35
These past few weeks, between school, work and spending time with Brooks, I haven’t had time for anything or anyone else.
I’m not even sure when I last saw Luna, let alone spoke to her, but I know it’s been at least a month.
Luckily, Amir and I share classes, though I get the feeling that he’s been talking to Luna more than me lately.
Mark has sent me a few more messages, asking how I am, telling me about his work and how much he misses me.
I’ve ignored them all. I have no idea how to live my new life and still have him in it.
Propping myself on the edge of Brooks’ bed, I scroll through my messages with Luna. She messaged me almost three weeks ago, and I never responded. I quickly type out a message of my own, hoping that my gesture will make up for the weeks of silence.
It sounds like such a simple thing to do. We used to walk to school together all the time when we were in high school, and we were set to continue that tradition when we started university. But lately, I have been running so late in the mornings that Brooks gives me a lift on his way to work.
I slide into bed wearing only Brooks’ t-shirt. I instantly relax, feeling his smooth grey sheets on my bare legs. My phone pings as I’m leaning to turn the lamp off.
I place my phone back on the bedside table and flick off the lamp, plunging the apartment into darkness.
As soon as I put my head on my pillow–yes, I have officially claimed one of Brooks’ pillows as my own–his strong arms wrap around me and pull me closer.
His lips find the side of my neck as he tugs the t-shirt up over my head.
“I guess you’re not tired,” I tease, turning to wrap my leg around his waist and push my naked body against his.
“How could I have you in my bed and not touch you?” he whispers in my ear, his soft breath causing tingles to spread across my skin.
Mark sits at the end of his bed, putting his shoes on. We’re late for something, but I can’t seem to remember what it is. There’s a plate of breakfast food on the bedside table, and the smell of bacon makes my mouth water.
“Ready to go, Hun?” I ask, immediately regretting calling him anything other than Mark.
“Hun?” Mark questions, looking up at me.
“I thought I’d give it a go. What? You don’t like pet names?” The pang of rejection is already piercing my chest.
“It’s just so corny. Don’t you think? Surely, you don’t want to be “That” couple?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes as if I were suggesting the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.
I stare at him blankly, trying to hold back tears. He doesn’t like it when I cry in front of him. I’ve done it once before. He took me in his arms, I thought to comfort me, but he told me later that he didn’t want anyone else to see the ugly face I was pulling.
“You know the fake couples in those books you read. They make out in the morning even though they have morning breath. They call each other babe or angel face, and they always have some blown-out misunderstanding that could be resolved if they just communicated like normal people.”
“I think some of that stuff is sweet.”
“You would,” he says with a laugh. My face drops, and he realises that he’s hurt my feelings.
“We can be sweet in other ways. Like the way I hold your hand, or when I open the car door for you. Can we please just leave the pet names for other couples?” He stands in front of me and takes both of my hands in his.
I nod, defeated.
“Thank you,” he whispers, looking into my eyes. I lift my head slightly and pucker my lips, expecting him to kiss me, but instead, he lifts his wrist in between our faces to look at his watch.
“We’d better get going. Your alarm is going to go off any minute.” He holds out his elbow for me to thread my hand through, and a wave of disappointment rushes through me as I slide my arm through his.
I open my eyes and see Brooks’ apartment.
I hate dreaming about Mark when I’m in bed with Brooks.
It’s like my mind still thinks he’s my boyfriend, which makes me feel like I’m being unfaithful.
Brooks’ face is close to the back of my neck, so close that chills run down my spine as his breath hits my skin.
His arm is wrapped around my naked body as we snuggle under the blanket.
I reach for my phone without leaving his embrace.
He stirs in his sleep and pulls me closer.
The alarm on my phone starts ringing, filling the apartment with its loud tune.
Brooks lets go, rolling onto his side, and he yawns loudly.
I dart for my phone, shutting off the alarm and turning to face him, quickly doing a breath check before I speak.
“Morning, babe,” he says, sleepily stretching his arms above his head. I know I picked on him the first time he called me that, but it’s grown on me. The slight embarrassment I once felt hearing it has evaporated, and all I want is to hear that gorgeous word fall from his lips again.
“Morning.” I move closer to him and let my head rest on his chest. “Did you sleep well?”
“After what we did last night? I had an amazing sleep.” He wraps his arms around my body again.
“Me too,” I say, teasing the hair on his lower stomach.
“If you keep doing that, we’re going to be late again.” He shudders under my touch.
“You’re right. I’m meeting Luna this morning.” I remove my hand from his body and brace myself to get up.
“You can’t leave now. You have to finish what you started.” He gently kisses my lips, turning his body towards mine, and I smile up at him, wishing that I felt confident enough to tell him that I love him. Because I do.
I love him.