63
My phone pings loudly next to my head. It’ll be Luna. Every hour on the hour, she checks in to make sure I’m not a blubbering mess. I pull myself up to sit against the headboard of Gaia’s bed, reach for the wine glass sitting on the bedside table and tap on the message.
She’s started to sleep back at the apartment with Luna a bit more this week.
Now that I’m alone, I wish I had someone to distract me from the little voices in my head.
At first, they’re quiet, whispering, telling me to check my phone to see if Brooks has tried to call again.
They start to get a little louder when they suggest that I call him back, that I’m never going to find anyone who will treat me better than Brooks did, not with how boring I am.
They tell me that he really did try his best to love me.
I didn’t make it easy. The last night we were together, I danced with that guy to make him jealous.
He deserved better. I humiliated him. No wonder he told me to leave his apartment the next day, but not before he took care of me all night.
He was a good boyfriend. While I attempt to push these voices deep into the back of my mind, they become agitated, beginning to shout.
I welcome the sweet relief that the message alert from my phone brings me as I take a sip of my wine.
The voices quiet down when Luna’s name is on my screen.
My stomach twists at the sight of Brooks' name, and I sigh.
I open a chat with Brooks and scroll down past all of the messages he’s sent me since he got back, begging me to talk to him. I type:
I hit send, and within seconds, my phone buzzes in my hand.