25. Abby
ABBY
I don’t know how many times I have paced back and forth across my parents’ kitchen since Benjamin’s phone call, but by the time I hear their garage door going up, I want to sob with relief. I swear the two hours that have passed have felt like two years.
I realize that I asked to come and stay with no notice, and my mom did invite me to join them at their best friends’ home for dinner tonight, but I wasn’t in the mood for socializing, so I declined and planned to eat something healthy, read a book, and just enjoy some alone time.
Instead, I’d eaten ice cream straight from the carton while watching a rom-com, and realized that sitting on a couch, eating ice cream, and watching someone else fall in love—even fictionally—really sucks compared to cuddling on a couch, eating ice cream, and actually living the rom-com that has become my real life.
Watching TV and eating ice cream alone has now been ruined forever because I fell in love.
I’d thought about how much I should ask for my couch when I sold it online and what I would eat instead of ice cream for the rest of my life.
And then I’d realized I was being stupid.
Really, really stupid.
Why would I give up sitting on couches and eating ice cream with the three best men I’ve ever known? Three men who have become some of my best friends as well as my lovers and three people who love and support and want me no matter what?
I’m not sick now.
I might never get sick again.
Or I might.
But if I do, where do I want to be? Who do I want to be with? Who do I trust to be there with me, for me, taking care of me, loving me?
Kane, Dash, and Benjamin. No question.
Would it be hard on them?
Of course.
But they would want to be there with me. And they’d have each other to help them through it.
So I’d been putting my ice cream away and getting ready to call them when Benjamin had called me.
And now I’ve been sitting here—well, pacing here—alone for two hours when all I want is to be with them.
It’s my own fault. I know that. I didn’t have to run away. I didn’t have to leave. I could have been right there with them, through it all, like I should have been.
And now I know.
I want to be with Kane, Dash, and Benjamin no matter what. Even when things are bad and painful and scary.
Especially then.
And now I have to get there.
I didn’t call my dad and beg him to come home to drive me to Willow Bay. That felt dramatic. It felt like an overreaction. Benjamin said that Kane is fine and I trust him.
But the second my parents step into the kitchen, laughing about something, I open my mouth to speak…and burst into tears.
I love them so much. I don’t know what I would have done without them. They loved me through something most kids and families don’t have to go through and something no one should have to go through.
We are closer because of my cancer. We are a stronger unit because of it.
Yes, things fractured with my sister. We haven’t spoken in years. Cancer didn’t just almost take my life. It took my relationship with my sister. And we all have regrets about that. I know Emily does, too, but she chose not to work on repairing things with us after I got better.
But I realize since meeting Benjamin, Dash, and Kane, that even after the illness, the mistakes, the pain, and the fear, there is hope and a chance for a new start.
Once Kane is back on his feet, I’m going to call my sister and try again.
It’s up to her if she accepts my olive branch, but I’m going to extend it.
Then, if she doesn’t want to fix things between us, I can be at peace with that.
“Abby!” My mom is next to me, wrapping her arms around me in a second. “What happened? What’s going on?”
“Abigail?” My dad is there too, his arms squeezing me. “What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath, trying to make this make sense, but what comes out of my mouth is, “I have to go back to Willow Bay, right now. Will you please drive me? Now. Kane’s hurt.
I have to be there. Benjamin and Dash are there and I know they’re handling it, but I just really want to be with them.
And I think they want me to be there too.
We’re just all so much better together. And even though there’s nothing we can really do for Kane—the doctors are probably good, I don’t know.
No, they are. Benjamin would be sure. He would make them do everything.
But I think all of us being there together will make him feel better.
And we’re just so good together. The four of us belong together.
Even if we were just there holding each other and telling each other that we love each other. ”
It’s just one big, long ramble. All of the words tumble out in just a few seconds, and both of my parents just stand there, watching me.
But also listening.
This morning at breakfast I told them about my three boyfriends.
All they said was they were so glad that I found people who realized how special and amazing I am to love me.
“How did he get hurt?” my mom finally asks when she’s sure I’m done.
She steps back and starts re-wrapping her scarf around her neck.
My dad picks his keys up off of the counter where he had just put them down.
“In the game. A concussion. He’s in the hospital.”
My mom takes my jacket from the back of one of the chairs and holds it up for me. My dad notices my suitcase, sitting next to the table, and grabs it.
“What did Benjamin say?” Mom asks, her voice calm.
I let her help me into my jacket as I take a deep breath. “He says he’s okay. They are going to let him go home tonight as long as someone is there to check on him regularly.”
My mom turns me toward the door leading to the garage. She opens it and nudges me through it.
“Well obviously, that won’t be a problem,” my dad says.
“Right. Benjamin and Dash will obviously be there. They don’t really need me but—”
“Of course they need you,” my mom says. She opens the back door of their small SUV and puts me inside. “Seatbelt,” she says before shutting the door.
My dad loads my suitcase into the back, and then they both get in.
As we back out and turn onto the street, I realize that’s it. All I had to say was that I needed to go back to the guys. My parents are asking appropriate questions, but they’re not arguing or trying to talk me out of it.
That further confirms that that’s where I need to be.
“I was scared to get too involved with them,” I say. “I was worried that I was bringing my illness and a potential relapse into their lives. I was thinking about how hard that would be. What I would be putting them through.”
My mom turns in her seat. “That’s a responsible thing to think about when you’re getting serious with someone,” she tells me. “And it would be really hard for them.”
Again, she doesn’t sugarcoat the truth.
“And now you’re realizing how it feels when someone you love is hurt and physically in need,” my dad says.
I nod. “It’s scary. And it makes my heart hurt.
” My hand rubs over my chest, where my heart is still beating too fast thinking about Kane being hurt and in pain.
“But it makes me want to be there even more. It makes me want to do whatever I can to make it easier and better for him. I would never want to be anywhere else.”
My mom reaches back and squeezes my knee. “Exactly. Loving someone means wanting all of them. The happy healthy parts, and the sad, scared, sick parts.” She looks over at my dad and then reaches and squeezes his arm too. “And the frustrating, annoying parts.”
He gives her a grin.
I love my parents so much.
“I’m not scared of loving the guys,” I say, wanting to say it out loud and needing my parents to know. “But I’m definitely scared of not being with them. The idea of missing something—even if it’s sitting in the hospital waiting room with two of them—makes my heart hurt.”
“You really are officially in love,” my dad says.
My mom turns and beams at me. “I am so thrilled. I can’t wait to get to know them.”
I take a deep breath and sit back in the seat, feeling contentment slide through me.
I trust Benjamin when he says that Kane is going to be fine. But even if it were more precarious, I know that once I am with them, we’ll all be so much better.
“Abby?” My dad asks. “What do your guys drive?”
I frown. “Benjamin drives a big black SUV. That’s usually what they ride in when they’re together.”
“Yeah, I thought so.” My dad signals and starts to pull over on the side of the road.
“What’s going on?”
Then I hear the honking and realize that the black SUV that passed us on the other side of the highway flipped around and is now pulling up behind us.
“Do you happen to know those guys?” my dad asks, clearly amused as Benjamin and Dash bail out of the SUV.
My heart flips over in my chest, and I feel tears stinging at the backs of my eyes. It occurs to me that maybe I should be concerned.
What are they doing here? Why aren’t they with Kane? Did something worse happen? Did they try to call me and I missed it?
But even as all of those questions trip through my mind, I know the answer.
They’re here to get me.
They’re here because they couldn’t wait for me to figure out a way to come to them. They’re here because they also realized that I need to be with them.
They’re here because they love me.
I give a choked laugh because I also want to cry. “Yes. I know them.”
I reach for the door handle, but Dash is already yanking the door open.
“Abby,” he breathes the moment he sees me.
“Hi,” I say simply.
He reaches in and unhooks my seatbelt, then scoops me out of the seat and hugs me against his chest, burning his face in my hair.
“We couldn’t wait,” he says.
I wrap my arms around his neck and laugh. “I noticed.”
“Are you mad?”
“I am thrilled to see you. I was on my way home.”
He lifts his head, his gaze burning into mine. “Home.”
I nod. “Home. To you.”
He takes a deep breath that makes his entire body shudder. Then he seals his mouth over mine in a deep kiss.
“Hello, Mr. Johnson.” I hear Benjamin say, amusement in his voice. “I’m Benjamin Clark, Abby’s boyfriend.”
Well, thank goodness I filled my parents in last night. Otherwise, it might be odd for them to hear a man introduce himself as my boyfriend while another man is kissing me as if he hasn’t seen me in years.
Dash hears all of that as well and lifts his head, grinning down at me sheepishly before looking to the right where both of my parents and Benjamin are now standing next to the SUV, watching us.
“Hi. I’m Dash Donovan.”
My dad nods. “Her other boyfriend,” he says.
“One of them,” Dash confirms.
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you both,” my mom says. She nudges my dad toward the back of the SUV. “But we’ll have to talk and get to know each other another time. I know you all need to get back to Kane.”
My heart expands in my chest so suddenly that I suck in a little breath.
My parents are great. They truly love me so much and are so glad for the life that I have. They really do just want me to be happy and loved.
And however I choose to live the life that I have, and however I embrace my happiness, they’re going to support me.
“We’d love to have you come to the house for dinner. You can see where I’m going to be living. And get to know the guys better,” I say.
Benjamin's gaze snaps to mine in the midst of taking my suitcase from my father.
I can see the question in his eyes. Does this mean I’m moving in with them? Inviting my parents to “our” house sounds that way.
I nod at him.
Wherever they are is where I’m supposed to be.
They are home for me.
He takes the suitcase and strides straight toward me. He cups my face and says, “I’m never letting you go. No matter what, Abby.”
I smile up at him. “Good.”
He kisses me, though it is much shorter and more chaste than I know either of us would like.
Still, my parents are looking on.
“Get going,” my mother says, sounding a little choked up. “Even if Kane is fine, I’m sure he wants the three of you there with him.”
“He definitely does,” Dash says, taking my hand. “He especially wants to see you.”
And I need to see him. “We’ll talk soon,” I say to my parents. “I love you so much.”
“We love you too,” my mom says, her smile bright and genuine.
“Take care of our girl,” my dad says to the guys.
“She will never want for anything,” Benjamin promises.
“We love her so, so much,” Dash says.
“Well, of course you do,” my mother says, smiling at me. “She’s extraordinary.”
And with my heart full and my eyes a little watery, I am bundled into one boyfriend’s SUV and cuddled up in the backseat with another boyfriend as we head home to see my other boyfriend, knowing everything is now, finally, completely going to be okay.