Chapter 18 #2
“Why do you always do this?” he asked, his voice low as he studied her.
“Why insist on keeping me in the dark?” He stepped closer to where she lay, the muscles in his jaw clenching.
“Have I not proven myself trustworthy when I’ve saved your lives more than once now?
” Eldric’s voice came out harsh, struggling to keep it steady.
He didn’t want them to notice how hurt he was, but he wasn’t succeeding.
“That’s not the point, Van Myr,” Alissa answered, taking a deep breath to contain the annoyance rising.
“What else are you hiding, Alissa? One moment, it’s the injury in your leg you didn’t tell us about. The other is this ‘disease’ that clearly messes with your head,” he barked, resuming the pacing back and forth. “What’s next? Are you a thief as well? The blessed Queen of Heldraine?”
She ignored him, but the deadpan look on her face was compromised by the flaring of her nostrils and the yell that came next. “You know nothing about me!” The stabbing pain in her leg was just as persistent as the one deep inside her chest.
“Of course I don’t, and that’s the damn point… You never tell me anything!” His tone grew louder as he tried to outmatch hers.
Their eyes met when he approached her again. He leaned down, placing his hand on the chair beside her so that their faces were on the same level. They were so close, she could smell his breath.
Her heart beat faster, whether from the heat of the argument or a different kind, she didn’t know.
Eldric’s eyes never left hers, his scrutiny so deep she suspected he could see all of her—her fears, her dreams, her soul.
His breath was choppy and uneven. “I killed for you, Alissa. More than once.” He exhaled.
“And I would do it again, without hesitation. Do you not see that?” His voice was lower, rougher than she had ever heard before.
But even then, he could not prevent it from breaking when the overwhelming feelings he had been burying deep within himself threatened to surface.
Alissa felt his words hit her strong and sharp like a blade, but she didn’t say anything; she only watched him, her brown eyes blinking away tears.
“You trusted me to take you across the country. Why can’t you trust me with the truth?” Eldric whispered.
The way he looked at her with sorrow brought an unwelcome sting to her throat.
“I’m not your enemy, Alissa. You should know that by now,” he said before stepping away from her.
Alissa followed him with her eyes as he stormed out of the tent, mourning the sudden loss of his green eyes on her and the warmth that emanated from him. Deep inside, she knew he deserved to know the whole truth. She just wasn’t sure she was ready to share it yet.
Freyah silently watched her best friend cry herself to sleep.
Her tears were an accumulation of everything: the attack from a few days earlier and her illness, the reason why they found themselves so far away from their home to begin with, how she missed her daughter.
But they were also triggered by her feelings toward a certain man, feelings she couldn’t acknowledge, that culminated in her unconsciously pushing him away again and again.
Freyah had suspected for a while that the constant provocations between them were a way to hide much deeper feelings.
This argument was the proof she had needed to confirm her suspicions.
Freyah decided it was time to intervene.
She waited until Alissa’s breath was heavy, as she slept peacefully under the candle lights, and slipped away to find Eldric.
She was prepared for a long search through the town to find him but was surprised to find Eldric right outside the tent, sitting on the grass.
He held his knees to his chest and looked at the sky, desolate.
“I thought you would be far away by now,” she said, sitting beside him.
“I would, if we weren’t fugitives.” He forced a small, sad smile. “I don’t understand her, Freyah,” he whispered. “Why can’t she just open up?”
Every part of Eldric at that moment betrayed his resentment: the hunched shoulders, the clenched fists, the slight shake of his head. He had done so much to protect them, yet he was still treated with distrust.
It broke Freyah’s heart to see him, a friend, that way.
“She doesn’t do it on purpose, Eldric. It’s just too hard for her to talk about,” Freyah said, resting her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
“Is that fair, though? To treat me with such suspicion when all I do is help you?”
“No, it’s not fair. But you need to give her a break.
She’s had a tough life, Eldric. Between poverty and loss, she’s had her hands full.
Yet none of that compares to what she’s going through now.
You might not see it, but she’s falling to pieces,” Freyah spoke blankly, her own eye fixated on the darkness ahead.
“I wish I could tell you everything, but this is not my story to tell.”
Eldric looked to his right to meet her gaze, a particular word in her statement catching his attention. “Poverty, huh?”
She nodded.
Eldric’s thoughts traveled at the speed of lightning as he recalled Alissa’s promise of wealth and the ridiculous amount of riches she had offered him to take them to the capital.
Freyah couldn’t have known her friend had lied to him; she wasn’t there when Alissa made those false promises.
As far as Freyah knew, Eldric was helping them out of the goodness of his heart.
It hit him then that he would never see the fifty silver coins. But deep down, he knew the rage rising inside him wasn’t about the money. Money had never really mattered to him. It was about the lies, the deceit to make him do her bidding, when all he had done was remain loyal and keep his word.
His blood boiled in his veins. Her audacity turned his sorrow into anger, but Freyah was still completely unaware of his change in temperament.
She looked at him with a sympathetic eye. “I’m sure she will tell you everything when the time’s right. All I’m asking is for you to be patient.”
He nodded, completely lost for words.
“Please try not to hate her for this, okay?” she said, hopeful Eldric would be able to forgive Alissa. Little did she know that she had just accidentally given him more reasons to despise her friend.
Incapable of saying anything else, he picked up a few rocks that lay on the ground and threw them away, one at a time, remembering those times he threw rocks at the river when he was little, as if the tightness would leave his chest to follow the little pebbles he threw far away.
They both sat together in silence for a while longer, accompanied by the sound of rocks hitting the water and crickets singing under the full moon.