36
“We’re going to be late,” Luna says impatiently, as I burst into the apartment wearing yesterday’s clothes. She’s loudly drumming her fingers on the kitchen bench as if that will help me move faster.
“Give me a minute. I’ll get changed.” I rush into my room.
I was floating on a cloud of ecstasy on my way home this morning, but if I had known I would have to put up with Luna’s condescending tone, I wouldn’t have bothered coming.
Throughout our entire lives, I have been the one waking her when her alarm doesn’t go off, helping her finish her assignments because she’s left them too late, and she’s giving me a hard time because she’s going to be late for one class.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You could have left without me,” I reply, ripping my clothes off and rummaging through my drawers. I throw on clean underwear, jeans and one of Brooks’ t-shirts that I managed to sneak back in my bag.
“You messaged me. Remember? We had a plan. What is with you?”
I rush past her and into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
“Nothing is with me. I’m late, and I’m trying to get ready.
” That’s a lie. It’s her. She is what’s with me.
Our time apart lately has caused me to see how much I used to follow her around.
I ran every action past her before making it.
I even relied on her for outfit approval before I would feel confident enough to leave the house.
Since Brooks, I am self-assured in my own body, more than I ever have, and that has caused me to depend on her less, and she can’t stand it.
“This isn’t like you,” she whispers, so quietly that I’m not sure if she intended for me to hear her.
“What? Because I’m running late? It’s one class.
They won’t even notice I’m gone, and I, unlike some people, am already ahead in the coursework, so it won’t even matter,” I snap, knowing that I’m lying to prove my point.
To be clear, I was ahead of the coursework, but lately, I’ve found it difficult to stay on top of the content.
The university workload is so much more intense compared to high school.
“Excuse me?” Luna arks up, clearly not used to me sticking up for myself.
“All I’m saying is if you were worried about being late, you could have left by now. You didn’t have to wait,” I say with a sigh, running my fingers through my hair and pulling it back into a ponytail.
“Fine, next time I won’t bother,” she grumbles, crossing her arms across her chest. “You’re the one who messaged me,” she adds, in such a low volume that I know she doesn’t want me to respond. I wonder if she has always been this passive-aggressive. “Ready?”
“Yes, I’m ready,” I snap, picking up my bag and throwing my phone in.
We briskly walk to campus in silence, and when it’s time to split up and go our separate ways, we don’t say goodbye.
I’ll think twice before inviting her to walk with me again.
I’d much rather Brooks drop me off. At least that way, I’d skip Luna’s tantrums and start my day off right with a proper goodbye kiss in his car.
I slip into class unnoticed and take my usual seat next to Amir.
“Nice of you to join us,” Amir jokes. “Too busy making love to Mr Perfect to make class on time?”
I scrunch my face and tilt my head slightly to the side as I look at him. “Luna?”
I know she’s been messaging Amir to complain about me, despite him being my friend first. I don’t like the nickname they’ve given Brooks either. He is perfect, but they’ve turned it into a sarcastic inside joke.
“She’s worried about you.”
I have had it with everyone constantly being on Luna’s side. She is always the star, and I’m the bumbling sidekick who tags along with whatever she wants. Well, not anymore. Brooks has helped me see that I don’t have to be the supporting character. I can be my own leading lady. His leading lady.
“Whatever. She’s making a big deal out of nothing,” I grump, pulling out my books.
“I get it. If a guy that sexy wanted to give me an orgasm to start my day, I’d be late too.” He nudges me playfully and I finally smile, letting Amir’s humour lift my dark mood.
“I think she’s jealous,” I confide, straightening my pens and highlighters on the desk.
“Maybe, or maybe she misses you.” Again, he jumps to her defence.
Years of frustration are boiling to the surface, and I can no longer keep it inside. “Seriously? I was late to meet her once.”
“I’m just saying,” Amir whispers, as the lecturer looks up at us to see where the noise is coming from. She gives us a disapproving glance before continuing with her lecture. I pull my phone out from my bag and message Brooks.
After pressing send, my phone vibrates in my hand.
I put my phone back in my bag and start taking notes. Something I should have been doing the second I sat down, not wasting my time talking about Luna.
“That’s it for today. Please remember that your assessments are due next week.
If you need to request an extension, tomorrow is the cut-off.
The results for last week’s test will be posted online tonight, so keep an eye out,” the lecturer announces, slowly raising his voice over the noise of students leaving the room.
I stand and gather my books. This is my last lecture for the day, and panic at the thought of seeing Luna is beginning to edge its way into my thoughts. I don’t think I could handle another passive-aggressive confrontation today.
“Miss Matthews,” the lecturer calls my name. “Can I please see you before you leave?”
Worry begins to flush my cheeks. I have always hated talking to teachers, petrified that I’m going to get into trouble.
I walk towards him, feeling an impending doom with each step.
Amir lightly brushes my arm, giving me a warm smile before walking out of the room and leaving me alone with the lecturer.
“How are things going, Abigail?” he asks, shuffling papers on the desk, without making eye contact.
“Umm, fine? And it’s Abi,” I answer nervously. I hate being called by my full name by anyone other than Brooks. Mum incessantly calls me Abigail, and it makes me feel like I’m twelve years old again, being yelled at for eating the brownie batter.
“Abi,” he says with a smile, correcting himself. “Everything ok at home?”
“Yes, umm, what’s this about?” I ask, biting my bottom lip, trying not to cry.
“Your test last week. You passed by just two points.”
As he speaks the words, the air is sucked out of my lungs. Throughout high school, I was an A student, ok, one time I got a B, but that wasn’t my fault. Luna had dragged me out to the movies when I had wanted to stay home and study.
“I’m not used to this level of work from you, Abi.
You started so strongly at the beginning of the semester, but slowly, I’ve seen your test results drop.
The last assessment you handed in was late even after applying for an extension.
I’ve also noticed that you’ve gone from being one of the first students here to often being the last to arrive.
” He pauses, looking into my eyes, no doubt seeing them filled to the brim with tears.
“I know you can do better, Abi. Keeping that in mind, would you like to request an extension for the assessment due next week? It’s worth 35% of your grade. ”
I slowly start to nod, scared that if I dare speak a word, my eyes will betray me and let a tear spill.
The lecturer nods sympathetically. He lifts a sheet of paper from his desk that he had already prepared.
I take it from him; it’s the extension request. I’m filled with disappointment at the realisation that he knew I’d need it.
“Fill this out and have it back to me by 5 pm tomorrow, and you’ll get another week. And please, Abi, try to focus.”
I watch the paper shake as I clutch it in my hands. How could I have let this happen? If I don’t pass this assignment, I’m going to fail this unit. And if I fail this unit, I’ll probably fail the course, and if I fail the course, I’ll have to drop out and move home, far away from Brooks.
“Abi, it’s going to be ok. We caught it before it got too far. I’m sure if you apply yourself, you’ll be back on top in no time.” He smiles one last time before looking back at the papers on his desk, dismissing me.
I silently walk out of the classroom, absolutely mortified.
All I need to recover is for Brooks to wrap his arms around me, hold me, and tell me everything’s going to be ok.
I’m walking out of the campus in a daze when I see Luna waiting on the stairs where we used to meet one another at the end of the day.
I pause momentarily, hesitating, trying to make up my mind if I want to talk to her.
“Are we ok?” she asks.
“We’re ok,” I say with a sigh. We’ve never fought like this, and I’m not willing to let our friendship suffer over something as stupid as being late for one class, one time. Luna loops her arm through mine, and we walk off campus.
“Good,” she says simply, without saying sorry. I honestly wasn’t expecting an apology from her anyway. “We need a girls' night with ice cream, popcorn and pedis.”
“That sounds great. But I’m not sure what plans I have for tonight,” I say awkwardly.
“You mean you’re not sure if Brooks is going to decide he wants to see you?” she asks bitterly, unlinking her arm from mine.
“Give me a break. I’m sorry I was late this morning, but why do you suddenly want a girls’ night with me? Is it because you’re jealous of me and Brooks?” I snap, shifting my bag from one shoulder to the other.
“Fuck no. I’m not jealous of you and Brooks.
” She says his name while screwing her face up in disgust. “I’m pissed off because you have been obsessing over him since the day we arrived.
You’ve barely spoken to me lately, and I have actual things I need to talk to my best friend about, and you’re never there. ”
I realise we have stopped walking when I look around and see that we’re standing next to someone’s front gate. The small one-storey house, which is sandwiched between two others just like it, blocks the afternoon sun, sending a cold chill down my spine.
“About Gaia? I have listened. I’ve been here, but it’s hard to keep up when you’re talking about her one minute and then all over Sam the next.”
“Fuck you, Abigail. I was there for you all through the Mark debacle. My dad pays for our apartment and all the furniture in it, your food, the bills, everything, and when Brooks was fucking with you, I was there, protecting you, propping you up when he tore you down. Our friendship is supposed to go both ways. You need to be there for me, too. And you do realise you sound a little jealous yourself, don’t you?
I didn’t know seeing me with Sam upset you.
I wonder what Mr Perfect would think about that.
” Her voice gets louder with every point she lists, and I look around to see if anyone is watching.