Chapter Six
Shae
THE SUN WAS WARM, the pool cool and inviting, and Shae was convincing herself that everything didn’t feel slightly off.
The sound of splashing and summer chatter circled her, but her body wouldn’t settle.
Em was only a few feet away, close enough to hear, but too far to read.
That uneasy silence hung between them like damp clothes on a line, dripping moisture to the ground.
Whatever they had had hadn’t been fully wrung out, and the evidence was becoming more apparent.
She hadn’t been able to shake the look on Em’s face from the night before.
The long, enigmatic stare before she'd tipped her beer back in that final round.
It was only a game, or at least that's what Shae was telling herself… but it didn’t feel like one.
It had left Shae restless, her thoughts circling like gulls over open water.
“We really need to figure out what we are going to do tonight,” Claire’s voice snapped Shae back to the present.
Claire propped herself up onto her elbows. “I can’t just lie by this pool all day, I’m going to turn into a lobster.”
“Girl, we’re going to figure it out, trust,” Kira said, placing her hand on Claire’s back.
“Who’s back for the summer?” Lennon turned to ask Brodie.
“Lots of people I’m sure, but as far as who’s actually in Chatham, I don’t know. I can send out some texts.”
Kira nudged Shae, “Let’s go inside and make some drinks.” She rose to her feet, offering Shae a hand.
“Really? It’s still early. What time is it?” Shae took Kira’s hand, letting Kira pull her up.
“It’s almost five,” Em said, lifting her head to look over, shielding her eyes from the evening sun.
“Is it?” Shae and Kira said in unison. Their faces snapped together as they smiled.
“I’m with you, girl. Let’s go get a drink,” Claire said.
“Alright, I’ll come,” Shae followed behind.
The three of them stepped into the kitchen. Seth was inside, rummaging through cabinets like he owned the place.
“Ladies!” he snapped his fingers. “Perfect timing. Emergency announcement: there’s a bonfire beach event this evening, cliffside.
And guess who’s rumored to be there?” He turned dramatically, holding up a peach seltzer in one hand like a mic.
“Julian. Aka: the hottest disaster bisexual I’ve ever crushed on. We have to go.”
Brodie poked his head in through the back door, “Seth, grab me one too,” he called.
Seth sauntered over and handed him one of the seltzers he pulled from the fridge.
“What’s this?” Brodie questioned.
“A seltzer. You said, ‘grab me one.’”
“A beer, dude. I meant a beer. Figures.” He strode into the house and swapped out his seltzer for pale ale. “So what’s up? Kira, you look like you got some life back in your eyes. You guys decide on anything?” he asked, cracking the beer open with a hiss.
“Seth was just telling us about this party.” Everyone turned toward Seth.
“That’s right. I almost didn’t find out about this beach party tonight, where Julian… Yes, my Julian will be in attendance, shirtless, sandy, and sexy as hell. I am not going to miss it. So, I need everyone to get hot and get ready.”
“You’re so dramatic,” Shae said, biting back a smile.
“I’m gay, Shae. It’s literally in my contract,” he snapped. “Anyway, I RSVP’d for all of us.”
“You RSVP’d to a beach bonfire? Isn’t that like, open to the public?” Lennon asked, strolling in behind Em from the living room, both of them holding popsicles from the freezer. Em raised an eyebrow, curious.
“Ok, Houdini! Where did you come from?” He spun to look at them.
“Who’s Julian?” Claire asked.
Brodie flopped himself across the couch. “The man of Seth’s dreams,” he teased.
“First of all,” Seth said, hands on his hips, “you wish you could dream like I do.”
“I’m down,” Kira said, digging into her bag and pulling out her lipstick. “Beach party? I’m wearing red.”
“Obviously,” Shae said.
“Em?” Seth asked, scanning the room like a casting director.
Em’s gaze flicked briefly to Shae. “Sure. I’m in.”
Shae didn’t say anything, but her eyes met Em’s for a fleeting moment before Em’s attention shifted across the room as though the look was casual.
Claire stepped beside Shae and bumped her shoulder. “How about you, Shae?” She paused, waiting for a response. “C’mon, summer fun, remember?”
Shae shrugged. “I guess I’m down.”
The beach was buzzing when they arrived: music upbeat and bass-heavy, fire crackling against the blue-tinged dusk.
Lights were strung between driftwood poles.
People stood around barefoot in the sand, beer bottles and Solo cups everywhere.
A brave group danced by the speakers—the thought of it made Shae’s ears sting—while another group juggled and hula hooped to the beat.
“If they hit me with one of those things, I’m gonna kick someone’s ass,” Kira promised.
Shae hadn’t even slipped off her sandals before Seth abandoned the group like he was on a mission from God.
“Shae, I’m stealing Kira for a minute. She’s my new wing-woman.” He seized Kira’s hand, and she shot a wide-eyed, “Help me!” as he tugged her along the beach—only to let go the instant they reached Julian.
“There he goes,” Brodie said, watching Seth make a beeline toward a tall guy with jet-black curls and a contagious laugh.
“Julian?” Claire asked.
“Julian,” Lennon confirmed, watching the scene unfold like it was a reality show.
Shae lingered behind, slow to move. Em brushed past her, her bare shoulder grazing Shae’s arm. As she pulled off her hoodie, Shae caught that scent again that was distinctly Em, and her stomach jumped.
“Wanna walk with me?” she asked quietly, looking at Shae with questioning eyes as if expecting a no.
Shae didn’t answer right away, but she followed. They strolled side by side along the curve of the beach, the ocean stretching out wide and silver under the rising moon.
“I don’t really do this well,” Em said after a long silence.
“Do what?”
“The whole group thing. Parties. People.”
Shae glanced over. “Yeah… It’s never really been your thing, has it?
They were silent for a moment. “Well, it’s working for you.”
“Is it?” Em asked.
“Isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. For the first time today, I actually thought about leaving.”
They stopped walking to face each other. The air between them charged, like a current running under the sand. Shae pulled her thin t-shirt away from her skin, briefly fanning herself.
“Can I ask why?”
She took Em in, the firelight behind her painting her in gold and auburn shadows.
“Do I have to say it?” Em searched Shae’s eyes for answers. “Are we ever going to talk about it, Shae?” She held Shae’s stare with hers.
They stood there, an unease in Shae’s stomach. She didn’t know what part she meant: the night in her bed, the betrayal that ensued, or all of it?
“I miss being your… friend,” Em settled on this last word as if she knew it didn’t quite fit what they were to each other. They stalled there for a second, Em’s eyes averted downward as she drew pictures in the sand with her toe.
“That’s… not what we were.” Shae countered. It was the most honest thing she’d admitted to her since coming back. But Em was never her friend; she was Lennon’s. They had always teetered on the edge of something more.
“What were we then?” Em’s eyes narrowed with intensity. Her hand lifted as though she might reach for Shae but let it drop back to her side. “I hate this,” Em said.
Shae held her breath, taking a couple of steps backward. “I think we should just… let it be.”
“Shae. I—”
But before she could finish, a loud whoop came from behind them.
“Let’s gooooo!” Kira yelled, sprinting toward the water, dragging Claire behind her.
Shae took a few more steps backward, hesitating.
Em shoved her hands into her pockets. “Go. Go be social.”
Shae nodded resolutely and spun on her heels, veering toward Kira, who was kicking up water with Claire at the shoreline.
She peered back over her shoulder to see Em steadily making her way toward the fire, her hands fiddling with a piece of dune grass.
Em lifted a hand and swiped something from her cheek, and Shae’s face went slack.
She let out a deep sigh, allowing her head to fall backwards as she stared up at the sky without seeing it.
“What was that about?” Kira pressed, wrapping her arm around Shae as she walked up.
“I do not know.”
“Girl, you know more than you say. You need to start changing that statement to, ‘I do not share.’”