47
Brooks’ head rests in my lap as we sit on the couch watching a movie.
I’m softly playing with his hair as his hand glides up and down my leg.
I’ve been feeling a little off all day, fighting waves of nausea.
A night relaxing on the couch is exactly what I need, although I’m curious how long we can make it through this movie before we’re naked.
We have started countless movies, never seeing the end because we’re so wrapped up in each other, and although I’m not feeling my best, I would still happily rip his clothes off in a heartbeat.
Something shifted between us at the bed and breakfast, almost five weeks ago.
He’s softened, opened himself up more, and now I simply feel content, like this is exactly where I was always destined to be.
A loud knock on the door interrupts my lustful thoughts, and Brooks lifts his head off my lap. I instantly miss him. He pecks me on the cheek, showing me that he would rather have stayed on the couch.
“Are you coming out or what?” Jeremy asks, bursting through the door with Mai following closely behind. Both are dressed up for a night out.
“Shit. I forgot,” Brooks replies, walking into the kitchen. He pulls a couple of beers from the fridge, handing one to Jeremy.
“It’s my birthday.” Jeremy pouts dramatically.
“His twenty-first birthday,” Mai corrects from the living room.
“Wow, happy birthday.” I shoot Jeremy a bright smile while silently hoping that Brooks doesn’t want to go out. I’m not sure if I could stomach a night of alcohol mixed in with Harper.
“Thank you.” Jeremy turns to face me. “Are you coming out tonight?”
“I don’t think we could handle all the petty bullshit tonight,” Brooks answers for the both of us, with a sigh, before lifting the beer bottle to his lips.
“She’s not coming,” Mai announces.
“Are you sure?”
“She’s got some family thing she couldn’t get out of,” Mai replies, waving her phone in the air as if that’s proof, and I wonder if Brooks will ask to see the evidence.
“Abi?” Brooks asks, looking directly at me.
“I don’t know,” I reply, wishing we weren’t having this conversation in front of his friends.
“You can stay here. I won’t be long.”
“Have you always been this boring? Brooks, what do you see in this girl?” Jeremy asks with a chuckle. “Come on, Abi. Please come. It’s my birthday.”
I look down at my feet, beyond embarrassed. I don’t want Brooks’ friends to think I’m boring. What if he goes without me and finds someone else he thinks is more fun? We’ve been just us in our little bubble for so long, I don’t want Brooks to go out without me and realise how incompatible we are.
“Do you want me to come?” I ask, hoping with everything that I have that Brooks is going to say yes.
“You can come if you want. We’ll go for a little while, and then I’ll bring you home and tuck you into bed.
” His eyes rake up and down my body, causing a hunger to stir deep within my chest. “Go get changed.” He walks towards me, closing the distance between us, and my body vibrates with electricity.
He brings his lips to mine, softly kissing me.
Jeremy makes a swooning sound, and Brooks pulls away, telling him to shut up.
I try to hold his gaze, but he turns his head and moves back into the kitchen.
“Are you going to get ready or what?” he calls over his shoulder.
“I, umm, yeah. See you soon?” I stammer. He ignores my question, carrying on his hushed conversation with Jeremy.
The front door to my apartment is unlocked, although it doesn’t feel like my apartment anymore.
Sure, all of my stuff is here, but I haven’t slept here in so long.
I push through, causing the door to creak loudly and walk into the kitchen to find Luna, Sam and Gaia, all dressed up, doing shots at the kitchen bench.
“Abi!” Luna shouts in surprise. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I’m going to quickly get ready. I’m assuming you’re all heading out for Jeremy’s birthday?
” I ask, feeling like the only person who wasn’t clued in on tonight’s plans ahead of time.
I sulk off into my bedroom, already envisioning what’s inside my wardrobe.
If I’m going out tonight with Brooks and his friends, I have to look like I’m good enough to be with him.
I step back and inspect the few dresses I’ve brought home from work.
I take out a cotton black tiered mini dress and begin to change without closing the door properly.
I need to move quickly. If I had been given sufficient warning, I would have washed my hair and spent at least half an hour on my makeup.
Instead, I have to attempt to look beautiful in–I check the time on my phone–fifteen minutes.
I walk out of my room, back through the kitchen and into the bathroom, not daring to make eye contact with anyone.
I don’t have time for chit-chat. I look in the mirror, and all I see is a sad, tired loser who doesn’t have enough time to make herself look half-decent.
The mascara I applied this morning is smudged under my left eye, and the concealer that was disguising the forming zit on my chin has rubbed off.
I can’t believe I let Brooks see me like this.
I pull out my makeup case and get to work.
I never used to wear much make-up, but lately, I’ve been wearing a little every day.
Brooks says it makes me look older, more sophisticated.
I touch up my mascara, reapply the concealer to my zit, draw on a little eyeliner and pull my tangled hair up into a tight bun on the top of my head.
“Shot?” Luna asks, sneaking up behind me in the bathroom mirror. She holds out a shot glass, which is filled to the brim with tequila. “I’m glad you’re coming.”
“Me too.” I smile back, tipping the liquid into my mouth. It burns as it slides down my throat. Luna pulls me in for a long hug, wrapping her arms around my neck and slightly knocking me off balance.
“Everything ok?” I ask, softly tapping her back.
“I’ve just missed you,” she whispers in my ear.
I wrap my arms around her waist and bring her in tightly.
I had pictured her sitting over here, complaining about me.
It never occurred to me that she might have needed me.
"Spend the day with me tomorrow?” she asks, pulling away from our hug but leaving her hands on the top of my shoulders.
She looks me directly in the eyes and waits for my response.
“Definitely. You have me all day.” As soon as I say the words, I find myself feeling uneasy. If Brooks has anything planned for both of us tomorrow, he’s going to be upset if I tell him I’m spending the day with Luna instead.
“You look beautiful. Now get your ass out here and have another drink,” Luna instructs, barely containing the smile on her face.
It feels good to know that I’m the one who put it there.
She drags me out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen.
I catch Sam’s eyes roaming over my body before meeting my gaze.
“Drink?” Sam offers, holding out another shot glass.
He has a new tattoo on his arm. I take a moment to examine it.
It’s amazing. I recognise some of the plants from the courtyard have been added, and the heart-shaped roots at the bottom are eerily beautiful.
I reach out to take the glass, and our fingers brush one another, causing a spark of electricity to shoot from his fingers to mine.
A deep longing I had all but forgotten tugs on my heart.
The door creaks open, and Brooks walks in with Mai and Jeremy.
I pull my hand away from Sam’s with a jerk, causing the shot glass to fall to the ground and smash into hundreds of tiny shards.
“You alright?” Brooks asks, appearing beside me. He places his hand on my lower back and sets his eyes towards Sam with a protective glare.
“Sorry, the glass was slippery,” Sam lies, bending down to pick up the broken pieces. Luna appears with the cordless vacuum. I hadn’t realised she’d left the room, and I definitely didn’t know that we had a cordless vacuum.
“Get your shit together, Sam,” she jokes, lightening the mood.
She bumps Sam’s hip with hers as she walks past. He laughs as his eyes linger on her back, and she disappears to put the vacuum away.
They’ve grown closer since the last time I saw them, if that’s even possible.
A slight pang of jealousy stabs into my chest out of nowhere.
I cling to the back of Brook’s t-shirt. I don’t like being out of our bubble.
When it’s just us, everything is so simple.
I love him, and he loves me, and we’re all the other needs.
I leave his side for twenty minutes, and already Luna’s made me feel guilty for not being around more, Sam has flashed me his sad eyes, and I don’t even want to think about what just happened when we touched.
The sparks are supposed to be for Brooks and me, not me and Sam.
“Ready to go?” Jeremy stands holding the door open.
Gaia and Luna both shout an enthusiastic “yes” before following him out into the courtyard.
I shuffle towards the door with Brooks, not daring to let him go.
Gaia walks ahead, talking with Mai and Jeremy, while Sam and Luna are following, with his arm draped over her shoulders.
“Don’t leave me tonight,” I whisper, hoping that Luna or Sam can’t hear me.
“I don’t plan to.” Brooks kisses the top of my head, and his arm tightens around my shoulders.
We arrive at the bar and find a large booth.
Everyone slides in except for Brooks, who announces that he’s going to buy the first round of drinks.
He looks like a movie star as he runs his fingers through his short brown hair.
My heart is mid-flutter when he taps Sam on the shoulder, asking him to join him.
The others chat around me, but I can’t help but watch Brooks and Sam, wondering what they’re talking about.