14. Benjamin
BENJAMIN
“They’re up there banging, right?” Kane asks.
I look over at my brother. “Yes.”
There’s no reason to sugarcoat it. I study him. “That’s a good thing. Dash is the perfect one to be with her first. He’s patient and calm, and she’s—”
“Can I be honest about something?” Kane cuts me off.
“Of course.”
We definitely need to talk this out, and I hope I can help Kane through it. I know he’s crazy about Abby, and I completely understand why. I feel the same way. But I don’t mind that Dash is upstairs with her right now.
In any other situation with any other woman, that would be different. But with her, this feels right.
We’re easing into this thing, and her happiness and comfort are absolutely priority number one.
And I love Dash too. He will not only take incredibly good care of her, but her letting him get close like that will make the big man feel special and chosen in a way that he deserves but doesn’t often get.
Abby’s sweet acceptance of him is as important to Dash as his comforting care of her is to her.
Both of those things matter to me.
“I just wish I could watch.”
I focus on Kane.
“What?”
He blows out a breath. “I know that sounds weird. I feel weird telling you that. But like, I’m not upset that they’re upstairs together. I just wish I could be there, too. What we did with her a little bit ago, here in the kitchen, that was the hottest experience ever.”
I believe him. And I love it. This is exactly where we all need to get to.
“I completely understand.”
His eyes brighten. “You feel the same way?”
“I’m glad that Dash is with her because I know he’s going to make it good for her. And I know being with her means a lot to him. I’m really loving knowing that all of these people I care about are taking care of each other. And yeah, for some reason watching it seems like it would be natural and…”
“Really fucking hot,” Kane fills in.
I huff out a breath. “Yeah.”
“We’ll get to that point, right?” Kane asks. “Like all of us together? That’s where this is going, don’t you think?”
That is a great question. Things seem to be going well so far, but it’s moving quickly. And there’s a hesitation that I sense in Abby.
I don’t think that we have completely bulldozed her. I think she’s very happy here with us. I don’t think she’s second-guessing coming home with us.
And yes, here in the kitchen, she definitely opened herself up to us. I don’t think Dash, Kane, or I expected things to go beyond kissing, and maybe getting her used to us touching her. She was definitely the one who wanted more.
But there still seems to be something she’s holding back.
“I—”
Just then, Dash and Abby walk into the kitchen, holding hands.
She has a shy but very happy smile on her face. She’s glowing. That’s the only way to describe it.
And Dash looks completely content. It’s a look I don’t see on him very often. But he looks like he is exactly where he is supposed to be.
Fuck, I love those looks on them.
“Well, I’m assuming there’s not a single inch that isn’t well scrubbed by now,” Kane says, immediately crossing to Abby and pulling her away from Dash and into his own arms.
Dash lets her go, almost as if understanding he’s had more than his share of time with her.
He is absolutely unapologetic, though when he smirks at Kane and says, “Every inch is also very well moisturized.”
There’s a bit of silence and then Kane snorts before gathering Abby close and burying his face in her neck. “God, I love this,” he says. He lifts his head. “Fuck, the four of us are amazing together.”
Abby giggles, the sound light and melodic and my heart feels like it’s expanding in my chest.
“So, Lollipop, you wanna cuddle up with me tonight in bed, or should we see if any of the beds are big enough for all four of us?” Kane asks.
“I mean, you can take turns. Dash and I will just stay here all week too, so it can be my bed tonight, then Benjamin’s tomorrow, and Dash the night after that.
” He lifts his head and shoots his best friend a grin.
“Since he already took a bath with you or whatever that was.” He turns back to Abby, rubbing his cheek against hers.
“We’re all happy to take turns. For now.
” He nuzzles her neck. “Tomorrow, when we all get home, we can grill out and make s’mores on the patio.
It’s gorgeous out there after dark. Maybe this weekend we can go on a hike.
Take Linda. Benjamin’s property is really beautiful, and there are lots of great spots. ”
Typical Kane going from sex to s’mores in a single run-on thought. He’s thinking out loud and getting far ahead of the current moment, which is not unusual, but he’s running his hand up and down Abby’s back, so I’m not sure how he misses the fact that she stiffens slightly.
She puts her hands on his chest and pulls back. “I’m…I don’t know…I’m actually going to my parents' this weekend. I’ll be staying with them until I can figure this apartment thing out.”
Kane frowns. “What apartment thing?”
“Where I’m going to live,” she tells him with a light laugh.
“It’s about an hour drive to my parents’ house, which is further than I would like to commute, but it’s free.
” She lifts her shoulder. “And safe and everything. And it’s the best I can do on short notice.
But I’ll start looking for a new place here soon.
We can revisit the grilling out and s’mores thing then, okay? ”
Kane shoots me a look that clearly says what the hell and then do something all in the same glance.
But a niggle of trepidation tugs at the back of my skull. It’s not obvious to her to stay here. To move in with us. To make this a permanent, ongoing situation.
I think that says a lot.
When I don’t speak up, Kane continues, “You’re obviously going to stay here,” he tells her. “You’ll move in with us.”
Abby pushes away from him, taking a step back. “Move in? What are you talking about?”
Kane looks from her to me, to Dash, then back to her. “We’re a couple now. Or a…thing. A foursome. Whatever. We’re all together now. And you need a place to stay, so you might as well just move in here now, right?”
Now Abby looks over at me as if for help.
But I’m not sure which one of them I want to help. My instinct is to do whatever Abby needs me to do. But what she wants is for me to explain to Kane that she needs to live separately from us, and there’s a huge part of me that rejects that notion.
“Obviously, you’re welcome here,” I tell her. “We would love to have you here with us long-term.”
She puts a hand to her chest and takes a deep breath, her eyes sliding shut. When she opens them, she looks from me to Kane, then over to Dash.
Dash gives her a small, reassuring smile, as if to say, “I’m here no matter what.”
“I appreciate that,” she finally tells me. “And being here with you guys has been great. But I am sorry if I’ve led you on or something.”
“You haven’t,” Dash says firmly. “Nothing that has happened has obligated you for anything. We don’t have any expectations based on what’s happened. We’re just glad you’re here.”
Kane’s frown deepens. “That’s not what I meant. Just because you’ve had sex with us doesn’t mean you have to stay here. But we want you to. For more than sex.”
She takes another deep breath. “This is going really fast.”
“It is,” I agree. “But we all feel the connection. Fast doesn’t mean bad.”
“I’m not looking for anything serious,” she says. “Especially with three people.”
I step forward, needing to touch her. I think it’s to reassure her, but when I reach out, and she takes my hand, linking our fingers, I realize that I’m the one who feels comforted.
“Do you think people will judge you? Are you worried about what people will think if you are in a relationship with three men?”
She thinks about that for a moment, which I appreciate, but then she shakes her head.
“No, it’s not that. I haven’t really thought about what other people will think.
The people who are important to me, like my friend Thomas and my best friend Sadie, are fully supportive.
And I actually think my parents will be too.
They always want me to just be happy. And they love when I do big bold things. ”
There’s something about the way she says that that makes me tug her closer. “Do you have trouble doing big bold things?” I ask gently.
She looks up at me, her bottom lip between her teeth. She studies my eyes for a long moment, then nods. “Yes. Very much. I’m a very… careful person.”
I squeeze her fingers. “Why is that? Did something happen?”
Something did. I can feel it. My stomach is in a knot waiting for her to tell us.
She doesn’t have to confide in us, of course, but I want it. Badly. I want her to trust us, and I need to know everything about this woman. And I want to fix it all. Whatever it is that makes her hesitant to get involved in this relationship, which clearly makes her happy, has to be dealt with.
And I swear to God, if a man hurt her at any point in the past, even if he was a fifteen-year-old pimply-faced nerd in high school, I will hunt him down.
“I had cancer.”
That answer is so far from what I was expecting that it takes me a moment to process it.
“What?” It’s Dash who is the first to speak.
Abby looks over at him and nods. “When I was a kid. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.”
Kane leans in closer to her, hugging her close. “Jesus. I’m so sorry, Lollipop. Are you okay now?”
“Yes. Fully in remission. It’s got a very high survival rate in young kids, and I’ve been okay for years.”
He lets out a breath. “Fuck. I’m so glad.”
“It’s why Stick It to Cancer is so important to me. And it’s how I met my best friend. Sadie went through cancer treatments at the same time I did. And I realize that I am very lucky to be alive, and most days, I approach the world and life with a fairly optimistic outlook.”
I tear my gaze from her face to look at Kane first.
He’s clearly in pain and trying to hide it.