan scoffs and almost combusts with fury, but Kiana’s claws digging into his arm and pulling him towards the exit knocks him out of his spell.
Tessa’s smile is smug as he walks away, but it falls quickly when she realizes she just pushed him away with his girlfriend, and her stomach twists in envy.
“Don’t mind Trist, him and Kiana must be fighting again,” Caden says.
“They do that a lot?”
“Oh yeah, they break up at least twice a year but she always threatens to kill herself so he keeps kind of placating her. Although we’re not supposed to know that. Shit, please don’t repeat that.”
“I won’t,” she says, dread creeping up her spine. Is he really that stuck with her? No wonder he looks on edge any time she’s around. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Can’t wait,” he says, “It should be fun.”