Chapter Ten
My sweaty palm grips the bathroom counter as I steady myself, feeling the familiar ache of the scars on my right hand with each deliberate stroke.
I take my time, glancing down at the image on my phone from the bar footage.
Although the quality isn’t perfect, it’s just enough to fuel my desperation.
My eyelids flutter as I focus on the sight of her, zoomed in where she’s sitting gracefully at the bar.
I can’t help but notice the way she bites her bottom lip, a playful grin lingering on her face, her green eyes sparkling with curiosity.
I savor the way her bangs frame her arched brows, brushing softly against her long lashes.
I grip my dick harder, picking up my movements.
My mouth falls open as my eyes squeeze shut.
I picture her sitting at the bar facing me as I approach her.
She has that playful look in her eyes. Once I’m standing in front of her, I grab her thighs, spreading them wide as I move between her legs.
The blue dress she’s in rides up her smooth thighs, revealing thin, lace panties.
I imagine my large hands gripping her petite face while my thumbs graze across the faded freckles along her cheeks.
I gently wrap my left hand around her neck, feeling how small it is beneath my grip.
Her pulse quickens under my palm, not from fear, but from excitement.
Desire. I lean in closer, guiding her back against the bar.
Her pink-tinted lips part slightly as her green eyes lock onto mine.
I slide my hand away from her neck, slowly tracing down between her breasts where her nipples tent the delicate fabric of her dress.
Taking my right hand, I glide it up her thigh, revealing more of her enticing form.
I gaze at the white lace panties between her legs.
Sliding my fingers up, I run my thumb over the fabric where her center aches for me.
A helpless moan leaves her mouth, the sound causing me to bite down hard on my bottom lip.
I eagerly pull my hand back, rubbing my thumb along the tips of my fingers, feeling the warm wetness that clings to them, letting me know just how much she needs my touch.
She watches me intently as I bring my thumb up, grazing it along my tongue.
Her delicious scent clings to my taste buds.
A rush of pressure surges through my stomach, drawing me closer to a state of pure ecstasy.
I lock eyes with Raina, her gaze urging me to touch her once more.
I kneel before her, gently resting her legs on my shoulders.
She steadies herself, gripping the sides of the bar chair.
I let my fingers glide around the lace trim, pulling it aside to reveal her center.
A deep groan escapes my lips, the craving to taste her intensifying rapidly.
I move closer, wrapping my arm around her thigh and gripping it with my hand.
Keeping her panties tugged to the side, I hesitate no longer, running my tongue along her sensitive spot.
A desperate gasp leaves her. I grip her tighter, slowly circling her throbbing clit with my tongue.
She breathes out my name. So much want, so much need behind each letter.
And the way my name sounds on her tongue causes my dick to grow harder.
I continue caressing her with my mouth, taking notes of the way her body reacts to my touch.
I can feel my release inching closer, growing stronger.
I move my hand down her thigh, pressing my thumb right above where she aches for me.
I make small, sensual circles that match the rhythm of my tongue.
Raina’s hands instantly find their way into my hair, gripping and tugging.
I growl into her center, bringing my eyes up to meet hers.
I study her as I bring her to her undoing.
She watches me closely, her eyes finding mine.
Her lashes flutter with each pleasurable plunge of my tongue.
Our moans mix, sounding so appetizing together.
I can’t hold off any longer—my eyes fly open as I come back to reality.
I reposition my grip on the counter, bringing my gaze back to her image on my phone.
I stroke and tug, imagining Raina’s undoing.
In seconds, my head falls forward as my cum shoots into the sink.
My heart pounds against my chest as I regain my full vision.
I grab a tissue from the counter, wiping the tip of my dick off before tucking it back into my briefs.
I annoyingly shift my eyes to the mess I left in the sink.
Slightly ashamed of myself, I turn the faucet on high and watch the evidence wash down the drain.
I look up in the mirror at myself, watching as sweat droplets trail down the side of my face.
This isn’t one of my proudest moments. It’s been months since I’ve had any form of sexual encounters with a woman, and since these last few weeks, I haven’t been able to get this girl off my damned mind.
It doesn’t help that my dick has a mind of its own.
I tried to think of anyone else but her.
I tried to picture myself touching another woman, but my dick rejected it, until her.
Hopefully, now that I’ve satisfied it, I can move on and add it to my collection of failures.
I turn to the side and lift my arm to take a look at my recent, self-inflicted wounds.
They’ve healed well enough that I no longer need bandages, at least for now.
As I take a moment to focus on myself, I notice the dark circles under my eyes, a telltale sign of the little sleep I’ve managed to get.
Last night’s dreams were relentless, the same as always, but this time there was a new face—Raina’s.
It scared the hell out of me. I needed to clear my head somehow.
I considered burning myself, but held back since I’m meeting the twins at the lake this afternoon.
So, I had to find a different way to cope this time.
I turn the faucet on, letting the ice-cold water fill my palms. I lean down, cupping the water and splashing it on my face.
Its coldness washes away some of the tiredness from my eyes, but it doesn’t take away the mental exhaustion I feel, which isn’t anything new in my life.
I quickly grab the towel hanging over the shower door and pat my face dry.
I let a deep sigh leave my restless body before I exit the bathroom and prepare for the day.
After getting to town, I filled up my bike’s tank.
I still have about an hour to kill before meeting the twins at the lake.
I now sit in the small parking lot directly across from Raina’s apartment.
I know damn well I shouldn’t be here, but here I fucking am.
It’s not like I drove out of the way; I had to pass through town, regardless.
But I haven’t quite figured out why I’m sitting here staring directly at Raina’s room. Very stalk-ish of you, Ezra.
I slide my bike helmet up to my brow and let it rest there as I dig into my jeans pocket for my cigarettes.
I pull one out, tuck it between my lips, and light it with my Zippo.
I inhale the smoke, feeling it wrap around my lungs deliciously.
I exhale a large cloud while my eyes stay trained on Raina’s room.
I can’t help but wonder whether she’s home or at work.
I haven’t thought about driving by the local vet’s office where she works.
I know she owns a small silver SUV, but I’m not sure of the model yet.
It didn’t occur to me that she could also be with Scottie; what if he’s in her room right now?
The thought of it makes my heart pound in my chest. She’s too good for him.
She’s witty and strong-minded. She needs a man who will protect her at all costs and match her feisty spirit.
Scottie should stay the fuck away from her and go snuggle his precious Fluff—
“Ezra?” A delicate voice sounds from behind me. I turn my head, finding Raina standing just feet away from me.
Her hair is up with pieces framing her face, her bangs slightly parted in the middle.
She is even more stunning with her hair like this, allowing me to appreciate the contours of her face.
She stands with her keys in one hand and her other clutching her purse on her shoulder.
Her lavender scrubs indicate she has been at work.
The color complements her light green eyes.
I can see why Douchebag Scottie took his shot the first time he saw her—she is not hard on the eyes.
I keep my expression neutral as I take another drag from my cigarette, quickly blowing out the smoke to respond.
“It’s me, in the flesh.” She slants her eyes at me before turning and hitting the lock button on her car.
I take notes of the vehicle she drives, a Chevrolet Equinox.
She moves closer to me, eyeing my bike and the cigarette snug between my lips.
Before I can respond, she quickly plucks it from my mouth, placing it between her fingers.
I remain quiet, observing her as she stares off into the distance, taking a small puff. The cherry barely crackles before she exhales, a look of discomfort flashing across her face. She quickly hands it back to me, and a grin spreads across my lips. “I would never picture you as a smoker.”
I watch her rummage through her purse, pulling out some hand sanitizer. “I’m not…but I’ve always wanted to give it a try.” I pause, hoping she’ll continue, but she falls silent.
“And…?” I press her gently. Her nose scrunches up in response.
“It tastes terrible, actually.” I let out a chuckle, taking another hit before flicking the cherry into the parking lot.
She tilts her head and looks at me. “It suits you, though,” she comments. I raise an eyebrow, unsure.
“What do you mean by that?”
She shrugs lightly. “I don’t know, you give off that bad guy look. The tattoos…with the mysterious vibes.”
I give an understanding nod. “Do you think I’m a bad guy?”
She studies me for a moment before replying.
“No…I think some of it is a shield that you’ve put up in front of people, maybe because you’ve been through things.
But deep down, I believe you care a lot for people, especially those close to you.
” I glance away, chewing the inside of my lip.
Raina quickly clears her throat to change the topic.
“So are you here visiting a friend again?”
I casually slip my Zippo back into my pocket, trying to brush off her earlier comment. My face goes blank, my defenses snapping back into place. “Yeah, something like that. I’m heading to meet the twins from work. We have a little private spot by the lake.”
She gives a nod. “Sounds cool. Maybe you could take me there sometime?”
I quickly refocus on her. “I’m not sure how Scottie would feel about that.”
She rolls her eyes. “Scottie doesn’t get to dictate what I do.”
I hold back a smirk. “Point taken.” I pull my helmet down over my head, lowering the visor.
Raina glances toward her apartment. “Alright, I should get going…my lunch break is almost over.”
She gives me a quick smile before walking away, glancing back over her shoulder.
“Oh, and I’m still waiting for you to text me,” she reminds me.
I say nothing as I start up my bike. My eyes follow her as she crosses the street and heads into her apartment.
I find myself staring at her room, waiting for a sign that she’s settled in and safe.
After a few minutes, I finally catch a glimpse of her at the sliding doors that lead to her small balcony.
She locks eyes with me for a moment before disappearing from my view.
As I drive away, Raina’s words replay in my mind, leaving a lingering feeling I can’t shake.
I’ve always been pretty good at hiding my emotions, but somehow it feels like she can see right through me.
But how? I hardly know her, and she knows little about me except that I run the bar and have a bit of a temper.
There’s a part of me that wants to keep my distance, yet I also feel a strong urge to keep her close and protect her from the world.
It’s a struggle to shield myself from how she affects me.
And curiosity keeps getting the better of me.
There’s just something about her—she’s like a gentle rainstorm, calm on the surface but capable of unleashing a torrent beneath.
She could be the very thing that holds the power to extinguish the fiery inferno smoldering deep inside me, and that thought terrifies the fuck out of me.