Chapter Twenty-Six
ARINA
I shot up in bed, nearly cracking my head on the bunk above mine, gasping for air. My hand immediately went to my neck, brushing over the place where Zero’s lips had been moments ago. A shaky breath knocked free as I replayed the last image in my head.
It was just a dream, I told myself silently. Just a dream.
But it had all felt so real…
From his blade on my skin, to his warm breath on me, to the slick drenching my leggings.
My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped when I shifted and felt the wetness between my thighs. It was everywhere, soaked into the sheet.
“Oh shit,” I whispered, barely audible.
I had a wet dream about Zero, and there was still a steady throb between my thighs. Remnants of the clown’s terrifying grin and deep, growly voice were fading, but he was still there, lingering in my mind.
With another shaky breath, I flopped back onto my pillow, afraid to close my eyes.
It might have been just a dream, but something told me the clown sleeping mere feet from me would jump at the chance to make it a reality.
He’d love to torture me, to see me squirm, especially if he thought I was afraid.
I shuddered and imagined his hand around my throat again, his fingers pressing hard enough against my skin to leave a mark. The darkness in his gaze, that malicious grin… the thought twisted my insides, and my pussy throbbed.
Fuck.
I needed relief. I needed to come. But how the hell would that be possible on a bus with eleven other troupe members?
Taking a deep breath, I inhaled Zero’s caramel-popcorn scent, willing it to calm my nerves. If I was closer, like curled up in bed next to him, it would have worked. But as it was, with him sleeping just across the aisle, and me so horny I wanted to cry, it wasn’t enough to take the edge off.
I could slip away to the bathroom, hop in the shower again and rub one out under the spray of hot water. Surely, no one would hear me, but if Zero woke up again… he’d know something was wrong.
No, another shower in the middle of the night was suspicious and out of the question.
My only other option—as horrific as it was to imagine—was masturbating right here, in my bunk, surrounded by the rest of the clowns who may, or may not, overhear.
It wasn’t ideal. Okay, actually, it was fucking terrible, but the way my clit ached, desperate for friction, had every logical thought going out of the window.
I can be quiet.
Quieter than I’ve ever been.
I’ll be quick…
I slid my hand beneath the waistband of my pants, brushing over my neatly trimmed hair, and blushed at the amount of slick soaking my clothes. I’d been wet before, but this was obscene. I’d probably have to burn these sheets.
I brushed over my swollen clit, and my frantic thoughts died. The nerves, the doubt, all of it. I swirled my fingers through the slick, tracing small circles around the sensitive nub, and bit my bottom lip to cut off the whine working its way up my throat.
My eyes fluttered closed, and I dipped my hand lower, slipping two digits inside me. Images of Zero sparked to life again, and I chased them as I worked my fingers in and out. If I went fast, I wouldn’t be able to avoid making noise, but if I went slowly?—
Tingles radiated through my core, and I focused on the image of Zero. His smell grew stronger, even though I was sure he hadn’t gotten out of bed, and my body heated at the thought of him sidling up between my thighs.
I’d never had sex, much less with an alpha, and I had no idea what it would feel like to be knotted, but my omega instincts had me convinced it would be the best thing ever. I wanted it, needed it.
To be so full, so completely sated…
A stuttered breath escaped, and I covered my mouth with my free hand. I waited a beat, my heart slamming in my chest, listening for any movement in the bus. When I didn’t hear any, I shifted again, teasing quick circles over my clit.
“You can’t hide what you are, and you can’t hide your desire for my knot. Your pheromones betray you.”
There was no way he could actually know; it was just a fantasy. But as the words replayed in my mind, heat tore through my core.
I was close, so close.
And I couldn’t believe my first orgasm in weeks would be because of that deranged psycho clown.
Zero.
Alpha.
My scent match.
My muscles tightened, and I moved my fingers faster, chasing release.
The sooner I got this out of my system, the sooner I could go back to sleep and definitely not dream about Zero again.
ZERO
I woke to the sound of a faint, shaky breath. It made no sense why it ripped me out of my dream; I was a fairly deep sleeper.
But there I was, wide awake, waiting for the whisper of a sound to come again.
Heightened alpha hearing had its pros and cons. Eavesdropping was often a perk, but being woken by someone sighing in their sleep definitely wasn’t a benefit?—
There it was again. A soft, trembling exhale.
My eyes popped open, and I stared at the panel over my bed.
Just enough faint light seeped in through the privacy curtain that I could make out the design I’d carved into it.
The image was a carousel, the one featured in the Knotty Sideshow, created by the little divots left by my knives when I got bored on the road.
It was the third panel I’d replaced because the last ones got so weak that they broke, but I didn’t care. Practicing kept me distracted, sane.
I froze, holding my breath, straining to hear in the silence.
I’d ridden this bus for so long that I knew everyone like the back of my hand. I knew who mumbled in their sleep, who snuck an occasional midnight snack, who’d suffered with insomnia, and who could sleep through a tornado. I knew everything and everyone, but these little breaths were unfamiliar.
Could they belong to…
Before I could finish the thought, I moved the privacy curtain open just enough to glimpse Arina’s bunk, careful not to make any noise. Hers was still drawn, and I waited again, listening hard against the silence.
This time the breathy exhale came with a slight moan, what most people would mistake as sleep noises, but I wasn’t convinced.
Was she…
There was no way…
Was she touching herself?
All the blood in my body rushed to my dick, and it throbbed painfully. I stared at her drawn curtain, my thoughts already racing with images of her splayed and naked, fucking herself with her fingers.
It had been a while since I last got laid, and I didn’t bother jerking off because it seemed like there was always someone around.
It seemed that notion didn’t bother Arina, or she thought she was being quiet enough that no one would hear.
That was probably true for everyone else on the bus, but not for me.
I could hear her unsteady breaths growing faster.
Fuck.
I palmed my cock and found my shorts already damp with precum. Okay, maybe it had been more than a while since I’d gotten off.
Was I really about to jack off to her pathetic whimpers and heavy breathing while imagining it was me inside her?
I answered my own question by slipping my hand into my shorts and wrapping my fingers around my shaft. I was painfully hard, the veins of my cock bulging on the sides. On her next exhale, I stroked down to the base, sliding over my slowly inflating knot, and then tugged upward.
Slowly, silently, I jerked myself to her noises, my mind wandering into darker, more dangerous territory.
What would she do if I hopped off my bunk and slid into bed with her? If I offered to help her get off with my fingers or tongue? What if I fucked her right now, slowly, carefully, with my hand pressed over her mouth to keep her quiet?
Would we get caught?
Would she let me?
She was a bratty pain in my ass, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t both be a means to an end. A little hate fuck never hurt anyone.
In fact, a good dicking might make her a little more sufferable.
An image formed of her on her knees, her tits popping out of the top of her corset as she begged me to fill her with my cock, and I swallowed down the groan threatening to rip free. If I made any noise, all of this was over. She’d hear me and stop, and I didn’t want that to happen.
Not until we both came.
I squeezed my shaft, moving my hand faster.
She might have been a brat, but that didn’t mean she lacked fuckable curves and pouty lips that would look perfect wrapped around my cock.
The way she’d run her tongue around my knot, taking me deep until I came down her throat, had my balls drawing up tight.
She whimpered when she came, doing her best to stay quiet, and I got off right after, shooting thick ropes of cum all over the front of my shorts. It was a miracle that I’d managed to stay quiet, and I took a few deep breaths coming down from my climax.
After cleaning up with a T-shirt I found between the mattress and the wall, I settled back onto my pillow and closed my eyes. A twinge of regret left me unsettled, and I couldn’t squash it.
I should have joined her, if only to see the look on her face when I found her fucking herself.
But also, because I wanted to see the look on her face as she fell apart.
When her confident mask slipped and she was raw and vulnerable.
The thought had me half-hard again, but I didn’t have the energy to jerk off a second time.
I’d save it for next time—if there was a next time. I wouldn’t hesitate to join her then.
She could come in front of me or for me, I didn’t care which.