Three Irish Kings

Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

ISLA

“So, what now?” Cillian asks. “What are the next steps?”

Liam runs a hand through his hair, pacing around the room.

I just stare at them, feeling like I’ve swallowed rocks. I’ve never felt more conflicted in my life. On the one hand, I’m overjoyed that they know I am who I say I am, but can I really celebrate a woman’s murder?

I can’t stop picturing a woman who looks vaguely like me on one of those morgue shelves, her eyes open, unseeing.

Are they the same color as mine?

A shiver runs through me, and Cillian frowns, placing a hand on my arm.

“Are you okay?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I might burst into tears.

“Bathroom.” I rush to the one in my room, gasping as the tears start to come.

It’s not just Maggie. It’s everything. They don’t have to keep me here anymore. They could let me go. But God, I don’t want to.

Everything’s changed.

My career, life outside of this house, seems so far away, like a story I know by heart but no longer belongs to me.

Liam’s father sounds like someone I wouldn’t want to cross.

He is an evil man who appears to have no morals.

But Liam does; despite all his bluster, he is nothing like his father.

He might put on a sour face and be mean to me, or at least not sweet, but this is Liam. There is nothing sweet about him.

And yet, he loves poetry and literature, reads to me when I’m upset, his hand on the top of my head. Sometimes after sex, he kisses along my jawline, presses his lips to my temple, and it makes my heart ache every time.

Dare loves to tell me all about his favorite video games, and I lay in his lap on the couch while he plays them, loving the way he whoops and hollers when he wins. His slow, easy grin, the way his eyes crinkle up when he laughs.

And Cillian… Sweet, stoic Cillian who listens to me babble about any and everything with a half-smile on his face, his soulful eyes so light, almost transparent, which I used to think were cold, but now they’re so warm when he looks at me.

They’re not who I thought they were when they took me. They may be criminals, but they’re human too. They’re men and... and... I think I’ve fallen. For all of them.

How is that even possible? I’ve never considered anything like this, have always been a one-man kind of gal, but I never thought I’d meet three men who get me the way all of them do.

They are so different from each other, yet each one calls to a different part of me. It’s like this is meant to be.

And now I’m devastated that I ruined it all by getting pregnant. Because it’s not like I can raise a baby with three men who are in the Irish mafia. It’s too dangerous. And I could never be happy with just one of them, not after being with all three for this long.

Yes, it started with Liam’s crazy demand, but it feels like so much more now.

Plus, none of them have ever mentioned wanting kids, and I have no idea who the father is. It could be any of them.

Given they all seem to be the jealous type, despite our group sex, I can’t imagine any of them will be happy about the pregnancy. It’s not like we can all be one big happy family. That’s just a delusion I’ve been living under, so it’s time to burst this bubble and get a reality check.

I take a deep breath, staring at myself in the mirror. I’m pale, and I look like death.

My stomach rolls, and I barely make it to the toilet before the few saltine crackers I had come up.

What the hell am I going to do?

Calm down. You don’t even know if you’re pregnant yet. Maybe it’s just a virus.

I stare at the drugstore bag before reaching for it and opening it with shaking hands.

The pregnancy test feels so heavy in my hand, like it carries the weight of the world. My world.

After I’m done following the instructions, I place it carefully on the back of the toilet.

Liam and Cillian are still talking in the living room, probably trying to figure out a game plan on what to do with me. Maybe they’ll kill me, and I won’t have to deal with any of this. It’s a dark thought, but I can’t help it.

I rub my hands over my face, pacing around the large bathroom while I wait.

When my phone timer goes off after five minutes, I slowly pick up the stick and look at the results.

I clap my hand over my mouth and drop the stick, and it crashes to the floor, rattling around.

Tears spurt from my eyes, and I keep my mouth covered so Cillian and Liam can’t hear me. It feels like the world is ending, and the sobs coming from me shake my whole body.

Someone knocks on the door, but I can’t speak; I can’t move, so I kick the pregnancy test behind the toilet.

When I don’t respond, the door opens, and I take in a shaky, wet breath as Cillian rushes to me.

He looks at me for only a second before drawing me into his arms, pulling me close against his broad chest.

“Mo chuisle.” His hands rub up my back, comforting me.

Cillian doesn’t ask me what’s wrong. He doesn’t push me. He just holds me until my sobs finally start to abate.

I’m still trembling in his arms, but at least the tears aren’t choking my throat.

I press my face into his chest, wetting his shirt and sniffling.

Finally, I pull away, looking up at him.

Cillian’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he searches my face. “Are you okay?”

I shake my head. I can’t tell him the truth, can’t lose him just yet. Can’t lose the others either.

“It’s just...she’s dead. I feel like it’s my fault somehow. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

He frowns. “How can it be your fault? Besides, she made her own choices, mo chuisle.”

“Does that mean she deserved to die?”

Cillian’s brows furrow deeper. “I don’t know.”

He’s honest. God, he’s so honest and sweet, and I know now I’m in love with him and his two best friends.

Tears well in my eyes again.

He looks down at the ground. “I don’t know a lot of things. But I do know I’m glad it’s not you on that slab.”

My throat is clogged, and my voice will break and tremble if I speak, so I just look up at him. I caress his face, and he looks down at me, his eyes dark and unreadable. I don’t expect him to continue, but he does.

“I’m sorry, mo chuisle. I should have trusted you from the start.

It’s just....” He sighs. “I don’t trust easily.

Life has not been kind to me, and until Liam found me, I had no one.

Liam and Ronan took me in, treated me like a human being.

I owe them everything. Ronan needed a weapon, so I became the most lethal one, and my loyalty to the men I consider my family never wavered.

Liam is my brother, Ronan is a father to me.

Until you came along, I never had a reason to question them… ”

I nod.

Cillian takes a large breath. “It’s…hard for me.”

He’s so hesitant that it hurts my heart, and I spread my hands across his chest to offer him some comfort.

“What’s hard for you?”

He gestures to me. “You. This. I’m…new to this.”

I can’t help but smile a little. “Don’t tell me you were a virgin.”

He barks out a laugh. “Nothing like that. It’s just… the way I feel about you, Isla…”

Oh, no. Please don’t.

If Cillian tells me he feels something for me, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let him go.

I clutch at his shirt. “Kiss me.”

He startles, those pools of light green widening, but he leans down, brushing his lips against mine softly, sweetly.

I wrap my arms around his thick neck, leaning up to deepen the kiss.

A low growl escapes the back of his throat, and he puts his hands on my ass.

He keeps kissing me as he picks me up and takes me to the bed.

I need this. Need to be with him one last time, because…

Tears spring to my eyes again, but I blink them away as Cillian puts me gently on the bed, not tossing me playfully like Dare does.

Cillian touches me like I’m something special, something precious, and my heart shatters further with each touch.

He kisses down my throat, between my breasts, before tugging off my dress impatiently.

I raise my hips and then my arms to help him, and he gives me a slow, half-smile. That smile that makes my heart skip.

I want him so badly it aches in my chest and in my belly, and when he dips down to my stomach, slipping his tongue into my belly button, I put my hand on the back of his head, and he looks up, confusion on his face.

“I don’t need it. Just want you inside me, Cill, right now, please.”

He hums, getting up on his knees to spread my thighs and look down at my pussy, hunger in the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

“All right, mo chuisle, but next time, I want to taste you.”

There won’t be a next time.

I swallow hard.

It hurts. It hurts in my throat and my chest, and I just want it to stop, and maybe if Cillian is inside me, it will.

I put my hands on his waistband, fumbling with the button, and he chuckles and puts his hands over mine. “Patience. We have time.”

Oh God, I wish we did.

But forever wouldn’t be long enough, and the clock is already ticking to when we’ll be apart.

I want to know them. I want to know what they were like as kids, want to know their favorite foods and what they believe. But there’s no possibility that can ever happen, for so many reasons.

I focus on Cillian, knowing that if I keep going down that road, I’ll start crying again.

Cillian pulls off his t-shirt with one hand and then unbuttons his jeans, shucking them down over his tight ass and freeing his erection.

I moan, wrapping my legs around his waist.

Surprised, he jolts forward, catching himself on his palms on either side of my head.

He groans and chuckles at the same time. “Mo chuisle, you’re an eager one tonight, aren’t you?”

“Aye, I am. All for you. Make love to me, Cill.”

Cillian’s eyes seem impossibly light. It’s like looking into a pool of the most vibrant, transparent green.

“Don’t say that. Don’t say that if you don’t mean it, Isla—”

I cut him off with a fiery kiss, reaching between us to wrap my hand around his base.

He moans into my mouth, and his hips jut forward, thrusting into my hand.

I guide him into me, and he hitches in a breath, pulling away from my mouth.

He slides into me easily; I’ve been wet since I first kissed him.

It doesn’t take much with these men. I’m like a dog in heat, especially lately.

As my feelings grow, so does my arousal, and I’m feeling a lot of things right now.

“So wet and tight,” he grunts, thrusting into me slowly. “You feel so good, mo chuisle. So right.”

I roll my hips up to meet his thrusts, gasping and squeezing my eyes shut, trying to focus on my impending orgasm, hiding from all the complicated emotions swirling in my head.

But Cillian stills and grabs my chin.

“Eyes on me. Keep them open, Isla. Want you to know who’s claiming you.”

I pop my eyes open, arousal shooting through me, putting me right at the edge.

My pussy literally aches, wanting more, wanting him to thrust harder, to make it hurt.

I need to get punished, need to learn my lesson.

I writhe beneath him and pout. “Cill, please. Please please please—”

“What did we say about using your words?” His voice is low and dangerous, but he’s got a half-smile on his face. The duality of Cillian makes my head spin sometimes.

“Fuck me,” I breathe.

“Thought you wanted me to make love to you.” He grins wider, and frustration washes over me, but it’s also inexplicably hot, the way he’s teasing me.

I dig my nails into his shoulders, rocking my hips. “Cillian. I need… I need…”

“Poor baby.” But he doesn’t look remorseful at all. He’s enjoying this, having me beg for him.

Leaning down to kiss me again, he slowly starts to move, long, slow strokes that build my orgasm at a snail’s pace.

He sucks my tongue into his mouth, and I moan, muffled by the kiss.

My breath starts to hitch as he keeps fucking me at a steady pace.

“Oh, God…”

Trembling, I try to force him to increase the pace.

“I’m so close…”

“Don’t you dare come yet.” He slows down, collapsing on top of me, cupping my face in his hands. “I’ll make it worth your while, mo chuisle.”

I want to be a good girl for him so bad, but the coil is so tight inside me.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes, but Cillian stops again.

Groaning, I open my eyes.

“There you are. What did I say about your eyes?” He thrusts once, hard, inside me.

I gasp. “To keep them on you.”

“Think you can do what I asked, or should I stop?”

He is frozen inside me, his eyes shining with mischief.

“I’m sorry, I’ll behave.”

“Good.” He starts again, keeping the previous pace.

I haven’t come down, yet, so as soon as he starts thrusting, my body starts quaking with the need to come.

“Please, please, please, please.” It’s a prayer, a mantra, all that is keeping me tethered to the here and now.

“Just a little bit longer…” His voice is rough and hoarse, and he’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the entire world.

He groans low in his chest, and starts pulsing inside me, impossibly hard.

“Oh, God. Please, Cillian…" I gasp.

“Come.”

My orgasm hits me like a freight train, making me cry out his name and scratch my nails down his back, leaving red lines.

“Isla,” he moans as he spills inside me, catching my mouth in a passionate kiss that makes my chest ache.

As I come down, breathing hard, a sweaty sheen across my skin, he kisses along my collarbone and then my chin and my mouth, smiling widely. I rarely ever see Cillian smile like that, and it makes me want to burst into tears all over again.

My eyes prickle.

“What’s wrong, mo chuisle?” His grin turns into a frown, and he cups my face again, making me look at him.

His face swims, my vision blurring with tears.

I have to leave him. I have to leave Dare and Liam, too, and God knows I don’t want to. But I can’t say that.

“I don’t know, just the endorphins, I guess, and all the drama with Maggie.”

I don’t have a choice. I can’t raise a baby with three possessive, morally gray men. This isn’t a fairy tale, and I’d die before I could choose between them, or force them to choose who gets to keep me. Either option would kill me and break their bond.

And I can’t live with either of those options.

Cillian hums, slowly pulling out of me and I feel empty, a void in my stomach.

He settles next to me, pulling me on top of him, and I rest my head on his chest.

I’m exhausted, mind, body, and soul.

“Just rest, mo chuisle. Everything will be all right, aye?”

His Irish lilt is soothing and sweet, and it’s not long before my eyelids start to drift closed.

But my mind won’t shut up until sleep takes me.

All I can hope is that I’ll get to have some alone time with each of them before I leave, because I will leave. Soon.

But it’ll break my heart to do it.