45. CHAPTER 45
SEBASTIAN
“ J ust say it,” I told Hayden, my eyes flicking over to him.
“Say what?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t in the mood for games. This guy always did this to me; he’d pretend he had nothing to say, so I’d tell him, and then he’d add his wise words.
“Fine,” I said, placing the glass on the table. “Did Serfina send Aria roses today?”
“I haven’t a clue what Serfina does half the time.” He chuckled. “Serfina!”
“Why are you shouting?” she questioned as she entered the room.
“Did you send Aria roses?”
“I did. Why?”
Shit.
I could feel a sinking feeling creep into my stomach; my heart started to race as I swallowed hard. I had accused Aria of lying to me, and she hadn’t. I was such an idiot. What the fuck was wrong with me?
“She doesn’t like red roses,” I blurted out.
“What?”
“Don’t send her red roses again. She doesn’t like them.”
“Ok, Mr Stroppy Pants.” She stuck her tongue out at me.
Ever since I had known her, she’d hated red roses.
She hadn’t long moved in with us, and we were in the kitchen.
I remembered her touching the petals of the red roses in a vase.
The housekeeper had cut them from the garden.
Aria had told me that behind each red petal that represented passion, desire, and romance, there was always something dark and sinister waiting to come out.
“I’d better go and get her for dinner.”
Surprisingly for London, it hadn’t taken me long to get back to Aria’s, and we were now both in the car on our way for dinner. She seemed a bit quieter than she normally was.
My eyes flickered between her and the road. “Nyx, can we talk?”
“Hmm,” she replied, not turning to face me.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have been that way with you.” I took her hand and squeezed it.
“It’s fine.” She pulled her hand away and started playing with her sleeves.
“Aria.” I took her hand again and pulled it to my lap. “Look at me.”
I heard her take a breath and exhale deeply as she finally turned to me.
“I’m so sorry I accused you of lying. I trust you, and I regret everything I said.”
“Ok,” she said simply.
It wasn’t long before I arrived back at Hayden’s with Aria for dinner. I walked into the kitchen, holding her hand.
“Aria,” Serfina sang, making her way over to hug her. “How are you?” she asked, pulling away.
“I’m good,” she replied, quickly letting go of my hand as if she didn’t want to be in contact with me any longer than she needed to be.
Maybe I was just seeing things that weren’t there.
“I hope you didn’t cook, Serfina.” I chuckled, remembering the last time.
It was before Aria had come back into my life. I’d felt like I was going to die from food poisoning. Serfina was not a cook in any way, shape, or form. If any cooking was going on in the house, it would be Hayden.
“Don’t start.” She narrowed her brows at me. “Hayden will be back in a minute. He’s gone to get Chinese.”
Good. I didn’t feel like dying tonight.
Hayden soon walked through into the kitchen, holding bags of takeaway.
“About time,” Serfina said, grabbing the bags and bouncing out of the kitchen.
I went to grab Aria’s hand, but she had already started moving.
Hayden raised his brow at me. “What did you do?” he asked.
“I didn’t do anything,” I said, shrugging.
When we got to the dining room, Serfina had already opened everything.
“You two are so slow,” she complained as Aria sat down next to her.
I sat next to Hayden, as all I could feel radiating from Aria was cold.
“Hayden, can you pass me the noodles, please?” Aria asked him.
The fire in my stomach started burning, slowly making its way through my veins.
“Take this.” I passed her a can of Strawberry Miranda, her favourite.
“I don’t want it.” She pushed it back.
“Chicken balls?” I asked her, holding out the bag.
She flicked noodles onto her plate, eyes fixed on it. “No.”
She loved chicken balls. It was something I’d bring home for her when we were younger, after I’d be fighting, when she couldn’t sleep. We’d sit in her room watching movies and eating them.
My jaw tightened.
“I’ll take them.” Serfina took the bag from me and placed it on the table, taking one.
Seconds after, Aria took two and placed them on her plate.
What the fuck was happening?
I slammed my fist on the table, fire raging through me. I pushed my body to stand and stormed out of the house.
“Fuck.” I ran my hands through my hair, gripping it for a few seconds before letting go.
The rage was festering, waiting to escape my body, but I needed to push it back down. Leaning against the pillar, I lit a cigarette, exhaling the smoke.
“Well, that was awkward.” Hayden appeared from behind. “Did you not sort everything out with her earlier?”
“She seemed fine. A little quiet in the car, but not like this.”
“When I piss Serfina off, she can go days without talking to me. It’s quite peaceful.” He chuckled, placing his hands in his pockets.
“This is different.”
It took about an hour to get back to Aria's flat, where she insisted on going. She didn’t say a lot, and when she did, it was short and sharp. I placed my keys on the table, then slowly took my jacket off, hanging it up.
“Aria.” She turned to look at me. That was something, I guessed. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I'm just tired.”
“You know you can talk to me.”
“I know,” she replied, smiling. “Honestly. Just tired.” She squeezed my hand.
Maybe that was the truth. There had been a lot going on at work recently, so perhaps it was getting on top of her. Maybe it was just all my insecurities pushing through, making me second-guess our relationship. I wanted to be with her completely, but this was all new to me.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
She half smiled and made her way to the bedroom, leaving me standing there.
I was scared I was going to lose her. Maybe I was being overbearing, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
But I couldn’t help it; she was everything to me, the only one who would have my heart.
I wanted her around me all the time, and I couldn’t bear the feeling of her being distant.
I wanted to feel her warm touch on my body.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe without her next to me, like my heart was suffocating, ready to stop beating if she left.
It wasn’t much longer until I followed her and got into bed.
Aria shifted. She’d fallen asleep straight away.
I brushed her hair out of her face and just watched her.
She looked like she was dreaming, mumbling words I couldn’t make out.
She used to talk in her sleep when she was younger, so it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before.
I placed my hand on her arm, hoping that would settle her, but it didn’t.
“Please,” she whispered. “I don’t want to.” Her voice was low, pleading.
Was she having a nightmare?
All of a sudden, she jolted awake, her feet kicking, pushing her body against the headboard. She gasped for air, scrabbling at her neck.
“Hey, hey.” I quickly took hold of her hands to ground her. “Look at me,” I told her, and her eyes met mine, panic running through them. “Deep breath in,” I said, trying to keep her calm, but she was still struggling to catch her breath. “Nyx.” I placed my hands on her cheeks. “Breathe with me.”
Her eyes were fixed on mine as her breathing started to steady. I pushed her hair out of her face, then ran my hands down her arms, taking hold of her hands. She felt cold.
“Are you ok?” I asked, concern in my voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied, placing her hand on her heart.
“You’re clearly not fine. You're shaken up,” I said, feeling her body trembling.
“I’m fine, Sebastian,” she snapped, getting out of bed. “I just need some space. Let me breathe.”