53
Abi’s screams fill the apartment.
“LUNA!”
The plate I was washing slips from my hands and falls back into the sink, smashing, the ceramic splintering into pieces.
The sound of Abi screaming my name still echoes through my mind.
I can’t stop picturing the bright red blood in her underwear.
I screw my eyes shut in an attempt to wipe the image from my mind.
We rushed to the emergency room, and as they confirmed that Abi was having a miscarriage, she broke down.
I hadn’t realised how conflicted she had been about everything.
She had told me over and over that she was going to have an abortion.
Fuck, we even got the pills. I held her as she cried, grieving the loss of her baby, the one that I doubt she even knew she wanted until the choice was taken away.
The doctors came to talk to her. I tried to listen the best I could because I knew she wasn’t, but it was hard to hear over her sobs.
They handed me pain medication for her cramps and told us we could go home.
She’d have to come back in a couple of weeks to make sure everything had cleared on its own.
As soon as we were back at the apartment, Abi changed into one of Brooks’ t-shirts and her baggy sweatpants, and I set her up on the couch with a blanket.
She lay down silently, sobbing, her lungs sucking in sharp, shallow breaths, eyes no longer producing tears.
How much pain can one person endure? None of this is in my control, and all I want to do is take away all of her pain. I’d give anything to see her smile.
“How is she doing?” Gaia asks quietly once she arrives.
She places the bags of groceries on the bench.
I shrug as I reach into a bag and start pulling out food.
I’m shocked. It’s like a Mary Poppins bag of junk food.
There are five types of potato chips and at least six bags of different chocolates, cookie dough, ice cream and carrot sticks.
I hold up the bag of vegetables with a questioning look.
“We’re going to need something healthy to counteract all this junk.” Gaia defends her snack choices. I hold in a laugh and look back over towards Abi. She’s awake, clutching her stomach.
“Hey, Abi? How about we put on a movie?” I call out to her.
The doctor told us to expect heavy bleeding to last the rest of the day.
I’m hoping that a movie will make a good distraction for her.
Abi pulls herself up slightly, adjusting the heat bag on her belly.
Her face pinches in pain. She forces a weak smile.
At least she’s stopped crying, for now. She pretends like it’s nothing, but I can tell by her tense posture that she’s in pain.
I take a seat next to her and scoop her upper body up onto my lap.
I remember what Rita used to do for us when we were sick and start to run my fingers through her hair. That always made me feel better.
Halfway through watching Frozen, she jumps up and runs to the toilet.
She groans in pain, and before I know it, my feet are moving me towards the bathroom.
Without knocking, I push the door all the way open.
She’s hunched over, sitting on the toilet, and all I can do is squat down and sit beside her, holding her hand.
“These cramps are insane,” she gasps, clutching her lower stomach.
“You’re doing great, Abs. It’ll all be over soon.” I try to sound encouraging. I hate seeing her like this. I help her stand from the toilet, and we walk out into the living room.
“Cookies are ready,” Gaia says, popping up from the oven.
For the rest of the evening, we watch movies and finish off the last of the junk food. Not wanting to leave her alone, Gaia and I make a bed on the floor while Abi sleeps soundly on the couch.