Chapter Twenty-Four
Jenna didn’t know what it was about being on the back of Roadkill’s motorcycle, but it settled her in a way she wasn’t used to. She paid no attention to where they were. She didn’t know where they were going, and right now, in this moment, it didn’t matter.
Her mind still spun what felt like a million miles an hour, but on the back of Roadkill’s bike she didn’t feel like she needed to run and hide.
She didn’t feel like a bug under a magnifying glass like she did any other time she tried to work through something, anything, and there were other people around.
On the back of the bike she could enjoy the freedom, not just from people watching her but from everything.
The weight of having to make sure Lacey was taken care of, the stress of making sure the bills got paid, of making sure they had food on the table, though the check Papa Smurf had handed her while she’d been on her lunch break had gone a long way to lifting that weight from her shoulders.
Even with the premiums for their insurance, her check was more than what she brought home in two weeks at the Driftwood.
Now though, her mind wasn’t on any of that.
She couldn’t keep thinking about Roadkill’s words.
He wanted to be her shoulder. He wanted to be her shield.
Did she want that? Hell yes. But at the same time, she wondered if she could let someone in.
Or had she been doing everything on her own for so long, she didn’t know how to let someone in.
She could try. And the first part of sharing, or trying to share the load was to be honest with him.
“I want to try,” she said, still figuring out how to word what she needed to say.
“Try what?”
“Try you and me.” Her voice got stronger the more she talked, and oddly, not being able to see his face, even if she wanted to, as she spoke, not feeling his eyes on her, made it easier.
“Why do you say try?” The low rumble of his voice vibrated through is back and sent heat through her.
“Because I’m not sure I know how to share the load. You’ll have to be patient, and probably remind me to share once in a while.”
He took one hand from the handlebars and rubbed her knee where it sat at his side.
“I can do that, darlin’. I’m not trying to make this harder on you. We can work on you letting me take care of the things that are too much, all right?”
“All right.” A weight seemed to lift from Jenna’s chest. They rode a while longer, before Roadkill pulled the bike off the road and into the parking lot of what looked like a single wide mobile home with a porch running the whole length of the front, with half a dozen picnic tables and big purple neon OPEN sign.
She got off the motorcycle and removed her helmet.
“Where are we?” she asked, looking around and not seeing anything she recognized.
“A little place just outside of Lucedale.”
“Mississippi?” She frowned. How had they crossed the state line and she hadn’t noticed?
He nodded. “Is that a problem?”
“No, I just hadn’t been aware we were leaving the state.”
“Darlin’, we’re half an hour from home. If something happens, I can get us there faster if I need to, but your sister also has numbers for Joker and Papa Smurf. If something happens that she needs help now, she’ll call one of them.”
Jenna felt her eyes go wide as she looked at him.
For an instant, she was pissed. How dare he go behind her back and make those arrangements with Lacey?
But her anger didn’t last long before she remembered she’d made sure her sister had the numbers too.
That this wasn’t over stepping, this was something Roadkill had done to make her feel better.
So she would know her sister was taken care of, even if she was only a half hour away.
“Thank you,” she said, stepping into him.
He didn’t move. He stood still, watching her as she stopped when their bodies just brushed each other and bent her head to rest against his chest.
“It’s been just the two of us for so long, I don’t think about leaning on anyone. I don’t think to ask for help. That you step up and take care of things before they land on my head means the world to me, but please, let me know when it happens not later, okay?”
“I can do that, darlin’. You hungry yet?” he said, wrapping his arms around her and just letting her rest against him.
She nodded, but kept her head against his chest.
“Come on, let’s go feed you.” He loosened his hold so she could move to his side, but he kept his arm around her all the way to the door, which he opened and motioned for her to go inside then followed her in.
“What looks good to you?” Roadkill asked after they’d been seated and had the menus for a few minutes. They sat on adjoining sides of a square table.
“I don’t know. I don’t see anything that looks healthy.”
“There are a few things, but tell me what you’re thinking for healthy,” Roadkill said.
“I was thinking a salad, but the only salad like thing I see is coleslaw and that’s usually smothered in dressing.”
“Do you like coleslaw?”
“Sure,” she lifted one shoulder, “who doesn’t?”
“Darlin’.” He pinned her with a look that she’d learned meant he was serious and about to get bluntly honest. “I already told you that you look amazing to me. Order what you want. If you’re wanting something more healthy, go for one of the steamed meals instead of something fried.
But I would rather you eat what you want than you worry about your weight. ” He leaned over and kissed her hard.
It didn’t last long but Jenna only blinked, stunned when he broke the kiss and leaned back into his seat.
She was still staring, unseeing, at her menu when a teenage boy appeared by the table.
“Hi, I’m Logan. Can I start you off with something to drink?”
Jenna blinked at him, then at the menu again.
“Iced tea, please,” she said after a moment.
“I’ll take the same,” Roadkill said beside her.
“Great. Do you know what you want yet or do you need a couple of minutes?”
Jenna felt their eyes on her, but a lump formed in her throat and she couldn’t say anything. She glanced at Roadkill and he looked up at Logan.
“Give us just a couple of minutes.”
“No problem. I’ll just go get your drinks.” The boy walked away and Roadkill turned his attention back to her.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.” Her voice sounded dry and strained, even to her.
He kept watching her, but she ignored him as she looked over the menu. When Logan came back with their drinks, he set them on the table, and she immediately picked hers up and took a long pull before setting it back down.
“Are you ready to order?” the kid asked.
She glanced at Roadkill to see if he was ready. He nodded at her to go ahead. She placed her order, getting one of the steamed shrimp dinners, the corn on the cob and potatoes looked so good with the seasoned shrimp she had a hard time resisting.
“What was that all about?” Roadkill asked after Logan had gone.
Jenan shook her head. “I’m not entirely sure. I had a lump in my throat, then it was so dry I had to have a drink before I could get anything out.”
“But you’re okay now?”
“I am.”
“Good.” He watched her for a few seconds, then picked up his glass and took a drink. He shifted his chair, as if he was getting more comfortable. “Have you ever been out of Wilmer?”
“I’ve been to Mobile. And down to the beach outside of Gulf Shores. And this isn’t my first time in Mississippi, but I don’t have reason to come over that often.”
He nodded without saying anything for a moment. “So, would it be fair to say you’ve never been more than a couple hours from Wilmer?”
Jenna thought about that for a moment, tilting her head. “Make it three hours and I’d say that’s about accurate. Why?”
“Curious. I want to know you better. Have you ever wanted to travel? To see more?”
She tilted her head to one side and watched him. Where was he headed with this? With everything he’d said to her in the last hour, she didn’t think he was trying to make her feel inferior because she’d never been more than a few hours from home.
“I used to. When I was in school I dreamed about everything I wanted to see. I was going to go to New York City and get a job with a big publisher and be part of making books.”
“Do you still want to do that?”
Jenna shook her head. “No. The more I know about it, New York is the last place I’d like to live.
Aside from how expensive it is, something I had no concept of until I was the only one supporting me and Lacey, but there are just so many people.
” She didn’t bother to hide the shudder that went through her at the thought.
“Wilmer’s not big, but we’re not far from Mobile and there are more people there than I want to have to deal with.
And it’s only a fraction of New York. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never been there, but I have a hard time with the idea of everybody on top of each other.
I would miss not having a yard. Not being able to step out onto my porch with my coffee in the morning and enjoy the crisp, clean air as I let the sun warm my face.
” She shook her head. “I know it’s not something some people think about, but I’d rather trade the potential fame, the dream of working with books, to have the simple pleasures.
I like the trees, I like it here in Wilmer. ”
“So you don’t want to live there. Would you be open to visit? And if you’d like to visit, tell me where else you’d like to visit.”
They talked until their food came, then the topic shifted and they talked about music and movies while they ate.
After they finished, they got back on his motorcycle and headed back to Wilmer.
Jenna was far more relaxed with this ride, and couldn’t help but think of the way he’d told her he was claiming her.
Did she want him? Well, yeah. But would they fit and what if this didn’t work out?
He didn’t take her home, not right away. Instead he took her to the clubhouse.
“Why are we here?” she asked as he pulled in.