Chapter 34
RILEY.
How could I loathe someone who was the exact replica of who I was? I wanted to kill Elliot, but I couldn’t. And I couldn’t accept the fact that I was just like him.
Or maybe worse than him.
I wanted to face him for a long time, but I didn’t know I wasn’t prepared for him.
The last two weeks were so perfect that I knew something like this would happen. Nadia and I were living in a bubble we created just for the two of us, and I couldn’t complain about it.
Andrea’s name would surface once in a while, but she wasn’t throwing tantrums or getting pissed off anymore. She would even sometimes joke about it—how Andrea broke my heart and how hard it was to sew it back. She seemed to have accepted that Andrea was a part of me but no longer is.
And I thought I could just bury that part of my life. I thought there was no need to let her know since only a few knew about it. Maybe my secret would remain hidden and my mate would never see me as the monster that I was.
But everything came crashing down when Elliot appeared.
I thought meeting him would make me feel better. I would see that he was the evil, and thus I could forgive myself. But it was the exact opposite.
I am the greater evil.
I am the villain in this story.
And I didn’t know how to rise from that.
Hunter led me to the terrain overlooking the territory on the western border. This was already too far from the packhouse, but it was better here. They would not be able to reach me. I just needed some time alone to clear my mind and to clear my conscience if I could.
I was moping on my own, thinking of ways I would tell Nadia about Andrea without her fearing me or loathing that side of me, when I smelled her.
My mate, she always looked out for me. I knew that if I contacted my Beta or my Gamma, they would tell her, but I guess I underestimated my warriors and my people in how much they adore their future Luna.
Justin must have told her or my Beta where they could find me.
Even if it wasn’t official, Nadia was doing so well as a Luna. I couldn’t help but feel proud of the way my people, especially the females in my pack, adored and looked up to her.
Females would often show up in the packhouse with fruits and vegetables or handmade things that they would give her. Something that I didn’t get to see growing up.
Before she came, the packhouse was always swarmed with males, but females were scarce unless they were working there or visiting with their mates.
But it was the exact opposite now, especially when they already knew her training schedules and everyone would try to see and talk with her on days that she wasn’t in training.
It shortened my time with her, but I was content. I had her every night and early morning, and seeing her thriving in my pack was something I always wanted for her.
She was known as Luna Nadia. Not as Andrea. Not as a replacement for a Luna. And she was respected as one.
I continued to strum my guitar and started singing, knowing this song would hold more meaning now that she could hear it.
“??...You’re the words when I have nothing to say…. You’re the fire, that warms me when I’m cold…??” I sang from the heart. It was exactly how I felt about her.
I heard soft footsteps padding across the ground and knew she was approaching me.
And then she sat next to me, and the moment I tilted my head to look at her, our eyes locked. She smiled at me and the lyrics of the song got caught in my throat.
She was so beautiful, and her eyes were flitting with so many emotions, all positive and warm, that I wanted to choke up and just hug her, but I didn’t stop strumming my guitar.
And then she started singing the song for me.
“??...You’re the hand I have to hold as I grow old… You’re the shore when I am lost at sea…??” She was singing it so beautifully, but I just had to cut her because the next line meant so much more to me.
“??...You’re the only thing that I like about me…??” I opened the wall of my emotions and shared them with her. I wanted her to feel that it was the exact thing I felt in my life when she came.
I had always strived hard to be the best, but I still didn’t like me. Like I was not good enough. Even with all the achievements and the glory I brought to my pack, I still felt incomplete.
And then she came like a whirlwind, taking me with her, and for the first time, I was happy to be me, because I was the one fated to be with her.
I rested my forehead on hers. She was smiling and tears were streaming down her cheeks while I kept my own at bay.
“??...And in this world where nothing else is true. Here I am still tangled up in you…??” I sang in a whisper, my eyes closed, and I felt her arms coil around my neck, pressing our faces closer.
I placed the guitar beside me and held her waist with my hands before hoisting her up and placing her in my lap.
She rested her head on the crook of my neck and started sobbing. “I’m sorry if I disappointed you today. I didn’t know he would show up…”
My forehead creased as I brushed her long hair. “What are you talking about? I’m not disappointed with you.”