Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
SCOTTIE
Denise: You seriously not coming out tonight?
I stare down at the text from my friend and sigh as I stand in front of the window AC unit of my apartment, trying to get over the city’s summer heat.
Scottie: No. It’s hot, muggy, and I just want to stay home.
Denise: You can’t hide forever, Scottie. I know I told you we didn’t have to talk about it in the car yesterday, but I feel like going out to the bar, having a few drinks, and just discussing things to get them off your chest would be a really good idea.
Scottie: Really, I’m fine.
Denise: You didn’t seem fine in the car.
Scottie: Trust me, I am. No need to worry about me.
Denise: I’m worried.
I shake my head and set my phone down, because I’m not in the mood. I spent all day cleaning my apartment from top to bottom, making sure I scrubbed every last inch. I did this to keep my mind off things, off the camp, off my last conversation with Wilder. And it worked up until I had nothing else to clean. So then I cleaned myself.
And once again, I scrubbed every inch, even took an old toothbrush filled with soap between my toes. That was a new experience.
So now I rival the cleanliness of a bleach-scrubbed wall, which feels great, but because it’s so muggy in the city today, it’s ruining the vibes.
Knock. Knock.
I glance behind me at my door and roll my eyes.
Denise.
God. I love her as a friend, but seriously, when she has her mind set on something, she does not let it go. Should have known she was going to come over.
I peel myself away from the AC unit, head over to the door, unlock it, and open it.
“Denise, I?—”
I stop midsentence as a pair of steely gray eyes meet mine.
“Wilder,” I say, feeling incredibly surprised. For one, I didn’t expect to see him this soon, and two, I didn’t know he knew where I lived. Also…he didn’t buzz into the building. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s fucking hot out today, isn’t it?” he asks as a greeting.
“Uh, yeah. It is.” I grip the door tightly. “Um, again, what are you doing here?”
“Good to see you too, Pips.” He folds his arms and leans against the doorframe. “I was coming to see if you want to go to the movies with me. It’s hot as hell, and I have the perfect place that has salty popcorn and sweet Icees.”
“You want to go to the movies?” I ask, feeling all sorts of confused.
“Yeah, your pick. There are quite a few showings in the next half hour that you can choose from. Some old and some new. Plus, it’s air-conditioned, and I’m pretty sure it’s one of the things on your bucket list that you want to check off, right?”
Uh…
What’s happening here?
I cross my arms as well and say, “I don’t understand.”
He steps in close and then presses two fingers under my chin, lifting my gaze to his. In a deep, rumbly voice, he says, “I promise, I won’t hurt you, but I know actions speak louder than words, so I’m here to prove it.” He cups my cheek now and whispers, “Come to the movies with me. Give this a chance.”
I stare into his eyes, and all I can see is sincerity. This man is genuine. He’s serious. He…he came to me when he said he would.
“I told you, you don’t have to.”
“And I’m telling you, I need to,” he says. “So please, come to the movies with me.”
Nerves pulse through me, insecurity runs rampant, and before I can answer, I need to talk this out.
“Um, can you give me a second?”
“Sure,” he says. “Want me to wait out here?”
“No.” I shake my head. “You can wait in my living room.”
I let him in, but he stops right next to me, wraps his arm around my waist, and cups my cheek. He pushes my chin up with his thumb and then lightly kisses my lips. The press of his familiar mouth and the grip of his comforting hold reinforce why I have feelings for him. Because he’s everything Matt was not.
When he pulls away, he whispers, “Missed those lips.” Then he walks into the living room, and I shut the door behind him. He takes a seat on the couch, and I grab my phone off the coffee table.
“Just one second.” I hold up my finger.
“Do what you need to do, Pips.” He drapes his arms over the back of the couch. “I’m just going to get comfortable.”
“Okay,” I say and then move to the back of my apartment and into my tiny closet that is stifling hot, but I don’t care, because I need privacy. I click on my group FaceTime with Denise and Mika and wait impatiently for them to pick up.
Denise is the first one to answer. She’s eating a peach and cleaning her makeup brushes. “Where are you?” she asks.
“In my closet,” I answer as Mika picks up as well. He’s wearing his earbuds, and he’s walking down the street, probably on his way to work.
“What’s going on? Why is it so dark where you are?”
“Listen,” I whisper in my closet. “I don’t have much time, so I need to be quick about this. Wilder is in my living room.”
“Then why the hell are you in your closet?” Denise asks.
“Is that where you are? What is that paisley fabric next to your face? Ma’am, that’s a no from me.”
“Please, can we not do this right now? I need some advice.”
“If it’s if you should go out with my brother, the answer is yes,” Mika says.
“I agree,” Denise says. “Is that it? Did we solve the problem?”
I mean…sort of…
“There’s more to it than that,” I say.
“Okay, then what’s the problem?” Mika asks. “Because as far as I know, he’s the greatest guy you will ever meet.”
“I can vouch for that. Derek has had him over a few times, and he’s a really stand-up guy. Super respectful and always helpful.”
“I know that,” I say.
“Okay, so once again, what’s the problem?”
“Yeah, because I don’t really see one. The guy is hot, he’s rich, he has an upstanding personality, and we know if he’s there, his intentions are pure, because he’s not going to do anything that hurts his brother’s best friend. We all know how much he cherishes his brother. Therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him.”
“Very poignant, Denise,” Mika says as a car honks in the background.
“Thank you.”
“So…this call really isn’t necessary,” Mika says.
“I’m…I’m scared,” I’m able to squeeze out.
They go silent for a second, and then Denise says, “You can’t live in fear, Scottie. Don’t let what Matt did to you control your future. You have to put yourself out there again, physically and mentally. I know it’s scary, and I know you don’t want to get hurt again, but I wouldn’t encourage you if I thought this was going to hurt you in the long run.”
“He won’t hurt you,” Mika says. “He won’t. Let him show you how you’re supposed to be treated.”
“Give him a chance,” Denise adds.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, letting their words sink in. They’re right, I know they are. Wilder has shown me nothing but patience, understanding, and kindness. He’s been a shoulder to lean on, a sturdy rock when times are tough, and he’s helped me have more confidence in myself. He’s helped me see my worth.
There should be no question.
This should be an easy answer.
I let out a deep breath and nod my head even though they can barely see me. “You’re right. You’re both right.”
“We know,” Denise says in a lighter tone, making me chuckle.
“Give him a shot. You won’t regret it,” Mika says. “We love you, and we know you can do brave things.”
“Thank you,” I say. “Love you guys too.”
Then we say our goodbyes, and I let myself out of the closet and take a second to steady my breathing and calm my nerves. Denise is right. I can’t let what Matt did dictate my future. I need to rise above that, not be scared to give someone else a chance and let people into my life.
And if I can trust anyone, I think I can trust Wilder, especially after what he said to me yesterday—words I can’t ignore.
“If there’s one thing I don’t want you to ever experience again, it’s that feeling of insignificance. I’m in awe of you, and I know with certainty that I want to be a better man…for you. You deserve to be worshipped, so I’m going to prove that I can be the man who can do that.”
He heard me. He wasn’t deterred by my resistance to dating him. Because he heard me. My fears. My desires. My hopes. He’s such a good, good man.
So with courage, I walk back into my living room, where Wilder is waiting for me and I say, “What movie should we see?”
“Okay, what do you want?” Wilder says as he holds my hand in front of the concessions.
“Popcorn,” I say, feeling oddly giddy.
This seems so stupid, so mundane, but then again, when you spend years of your life wanting to do something so simple like this and your partner in life doesn’t want to, the experience is heightened.
“That’s a guarantee. What else? I’m going to get an Icee. There’s Coke-flavored over there, so I think you know where I’m headed. Do you want one too?”
“Yeah, I think I do want one,” I say.
“Awesome. And we need some candy too. But the important question is do we go with a chocolate base or a gummy base?”
“Umm…”
“Wrong choice,” he says with a wink. “We get both.”
He pulls me up to the register, asks for a bucket of popcorn and two large Icees, and then has me pick out the candy. I go with Peanut M&Ms and Red Vines. He praises my choice, and then we head on over to fill up our Icees and popcorn.
“What if I mixed the cherry Icee with the Coke-flavored one?” I ask.
He pauses and slowly turns toward me. “Pips, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a better idea. We must.”
Chuckling, we take turns mixing our drinks, passing the cups back and forth as we layer up the flavors. Then we cap off our drinks, grab our napkins, and head to the theater with all our goodies. Of course we’re about twenty minutes early, so when we find our seats, the theater is pretty empty.
“Okay, let me see the popcorn,” Wilder says.
I hand him the popcorn, and he starts pouring it into the nacho trays he asked for—which confused me at first, but now I see why he wanted them. He opens the M&Ms and sprinkles them over the popcorn, then places some Red Vines on the side.
When he’s done, he hands me a tray and says, “When you need a refill, let me know. Also, try eating an M&M along with some popcorn. Pure magic in your mouth.”
“Okay, let me test this out.” I pop a piece of popcorn and an M&M in my mouth and let the salty and sweet combination mix on my tongue. After I swallow, I look Wilder in the eyes and I say, “Umm, that’s really good.”
He smirks. “I know.” Then he pops some in his mouth as well. “Follow it up with some Icee—that’s the real treat.”
“You act like you do this all the time.”
“Well, for a guy who doesn’t really do much, I’m not shy about attending a matinee.”
“I can see that.” I turn toward him as ads play on the screen. “Not to bring down the mood, but I feel like we need to talk about what happened at camp.”
“Sure,” he says. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Can I ask what made you change your answer?”
“I had a conversation with Mika,” he says, growing serious. “We talked about our mom and his mental health. I explained to him the roadblock I’ve had with moving on with my life. He told me that he was going to be okay and promised he wouldn’t go to that dark place again, and if he felt like he was going to, he would tell me. So”—his Adam’s apple bobs—“with that behind me, I felt confident that I could move forward in my life too. Sanders actually helped me comprehend that I’d possibly inserted myself into Mika’s life as a crutch and that Mika might not need his brother in that capacity anymore. So we talked that through, and here I am.”
“But do you really think you’re ready for it?” I ask. “Because I don’t want you jumping into something that you’re not fully ready for.”
His lips turn up. “I knew you were going to say that. And I have a response for you. Yes, I am ready, and I’m going to have a lot of fun proving that to you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
He boops me on the nose. “Let me figure that out, and you just sit back and enjoy the ride.”
“What does that mean?”
“That means”—he leans forward, cupping my chin—“you relax and enjoy.” He kisses my lips softly and then leans back and tosses more popcorn in his mouth.
“I really wasn’t expecting that twist at the end,” Wilder says as he walks me up to my door.
I pause and turn to him. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. Wait, were you expecting it?”
“Wilder, the entire time, they alluded to it.”
“No, they didn’t,” he says playfully.
“Uh, yes, they did. It was so obvious. Honestly, one of the worst twists ever executed.”
His eyes widen. “You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“No, I’m not kidding,” I say. “Seriously, one of the worst.”
He shakes his head and grips my hips, the playful man that I knew at Camp Haven taking over. “Wow, I’m going to need to remember this. She’s hard to impress, folks.”
I chuckle and then say, “Do you want to come in?”
He winces. “God, yes, but I’m not going to.”
“You’re not?” I ask, feeling sad from his answer.
“Nope, I’m not. Because if I go in there, I can’t promise you that I won’t somehow find my hand up your shirt. And then if my hand goes up your shirt, that will lead to me playing with your seriously sexy tits, which then of course would lead to so much more, which would be amazing, trust me, but I have a process here. A process that I’m trying to work through.”
“Okay,” I say, my brows pulling together in confusion.
“Don’t worry. It’s a good process,” he says and takes a step forward. He kisses my forehead gently, then continues, “I do have a question for you though. One that I would love for you to answer.”
“Okay. What is it?”
He squeezes me tight and says, “When you were with Matt, what was one thing that made you sad when you were together?”
“Why are you asking that?”
He tugs on me. “Trust the process, babe.”
Unsure of where he’s going with this, I say, “Okay, um, one thing that made me sad when I was with Matt was…I guess he never complimented me, even when I dressed up.”
He nods and softly says, “You deserve better.” Then he leans down and kisses me. He pulls away, takes his phone from his pocket, and hands it to me.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Going to need a selfie with you for my wallpaper.” He winks, and for some reason, when I take his phone, it’s the first time I notice he’s still wearing the bracelet I made him.
“You’re still wearing your bracelet.”
He glances down at it, playing with the elastic string. “Yeah, of course I am.” He looks up at me. “This bracelet says you’re mine. Why would I take it off?”