Chapter Thirty-Four
ARINA
“You look so good on your knees, omega.”
My heart dropped. Someone found out the truth.
They knew what I was.
I froze, whipping my head around to get my bearings. I was on my knees in the middle of a circus tent, and the lights were dim. There was no creepy music playing, but I recognized it.
I’d been here before.
It was the same place where Zero had teased me with his knife, where he’d made me dance with him.
Instinctively, I searched for my scent match, but he wasn’t there.
Instead, Daze stepped into my line of sight, his gaze dark and hungry. I barely recognized him. He was wearing a red button-up and a pair of dark pants, with his face painted like a clown. Still, his rainbow hair was unmistakable.
“Daze?” I gasped, trying to get to my feet.
To my horror, my hands were bound behind my back.
I looked down to find myself wearing the skimpiest outfit I’d ever seen.
It was hardly more than a bra and panties with a few frills here and there; most of my skin was on full display. My pulse lurched. “What’s going on?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t enjoy being the center of attention.” He chuckled, and his voice barely sounded like his own. “You love the way your heart races when you have an audience, don’t you?”
“I—” I struggled against the restraints on my wrists to no avail. My breaths were coming faster as my panic soared, but I tried my best to stay calm. This was Daze, after all. He wouldn’t hurt me… would he? “I don’t like being on stage like this.”
He smirked and squatted in front of me, balancing on the balls of his feet with his elbows on his knees. Even this dark, twisted version of him was beautiful, and I wanted to reach out and touch him.
“Let me rephrase,” he said, running a knuckle along my jaw. Heat seared my skin at his touch. “You like when I watch you, don’t you?”
I froze, heat licking through my veins at his words.
He wasn’t wrong. I enjoyed his eyes on me, but I still didn’t understand what was happening. What did he expect me to do?
Before I could answer, the lights in the tent shifted, turning a rich blue hue. White lights like stars flickered to life overhead, and a slow, eerie tune began to play.
My stomach pitched.
I recognized the setting.
We were smack dab in the middle of Night’s circus performance.
“You’re going to perform for me, cielito,” Daze explained, rising to his full height again. An enormous bulge now tented the front of his pants, making desire swirl in my stomach. “I want you to shine like the star you are. But I hope you don’t mind if someone else watches.”
A shadow shifted behind Daze, and Night stepped into view at his side.
He was striking, his dark blue eyes locked on me over the edge of his black mask.
Rather than his normal jacket and top hat, he wore a fitted suit with a crimson cape draped behind him.
Mysterious and regal, with a sinister edge that made my hair stand on end.
As he stared down at me, I felt impossibly small. Like he was judging and critiquing every inch of me.
“N-night,” I said, the word somehow echoing through the space over the music.
“Let’s see how well you perform, omega.” A deep, husky voice that must have belonged to Night hit my ears, but I knew it couldn’t be his. Night didn’t speak to anyone, least of all me.
“Open wide,” Daze said, redirecting my attention to him. My jaw fell as he reached for the zipper of his pants, and my eyes widened. “Show me what you can do ? —”
I gasped and shot up in bed, frantically grabbing at the blanket around me. My heart was slamming against my ribs, and I took several deep breaths trying to calm it.
It was just a dream.
It wasn’t the idea of giving Daze a blowjob that bothered me or even the idea of Night watching.
The thought of the mysterious alpha sitting back while I pleasured his beta boyfriend appealed to me more than I wanted to admit, but it had been wrong.
So wrong. From Daze wearing a shirt, to the clown face paint, to the twisted look in his eyes.
And Night’s voice…
I shuddered.
Shaking my head to clear it, I searched the bed for Zero’s T-shirt—which had been stuffed under my pillow at some point—and brought it to my nose.
A deep inhale of caramel popcorn soothed my frazzled nerves, and I kept my face buried in the material until my pulse returned to normal.
I loathed the effect he had on me, but I had no choice.
His scent would forever call to me, connecting to my soul in a way I would probably never understand.
Fuck him.
With a groan, I tucked the shirt back under my pillow for safe keeping.
I had no idea what time it was, but the bright light creeping into my bunk around the privacy curtain told me it was more than likely daytime. Somehow, I managed to sleep through everyone returning from the show and getting into bed.
I tugged the curtain and peered out into the aisle. I didn’t see anyone, but the bunk across from mine was empty.
Had everyone already gone for breakfast?
My stomach growled, and I sighed. I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to stay here, cocooned in my bed all day, avoiding the troupe, but I knew that wasn’t an option. I’d have to face them sooner or later, especially if I was going to perform with them tonight.
That is, if Hallow would even let me after last night. And the only way to find out if the ringleader would keep me around was to get up.
I whined and dragged myself out of bed. I’d barely made it to my feet when a shrill voice exploded behind me, making me jump.
“There ya are!”
I spun around to see Bobbitt barreling down the aisle toward me, and I squeaked when she threw her arms around my neck.
Frozen, unsure what to do with my hands, I waited for her to release me.
Her face appeared much softer and sweeter than when it was covered in stage makeup.
She was dressed in plain shorts and an off-the-shoulder top, much different from her clown getup.
“Here I am.” I forced an awkward chuckle.
“I was worried about ya after the show,” she said, not bothering to keep her voice down. Judging by the number of open privacy curtains and empty bunks, most of the troupe was gone.
My eyes traveled unintentionally to Zero's bunk, where the curtain was still closed. I wondered if he was still lying down, listening to our conversation.
“I was just tired after my act, so I came back here,” I said, dragging my eyes back to hers. “I'm fine.”
“That's okay. The show definitely takes some getting used to. You were great for your first time on stage!” she piped with a smile. “Though Hallow wasn't exactly happy about the set change.”
My stomach dropped. I hadn’t planned to broach the topic so soon—I would have preferred to eat something before I had my dreams dashed—but here we were.
“Are they... mad?” I asked carefully, bracing myself for the worst.
“At you?” She shook her head. “It wasn't your fault, but Zero certainly got an earful this morning.”
“He did?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Bobbitt smacked her lips. “Serves him right, too! He knows better than to change things the day of a show.”
I nodded along while she spoke, not bothering to point out that he swapped my act for one that I had no idea how to perform. If it wasn’t for Syxx, I would have been so screwed. I made a mental note to thank her again when I saw her.
“I take it he’s not here then?” I glanced briefly at his bunk again.
“Nope. Probably still sulking somewhere.” She laughed. “Ya handled the cage like a pro, ya know? Hallow is actually considering letting ya perform in the bike act again...”
“No.” My eyes shot open wide. “No thank you. I-I'd rather not.”
Not only was the cage terrifying, but now I had another pressing reason to avoid it. After last night with Revel, I didn’t want to see him at all. Hopefully, I could make it through the entire day without any awkward moments. If I was extra lucky, I wouldn’t see him at all.
Bobbitt giggled and waved a hand flippantly. “Don't worry. You’re just performing in Zero's act tonight. No more funny business or last-minute swaps either.”
I shifted on the spot, tugging at the hem of my shirt. “S-so... I'm not kicked out?”
She threw her head back and cackled. “Kicked out? For that? Not a chance.” She patted me comfortingly on the shoulder. “Ya did great. Ya handled it well. If anything, Hallow was impressed.”
A heavy weight fell off my shoulders, replaced by relief. “Really?”
She nodded, and her blonde curls bounced. “Yep. I told ya not to worry. Everything is gonna be flawless tonight. You’ll see.”
I opened my mouth to tell her I hoped it would go better than last night, but my stomach growled loud enough for her to hear. We stared at one another before bursting into laughter.
“First thing’s first: breakfast.” She grinned. “Then we’ll worry about tonight.”
That sounded like a fantastic plan.
I hurried to pull on my boots, hastily tying the laces, then I sprinted to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I was eager to find food and settle my rumbling stomach, but I was also excited to spend some time with Bobbitt.
It would be a welcome relief from all the testosterone I’d been surrounded by recently, and it was nice to finally have a girlfriend to hang out with.
Before my awakening, I had two best friends who I hung out with every day.
I saw them at school, and we’d normally go to each other’s houses afterward.
But after I perfumed, I wasn’t allowed to see them anymore.
It was too dangerous, according to my mother, especially since we didn’t know how I would react to the suppressants at first.
She wanted to keep me safe and guarded, always. Even if that meant basically keeping me prisoner in my own house.
In the beginning, I talked to them on the phone or texted them every day, but eventually those connections faded.
It had been a year since I spoke to either of them, a year since I had any girlfriends to gossip or laugh with.
I’d accepted it a long time ago—what else was I supposed to do?
—but that didn’t make the disappointment hurt any less.
It seemed silly, but after being alone for so long, the prospect of having a friend to hang out with and confide in had a smile spreading across my face.
When I popped back out of the bathroom, Bobbitt was pulling her hair into a short ponytail. She’d stuck some rhinestones at the corners of her eyes and put on some blue eyeshadow.
Whimsy ran so deep in her veins that she couldn't help herself, and I loved it. She knew who she was, to her core. I might have known what I was—an omega terrified to become some pack’s property—but I was still figuring out who I was.
With any luck, spending time with Bobbitt might help me figure it out. At least with her, I could think clearly. It was a stark difference to the alphas in the troupe, or even Daze.
“One of these days, I’m gonna organize this mess,” she huffed, cramming a pile of things back into her cabinet before slamming it shut.
It was amazing that everything didn’t come tumbling out when she let go; she had more faith in the magnet lock than I did in my ability to fit in with the circus. “Maybe at our next stop.”
My eyebrows shot up. I’d been so concerned with surviving this weekend that I hadn’t even thought to ask where the next stop was. I knew they— we , I corrected myself—were heading out tomorrow morning, but beyond that I was clueless.
“Where is the sideshow headed after Dallas?” I asked as we hopped off the bus and headed across the lot.
Bobbitt glanced over and shimmied her shoulders at the same time she answered, “Sante Fe!”
“Santa Fe? New Mexico?”
She nodded eagerly. “Have you ever been?”
“Not even close.”
“Oh, you’re gonna love it!” Bobbitt chirped. “It’s beautiful, and the food there is to die for.”
I’d never traveled so far away from home, but the thought had me nearly vibrating with excitement. Heading west meant I would be even farther away from home.
Farther away from the Stone pack.
With every bit of distance I put between me and them, I was starting to truly feel free. Eventually, I would get so far away that I wouldn’t have to worry about looking over my shoulder or keeping my face hidden. I’d be so far away that they’d never catch up; they’d never find me.
A smile of relief curled my lips.
I’ll finally be able to put my past behind me.
For the first time, I was truly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.