Chapter 9 #2
“Thank you, Elizabeth.” He offered her his arm. Their situation was so inexplicable! Nothing had been altered at all. He had thanked her for accepting him, but he had not touched her as a betrothed man ought. Why would he not even kiss her hand? Things between them must improve!
“How did you find me?”
“When you were not in the carriage this morning, I decided I could not bear another day of not seeing you. I went to the inn, and Perkins told me she did not know where you had gone. I walked around and did not see you in any of the shops. Since you do not have many friends in Lambton, I decided to start with Mrs. Hopkins. After learning her direction, I approached the house and heard your voice. It was like. . .it was like a siren’s song to my ears!
” He was so melodramatic in his declaration!
They both laughed. “Fitzwilliam Darcy has a sense of humour! Wait until other people learn the truth about you.”
Mr. Darcy briefly placed his hand on hers and squeezed it. “For now, let it be our secret.” They walked in peaceful silence until they neared the inn. He stopped and faced her. “I owe you an apology.”
“Whatever for?” Will he apologise for treating me like a stranger?
“When I entered the inn this morning, people turned away from me when they saw my face. I realized that until today, no one in Lambton has seen me since the fire. Everyone at Pemberley is accustomed to the way I look.”
“Why should you apologise for the poor behaviour of strangers?”
“Now that it no longer pains me, I forget that my face does not look the way it once did. When I became aware of the disgust of those people, I was confronted with the same issues you have dealt with your entire life: the comments, the questioning, and the pitying stares. I should have been more understanding and sympathetic from the moment we met in the rose garden. I appreciate your strength of character more than ever. Pray say you will forgive me.”
She was heartened by his words but unsure whether or not to believe him.
“It is easy for me to forgive you since all that was in the past. Today, I hope we are making a fresh start. Now, let us have a cup of tea before I send you back to the cottage.” She smiled as they walked towards the teashop, but his smile did not reach his eyes.
“The marriage settlement is being drawn up by the local solicitor and should be ready next week. I should like you to look it over with care before you sign it.” He paused before he said, “It just occurred to me that I do not know if you are of age.”
“Yes, I reached my majority in March.”
“Good, but I should feel better if you asked someone you trust to give his opinion before the articles are decided.”
“My father is dead, and my uncle is in London.” Who could she ask?
The answer came to her all of a sudden. “Mrs. Hopkins’s son is a lawyer in Leicester, and he will be visiting his mother for the next few weeks.
As the son of my aunt’s dear cousin, I hope he will not mind if I ask for his advice and honest opinion. ”
“When I have completed writing the settlement, I shall have the document delivered to the inn, and you can ask Mr. Hopkins to look it over.”
After Mr. Darcy departed, Elizabeth could not stop reflecting about their conversation.
I must stop thinking about it! She attempted to distract herself by reading but all she could do was stare at the book in her hands.
Mr. Darcy told her he missed not seeing her every day but the last time she was at the cottage, he treated her as though she was invisible.
Was that going to end, or would she be faced with the same loneliness and discomfort next time she visited?
Once again, he had said he wanted to marry her but still had not told her he had any affection for her.
He said she belonged at Pemberley but was he capable of loving her?
She did not know what to do. Although he said all the right things, she could not detect any sincerity in the words he spoke. Could she trust him?
“Fitzwilliam, would you like to read by the fire after dinner? Or I can play for you.”
Her husband kept his eyes on his plate. “I am quite tired. I plan to return to my chambers directly after the meal.”
“I shall retire then as well.”
“That will not be necessary.”
Elizabeth clutched at her chest as she sat up in bed and wiped the tears from her face.
Was her nightmare a portent of her life as Mrs. Darcy?
How could she willingly subject herself to such cruel treatment by her husband?
Despite what he said today, she could not go through with the wedding unless there was a marked change in his behaviour.
A sensible alternative would still be to go to London and save them both the heartbreak of a painful marriage.
* * *
June 1812
Lambton
Elizabeth welcomed Mr. Martin to her sitting room at the Rose and Crown where her maid sat quietly in the corner doing her mending. “Miss Bennet, do you have any idea why I am here?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Has Mr. Darcy sent you to tell me he wishes to end our engagement?” She did not give the vicar an opportunity to respond.
“From the very beginning I feared our marriage would be a tragic farce. When he asked me to marry him, he never spoke of love or affection. Because of my face, I never believed I would find true love and happiness. Now I am distressed to learn that the dream of sharing my life with the man I love has ended. He was in Lambton yesterday, but I am not convinced his feelings are sincere.”
“I do not know you well, Miss Bennet, but I fear your thoughts are ruled by what you experienced before you came to Derbyshire. You have been treated so poorly by others in the past that you do not feel worthy of love. I shall tell you what I told Mr. Darcy—true love does not come to you; it must be inside you. I am here at Mr. Darcy’s request but not for the reason you think.
” Elizabeth braced herself to hear the worst. “He cares deeply for you but fears you are marrying him simply because you feel sorry for him.”
“No! That cannot be true.”
“I assure you he told me so himself.”
“He may not realize how very much I love him, but I do. My greatest fear is that my affection is one sided.”
“He cares for you and you for him, and I believe you both wish to be married.” With those words, he stood and walked towards the door.
“Thank you for coming Mr. Martin. Your visit has given me hope for the future.”
“Good day, Miss Bennet. I shall see you in church.”
More than anything, she wished to believe the vicar. Could she allow herself to have faith that she and Mr. Darcy would find contentment together? She could not but fear what would happen to her heart if her expectations were never met.
* * *
Elizabeth called on Mrs. Hopkins and was relieved to discover her son and his family were still visiting. “Lizzy, I am delighted to introduce you to my son, Robert. My grandchildren and Margaret are saying their goodbyes to Mrs. Murray.”
“I am pleased to meet you, Miss Bennet. My mother speaks fondly of your time together.”
“Thank you, sir! Your mother has always spoken highly of you as well. I hope to meet the rest of your family the next time you are in Lambton.” She paused to collect her thoughts. “Sir, I hope it is not an imposition, but I wonder if you would look at a legal document for me.”
They walked to the small library and sat opposite each other. “How can I help you?” he asked.
“Mr. Hopkins, I hope I am not asking too much, but I need legal advice.”
“I shall do my best, but you should know my family is returning to Leicester in the morning.”
“I am betrothed to Fitzwilliam Darcy, and this is the marriage settlement. My father is dead, and my closest relatives are in London. I have no one else to ask. As Mrs. Hopkins’s son, I know I can trust you.”
“Darcy, you say? The master of Pemberley?” Elizabeth nodded.
“Let me read it and I shall give you my best counsel.” He looked through every page of the document with great care.
“The terms of the settlement are quite straight forward, and I can see no reason you would not sign. Mr. Darcy has been more than generous to you and any children you might have.”
“Thank you, sir. Those were my thoughts as well, but I wished to have someone else’s opinion. I am reassured that I can sign without hesitation.”
“I was happy to be of help. Mother wrote of your time together, and we were delighted the Gardiners travelled here for my wedding. If there is nothing else, I would like to spend the rest of my time in Lambton with my mother.”
“I appreciate your assistance more than I can say. I shall slip out the side door and detain you no longer. Pray, give my warmest regards to your mother and tell her I shall visit her soon.”
“Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage. I wish you both every happiness.”
Cheapside, London, 8 June
Dear Lizzy,
Your uncle and I send our very best wishes to you and Mr. Darcy.
Having grown up just five miles from Pemberley, I know the Darcy name is well respected throughout the county.
He is the son of two people who were nothing but generous and honourable.
If your betrothed is anything like his father, we are assured you are marrying the best of men.
We regret we cannot be with you on your wedding day. Your uncle is too busy at his new firm to take any time away at present. We hope to travel to Derbyshire in a few months and look forward to seeing you and your husband then.
I recently heard from Jane, and I am sad to report she is forlorn.
Your mother’s tedious lamentations and insistence Jane marry again have only served to increase her misery.
I shall do my best to encourage my dear niece to join us when we travel north.
I pray a change of scenery will cheer her up and allow her time away from Meryton, and your Mama, to decide for herself what she wishes to do.
Just seeing you will undoubtedly lift her spirits.