Chapter Twelve
ARINA
One kind gesture and I was considering joining the circus?
I've lost my mind.
Still, Daze didn’t stop smiling as we followed the sidewalk back to the convention center, and I tried to latch onto his excitement. If optimism was contagious, I would have asked him to lick me or spit in my mouth.
“So, we’re going to talk to Hallow right now?” I asked to fill the silence. There were too many unspoken questions hovering in the air between us. Too much tension. Conversation helped take the edge off my nerves, but anxiety still bubbled beneath my skin.
He nodded, the vibrant hues of his hair glinting in the sunlight. “Yep. We just have to find them first.”
“Find them?” I tossed him a curious glance.
Part of me wished Daze and I could stay at the little restaurant forever. Responsibilities and threats didn’t seem to exist there. Only good food, better company, and overly-perfumed waitresses were allowed.
For a moment, all the stress and worry had faded away, and I’d relaxed into a delusional calmness that I knew wouldn’t last very long.
This was insane.
Just add it to the list of crazy shit I’d done in the last twenty-four hours. I’d possibly murdered my father, run away from home, hitchhiked on the back of a stranger’s motorcycle, stowed away on a trailer…
It was already a lot, but something told me I was just getting started. If the ringleader welcomed me into the troupe, I expected a very colorful, hectic crash course as the group prepared for their show here in Dallas.
Will they expect me to walk on a tightrope? Ride a unicycle? Fly through the air on the trapeze?
I shuddered at the thought. Surely not.
If they asked me to perform on the spot, I was out.
I can’t even juggle .
“If there’s one thing you should know about Hallow, it’s that they hide every second they’re not on stage,” Daze answered with a smirk. “You won’t catch them out and about or hitting the cities we stop in. Outside of our performances, you probably won’t see them at all.”
“You keep saying them . Is Hallow one person or two?” I asked, worried I’d misinterpreted things.
“Hallow is nonbinary,” he answered. “They use they/them pronouns.”
“Ah, ok.” That made sense. “So they just hide from everyone between shows?”
He nodded. “Pretty much. They keep to themselves. Bobbitt is the only person they spend any time with besides Zero. Probably because she’s madly in love with them.”
The circus trailers came into view, and my anxiety shot through the roof. I didn’t say a word as I followed Daze across the lot, even though dozens of questions burned on my tongue.
My eyes flitted around, searching for Revel. I expected him to appear any moment like he had earlier, eager to dissuade us from finding the ringleader.
To my surprise, he didn’t.
We passed the rows of trucks and headed for the event center, an enormous beige and black building with a wall of windows looking in on the lobby.
The name, Dallas Park Convention Center, stretched across the front wall in large white letters.
It was enormous, the kind where they held concerts and truck shows.
Really any event that drew a large crowd.
I was a little disappointed that there wasn’t an actual circus tent like I’d seen in movies.
What was the Big Top without… the Big Top?
I cocked a brow at Daze but said nothing, wondering if Hallow really would be hiding out in such a public place. If I were a recluse ringleader, I would probably hermit in my trailer. But what did I know?
Maybe that was exactly the reason Hallow wasn’t in their trailer; everyone would look there first.
Daze moved like he knew exactly where he was going, holding the glass-paned door for me as we stepped inside.
He led the way up an elegant set of marble stairs, then down a long hall.
I followed along, wishing I’d taken him up on the offer to leave my backpack in his trailer.
The straps were eating into my shoulders, and my back hurt.
We reached a doorway leading into the main concert hall and stepped inside.
I immediately scanned the enormous room with thousands of empty seats.
They ran around the entire perimeter of the long, oval space, stretching from the lower level all the way up to the ceiling.
The middle of the hall was wide open and undecorated, but crew members were beginning to filter in with equipment.
I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of someone who looked like a ringleader but came up short.
“There.” Daze pointed to the opposite side of the stadium, and I followed his line of sight.
It was a spot several rows higher than where we stood, cast almost entirely in shadows.
At first, I didn’t see what he was talking about, but then I blinked, and two figures materialized in the darkness.
I couldn’t make out any more than their outlines.
One thing was certain: Hallow wasn’t alone.
“Who are they with?” I asked, dragging my eyes away to look at Daze.
He squinted, and then his face twisted in annoyance. “Zero. He’s normally lodged directly in Hallow’s ass. At least, when Bobbitt isn’t there.”
Zero.
I thought about his malicious expression on the circus flyer hidden in my backpack, and dread prickled up my spine. Of the three faces splayed on the paper, Zero’s was the one I was least excited to see in person. It was like his aura radiated off the page, and it left me unsettled.
“He’s one of the headliners, right?” I asked.
Daze nodded. “Him, Revel, and Night. They’re the Big Three.”
“Are they all?—”
“—alphas?” Daze knew what I was going to ask before I’d finished the question. “Yeah.”
Of course they were. They were the knots behind the Knotty Sideshow, and they probably had their entire female audience pining like omegas in heat.
I shifted uncomfortably on the spot.
“Is Zero worse than Revel?” I asked, dropping my voice even though there was no one around. Something told me I already knew the answer.
To my surprise, he laughed. “Worse? Depends on your definition of the word. If you mean more psychotic, more entitled, and cockier… then, yeah, he’s worse.”
I didn’t like the sound of him at all.
“Maybe we should wait until Hallow is alone,” I suggested. My gaze jumped back to the shadowed figures, and my insides turned. The thought of meeting one person had me anxious enough, but having to convince two why they should let me join?
I groaned. Why did I think I could perform for a packed stadium if I couldn’t even buck up the courage to talk to the ringleader and his lapdog?
“Nah.” Daze waved a hand flippantly. “Zero will probably get a say regardless; he’s in charge any time Hallow isn’t.”
Of course he is.
As much as I would have loved to avoid the clown, if what Daze said was true, there was no getting around him. I’d have to face him eventually, whether I liked it or not.
“Fine.” I sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”
With a nod, Daze led us back into the hall that wrapped around the outside of the event hall.
Every step closer to the ringleader made my chest tighten with anticipation, and my mind wandered. What was I even nervous about? It wasn’t like this had been my plan from the start; I’d only just decided I wanted to join. It wasn’t some lifelong dream that hung in the balance.
Still, that didn’t make the thought of rejection any easier.
If they turned me away, I was back to square one. And, as crazy as this plan was, it was something .
I barely noticed the walk over because I was too focused on my racing heart. My throat was tight, my palms sweaty. I tried slow, steady breaths to no avail.
“Don’t freak out on me now,” Daze said and laughed, as though sensing my discomfort.
“I’m not freaking out,” I lied.
He tossed me a sympathetic look. “Zero won't be completely horrible when he’s around Hallow. Besides, the worst they can say is no.”
His words should have comforted me, but they didn’t.
We stepped through an open doorway a few feet away from Hallow and Zero, and panic lit up my veins. They weren’t facing us, instead looking down at the open performance area below, but their auras slammed into me as we approached. Zero’s was powerful, radiating, overwhelming. Very clearly an alpha.
Hallow’s was more muted, but still there, beneath Zero’s. They were an alpha—at least, I was pretty sure they were—though their aura seemed to come and go like ocean waves.
“Do you need something, Daze?”
The figure on the right, who must have been Hallow, turned to look at us.
They were tall and slender, dressed in a pressed black suit.
A black top hat was perched on their dark hair, and black, elaborate makeup framed their eyes.
Their features were sharp, angular, and perfectly androgynous.
Spooky was the best word I could conjure to describe them.
“Not a need, but I wanted to introduce you to someone,” Daze said, suddenly sounding less sure than he had before. “This is Arina. She’d like to join the Knotty Sideshow.”
“Would she?” Hallow’s expression didn’t change at all. I felt like their cold, calculated gaze was scrutinizing every part of me.
Daze nudged me with his elbow, and I winced.
“Y-yes,” I said quickly. “Yes, I would.”
“Arina?” The other figure turned to face me, and my chest clenched. Even without his elaborate clown makeup, the alpha’s face was unmistakable.
Zero had the same dark look in his eyes and the same sinister smile curling his lips from the circus poster.
He had blinding white hair and golden eyes that nearly glowed in the limited lighting.
His T-shirt showed off every inch of his broad, muscular torso, and my gaze caught on the hard line of his jaw.
The fucker was stunning, a beautiful nightmare in the flesh.
And he was staring straight at me.
I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“Yes, like a circus arena. I’ve heard it already.
” It was more forceful than I intended, but I was suddenly more nervous than I had been moments ago.
Under the weight of his gaze, I could feel my panic spiking, despite my attempts to keep it under control.
He chuckled dryly. “Coincidence or irony?”
His voice was low and deep, sinking through me with warmth that settled between my thighs. My mind melted as he watched me, but I managed a reply.
“Both.”
The corner of his mouth hiked in a smirk, and he exchanged a glance with Hallow. They said nothing.
Zero stepped closer, looming over me, staring me down. The closer he got, the more his scent bloomed around us, filling the air.
Rich, sweet caramel wrapped around salted, buttery popcorn.
I inhaled deeply, unable to stop myself, and the aroma filled me.
Not just my lungs, but my entire being. Another inhale, and I could taste him, my mouth watering at the sweet-and-salty scent.
It gripped my marrow like a vise, and a piercing realization shot through me.
It lit up my veins.
It sparked in my chest.
It consumed me until there was no sliver of doubt in my mind.
This psychotic fucking clown was my scent match.