Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
Elora
Sorin’s hand burns against mine as we close the greenhouse door behind us.
Cade glances up from where he’s tied with the ivy. My heart falters but only for a moment.
Tallulah turns to me, a look in her blue eyes I haven’t seen before. Something darker swirls in them, and I realize that she, too, must have her own demons. Magick is thick in the air and my heart races knowing the risk she’s taken to use it, and yet I can’t find it in myself to feel any fear. I meant what I told Sam. If hunters come, they’ll see firsthand the magick they’ve been hired to hunt.
I almost welcome it.
“If you need anything,” Tallulah whispers as she passes by, “we’ll be right on the other side of the door.”
I nod, but I don’t take my eyes off of Cade. His skin is pale, a sheen of sweat coating his upper lip and brows. His eyes dart between me and Sorin, their hazel color the only thing about him that’s familiar.
I used to love those eyes.
We stare at each other for a moment longer before he opens his mouth?—
“Why are you here, officer?” Sorin speaks first, drawing Cade’s attention.
“Was sent here to find you, mate.” Cade straightens his shoulders to the best of his ability, the ivy pressing tighter around his chest as he moves. I glance over my shoulder. They’re all there, waiting to help if needed. Tallulah hasn’t lowered her wrists, her blue eyes like ice through the window.
“And are you here alone?” Sorin’s hand tightens around mine, so I return my gaze to the two of them.
Cade’s lips turn up in a cruel smile, igniting the fury slowly rising in my chest.
“Just going to stand there, Elora?” Cade eyes me from top to bottom, and I fight to shrink away from him.
Don’t be afraid, Alaric whispers through our bond.
I need one of you to check the wards.
The wolves don’t answer but I feel in my body as Hati and Alaric leave the keep.
“You’re awfully confident for someone tied to a chair.” I release Sorin’s hand and take a step closer.
Cade smirks but I know him well enough to know he’s embarrassed to be here. He never did like to lose.
“How many more chances will they give you, Cade? How many chances until your time runs out?” I kneel before him so we’re eye level.
He turns his head to avoid my gaze.
“You betrayed me,” I whisper. “My mother, who was nothing but wonderful to you?—”
“Do you still not get it?” Cade whips his head and we’re so close our noses nearly brush. But I don’t back away. “Your mother kept her lineage, your lineage, a secret?—”
“To protect me!”
“To protect herself.” Cade shakes his head, a smile dancing on his lips. “She only wanted to prolong her life, Elora. Not yours. If she told you about your Dyrsjel magick, you could have protected yourself that night. Could have saved her. But she didn’t. So, who is to blame? Me or her?”
My knuckles tighten and I reach for my daggers.
Only to remember they aren’t there. Taken from me the night Cade took me to Valebridge.
Cade takes notice right away and laughs. Sorin steps forward and reaches for my arm but I swat him away.
No more running.
“So, what?” Cade says through a laugh. “Are you going to kill me, unarmed and tied up like an animal?”
He continues to laugh, and all of the rage I’ve let fester the past few weeks comes rushing to the surface. The scars around my wrists begin to burn. Images of the Enchantresses in their cells, their bodies weak and violated. I bite my tongue, calming the sea of rage storming inside of me. Steadying it. Reassuring it.
Won’t be long now, susi.
Show him what it means to betray a Dyrsjel.
Show him what it means to betray a Leigh.
Sorin’s lips brush against my ear, silencing the voices in my head. He crouches behind me, his warmth encompasses me and my knuckles relax slightly. “As far as I’m concerned, your word is law, love,” he says against the shell of my ear. “So, say it and consider it done.”
A shiver runs down my spine not just at his words, but what he’s offering. To take Cade’s life so I don’t have to. I turn to him and say nothing but for whatever reason he knows what I need to do. He nods before stepping away.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Cade says, gritting his teeth. The door creaks faintly beneath his words. “You’re practically an animal yourself these days.”
My fist collides with his jaw with a sickening crunch. I shake my hand at my side, ignoring the pain in my knuckles. He spits out a pool of blood onto the floor and the sight of it has my stomach churning. He opens his mouth so I lunge for him again.
No more talking.
My nails dig into the flesh of his chin, and when he tries to pull away, it only encourages me to dig them further. “I have thought of little else since the moment I was locked in that cell.” Blood begins to trickle down his chin.
You have teeth, little susi, use them.
“I have gone over this moment a million times and then a million more. All the ways I could make you suffer. All the ways I could make you bleed.” Cade squirms beneath my grip. “Or burn.” The air in his lungs flutters, in and out. In and out. All the weeks lying dormant, my magick is eager now and doesn’t hesitate as I command the air to turn to fire.
“So do it,” he screams. His face reddens, his eyes bulging. He tries to wriggle again but everytime he moves, the ivy around him tightens. “Kill me and get it over with.” His hazel eyes find mine, and despite the pain he must be in, he steadies himself.
Always something to prove.
The flames snuff out as my magick retreats, leaving Cade gasping before me. Low growls fill the space raising the hairs on the back of my neck. Leaning closer, I brush a piece of fallen hair from his forehead. I smile when he flinches, a disturbing satisfaction to see a man who has hurt me fall before me.
“I’m not going to kill you, Cade.”
His eyes widen as four shadows encompass the both of us.
“But they are.” Smiling, I tilt my head as the wolves’ flank my sides. I drop his chin and spin on my heels to head straight for the door.
Leave nothing behind . Ruse dips her head and bares her teeth as I walk by. Then Rook, then Grey and Skoll. All of their attention now focused on Cade and only Cade.
“Elora!” Cade shouts but I grab Sorin’s hand and pull him into the hallway. “Elora!” My name is the last plea on his lips before the wolves rip into him. I don’t look.
I don’t need to.
Because as Sorin and I continue down the hallway, each and every shadowed corner is filled to the brim with Cade’s screams. I focus on the warmth of Sorin’s fingers laced around mine as the tear of flesh and crack of bone sounds behind us.
Alaric and Ruse settle at my sides as Sam, Tallulah, and I recline in the chairs near the hearth in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure how long it would take them to end Cade’s life, and it turns out, they didn’t need much time at all. The pups have put themselves to bed, leaving the main room much too quiet.
Cade’s screams pulse in my ears, but I focus on the warmth of the fire. Hati and Alaric found no other guards lingering around the Jade Guild, and despite the gnawing feeling in my gut, I have to trust that we’re safe at least for tonight.
“You sure I can’t get you something for those?” Tallulah asks for a second time. I shake my head, glancing at the red and purple bruises skirting along my hands.
“No,” I say. “I want them as a reminder.” She smiles, her face softening as if she understands why I might want that. I run my finger over the knuckles of my right hand. They sting and ache but it brings a smile to my face anyway.
“You know I killed a man once.” Tallulah meets my gaze, her tawny skin dusted with pink. “Two, actually.” She sighs, refocusing her gaze on the fire. “For so long after, their faces visited me every night. A reminder of the terrible thing I did, but it’s that moment, I think, that haunts my husband the most.”
The fire crackles, small embers shooting onto the tile floor.
“How do you mean?” I ask, tracing the edge of my cup with my finger.
“I don’t think it was the act of me killing them that haunts him,” she continues. “But that he wasn’t able to take that burden from me. Wasn’t able to protect me in the ways he thought best.” She sighs, delicately running a finger over the lace of her gown. “We all do terrible things, but it doesn’t mean they’re undeserved.”
“I’m not sorry for Cade.” I take a small sip of my wine, though my stomach sloshes when I do. “If isolation came with a lesson, it would be that we’re all monsters in the dark. And I think I’m okay being one in the light too.”
“Here, here.” Sam raises her glass, casting me a wink.
“Are we monsters?” Tallulah asks. Her brows worry together. “Or are we just women fighting back against a world that’s been taught to hate us. Or maybe it’s easier to label ourselves as something frightening rather than sit in our contentment with blood on our hands.”
I take a sip of my wine, mulling over her words.
“Elora is definitely a monster.” Sam tosses a grape at me, her voice laced in humor.
“Well she’s certainly braver than me,” Tallulah says before downing the rest of her tea.
“Monster I can accept.” I cup my wine glass tighter. “But brave…” I shake my head. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Ran away one too many times to be considered brave.” My eyes fixate on a single log in the fire. Burning brighter than the others. Orange and red and a deep set blue. “It wasn’t bravery that got me out of Valebridge. It was the realization that I have more to run to than from these days.” I nudge Sam’s elbow, making her smile before taking a long sip of the huckleberry wine.
“Well said, little wolf.” Sam smiles at me over her cup.
Tallulah sighs. “Today’s been trying,” she says. “I think I’m off to bed. Sleep well, you two.” She brushes a gentle hand across my shoulder as she leaves the kitchen. “And for the record, I still think you’re brave.”
I tip my wine glass close to my lips before I smile into it.
“I’m calling it a night as well.” Sam stretches her arms dramatically overhead. “I just came to see if you’re all right.”
“Perfectly fine.” And the sickening truth of it is I am fine. Maybe that’s the problem. Where there should be sorrow or guilt for what I did to Cade, I only feel relief.
“Okay,” Sam says, “I’ve got a burly man with a sore head to tend to.”
My laugh is muffled behind my glass, but Sam catches it anyway.
“I miss laughing.” She sighs. “When this is all over, I’m making a point to laugh at least once a day.”
She ruffles my hair, and in a moment’s time, it’s just me and the wolves and the crackling of the fire.
Ruse yawns a few moments later, showing off her teeth, still stained with a tint of red.
“Want a refill?” Sorin saunters to my side, dangling a bottle in the air.
“I better not.” My mind drifts to the last time I drank too much wine and I wince.
Loxley.
Sorin must read my thoughts because he puts the bottle aside and runs his fingers over my sore knuckles. Their soreness is replaced by an electric thrum as his skin connects with mine. His finger glides over each knuckle in a barely-there touch, but it’s enough to make me shiver. It’s only when Ruse yawns again that he removes his hand to pet her instead.
Join the pups, Ruse. She growls so I reach down our bond again and again until, reluctantly, she gets up and heads for the stairs. Alaric stays by my side, his heavy head now placed in my lap.
You should go to bed, too.
He snorts out a loud huff of air and settles further into my lap. Sorin reclines in the seat next to me, and for a moment, I let myself pretend this is our life.
Me and Sorin and the wolves. A blazing fire and a belly full of fresh bread and wine. His fingers laced with mine. Sam laughing and Jarek…not being bruised at the hand of Sorin. I’m lost in the daydream when Calix joins us.
“I don’t mean to intrude.” He gestures to mine and Sorin’s clasped hands. His hair is a mess, as if he suddenly woke from his sleep. Alaric perks up, his ears standing straight. “I wondered if I could have a word with you two.” His gaze passes between Sorin and I.
“By all means, Lord,” Sorin says. “Pull up a chair.”
Calix smiles but there’s something uneasy about it. Like it’s painful to do so. But he pulls over a wooden chair anyway, fingers twiddling in his lap.
“Something on your mind?” Sorin takes a timid sip of his wine, watching Calix over his cup.
The Lord of the Onyx Guild tenses, the worry in his eye causing my stomach to swirl.
He’s regretting his decision to help us.
We’re just another burden.
More mouths to feed.
“Yes,” Calix says. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about and seeing as how we will be traveling to the Onyx Guild tomorrow, it seems as though I’ve run out of time.” He glances at his hands again before back at me. “Tell me, Elora, do you remember anything from when you lived in Valebridge?”
My brows pinch together, wondering why this is the conversion he wishes to have.
And why now?
“Bits and pieces,” I admit. “After I lost my mother, most of my memories are a bit hazy. Memories of my childhood seem to come and go.”
Sorin rests his hand on my knee.
“I see.” Calix nods. He feeds a log to the fire, the bright sparks sizzling and snapping.
You’re safe with him , Alaric says.
Shush.
“I moved here from Scandavi when I was just a boy, nearly thirteen,” Calix says.
I nod, now understanding how he and Jarek have gotten along so well. Some sort of countryman camaraderie, I suppose.
“My Ma and Da had connections with the first ruler of the Onyx Guild, Lady Birna. She was my Ma’s great, great aunt, and when she passed, the Onyx Guild was left to my Ma’s cousin. But she never married. Never had children and so, eventually, it was left to me.” He smiles, the lines around his eyes crinkling as he does.
“When I became Lord of the Onyx Guild, a new law had been passed. A law that would allow Enchantresses to produce heirs, to keep magick alive in Valebridge.”
“Arrangers,” I say. “We know of this law, my mother had one of her own.”
“Right,” he says before clearing his throat. “I, myself, was selected to be an arranger. I was young, unmarried. It made perfect sense to contribute an heir to continue to bless our country and king with magick.” He pauses and my stomach starts to sink. Dread and nerves war with each other and I fight the urge to leave.
Run.
Alaric must sense my shift in mood because his wet nose nudges my arm. I run my fingers through his coat to not only relax him but myself as well.
“The role was supposed to be simple. Be assigned an Enchantress, produce an heir, and that was it. I was happy to do it, to help Teravie.” Calix sighs, eyes bouncing between us and the fire. “I had no idea that by doing so, my entire life would change.”
“What are you trying to say?” Sorin asks, placing his empty wine glass on the table to his left.
“I never intended to fall in love with the Enchantress I was arranged to. It was never supposed to be more than the arrangement, but—” Calix runs a hand down his bearded chin. “But you knew your mother better than anyone, Elora. So, you know how impossible it was not to fall in love with her.”
Air fights its way out of my lungs, but it’s trapped. My throat squeezes tighter and black crowds my vision.
“What did you just say?” Sorin’s tone is stern and low, asking the question for me.
My head spins and thoughts race. Alaric’s nose nudges my arm again, reminding me to breathe.
“Elwyn Leigh was the Enchantress I was arranged to.” Calix’s voice shakes, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. “It was so much more than that. She was so much more…” My eyes snap to Calix. He meets my gaze, his hands clenched in his lap. “I loved your mother, Elora.” His face blurs as tears well in my eyes.
I can’t hear this.
This can’t be happening.
Alaric grumbles but he doesn’t bare his teeth. He stays planted at my side. His magick runs next to mine, easing the panic filtering into me.
“You left her there.” A tear spills from my cheek, landing on my lips, leaving a salty taste on my tongue. I don’t bother wiping it away.
You left me.
Calix’s face breaks. He crumples forward, bracing himself with his elbows on his knees. “I wanted you both to come with me. I swear, I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn’t. She was so set that you needed to stay safe. So set on staying?—”
“Don’t make this her fault.” My jaw clenches, that white hot anger I’ve known so well these last few years ready to boil over the surface.
“I’m not.” Calix shakes his head. “I would never.” He runs a hand over his jaw. “The laws of Valebridge have always been clear. Enchantresses are to live with the king so he may access their magick as needed, and if Elwyn was anything, it was loyal.”
He hangs his head for a moment, and I feel as though I may combust. My body can’t decide if I’m angry or glad that a piece of my mother lives on through this stranger’s memories.
“She served King Silas with unwavering dedication.”
Alaric rumbles in his throat again but my head is spinning, thoughts bouncing between having a father and having a father that left my mother. Sorin’s grip tightens around my knee, reminding me where I am.
I have you.
“I insisted your mother come with me to the Onyx Guild despite the law, but she refused. She Saw something the day you were born, and it frightened her. She never told me what it was, but a part of me already knew. The sacrifices she would have to make for you.” He gestures between Sorin and I.
I glance at Sorin who looks just as perplexed as I do.
“Sacrifice?”
Calix dismisses Sorin’s question, poking the fire again. “Elwyn did what she thought was best by keeping you in the only place she knew to be safe, Elora. So, cowardly, I moved on. I obeyed her wishes and left. But I should have fought harder.” He places the stoker down, seemingly content with the now raging flames. “I love my wife, but I have regretted leaving your mother’s side every day. Mostly, I have regretted leaving you.”
Our eyes meet but it’s all too overwhelming. This other part of myself I never thought existed. A piece of the puzzle I thought I was fine to be missing, and yet now that I know the truth, I can’t help but wonder how I’d feel when that piece is in place.
“Does your wife know of me?”
“No,” Calix admits, and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or heartbroken.
“The Onyx Guild is within the Kirsgard Mountains,” Sorin says. His hand has found mine again, and between him and Alaric, my anger settles a bit. “Is that why she fled there after King Silas was slain?”
I glance at Calix in time to see him nod. “It was as close as she was willing to get to me after I married. But as stubborn as she could be, your mother was also smart. She knew I’d keep her safe, for as long as I possibly could.” His brows pinch and he busies himself again with the fire that doesn’t need tending.
I watch him closely. His hair, flecked with gray, still houses strands of golden blonde so similar to mine I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed before. The curve of his nose matches that of my own as well. I look away. Too afraid to find anymore of myself in him. As if it will take away the parts of me that are my mothers. The parts that are myself.
“When we got to the mountain that night, we were too late.” Calix faces me again.
My heart races and I ignore the voices rising in my head. They nip and bite at my ears, demanding attention, but I keep my eyes locked on Calix. Forcing myself to look at him. To see him. His face is soft for a lord, not lined in arrogance like Thaddeus. I glance at his hands as they tap against the top of his legs. A nervous habit, perhaps. One that’s much too similar to my own. I bite my inner cheek, distracting myself with the sting and sharp pain.
“The guards had left and the blood…” Calix shudders and my momentary distraction is ripped away. “I have beheld many horrible things in my life, but the memory of your mother fallen upon the snow is an image that haunts me every night.”
So, we have something in common , I want to say.
“I had my men bring her back to the Onyx Guild. Where she was properly laid to rest.”
I close my eyes to fight off tears. The thought of her not buried in the snow, a relief and somehow my heart squeezes thinking of her broken body being carried, buried or burned.
“Then, we searched for you,” Calix says. His hand reaches forward, but I don’t reciprocate so he tucks it back into his lap. “I followed a trail of blood and I both hoped and prayed it wasn’t yours.”
My fingers trace absently over the scar lining my neck.
“You came for me?”
Calix frowns, his mouth turned down. “Of course,” he says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course, I came for you and when I didn’t find you, I thought all was lost. Thought you perished in the woods or were taken by the guard.”
He scratches at his jaw again, his fingers trembling as he does. “Then, I heard Thaddeus had locked up his Guild so I did as well. Thinking there was nothing left for me on the other side and that’s where I’ve stayed the last few years. But a few weeks ago, Sorin arrived in Jade.”
He glances at Sorin whose body is rigid beneath his dark shirt. “Word flew to the Onyx Guild of a man who claimed to be the true heir, searching for justice against the new king. And I knew.” Calix smiles, something soft and broken.
I twist in my chair, my throat closing in on me with every word.
“I knew it was you he searched for, Elora.” A loose strand of hair falls in my eye as I shake my head, but Calix continues on anyway, his voice growing distant as I succumb to the voices in my head. “Somehow, I just knew my daughter was alive.”