Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
DARE
My eyes seem to have a magnet that pulls them constantly to the clock on the dashboard.
I huff out a breath.
Sitting in my car, I’m just waiting for my phone alarm to go off already.
Soon, it’ll be time to go for my shift with Isla, and I’m so ready I can’t stand it. Every minute feels like an hour.
Being away from her, even for twenty-four hours, is torture, and I know that’s a problem.
Might as well admit it to myself, anyway. I’m in love with her. For a while, I thought it was just infatuation, maybe even limerence, but the more I get to know her, the more I see the truth for what it is.
I wish someone had told me how insane I’d feel when I finally fell in love. I never thought I would. I thought I’d be a lifelong bachelor, living the high life with a different woman on my arm every week.
That was my life BI, Before Isla. I’ve never even had a steady girlfriend, except for a brief couple of months in college before I dropped out.
Even then, we mostly just met at night for booty calls and barely spoke.
It’s not that I don’t believe in love. I do, even though I’m not sure I’ve ever personally seen it. It’s not like my parents were in love, far from it.
But God, love hurts. It aches all over my body.
I long for her, yearn to see her, talk to her, see her smile.
The ding of the alarm startles me.
I start the car and rev the engine, loving how loud it is. This has a V-8 engine, after all, a muscle car I rebuilt myself. I’m hoping to take Isla on a ride, show her how I can open it up on the highway.
I grin just thinking about it. The two of us, windows down, bass booming, the wind in her dark hair.
I haul ass to Liam and Cillian’s childhood home, excited to see Isla and knowing that Cillian will be waiting on the couch, probably staring into space.
I pull into the driveway, parking the car.
Cillian’s car is parked in the garage, the door open.
I bound up the steps, unlocking the door and listening for Isla, hoping she’s awake even though it’s the crack of dawn.
I can’t help but be excited.
Now that we know Isla Quinn isn’t at all connected to Maggie, and Maggie’s gone, it’s like we have a new lease on the relationship.
Things can be different. She doesn’t have to be our prisoner anymore. She doesn’t want to leave, anyway, not anymore. I can tell, even though she won’t say it.
And though we haven’t said the words yet, she loves me, too. I just know it. She’s going to choose me, and we’re going to be so happy together.
I can’t wait.
I frown when Cillian isn’t on the couch, but he’s probably making coffee or something. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Cillian isn’t who I’m here to see.
I hurry to Isla’s room, and the door is unlocked. I guess Cillian trusts her now, too.
That might be a problem later, honestly.
Cillian has feelings for Isla. He hasn’t admitted it to me or Liam yet, but it’s written all over his usually stoic face when he looks at her. His eyes go all soft, and it makes my throat feel tight.
He can’t have her. She’s mine. I saw her first. I claimed her first.
That might be a stupid, caveman way to think, but I can’t help it. I’m crazy about her, and I can’t wait to tell her.
I open the door and step inside, a greeting dying in my throat when I take in the scene before me.
Cillian and Isla are lying on the bed, naked, Cillian’s arms around her.
She’s practically on top of him, her leg swung around his hip… just like she does with me.
Jealousy and hurt nearly gut me, my stomach hurting so bad I put a hand on it.
She can’t have chosen him. I know she loves me. I’ve felt it in the way her body melts against mine.
And yet, here Cillian is, taking what is mine.
I want to scream. I want to grab Cillian and pull him out of bed, let him fall on his ass while I pummel him. And yes, Cillian would beat me in a physical fight; despite my hand-to-hand combat skills, he’s trained his whole life to be the muscle for Ronan, but for her, I’m willing to pay any price.
And I’m no slack when it comes to defending myself. Even more so when it comes to Isla. She is my everything, and I refuse to let her be used any longer. She is no pet, and it’s time both Cillian and Liam learn that.
She. Is. Mine.
But if I go at it with him, Isla will be upset.
Fuck me!
Even though I’m fucked up about this, I can’t do it. I’d slit my own throat before I’d hurt her.
So instead, I just slam my fist against the doorjamb, my knuckles splitting open. The wood doesn’t even splinter, and the physical pain does nothing to alleviate the agony I’m living right now.
Isla stirs, but I can’t look at her right now, can’t look at the way Cillian whines and clutches at her as if he doesn’t want her to go.
I turn tail and speed-walk into the kitchen, breathing hard, bracing myself on the sink, looking down at the blood trickling down my fingers from my split knuckles.
I don’t know how long I stand there.
My knuckles sting and my heart hurts and I can’t think.
She’s not Maggie Sullivan, but she’s still sleeping with my best friend. And maybe my other best friend. I don’t know what she and Liam get up to when he’s watching her, and I don’t want to know.
I squeeze my eyes shut, but I’m still haunted by the image of Cillian and Isla cuddling up, dead to the world, like they were meant to be together.
My chest feels tight.
Does she want him more than she wants me?
Isla’s yawn makes me look toward the door, and then I look away again immediately, her puffy eyes and sex-tousled hair making my chest hurt worse.
She’s dressed, at least, wearing a pair of high-waisted shorts I bought her and a tank top.
“You’re early.” Her words float to me like she’s far away.
I’m losing my mind, and she’s acting like nothing’s wrong.
I grunt, and Isla slowly walks up to me.
She puts a hand on my arm, and I wrench away without even thinking about it, turning to face her.
My anger, my hurt, the betrayal must be written all over my face because her eyes widen, the flecks of green in them seeming bright in the morning sun coming through the window.
Fuck, she’s so beautiful it hurts to look at her, especially now.
“Are you choosing him? Is that what this is?” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.
She frowns. “Choosing him? What are you talking about, Dare?”
“Cillian.” His name is like poison in my mouth.
The front door opens and closes, and I guess Cillian has made his exit.
Coward.
No. That’s not fair. I know Cill isn’t a coward, know he’s a good man, but right now, I want to tear his head off his stupid broad shoulders.
Isla frowns wider. “I’m not choosing anyone. There’s no choice to be made.”
I scoff. “Of course there is. What, you think you can just play all of us forever?”
She looks startled at my words, almost hurt, and my heart drops. Even though I’m angry at her, I don’t want to upset her.
“I’m not playing anyone,” she says softly, tears welling in her eyes, and I feel like the world’s biggest asshole but my brain is on fire, and I can’t stop.
“Aye? Well then, what is this, a ghrá?”
“You kidnapped me, you threatened me, forced me to become your ‘pet’. When did I ever have a choice, huh? When did I ever have a say in any of this?” She fists her hands on either side of her.
“I didn’t. That was Liam’s bullshite.”
I want you to myself.
“But you went along for the ride. You could have let me go, could have spoken up against it. Did you? When he said I’d either become your pet or die, did you say anything?
Did you? I don’t think so. And now, we’ve all been hooking up for weeks, and you still haven’t said word one about not liking it. ”
That’s because I do like it. It’s hot, watching her get railed by Cillian or having Liam order her around, but at the same time, when it comes down to it, I want her all for me. Especially after seeing her and Cillian cuddle like that.
Cillian is dead on the inside. He’s cold, heartless, soulless. He’s a fucking monster when he wants to be, and I never imagined I’d catch them cuddling, of all things.
It would have been better if I’d walked in on her blowing him or something. Would have hurt less. At least it would have made some kind of sense. But this?
Cillian’s relaxed face, the way he was sleeping soundly, not even concerned... It freaks me out, and it means he’s developed feelings for her way beyond my imagination.
“Well, tell me how this is my fault. Tell me about how I choose anything. Go ahead. Be mad at me all you want.”
“Mad? I’m not mad, I’m just...”
“Jealous?” She huffs out a breath.
“So fucking jealous.” I let out a long sigh. “I want it to be me, Isla. I want you to want me like that.”
Her face softens, and she takes a step toward me, her hands relaxing. “I do want you, Dare. I would’ve thought that was pretty obvious.”
“Aye? Because the way you were cuddled up to Cill—”
She laughs, and I glare at her.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
She shakes her head. “I’m not making fun of you, Dare. I just... it’s funny how this all turned out. How you guys kidnapped me, but now...” She takes a breath, and it’s shaky. “Cuddling with Cill doesn’t mean I want you any less.”
“I saw you first.” It’s petulant and childish, and I know it, but it’s true. I did see her first.
She smiles a little. “You called dibs?”
“Not like that.” I huff. “It’s just… I want you to myself, a ghrá. Ever since the moment I saw you—”
She closes the gap between us and puts her hand on the waistband of my sweats.
“Dare. Stop talking.” She gets on her knees, and I look down at her, flabbergasted.
She can’t possibly be—
Without another word, Isla tugs down my sweats, and it’s almost embarrassing how fast I harden, just looking down into her eyes, seeing her looking up at me all innocent like my cock isn’t out.
Her small fingers wrap around me, and a low moan comes from my throat.
“I want you, Dare. I always have, since the moment we met.”