Chapter 21
Cillian
Fucking fuck fuck. I had no idea how that conversation with Ceri had taken such a turn for the worse. I’d been grumpy. There was no doubt about that.
I’d taken it out on her and been such an ass.
I’d said horrible things I didn’t mean, and even now, I wasn’t sure why I’d said them.
We’d had an argument based on something that wasn’t happening—Lor wasn’t even the true reason I was sneaking out of Fairwitch Isle, but I couldn’t tell Ceri the real reason, so I’d lashed out at her like an idiot.
“Are you going to ignore me the whole evening?” Siobhan said, sitting across from me in my private chamber, a small table set between us with flickering candles, goblets of wine that refilled themselves, and two steaming plates of seared rabbit and cabbage that neither of us had touched.
In other words, I was in the very last place I wanted to be.
“Sorry,” I said, digging my fork into the mashed potatoes harder than necessary.
Siobhan flinched. “What is the matter with you? You’re on a date with the most beautiful woman in Fairwitch Isle, your future wife, and you’re not even paying any attention to me.
” She gestured at the sequin dress that molded to her slim figure.
“This is one of my best dresses, and I’m wasting it on you. ”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Bold of you to assume you’re my future wife.”
She gasped, hand flying to her chest. “Of course I’m your future wife. This is just your castle’s way of testing me, making me prove myself.” She raised her chin. “And I’d say so far I’m doing an excellent job.”
Godwitches. “Can we just talk about something else?”
Her violet eyes flashed with a promise of violence. “That is what I’ve been trying to do all evening. It’s not my fault you’re not listening.”
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be here. I needed to find Ceri and talk to her, apologize for what an ass I’d been.
“Oh, for godwitches’ sake. Did you just hear what I said?”
“That I’m not listening.”
Siobhan’s eyes bugged. “I said that a full minute ago!” She slumped back into her chair. “I cannot believe this. I’m going to disappoint her again.”
“Welcome to the club,” I said.
“You’re going to disappoint your mam?” She raised an eyebrow.
I laid down my fork. “No.” I paused. “Well, yes, probably, since nothing I do seems to make her happy, much like everyone else. But that’s not who I was talking about.”
Siobhan eyed me for a moment. “Ceri. That’s who you’re talking about.”
“How did you know that?”
She scoffed. “After your yelling match today at tea, I’d imagine everyone knows that she’s unhappy with you. The question is why do you care so much?” There was a tremble in Siobhan’s voice like she was afraid to hear the answer.
“Because she’s my friend, and I messed up,” I said.
She held my gaze as if daring me to tell her the truth, except I couldn’t because the truth would wreck me. It would wreck Ceri. It would wreck everything.
Siobhan’s gaze dipped down, her eyes glassy. “Why do you keep doing that?”
Godwitches, I hoped I wasn’t about to make her cry. “Why do I keep doing what?” I asked, wary.
“Reaching into your pocket. You’ve shoved your hand inside your pocket no less than fifteen times since we sat down.”
I winced, instantly letting go of the vial I’d been gripping, telling myself I didn’t need another sip.
That the last one had been enough. Except it wasn’t fucking enough, because all my emotions were starting to slip through the cracks, and I wasn’t sure why.
I already felt guilty about leaving Fairwitch Isle once a month to procure this tonic.
I couldn’t leave again, and yet, I might have to because ever since I woke up after the dream about Ceri this morning, I’d felt like a fire was raging inside me, trying to get out.
“Just a tick, I guess,” I said, and her gaze narrowed.
“Stop lying.” She threw out her hands. “You’re lying. About everything. About Ceri just being a friend. About being sorry that you’re not listening to me.” Her eyes homed in on my pocket. “And about whatever is in that stupid pocket.”
Suddenly Siobhan was launching herself across the table with a war cry, plates and goblets crashing to the floor, wine splattering all over my clothes, and Siobhan landing on top of me, both of us toppling backward in the chair.
“What are you doing?” I yelled as she clawed at my shirt, ripping a few buttons while I batted her hands away.
“Figuring out what’s in your pocket!”
She jabbed a hand toward where I had my vial, and I caught her wrist. “Siobhan,” I warned. “Stop.”
Her jaw was set. “No.” Purple magic swirled around her hand, and I realized too late what was happening—not that I could’ve stopped it.
The magic dissipated, revealing my vial pinched between her fingers.
“Siobhan,” I warned, voice hoarse. “Be careful with that.”
She wrinkled her nose. “What is it?”
“Medicine,” I said quickly, too quickly from the way her eyes flashed. “I need it. I can’t—”
She got off me and stood, the vial still in her hand.
I stood too but didn’t move, afraid I’d spook her and she’d run away with my tonic. “Just give it back, and I’ll put it in a drawer. I’ll be present for our date. I promise.”
She was looking at me like she didn’t recognize me.
“Siobhan,” I said as her gaze bounced between the vial and me.
“I don’t know if I should give this back,” she said, pulling it closer to her chest. Her tone was no longer snide or angry. It almost sounded like . . . pity that was lining her voice.
No, no, no, no. Desperation clung to me as I reached for it, and she backed away.
“I swear it’s just medicine.”
“For what?” she asked.
Fuck. That would’ve been a good thing to think about before I’d said it.
“Uh . . . back pain.”
I’d hesitated too long, and Siobhan backed farther away, almost to the rose-covered wall.
Fuuuck. I needed to get that vial.
I steeled my shoulders. “If you don’t give that to me, I’m going to have to get it myself. Siobhan.” I stretched out an arm, pasting a smile across my face. “Just hand it over, and we can forget all about this unfortunate incident.”
“I don’t think I should,” she said slowly.
I was going to have to do this the hard way. I ran for her, and she shrieked as I reached for the vial, trying to pry it from her hand.
“Just give it to me,” I gritted out.
“No!” she yelled back.
Something tugged at me, and I looked behind me to see a portal. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“If you want this, you’re going to have to catch it.” She ripped her hand from my grip and threw the vial over my shoulder and into the swirling portal.
I didn’t even have to think before I dove in after it.