Chapter Twenty-Two
Jenna couldn’t help but be a little self-conscious.
Elizabeth seemed sweet, but they hadn’t said much.
And she was so tiny, and slender, and pretty.
Everything Jenna was not. Sure, she wasn’t much taller than Elizabeth, but she was probably twice the other woman’s size and seeing what kind of woman these men were attracted to, only made her feel worse.
But if they liked tiny, slender girls, why had Roadkill kissed her like that?
She took a deep breath and pushed her doubts away. She would focus on what she had now, what was going on now and stop worrying so much about the future.
After eating two slices of pizza she closed the lid and slid the box over in front of Roadkill.
“You sure?” he asked, looking at her.
Jenna nodded. “I’m done.” She leaned back and fought the urge to yawn.
As tired as she’d been before, now that she had a full belly, all she wanted to do was curl up and sleep.
She wished for a moment she’d just asked Roadkill to take them home, but if she had, she would still be making dinner, she knew.
A little socializing with people who were nothing but nice to her was a fair exchange for not having to cook, at least in her eyes.
“Either of you want anything more? Want some of this?” Roadkill offered the box she’d given him to Hex and Elizabeth, when they both shook their heads, he took what was left to the main table. While he was up, she slid out of the booth.
“Can you point me to the restroom?” Jenna asked.
“I need to go to,” Elizabeth said, poking Hex in the shoulder. “I’ll show you.” She slid out of the booth and stood. Jenna did a double take. Elizabeth had a round little basketball looking belly.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were expecting. I guess I didn’t notice when you came in.” Jenna stumbled over her words, not wanting to offend the other woman but feeling like an idiot for not realizing she was expecting sooner.
Elizabeth waved a dismissive hand.
“You were a little busy when I came in,” she said as she headed across the room.
Jenna followed, her face heating at the reminder of the kiss and how embarrassed she’d been.
“Don’t worry about it, Jenna. They were digs at him, not you.
These guys are good guys, deep down. But sometimes you’ve got to dig to find it.
On the surface they’re all kind of feral.
None of them know how to act, at least not in polite society, but you want to know a secret?
” Elizabeth glanced at her, then pushed open a door and went inside.
Jenna followed, finding that they were in a restroom with a couple of stalls.
“What?” Jenna asked, not able to keep herself from it.
“I like it. No. I love it. That feral bit of Hex is what lets him jump to my defense if someone even looks at me wrong. It also makes him a lot of fun, if you know what I mean.” She rubbed her belly and lifted her brows at Jenna before turning away.
“I’m about to burst.” She went into one of the stalls and closed the door.
Jenna took advantage of that to slip into the other and take care of her business.
“How long have you been seeing Roadkill?” Elizabeth asked as they washed their hands.
Jenna frowned, confused. “I’m not seeing Roadkill. I just met him last week. I mean l like him, obviously, but we’ve never been on a date.”
“Would you go if he asked?” Elizabeth tilted her head to one side as she looked at her. “I get the feeling from what I’ve heard, both today and from comments I’ve overheard that you dedicate your life to your sister.”
Jenna froze for a second in the middle of drying her hands and thought about that.
“Yeah, I guess I do,” she said with a shrug.
“You don’t need to answer this but think about it.” Elizabeth set a hand on her arm, stopping her from going back out into the common room.
“How happy does that make you? And not just that, but is putting your own happiness on the back burner for everyone else what you want your sister to do? She’s learning how to live by watching you, not just what you say but what you do.
By never doing anything for yourself you’re showing her that you believe the right thing to do is to sacrifice yourself to make sure everyone else is happy.
She’ll either do the same or constantly believe she doesn’t measure up because she doesn’t make all the sacrifices you did. ”
Jenna’s shoulders slumped. She could see Elizabeth wasn’t wrong, but how could she have done anything differently?
“Don’t stress about what’s done but start doing things you enjoy, things just for you, when you can.
If Roadkill makes you happy, enjoy it. Let him do for you, and for your sister if he wants.
If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. She’s seen you trying to have a life, trying to be happy.
Isn’t that what you want her to see you doing? ”
Jenna nodded, then looked down at the floor as she thought about it.
The other woman was right, but Jenna also didn’t think that she’d been wrong.
Especially with how their life had been the last few years.
Now that things were starting to look up though, she thought she might be able to do as Elizabeth suggested.
She’d have to think about it more, but she liked the idea of being the example of who she wanted Lacey to become. If only she could manage it.
“Come on. The boys will come looking for us if we’re gone too long.” Elizabeth went to the door and held it open for Jenna.
“Hex might, but Roadkill’s just being nice to me. I think he feels sorry for us.”
Elizabeth scoffed. “I’m not saying he doesn’t, but in the four months I’ve been around, he’s never brought a woman to the clubhouse. I don’t know who he’s helped but he’s never brought anyone here.”
Jenna blinked as she let that sink in. He didn’t bring people here? Then what was this? Why did Roadkill keep coming around her and Lacey? Was this more than she’d thought?
They made their way back to the table, her mind lost in thought.
“You look tired, darlin’,” Roadkill said as she approached. “Ready to head home?”
“If you don’t mind. I think I’m going to go home and go to bed. I didn’t know a day could be so exhausting.”
“Then let’s take you home.” he turned toward the bar, “Come on, squirt, it’s time to go.”
Lacey spun on her seat and looked at him, then without a word, she hopped off the stool and headed their way. Roadkill herded the two of them toward the door.
The ride back to their trailer took less than ten minutes. When they pulled into the yard, Lacey bailed out without a word. Jenna watched as she hustled to the door, pulled out her key, and let herself in.
“Thank you for the ride and for dinner,” Jenna said thinking she’d have to remind Lacey of her manners when she went in.
“No problem, darlin’. Same time tomorrow morning?” Roadkill asked turning to look at her.
“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks so much for helping with this. I hope we can get the car fixed soon so you don’t have to bother with us for too long.”
“It’s no bother. Tell me something though.”
“What?” she asked.
“Who do you lean on?”
“Lean on?” Jenna frowned.
“Yeah, who do you talk to when things get hard? Who do you vent to when you need to let off steam?”
“No one.”
“No one?”
“Nope. I used to have friends, but we grew up. Some moved away, some got married. We drifted apart.” She shrugged. Not saying that when she’d fought for custody of her sister, the few friends she’d had left kind of fell away.
“Call me,” he said.
Jenna shook her head. She couldn’t have heard him right. No way any man would want to listen to her tell him about all the troubles on her mind.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am.” He reached over and covered her hand with his. “I want to be there for you. I want to help you carry your burden, no matter what it is. I’ve got big shoulders, darlin’, let me carry some of the weight of your worries for you.”
She tilted her head as she watched him. Was this more of what Elizabeth was telling her? That he never took women to the clubhouse and he was looking for more than just to help out some stranger?
“Are you sure? I’ve got a lot of worries. Though, not so many as a few days ago.”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t sure, darlin’. You got something on your mind, call or text. Lacey’s getting on your last nerve? I’ll listen. Worried about bills? About something going on with her school? Family issues? I don’t care. Lay it on me.”
This was too good to be true.
The door opened and Lacey stood in the open doorway, hands on her hips as she watched them, as if she was a mother waiting on her teenager to come in from a date. Jenna rolled her eyes.
“I better go in. I’ll see you in the morning.” She released her seat belt and opened her door.
“I’ll be here.”
Jenna slid out of the seat, bending her legs to cushion the impact as her feet hit the ground.
“And I mean it about reaching out. Call or text, any time,” he said before she closed the door.
Not knowing what to say she just nodded, then closed the door and headed inside.
“How was your day?” she asked Lacey once they were both inside and she’d heard the gravel crunch as Roadkill left.
“Good. I liked going to the shop after school. Can I do that again tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan. Probably every day after school, at least for a while. I noticed you got through your homework pretty quickly. I take it Joker was able to help better than I can?”
Lacey’s eyes went wide.
“Hell yeah! He can explain things, so I just get it. He showed me how, explained it then I was able to do the rest. He helped me a couple of times, but I didn’t need him for most of my problems.”
“That’s great. What about later, when you were out in the shop?” She didn’t want to suggest what she was asking about, she didn’t want to plant ideas in her sister’s head.
“It was great! Joker showed me what some of the tools are and where they go. Papa said after all my homework’s done, if it’s okay with you, I can help out in the shop and he’ll pay me.”
Some of the tension and worry drained out of Jenna.
“You know the rules. Homework first and if your grades start slipping, then it stops.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Lacey quipped with a mock salute.
Jenna swatted at her. “Off with you. I’m going to take a shower and then probably go to bed.
I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep well last night.
” What she didn’t say was she’d been so worried about how today would go, she’d tossed and turned all night long, making her even more worn out today.
Now she was going to rest. “It’s a school night—”
“So in bed by nine,” Lacey finished for her. “I know. I will. I want to get a good night’s sleep. I’m excited to see how tomorrow goes.”
Well, if nothing else, the new job, and the guys at the shop had gotten her sister excited about something that didn’t have Jenna wondering how she’d pay for it, for the first time in a long time.
Over the next week they settled into an easy routine, Roadkill picked them up each morning, they would drop Lacey at school, then he would drop her at the shop.
On Wednesday he asked if he could take her out for dinner the next day.
Even though she hadn’t been part of the conversation, and had in fact been in another room, before Jenna had a chance to tell him she wasn’t sure, her sister had come into the room, accepting for her.
Jenna had scowled at Lacey, then tried to make excuses that she needed to be there for Lacey.
To which, her sister had said she was fourteen, not four, and would be fine home alone for a couple of hours.
And if they were that worried about it, she could go to the clubhouse.
Jenna wasn’t sure she wanted her sister at the clubhouse without her, though she didn’t say anything.
She didn’t want to offend the man who had done so much to help them both.
“All right,” she agreed. She’d wanted to but she was torn. She needed to make sure Lacey was safe and taken care of. The last thing she wanted was for someone to come along and take her sister away.
By five o’clock on Friday, Jenna’s stomach was in knots.
And she didn’t even know why. It wasn’t like she wasn’t seeing him every day anyway.
But oddly, she found she was nervous. Would he expect her to go home and change?
Would he want her dressed up? Where was he going to take her?
A million questions raced through her mind, making balancing her drawer at the end of the shift take twice as long as it should have.
The door opened, she looked up and found the object of her thoughts standing in front of her.
“You look like you’re about to rabbit. You okay?”
Jenna nodded. “Yeah, just stressed. What’s the plan for tonight?”
“I thought I’d take you and your sister home, then go get the bike.”
“You want to take the motorcycle?” Her voice shook just a little as she asked.
“I thought you might like to go for a ride before dinner.”
“So, jeans?” she asked.
“Jeans are great, and boots if you have some.”
She nodded.
“Anything you can’t or don’t eat, darlin’?”
Jenna shook her head.
“You like seafood?”
“What’s the point in living so close to the gulf if you don’t eat seafood?” she quipped before she thought better of it.
“Glad to hear it. You about ready?”
“Almost. Give me just a couple of minutes then we can head out.” She put away the notebook she used for scratch paper, picked up the cash box, and carried it into Papa Smurf’s office.
When she got back to the reception desk, Roadkill was gone.
A glance through the glass into the shop area told her that’s where he’d gone.
He stood next to her little Focus, which still wasn’t fixed, though she wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong now.
He was talking to Papa Smurf, Joker and Lacey.
She picked up her bag and hooked it over her shoulder and shook her head in wonder at how quickly these men, men who most people would cross the street to avoid, had become so integral in their lives.
Going to the glass wall, she knocked on the glass then jerked her thumb toward the truck. Roadkill nodded and she headed out, knowing he’d unlock it before she got there.