Chapter Twenty-Seven
ARINA
Between the other clowns and extras, we were able to scrounge up an outfit worthy of a headliner’s assistant for the show. It was a short red dress with a corset top that made me look like I had way more cleavage than I really did, with a poofy bottom that bounced when I walked.
Ironically, it wasn’t much different than the dress I’d dreamed about, but I tried not to think about it. I also tried not to think about the fact that I’d woken up drenched in slick and masturbated to the thought of Zero while his scent consumed me.
How desperate could a girl get?
I did everything I could to forget last night, but if I closed my eyes, I could still feel Zero’s fingers wrapped around my throat from my dream. And when I thought about it, my skin heated, and the heartbeat between my thighs kickstarted.
Stupid fucking scent match.
That had to be the only reason why I couldn’t get him off my mind. His scent had infected every part of me, including my brain. It certainly wasn’t his demented grin or ethereal golden eyes. And it definitely wasn’t his thick biceps or incredible precision with those knives…
Nope. Definitely the stupid scent match making me pine for a literal psycho.
“How ’bout these?” Bobbitt piped up, cutting off my train of thought. She was holding up a pair of red fishnet stockings. “You could also go without. Not sure if I’ve ever worn these, actually…”
“They’re perfect,” I assured her. They were see-through, but having something on my legs would make me feel a little less naked in front of the enormous crowd tonight.
I put them on, and she continued to dig through her overflowing closet. She could probably dress everyone in the circus twice if they were her size, with the amount of clothes she had.
“The final touch!” She held out a cute, little red top hat on a bandana. “Adorable, ain’t it?”
It was, but my mouth dipped into a frown as I took it from her.
“Are you okay if Zero puts a knife through this?” I asked, carefully sliding it over my curls that Bobbitt had painstakingly worked on for an hour. “I have a feeling he’ll be trying to outdo himself tonight.”
She chuckled half-heartedly and waved her hand. “All of this is yours to keep, doll. If it gets messed up, it’s fine. But Zero normally plays a little nicer in front of a crowd.”
Her words were meant to comfort me, but they didn’t.
Maybe it was because I’d already been used as target practice once, or maybe it was the conversation with him last night that had me so on edge. Either way, something told me he’d be just as eager as ever to try and terrify the shit out of me.
Hopefully, he’d behave like Bobbitt said, but I wasn’t holding my breath…
I expected my makeup to take the longest, but Bobbitt was a wizard with a beauty blender. In no time, she was shoving a hand mirror at me with a wide grin.
“Whatdya think?”
I didn’t recognize myself.
My whole face was painted a few shades lighter than my skin, but not stark white like Zero’s. I had rosy cheeks, a red nose, and a heart painted over my lips. My left eye had a diamond around it, and red rhinestones were glued around my elaborate eyebrows to match my dress.
“Holy shit, Bobbi.” I turned my head this way and that to see in the tiny mirror. “This is incredible.”
She smiled proudly. “Glad ya like it, doll! We’ll eventually find ya a signature look, but this works for tonight.”
She hurriedly shoved everything we’d strewn out back into her cabinet and shut the door before it could all come tumbling out.
We were the only two performers left on the bus—everyone else had made their way to the event center to get ready. There were a couple of hours left before the show was supposed to start, but in circus time, I’d learned that flew by in the blink of an eye.
I pulled on my combat boots and tied the laces while Bobbitt touched up her makeup, then it was time to go.
She was dressed in a scrap-fabric dress that looked like a quilt gone wrong, with a giant lace flower in her hair.
She’d glued on impossibly long feather eyelashes, and she wore chunky heels with flowers on them.
She was the most adorable mess I’d ever seen.
“Let’s get going before Hallow chews my ass,” she laughed, taking the lead. “If I make you late, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Would Hallow eating your ass really be so bad?”
She squawked a laugh so loud it made me jump, tears welling in her eyes. “I knew I liked ya, doll. You’ll do just fine with this bunch if ya keep that attitude.”
An appreciative smile worked its way across my face.
The alpha headliners might not want me as part of their troupe, but Bobbitt and Daze did. That was something—an important something. With some luck and a little time, I might win over more of the troupe members.
Once Zero, Revel, and Night saw how well I got along with everyone else, and that I wasn’t going to ruin their circus, maybe they’d come around.
Still not holding my breath.
The walk to the event center was short, and Bobbitt expertly led the way to the backstage area.
It was a surprisingly large room, empty aside from scattered performers and props waiting to be dragged into the arena.
My eyes landed on the enormous sphere cage that Revel and his stuntmen performed in, and my heart skipped an anxious beat.
Knives, I could handle.
Maybe even swinging on the trapeze, if I knew there was a net beneath me.
But that metal death trap where the motorcycles whipped by one another, sometimes with only inches between them? No fucking thank you.
“Arina!” a familiar voice called, and my insides fluttered.
I spun to find Daze jogging in our direction, shirtless as always, wearing a pair of baby blue suspenders to hold up his sparkling navy pants.
“That’s my queue,” Bobbitt whispered, nudging me with her elbow. “I’m gonna go find Hallow and see if they need anything before the show.”
She giggled as she flounced away, and Daze landed in front of me, a wide grin on his face.
“You look fantastic,” he admired, his dark eyes falling down my body before slowly crawling back up.
I chewed the corner of my mouth when my gaze caught on his lips before I regained my composure. “Thanks. Bobbitt did a great job.”
“Honestly, you’d look amazing in anything,” he said, and his cheeks turned pink. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight back and forth. “Come on, I want to introduce you to some of the other aerialists. I told them all about you this morning.”
It was my turn to blush as I followed behind him. “Oh… y-you did?”
He winked over his shoulder. “Yeah, I crashed with them last night, and we caught up over breakfast.”
“Wait.” I froze, and he turned to look at me with concern. “You didn’t go back to your trailer?”
“No, I…” He ran a hand through his rainbow hair and shook it out, the way he did when he was nervous. “I stayed on the aerialist bus.”
My stomach pitched, and my guilt swelled. I didn’t mean to cause issues between him and Night; that was the last thing I wanted. He had seemed so sure at the club, but maybe he changed his mind once he was alone.
“Daze, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make things awkward for you.” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. “We can forget about the whole night if it’s easier. I really didn’t want?—”
He gently held up a hand to cut me off, and the words died in my throat.
“It’s fine, cielito. I promise.” He stared down at me so intensely that heat crawled over my skin, and memories of last night came rushing back.
What I wouldn’t give to drag him to a darkened corner and kiss him until I was breathless, but there were too many people around.
Besides, Bobbitt might kill me if I ruined my makeup. We’d have to wait.
“Okay,” I murmured, still feeling like I’d caused a rift between him and the magician.
“I just needed space to think and Night…” His tone grew sharper at the magician’s name but went back to normal a second later. “...probably needed some, too.”
I wanted to argue, to tell him that he should have tried to talk to him, but I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my place to tell him what to do, and I didn’t know anything about Night. Maybe he really was just a giant asshole who didn’t deserve Daze.
“If we have time, I’ll let you swing on some silks. What do you say?” The aerialist turned and gestured for me to follow, clearly done with our previous conversation.
I laughed, imagining me tumbling out of the sky and embarrassing myself in front of the troupe. “Sure, as long as everyone’s expectations are on the floor.”