CHAPTER forty-seven
Shelter From the Storm
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
When I reach Elias’s door, I stop short. My knuckles hover, my breath slightly off-kilter. I shut my eyes, centering myself for a few seconds before finally rapping against the wood.
The wait feels like an eternity. Nearly a full minute passes before the lock clicks and the door creaks open. Elias stands there, framed in the doorway. His eyes are bloodshot, rimmed with exhaustion, his face carved with a weariness that makes him look older than he is.
He studies me, hesitation lingering in the set of his jaw. Then, silently, he steps aside. I cross the threshold. He looks at Cody, who is sprawled out asleep on the couch. I start to say something, but he beats me to it, and his words freeze my heart in place.
“You don’t have to do this, Ramona.”
“Do what, baby?” I ask.
“This. Me. Us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I feel like I never should’ve let this start between us. It was selfish of me,” Elias mutters, his voice low as he turns his back to me.
The words land like a punch to the chest.
“What?”
He shakes his head, the self-disappointment pouring from the motion.
“This is wrong. I never should have let this happen.”
“What are you saying? Do you regret us? Regret me?” I ask, my voice rising, trying to steady the tremble creeping in.
He whirls around to face me again, his expression weighted with remorse, eyes shadowed with something like shame.
“I could never regret you,” he says, his tone thick with emotion. “But this… It’s not fair to you. I should’ve kept my distance. God knows I tried…But I just couldn’t stay away.”
My anger wavers, replaced by something softer as I see the pain etched into his face. He takes a step closer, gaze locked on mine like he needs me to understand.
“The first time I saw you at The Riot Room… it was like… gravity. You walked in, and I couldn’t look away.
I couldn’t stop myself from staring at you.
Every glance, every laugh, every moment you shared with me.
It felt like something I wasn’t meant to have, something I didn’t deserve.
But I couldn’t stop myself from craving the next moment, the next touch, the next… anything.”
He scrubs a hand down his face, “So I tried my best to act cold, indifferent, keep you at a distance, but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting, from needing to be around you. But it felt like I was borrowing light I had no right to touch.”
My throat tightens.
“Then what are you saying?” I whisper, barely able to speak.
He exhales shakily, hands clenched at his sides.
“I don’t want to trap you here. I know your beautiful heart, Ramona. You’re a fixer. You see broken things and you stay. And I can’t live with the idea that you’re only with me because you feel like you need to save me. I don’t want your heart paying for my broken one.”
Elias’s voice is rough; a strained whisper wrapped in steel. But his eyes betray him, flickers of torment sparking beneath the resolve.
My breath trembles in my throat as I step closer.
“I meant what I said, Elias. I want you, all of you. Not because you need fixing. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
He looks away like the truth might burn me if spoken directly. “But you deserve more than this broken version of me.” His voice cracks, and in the low light, I catch the glint of unshed tears lining his lashes.
He draws in a slow, jagged breath and finally meets my eyes. There’s steel there—cold, unyielding—but beneath it, I catch the ache he’s trying so hard to bury.
“I saw your face that night,” he says, words heavy as stone. “I saw what it did to you. Finding me like that. I can see it in your eyes right now.”
I blink slowly, pulling my trembling bottom lip in between my teeth, and let out a shaky breath.
“I can’t forget it, Ramona. And I don’t ever want you to have to go through it again. I feel like I’m going to keep hurting you, even when I don’t mean to. It’s what I do. I hurt people. And you…” His voice breaks, almost reverent. “You deserve so much better than that.”
“You deserve to be happy, too. I need you to believe that. I’m here because I want to be.”
His back hits the wall, and still he keeps a handspan between us.
“Don’t you see?” His voice rises, making me flinch. “I destroy everything I touch. No matter how hard I try, I always end up hurting the people that I love the most. I always end up fucking everything up, and I can’t let that happen to you.”
“Elias,” I breathe, grounding myself in his eyes.
“I don’t know why I let myself believe that I could have this. That I could have you. Happiness isn’t meant for someone like me. But it is meant for you.”
The dam breaks in me, tears slipping down my cheeks, silent and hot.
“I love you,” I say through sobs.
“I love you too, sweetheart. So fucking much that I can barely stand it. You might as well be the goddamn air in my lungs.” He pats his chest with a fist as he continues.
“But I’d rather lose you, I’d rather spend the rest of my days suffocating slowly. I’d rather live with a hollow space in my chest than risk hurting you more than I already have. I want you to be happy, to be safe.”
He steps toward me, close enough to feel the tension humming off his skin, but his hands stay clenched at his sides like he’s punishing himself by not reaching for me. His gaze sears into mine—tender but blazing, like wildfire.
“Ramona…You are everything,” he murmurs, voice thick. “You’re what the sky looks like after the worst kind of storm. The way the earth breathes again when winter ends. You’re every goddamn cotton candy sunset I can’t forget, no matter how hard I try.”
His forehead presses gently against mine, his breath warm and shallow between us. But even now, he holds himself back.
“And I’m nothing. I’m the darkness that swallows the light, the cold that withers the beauty trying to bloom. I can’t be the one who steals even an ounce of your precious light.”
I cling to him like I physically cannot let go.
“You deserve peace. You won’t find that with me,” He says, his voice shaking. He’s trembling like he’s physically holding himself back from falling into me.
He gently pushes me back from him, his eyes bore into mine, begging me to agree, but I won’t.
“I have something I need to show you,” I say, pulling my phone from my back pocket. I swipe open the screen and hold it between us.
His brows knit together in confusion.
“What’s this?” Elias asks, taking the phone from me.
“Play it.” My voice is steady, though my heart pounds.
He presses the button. Traeger’s voice fills the room—oily, smug, unflinching.
The insults.
The cruelty.
The confession.
Each word hangs between us like a toxin.
He glances over at Cody who is still snoring.
Elias doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink, but I see the shift in him. His posture stiffens, the muscles in his arms and shoulders going taut. By the end, he’s breathing sharply, anger etched clearly across his features.
When the recording cuts off, silence drops heavy in the room. He instantly closes the distance between us. His hands grip my arms, firm but trembling, and his eyes bore into mine.
“Did he hurt you?” His voice is threaded with panic he’s trying to swallow.
“No.” I shake my head quickly. “I’m fine. Ashton was there.”
His fingers tighten slightly on my arms.
“Why did you do this? Ramona—this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you or anyone. I didn’t want to put you in danger.”
I take a step closer, searching his face until he can’t look anywhere but at me.
“To show you that I will protect you too,” I say softly, but with steel under the words. “The same way you’ve protected me. The way that you protect everyone that you love.”
Something flickers in his gaze, pain and disbelief warring. He releases me, steps back, head dipping as though the weight of it is too heavy.
“The way you say that I deserve to be happy, to have peace…you deserve that too,” I say.
I tip his chin up so our eyes meet again.
“And to show you that I’m not going anywhere,” I continue, my voice unshaking even as my throat burns. “No matter how hard things get. I’m here. I’m not leaving. You aren’t a burden. You are everything to me too. You make me happy.”
I lift my hands to his face, palms warm against the sharpness of his jaw. I feel the tension begin to crack under my touch. He looks away again.
“Elias.” My voice is steady, firm. “Look at me.”
He doesn’t.
“Baby. Look at me.”
He hesitates. Then he finally looks up.
Amber eyes, wide and shining. One tear escapes and slides down his cheek.
“I see you. Do you hear me?” I say firmly, even though my voice shakes with emotion.
“All of you. Every fucking piece…even the broken ones. Not just the pain, not just the guilt. I see the man who stands in front of me, who loves with everything he has, who is a warrior for anyone who needs it. I see a survivor. I see a person that gives everything and asks for nothing in return.”
He swallows hard, like every word is both a salve and a blade.
“Please, Ramona, walk away…find someone better.”
“No.” I shake my head, pressing my thumbs gently into his cheeks. His tears are flowing freely, breath in a staccato rhythm.
“There’s no spring without the rain. No sunshine without the storm. No light without the dark that came before it.”
My eyes trail over every inch of his face, taking in every stunning feature.
“Let me be your after. I love you, Elias. I want to love all of you. Please just let me.”
His grip tightens on me, and he’s silent for what feels like an eternity until something inside him shatters.
Then he’s kissing me—fierce and unrestrained, like the dam has finally broken and every ounce of buried emotion is rushing out at once. I taste his sorrow, his longing, his shame—and his love—poured into every desperate movement of his mouth against mine.
I melt into him, surrendering completely as his tongue finds mine, hot and hungry, yet undeniably reverent.
His hands tangle through my hair, fingers threading and tugging like he’s trying to hold onto the edge of a cliff.
Our bodies collide, fitting together like two jagged pieces of the same shattered glass.
My nails dig into his back, needing to anchor myself in him, to let him feel the storm inside me—every part of me that he’s claimed, whether he knows it or not.
When we finally part, breathless and trembling, he rests his forehead against mine again. His fingers, inked and trembling slightly, trace the path of the tears down my cheeks.
“I’m going to be the death of you, Flowers.” His voice is cracked and heavy with ache.
I cup his face, eyes locked on his.
“No you won’t,” I whisper. “Don’t you see? Nothing in my life has ever made me feel more alive.”
He pulls me into him with a force that feels almost desperate, his arms locking around me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he loosens his grip even a little. I sink into him without hesitation, reveling in the heat of his chest, the steady thrum of his heartbeat against my cheek.
A sudden thud yanks us both back to reality.
We turn to see Cody sprawled on the floor, hair sticking up in seventeen different directions, blinking like he’s just been ripped out of a coma.
“Shit… oh hey, Ramona,” he croaks, rubbing his face. “Damn, did I miss you guys getting down again?”
“Cody, that’s never going to happen. Let it go.” I answer, my fingers threading through Elias’s without thinking. “You good over there?”
He yawns dramatically. “Yeah, yeah. Oh, and for the record? I told him he was being a super big dumb idiot-asshole for even thinking of breaking up with you.”
Despite everything, a laugh slips out of me, it’s small and shaky, but real. “I appreciate the support.”
Cody pushes himself upright, squinting at us with suspicion. His gaze flicks from me to Elias, back to me, and the air shifts. He feels it—the seriousness creeping in beneath the reunion.
“What’s up, guys?” he asks, voice losing its sleep-drunk rasp, straightening with a protective instinct.
Elias swallows, his fingers tightening around mine before slowly pulling away. He holds my phone out toward Cody, the screen still glowing.
“Cody,” Elias says, his voice low, steady in a way that makes my heart stutter, “we need to show you something.”