Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Roman
Galen guides me through the ballroom; his hand on the small of my back like I’m a prize he fears to lose.
Once we’ve made it through the crowded room, his hand slips away leaving the spot cold. He hasn’t said a word, and neither have I. My head dizzies from the alcohol and more so from the news of the prisoners.
Not to mention Sorin.
“Shall we retire?” Galen’s voice is flat. Unamused. Like he’s rehearsing a line not speaking to his lover. He doesn’t turn to me as he speaks, his boots continuing their clacking against the stone floor. The hallway to our chambers is never ending tonight. When I don’t answer he glances over his shoulder. “Ro? Are you all right?”
A lantern on the wall flickers from the breeze of his abrupt stop.
“That man,” I say, steadying myself against the wall. “That wasn’t Evren of the Jade Guild, was it? It was Sorin. That’s why you couldn’t stop staring at him.” Galen’s face doesn’t flinch, but the hand that was once on my back flexes.
“Enough.” Galen steps forward, caging me against the wall. “Your obsession with the Dyrsjel and Sorin has gone too far. I should have never told you about him.”
“Wh—”
“Do you think I don’t know about your little visits, Ro?”
I push off the wall and brush him aside. “What I do with my prisoners is my choice.” Guilt swirls in my stomach and a sharp pain forms behind my right eye, making me squint.
I really shouldn’t drink.
Galen laughs, a sound I often crave yet so rarely hear. But this time it has my skin crawling. When I turn, our noses nearly brush. He smiles.
He runs a thumb across my cheek. Leaning forward, his lips brush mine. “You’re keeping something from me.”
I close my eyes to steady myself, wishing I was still propped against the wall. “Just like you’re keeping things from me,” I snap. “I heard you whispering to my guards the other night. Telling them to keep an eye on me.” His pupils flare, a smirk toying on the corners of his mouth.
“My little bird, always so afraid to fly. So afraid to accept that he has wings to do with as he pleases.” His breath is hot and sweet, like honey mead. “Is it the height you fear?” He kisses my lips again. “Or the freedom?”
My stomach twists into knots.
For most of my life I lived under my father’s dictation. I did what he asked because when I didn’t, there were consequences. Severe, brutal, unimaginable consequences. Galen’s father wasn’t much different and so we understood each other.
We saw each other.
And when my father died, I thought myself free . I was rid of the burden of constant perfection or at least the illusion of it. Rid of the abuse and the pain and the never-ending fear that came along with his company.
It was Galen who took that burden from me. Who freed me.
And I should owe him eternally. Should love him wholeheartedly.
But sometimes, even if I hate myself for the thought, I wonder if removing one monster from my life, merely replaced him with another.
“I have promised you everything, Ro. Freedom from your father, power over an entire country. And yet, every chance you’ve gotten the last month, you’ve fought me.” He cocks his head to the side, studying me. My lungs burn and breathing staggers when he runs his thumb over my bottom lip. “So, tell me what it is I need to do for us to go back to the way we were.”
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. His gentle touches and sweet scent dizzy my head further.
“Forgive me,” he says, “whatever has gotten under your skin the last few weeks, let me mend it. Let me remind you that we do this as a team, or not at all. I’m sorry, is that what you want to hear?”
I lean in close, my lips brushing against his. “Beg me,” I say. His brows dart up as I recline away from him. “Beg me for it.” His eyes dart to my lips, then back at me. “For my forgiveness, for you sneaking around. Excluding me. Not trusting me to be a part of your plans.” His throat works hard to swallow, his eyes still glued to mine. “Beg.”
“I already told you I’m sorry.”
I fist his shirt in my hands, pulling him closer. “I know, I heard you the first time, but I want to hear it again. This time from your knees.”
His eyes narrow as he takes a step backward. This push and pull of power between us now palpable and stretched taut.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” he says. He drops to his knees, one at a time. I glance down at him, his eyes meet mine, heavy with lust and I hate that this is what makes me feel that I have the upper hand. Hate that he’s only doing it to appease me, but I don’t stop him. I let myself believe for a few moments that I am in charge here. His fingers fumble with my buttons, his breath hot against my pants?—
“Sir?” a guard asks.
I clear my throat and Galen stands, smoothing the front of his shirt as he does. “We are not done here,” he whispers. I glance around him and that’s when I realize the guard, my royal guard, isn’t addressing me .
“What is it?” Galen runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing it back to practiced perfection.
“All of the prisoners are gone, sir.” The guard’s voice shakes. I clench my fists at my sides, venom pooling in my mouth. I was specific in my terms to not tell a soul and yet here is my own guard, betraying my orders. “I…I was told to tell you at once.”
“What did you say?” Galen steps toward the man, leaving me breathless behind him.
The guard swallows. His eyes trail past Galen for a moment, landing on me, so I right my shirt, smoothing the wrinkles.
“We found a dead guard in the Dyrsjel’s cell. Bloodied his eye real good?—”
“Bloodied his eye how?” Galen glances at me briefly over his shoulder, but I don’t flinch. I keep my eyes on the guard, though my stomach drops and the drinks from earlier threaten to spill out of me.
“We found this.” The guard steps forward and hands Galen a soiled knife. Galen’s shoulders tense, his knuckles whitening at his sides as he presses his hands into tight balls. My eyes track to the knife and a tiny spark of amusement rises in my chest.
I don’t know why I gave Elora the kitchen knife. I suppose I wanted to see what she’d do. If she was brave enough to fight for herself.
To see if she was braver than me.
“I want every available man on this,” Galen says. I don’t have time to react that he is giving the same orders I have already issued before he continues. “If they are not found in the next hour, there will be consequences.”
The guard doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t seek my approval before he gives Galen a quick nod and rushes down the hall.
A few moments of silence pass between Galen and I. His back remains turned, the blade still in his grasp. I open my mouth only to snap it closed. What is it that I can even say? I caused this mess and he knows it. But as he turns to me, his gaze narrowed, I realize that while I can admit what I did was reckless, I’m not sorry for it.
“This was your doing,” Galen says as he steps toward me. He runs the blade down my arm before pressing the hilt of it into my palm. “Why?”
“What makes you so sure I knew about this?”
Galen grins at my response. He leans closer until his forehead touches mine, and I suck in a sharp breath. Anger and violence, I expected. I’ve had many years of Galen’s outbursts to know what sets him off. But the gentleness of his touch puts me on edge.
“You can’t hide from me, Roman.”
Before retiring to my chambers, I sit half drunk in the study, replaying Galen’s words over and over again.
You can’t hide from me, Roman.
I rub at my temples, nursing the soreness beginning to form there. Why is it that I am merely a puppet in my life? Controlled by the men around me, whether I’ve chosen them or not.
“You wanted to see me?”
Straightening myself, I run a hand through my hair, though it’s no use with the curls.
Cade joins me in the study. He’s dressed in his usual guard attire aside from the heavy chain that’s normally across his chest. Dark pants and a thick, navy top. He tugs at his leather vest as he takes the chair across from me.
“Tea?” I ask, snapping my fingers for the handmaid I’m sure is lurking just outside the door. A moment later, just as I could’ve guessed, she’s at my side, pouring my cup for me. I glance at Cade who holds a hand up.
“No thank you,” he says.
“I promise not to keep you from the ball for too long.”
“It’s no worry, Your Majesty.” He crosses his legs, then uncrosses them. “I’m not one for dancing.”
I drop a cube of sugar into my cup, watching it dissolve completely before taking a sip. The minty notes hit me first, my sour stomach settling slightly. “I haven’t had a chance to thank you for securing the Dyrsjel.”
Cade waves a hand through the air and looks anywhere but at me. “Just doing my job, Your Majesty.”
There’s a bite in his tone, but I decide to ignore it. Sighing, I recline back. It’s not unusual for people to avoid my gaze. So many don’t believe in the vision Galen and I have for Teravie. For the future of our people. Ridding magick from those we don’t believe deserve it.
Why should Enchantresses be the only ones who are Mother-blessed? Does Mother Gaia not see all of her children as equals? This is the tale Galen has spun to me over and over again, a tale I’ve spun to myself. It was a way to defy my father, even after his death.
“Something bothering you?” I take another sip of my tea, letting the liquid cool on my tongue before swallowing it down.
“Of course not, Your Majesty,” he says, finally glancing at me. His hazel eyes are cloudy, the lines around them deeper than they should be for a man of his age.
“Are you lying to me, Cade?” I place my tea cup down on the small table to my right before propping my elbows on my knees. “You didn’t show any remorse when you hauled the Dyrsjel in? When you signed a contract to find her, so what’s changed?” A smile turns up my lips as his knee begins to twitch. His nervousness is obvious and for whatever reason it relaxes me. For so long, I was always the weakest person in the room. I forget how wondrous it can be to be on the other side of that threshold. To be the one who holds all the control instead. “I asked you a question, Cade.”
“Sorry—” He takes a steadying breath, rolling his shoulders back to look me in the eye. “No concern, Your Majesty, it’s just that I’ve repaid my debt. I brought you the Dyrsjel and?—”
“Except that you haven’t done your job,” I say. “How is it that for a third time the Dyrsjel has escaped your watch?”
His face blanches.
Reaching inside my vest pocket, I pull out the formal paperwork to release Cade from my guard. I dangle the parchment, his freedom, in the air like a bated line for a fish. “Do you know what this is, Cade?”
He shakes his head, his eyes going wide.
“It’s your ticket to freedom. A pardon from Valebridge, relieving you of your indenture to me.” I toss the paper on the table before reclining in my chair again, threading my fingers together in my lap. “But only until you’ve completed one more task for me.”
“One more task,” he repeats, his voice going up at the end like a question. “But I thought?—”
“Thought what?” I challenge him, sticking the parchment back into my breast pocket. “Thought you’d come here and argue with the king?”
He flinches, his once pale cheeks now tinted red. “No, Your Majesty. Please, tell me of this task, and I’ll ensure it’s done.”
I thrum my fingers against the tabletop.
“I need you to find someone else for me. Someone with just as much value to me as the Dyrsjel. I have an army of men looking for her, but I need your sole focus on this. Can you do this for me, Cade?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” His eyes are trained on his lap, his jaw clenching and unclenching. He thought I brought him here to free him.
Pity.
“I need you to find a man called Sorin Trednik.” Cade’s eyes widen as he meets my gaze. “Oh, yes. You already know of him.” Smiling, I take another sip of tea. “Find him. Bring him to me, and only me, and your debt is repaid. You’ll be a free man, I swear on my father’s grave.”
Cade seems to weigh my offer, even though I believe he knows he doesn’t have any choice in the matter. After an excruciating awkward silence, he stands and bows. “Sir Galen has already sent a search team for the Enchantresses that managed to escape, surely they’ll be looking for Sorin?—”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion on the matter. In fact, I didn’t ask you a question at all.” Standing from my chair, I push my fingers into the wood of the table and lean forward. “You will go, alone, in search for Trednik, and you will not speak to me again until he is found. Otherwise this”—I gesture to the parchment—“will be as if it never existed, just as the delusion of your freedom.”
Cade chews the inside of his cheek before dipping his chin. “I won’t let you down again, Your Majesty.”
“I should hope for your sake, you don’t.” My hand cuts through the air, dismissing him at last.
Faint music from the ballroom ghosts the room as Cade exits the study. It’ll be hours before the party is over, and yet I can’t bring myself to go back down. Even the task of entertaining the Guild leaders has been pushed aside.
I let out a long sigh, basking in the powerful feeling of controlling someone's fate. Even if that someone is just an officer in my guard and even if his fate means sending him on a search for a brother I shouldn’t bother to recognize.
I reach for my tea, annoyed it’s already gone cold. “What are you doing, Roman,” I whisper to myself before snapping my fingers again and demanding a fresh kettle.