Chapter Eighteen
ARINA
Bobbitt didn't even look up from the balloon she was twisting as Zero stopped next to the giant bullseye.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop staring. He was a demented beacon, calling to every part of my soul. No matter how much I wanted to look away, no matter how badly I wanted to ignore him, I couldn't.
I didn’t hate him, but it was close. I had plenty of reasons to.
That asshole clown was hellbent on terrifying me until I walked away from the sideshow.
He’d tried his best to break me. He’d laughed at my fear.
And now, to my surprise—and horror—he was looking in my direction with one of his blades pointed straight at me.
I froze, ice punching through my veins, but I kept my face emotionless.
This was another attempt to scare me, picking me out of an empty stadium.
While it was working, causing my heart rate to spike under his malicious gaze, I refused to show it.
I’d swallow down all the fear and unsettling emotions, burying them so deep, they’d never resurface, if it meant not caving to this clown.
Forcing a smile across my face, I wiggled my fingers at him in a little wave and relaxed into my seat.
Even from where we sat, I could see his posture stiffen before he turned to take his position in front of the target.
With a flick of his wrist, he threw the knife he’d pointed at me at the target.
It struck dead center.
At the sight, the blood drained from my face, but I still tried to look indifferent.
It’ll piss him off more knowing he can’t get to me.
His second knife hit the first and ricocheted off, landing on the ground.
“Fuck, he’s got good aim,” I mumbled.
Bobbitt finally glanced up when she finished twisting her balloon into a dinosaur.
“Oh, yeah, Zero’s aim is impressive alright.” She clicked her tongue. “The only thing sharper than those knives is his temper.”
I scoffed a laugh. That checked out perfectly.
He launched blade after blade at the target, barely pausing in between. If he wasn’t performing right in front of my eyes, I would have sworn it was some kind of CGI effect. His movements were impossibly graceful, and he looked like some kind of hilarious assassin.
When he was finished, the knives wedged in the target made a perfect smiley face, the one dead center marking the nose.
With one last glare toward where I sat in the stands, he walked off the arena floor. A shiver worked through me, but I tried not to linger on it much. I could always dwell on it while I lay awake that night on the clown bus, feet away from the psycho fucker.
For now, there was still more circus to see and one final alpha to perform.
“Do you believe in magic?” Hallow’s voice echoed through the space yet again. They addressed the empty stadium as though it was packed, but their eyes kept landing in mine and Bobbitt’s direction.
They might have wanted me to see the show, but something told me it wasn’t me they were looking at.
“Our last alpha act will have you questioning reality and second-guessing your senses,” Hallow went on, pointing their cane straight at us. Bobbitt grinned wide at their acknowledgement. “Their act defies reason and gives new meaning to the word unbelievable. A word of advice…”
They paused dramatically, a crooked smile lighting up their face. “Don’t blink.”
Before I could even register the warning, every light illuminating the arena blinked out, casting the entire performance area in darkness.
I caught my breath, wondering if something had malfunctioned, but then a wave of sapphire light spilled over the entire hall.
The music shifted to a slower, more ominous track, and hundreds of tiny white lights sparked to life across the ceiling.
They glowed serenely like stars in the night sky.
That was when it sank in.
This was Night’s performance.
As though thinking his name conjured him into existence, a figure appeared in front of the carousel. I wasn’t sure if he’d materialized between one blink and another, but I couldn’t recall how he got there.
He was just there.
The lights played over his features, glinting off the metallic mask that covered half his face. He looked just like the picture of him on the flyer, down to the blazer and top hat he wore. He was the epitome of what a magician should be.
I’d seen magic tricks before, both at birthday parties when I was a kid and on television. Card tricks, sleight of hand, vanishing objects. I thought I knew what to expect from a circus magician, but I was wrong.
Night’s performance wasn’t just magic; it was an experience.
From the lights overhead twinkling in and out of existence at his command, to him vanishing and reappearing, to fireworks exploding out of his hat.
He walked through walls, escaped a lock box that an assistant locked him in, and even shattered the mirrors on the carousel, only for them to be intact moments later.
He was one person, but he somehow filled the entire hall with his energy. With his magic .
I knew magic wasn’t real, it was a fallacy people used to escape the harsh truths of real life, but by the end of the alpha’s performance, I found myself questioning everything I’d seen. Surely, for how spectacular it was, some of it had to be real…
No, that’s silly.
Still, I couldn’t help but entertain the idea.
At the end of the show, there was a grand finale, complete with fireworks and a choreographed dance. By the time everyone had bowed and made their way off stage, I was sad it was over. I wanted to watch it again and again, to lose myself in the whimsy that was the Knotty Sideshow.
“So whatdaya think?” Bobbitt giggled. “Was it amazing, or what?”
“Yeah, I think you might be right,” I breathed, staring down at the empty arena. “I’m pretty sure that was the best show on Earth.”
“Told ya!” She nudged me playfully with her elbow.
She’d made at least a dozen balloon figures throughout the show, and they were piled into the empty chair next to her. There were several flowers, an elaborate crown, and some animals. With a grin, she handed me a neon orange dog holding a sword.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to perform with them,” I admitted, staring down at my gift. “How can I possibly blend in with…” I gestured to the arena with a flailing hand. “All of that?”
“You’re gonna do great, doll. It’s all about confidence,” she assured me. “The audience doesn't know ya have no idea what you're doing. Ya just gotta pretend like ya do.”
Pretend. I could do that. Probably.
I’d pretended to be a beta for the last three years. Surely, I could fake being a circus assistant.
All I had to do was not freak out tomorrow night in front of thousands of people and stand in front of a target.
Or maybe I’ll be strapped to it.
“Seriously, don’t worry about it,” Bobbitt said, like she could read my mind. “Your practice with Zero earlier was fantastic, which is why Hallow didn’t make ya do it again tonight. They wanted ya to get the full effect.”
That was nice of them. To be so mysterious and recluse, they seemed much kinder than the alphas they ordered around.
“I’m going to need cue cards or something,” I grumbled, standing to stretch my legs.
I had no idea how long we’d been sitting there, but it had to be at least two hours. I needed a cell phone or a watch to keep track of time.
“We’ll be there to make sure you know where to go.” Bobbitt grabbed an armful of balloons and stood to join me. “Promise.”
I forced a smile, hoping it looked convincing. Nerves bubbled in my stomach, but I tried to swallow them down.
This was fine.
Everything was going to be fine.
“There you are!” a voice shouted from nearby, making me jump and nearly drop my balloon dog.
I whipped around to see Daze bounding down the aisle to where we were.
Beads of sweat glistened on his tanned skin, and his rainbow hair was a hot mess.
He was still shirtless from the grand finale, wearing only his pants, suspenders, and a pair of slippers. “What did you think?”
“You were amazing,” I assured him, figuring he was fishing for a compliment. “All of you. That was the best show I’ve ever seen.”
“Really?” His face lit up.
I nodded. “And it’s the only one I've ever seen, so the bar is set pretty high.”
He snorted a laugh and bent to peek around me at Bobbitt. “Mind if I steal her back for a bit?”
“Be my guest, Dazey.” She nodded. “Just make sure she gets back to the bus tonight.”
He rolled his dark brown eyes. “Of course. What am I? Some kind of bad influence?”
Bobbitt didn’t humor him with an answer but cackled as she turned and headed in the opposite direction. My guess was she was off to find Hallow now that rehearsal was over.
Once we were alone, my stomach flip-flopped. I didn’t consider what I would do once the show was over, but I hadn’t expected Daze to seek me out again. He could have just as easily pawned me off on Bobbitt and not worried about me now that I was part of the show.
“So what’s the plan?” I asked. “You doing anything after this?”
He shrugged. “I don't have a plan per se, but I need a shower, and I’m starving. Food being the bigger priority. Do you want to come?”
I glanced down at my borrowed outfit, frowning at the wild colors and patterns. “Can I go like this?”
“What do you mean? You look amazing,” he said, admiring the corset top. “You look like one of us.”
Considering the performance I’d just watched, I couldn’t think of a better compliment. Heat prickled across my cheeks, and I grinned bashfully.
“Alright, then,” I said. “Lead the way.”