Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
-KADIAN-
There’s a woman in my room. A woman made of shadows. Could this day get any fucking worse?
“Who are you?” I forced myself to ask. I was on the brink of collapse, exhausted.
My friends had been taken, and I had been left here, in the midst of a political schism, torn from the two most important women in my life.
I was alone in Azmeer with the knowledge of what had happened. And I needed a way to get back to them.
“We need to talk, Kadian.” The voice was familiar. Not a soft voice, but one that commanded authority, respect.
I gestured to the chair next to the fireplace while dragging another chair from the desk over.
Whatever this was, I was in no position to make demands.
This woman had magic, and even though I was a new court member, I felt no different.
No thrum of magic, nor beat of life pulsed through me. I was as dull and empty as ever.
“Let’s get on with this, shall we?” My patience was waning, my edges fraying like the old rug in my apartment back home. Home. I’d been so eager to leave and since coming here, well, everything had changed.
Stay calm.
Before arriving in Azmeer, I’d never considered myself to be a violent person.
There had been the odd time I’d found myself in someone’s face, like that fucker Tayo Mindalas when he started questioning Bri’s parentage, saying she didn’t look like she belonged.
He was right in a way, she didn’t. But I always thought what made her stand out is what made her special.
I never understood why others couldn’t see it.
I sat resigned. I needed to be smart, to be safe, to stay alive. It was the only way I’d be able to find them. Both of them.
The shadows swirled downwards, revealing who stood behind them, making an odd noise as they moved. The shadows scurried across the floor, retreating to the darkness in the corners of the room, waiting to be beckoned back with the snap of her fingers.
“Asana,” I bowed my head. How do I greet her?
She was the would-be-king’s consort? Definitely not Your Highness.
Do I stand? What the fuck do I do here? Her gown was covered in blood…
Alvar’s blood. Asana had always looked put together.
None of us had ever seen her with even a hair out of place, well, likely except Alvar.
“I’m not a royal, do not bow to me.” I could see the tear streaks that lined her face.
I wasn’t sure how she was still standing.
Death had never touched me personally. My parents, Flora, everyone was still alive.
But I did know grief. What pain and suffering could do to a person.
I’d seen it with Brida, and how she became a shell of herself.
And how Vale stopped taking care of himself, taking care of Bri.
I had begged my mom to let me move into Brida’s.
I’d needed to be close to her, to help her.
I’d snuck in almost every night, after my parents had gone to bed.
After Brida had put Vale to bed. I’m not sure I did much.
Brida would just read stories to me. In a way, I think she feared the silence.
And in this way, she knew it didn’t have to be quiet. She didn’t have to be alone.
“Asana, I’m not sure why you’re here, but know that I am sorry. I believe…” I paused, knowing I was stepping out of line, “I believe Alvar would have made a great king.”
I knew nothing of the sort, and it was based entirely on conjecture of what Brida had told me of him. Brida, up until recently, had been an excellent judge of character.
I wasn’t sure Asana registered anything I’d said, her skin growing paler by the second. Did they injure her too? Is some of the blood hers? I tried to take a step forward, but thought better of it. She wouldn’t have come here if she were injured…
Asana remained silent, gazing into the fireplace as if she could summon flames to the hearth and burn away what was left of the day. “Would you like…” I gestured to the chair. I felt horrible watching her stand, watching her hands begin to tremble. “Please.”
Nodding, she made her way over and sat down. She closed her eyes, sighed, and began to rub her upper thighs. She brought her hands back and forth, back and forth, all the while saying nothing.
She swayed, taking deep breaths. I had no idea what she was thinking, what she could possibly be doing here.
Bri had been tightlipped about Asana and Alvar, but she implied the two loved each other deeply.
Even if Brida hadn’t told me that, it would have been obvious.
How she looked is how I felt inside. I had no idea what had happened to my best friend.
I didn’t know how I felt about Lil other than I knew I wanted her, needed her.
As if being around her filled my lungs with oxygen, made the world seem brighter, made me want to strive for more. Something I’d yet to understand.
“Can I get something for you?” I asked, unsure what to do with myself, “I could get you some water, some tea… something to help you with sleep.” Something I feared we both desperately needed.
I could feel the beginning pulses of the ache in my skull.
Slowly creeping its way from my back to my temples where I started to rub a hand down the front of my face.
Maybe if I rub my eyes enough times, I’ll wake up. This can’t be real, can it?
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here when today was a day of celebrations and you and I don’t know each other.
” Asana finally lifted her head. Even in the dim light of the candles, I could see the golden hues of her eyes.
They were uniquely her own. Beautiful and ruined. “I know that we have a new king…”
“He’s not my king, and he wasn’t meant to be.
I don’t know what the fuck happened in that room earlier today, but I saw what Rai and Thalius did.
Killing Alvar, was one thing...” It came out of my mouth before I remembered who I was speaking with.
I’d never had a way with words. Where is Brida when I need her?
“I’m very sorry for your loss,” I reminded her, “but those fuckers killed Addie. And that might not mean a lot to you, you might not even know who Addie was, but she was important. She was, is, loved and they killed her.”
She paused, a look of… satisfaction appearing on her face. “Good. I’m glad that their words didn’t work on you, but again, that’s not surprising.”
Not surprising? I think every single thing about today has been surprising, Asana. We were meant to have two weddings, one of which Lil was being forced into, and instead we ended up with two murders, one wedding, a new king, and … “Why isn’t that surp—”
“There is much you need to know and I don’t have much time.”
I nodded all the while biting my tongue.
“The reality of our situation is that Alvar had an idea what was going on with you, and what was going on with Brida. And by extension, Lil.”
What’s going on with Lil? Better yet, what’s going on with Brida? Gods, why is she involved in any of this? Was this Alvar’s fault? I feared when she was working so closely with him that she would be dragged into something. Lil had warned us to stay away from those brothers.
“Your job will be in the House of Shadows, here in Azmeer. Alvar made sure of it.” She tilted her head back, as if that would stop the tears from escaping.
My job—the House of Shadows. I still hadn’t wrapped my mind around it yet. I am a Court of Shadows member. Gods, we’d gotten lost along the way.
“He was always thinking ahead.” Her voice cracked.
Fuck.
I got up from my chair and kneeled before her. Grabbing her hands, I wrapped them in mine. They were warmer than any I’d felt before.
“Court of Shadows members run hot, Kadian.” Had Brida said that to me at one time?
“Breathe,” I said in the gentlest tone I could. I thought back to when Asana checked me in on my first day in Azmeer. I was terrified of her. Now she sat in front of me on the brink of shattering, cracked glass ready to fall apart. We synced our breathing, her eyes remaining closed.
“Find Tura. She’s the librarian in the House of Shadows. I’m sorry, I don’t have more information for you.” She nodded at me, indicating she was ready to leave. I wasn’t sure how she could stand with the literal and figurative weight of the dress she was wearing.
“I’ll go first thing in the morning,” I said. I had only been to the House of Shadows once, for the ball.
Asana’s hands fidgeted.
“Where will you go?” I lifted my gaze.
“Quiala,” she said firmly.
Quiala. Why did that name sound familiar to me? “I thought the underwater kingdoms were a myth.”
“Hm,” she smiled for the first time since she arrived. It would no doubt be the last time she would smile for a while. “That’s what they want people to believe.”
I nodded as she smoothed out her dress. Underwater kingdoms, magic that erases people’s memories, friends that have been kidnapped. Great. Just another thing to add to the list.
“Remember, Kadian, you have no idea who you can and cannot trust.”
Does that include you, Asana? “I’ll do what I can.”
“It was an honor to have met you.” Asana bowed her head at me. Before I could say anything, shadows swirled up from the floor, encircling her.
I rubbed my temples as I sat down on the chair. My hands were slick with sweat, my pulse racing. Alvar knew something that Brida didn’t, but she trusted him. Whether or not that trust was justified, I would always trust in Brida.
I made my way into the bathing chamber, changed, and splashed my face with cold water. There was nothing I could do to help Brida or Lil right now. I would start to form a plan in the morning.
I pulled the covers over myself as I blew out the candles on my bedside table. Closing my eyes, I heard a knock at my door.
Now what?