Time Stops With You

Chapter 19

Nineteen

CULLEN

Nardi’s behavior is extremely puzzling and I have no idea how to approach her. She’s been sullen, snappy, and serious the entire afternoon.

At this point, my very presence annoys her. It seems everything I say can be used against me, so I choose not to say anything.

But that’s the wrong strategy.

My silence only makes her looks darker and her words sharper.

What was supposed to be a fun evening of getting her cast removed and then going out for dinner or coffee in celebration is quickly running off the rails.

My head swings back to Nardi while I drive. She catches me looking and frowns at me as if I insulted her and offended her entire family.

Shaken, I focus on the road again.

Women are a total mystery to me, but Nardi Davis is on a whole other level.

What did I do wrong?

With a sigh, I look at Josiah in the rearview mirror. His eyes dart up at that moment and he offers me a warm smile.

I smile back, hoping he keeps his promise of not mentioning my upcoming ‘trip to Mars’ to anyone. Josiah is a relatively sheltered kid, so he won’t pick up on what that means, but Nardi will know exactly what I was saying to her brother.

I have no idea how she’ll take it.

After what happened in the hospital lobby, I feel she’s been getting more and more uncomfortable with the reality of my death.

Guilt tugs on my heart.

You’ll ruin her if you keep hanging around her, boy. You want to fail at life and at love like your old man?

I inhale deeply and squeeze the steering wheel tighter. That negative voice has been getting louder and louder in my head.

But good ole’ dad’s not the only one fueling my thoughts. The doctor’s three-week deadline is a constant warning, and the pressure to tie up loose ends has been steadily increasing.

I’m not ready to let go of Nardi yet.

More time.

That’s all I’m asking for.

I just want more time with her.

“Cullen, slow down.” Nardi’s hand impulsively latches onto my bicep. “You’re speeding.”

My eyes stray to the speedometer and I’m stricken with panic when I see the number. I hadn’t realized I’d been moving that fast.

“Sorry.” I slam my foot on the brakes, making the car lurch.

“Do you always drive like a madman?” Nardi questions, twisting around to check on Josiah who’s nonchalantly tapping on his phone.

“I’m sorry. That’s never happened before. I’ll be more careful.”

Nardi’s expression softens as she takes in my befuddled response. “Are you nervous about something?”

“No.”

“Is it the pills?”

I avoid her gaze and lick my lips. I’m on strong medication and it’s been affecting my concentration lately. At times, it’s like a cloud settles on me and I don’t remember what I was doing. Sometimes, I lose my train of thought in the middle of speaking.

One of the reasons Sara and I are so in sync is because I’ve been relying on my assistant more and more. There are times I hand over a task to her and I don’t remember that I did. And other times, I’ll demand she send me a file that she sent already.

It’s frightening to feel like my own body is betraying me.

I was in a lot of pain after my surgery and, while I was receiving treatments, I was always tired. But my mind was never jumbled. Cullen Tech forged a partnership with Sullivan’s company and I was able to work on the PLP project from a hospital bed.

This is different.

And it scares me.

What if I accidentally wipe the entire mainframe of the PLP project? What if I input a code that corrupts the core program? As the owner of Cullen Tech, I have the power to override the entire system, but maybe I shouldn’t be the one to hold that power. Not anymore.

Reluctantly, I pull the car to the side of the road.

Nardi’s head swivels to me. “What’s wrong? Did the car break down?”

“Maybe you should drive,” I say, not looking at her.

Nardi gives me a thoughtful look and then clicks out of her seatbelt. Shame keeps my eyes on the ground as I pass her at the hood of the car, but I swallow back my discomfort. The people in this car are too important for me to let my pride override common sense.

Nardi buckles in and starts driving.

We get to the apartment without further incident and Nardi turns to her little brother. “Josiah, go upstairs and check if mom needs help with anything.”

“Yeah.”

“Later, Josiah,” I say.

Her brother looks at me. “Remember to keep your promise.”

I nod.

Nardi narrows her eyes in suspicion. I subtly gesture for Josiah to make a run for it before Nardi can drag the truth out of him. He picks up on my quiet instruction right away and darts out of the car.

“What’s with all the secrecy?” Nardi asks, handing my keys over to me.

I face her, wishing I could read her thoughts. “What’s been bothering you all day?”

“We’re not going to play this game again, Cullen.” She folds her arms over her chest.

“What game are we playing?” I ask, confused.

“You keep answering my questions with totally different questions.”

“It’s a programming thing,” I tell her.

She frowns. “That’s no excuse to dodge my questions.”

“No.” I chuckle. “My promise with Josiah. It’s a programming thing.”

Nardi searches my eyes, but that’s close enough to the truth that I don’t squirm. She must be satisfied with what she sees in my expression because she backs off.

I arch a brow. “Aren’t you going to answer my question?”

“Nothing’s been bothering me.” She turns her face away. “I’m perfectly fine.”

That’s a full-out lie, but I can’t force the truth out of her, so I let it go unchallenged.

Reaching over, I take her arm and turn it over, inspecting her healed wrist. Because it was wrapped away for so long, this arm is a lighter brown than the other.

Nardi tries to free her hand, but I have a firm grip.

“Nardi,” I say quietly.

“What?”

“Don’t get hurt when I’m not here.”

She freezes.

I look up and find her blinking rapidly. She composes herself and tugs her hand away. “When are you going to the hospital?”

I raise both eyebrows this time.

Nardi leans forward slightly. Her brown eyes fix on me. “You said you’d see a doctor. You said you’d go if I wanted you to.”

I did say that.

Carefully, I admit, “I do have an appointment.”

Her words escape on a hurried breath. “When? I’ll go with you.”

“It’s in two weeks.”

She frowns, and I can see her mind working the calculations. “Two weeks? Isn’t that too long of a wait? You keep getting chest pains. I think you should see a doctor before then.”

I shake my head. “I’m managing with the medication.”

“I don’t think you should wait,” she argues.

“Nardi—”

“Cullen,” she surprises me by moving to her hands and knees and crawling over the console space. Nardi sets her hands on my legs, one on each thigh, “would you consider going back to the treatment center? And would you take me with you?”

I swallow hard. Even with the medication clouding my head, having her hands on me sends adrenaline rushing through my veins.

“Why…” I clear my throat because her face is too close and she’s too pretty and I can’t think, “why do you want to go with me?”

“Because.”

“Because?” My heart thuds loudly in my ears.

“Because I want to.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah.” She inches her hand further up my leg and places her lips on mine in a soft kiss. Easing back, Nardi whispers, “Don’t you want me to?”

I blink, stunned.

She traces her nail up my thigh. “Say yes and I’ll pay you back for the bathtub.”

Heat zings straight down to my pants. “Nardi.”

She reaches up, touches my face and draws my mouth to hers. I lean into the kiss, but not for long. Nardi’s hand on my face is trembling too hard and it’s a clue to her inner turmoil.

I slide my palm over her arm, moving upward until I get to her trembling fingers. Still kissing her, I join our fingers together, steadying hers. She realizes that her hand is shaking at that moment and quickly pulls it away to wrap it around the headrest instead.

I ease back from her, breathing erratically. Nardi’s eyes hold a desperate plea that causes my throat to close up.

“Are you in pain?” Nardi whispers.

“No,” I admit. The pain killers I took at the hospital are taking effect. But even if they weren’t, kissing Nardi is too much of a delight. I’d endure the agony to have one more taste of her lips.

“Then…” she chews on her bottom lip, “do we have a deal? You’re going to the hospital as soon as possible?”

I turn my face away, hoping that not looking at her will allow me to keep my wits about me. I can’t think clearly when she’s offering her body on a silver platter.

Nardi sees my struggle and moves fully into my lap. I inhale shakily when she sits herself right on top of me. If I slide her forward, I’ll be able to feel her exactly where I need her.

My hand settles on her hip and I dig my fingers into the delicate line of her waist to keep from dragging her closer.

This isn’t right, Cullen. You know you can’t agree to this.

I cast my eyes to her chest. Only a few scraps of clothing stand in the way of what I want.

Nardi’s plump lips are parted and they make a beautiful sight, glistening as they are from my kiss.

Damn, she’s gorgeous.

When her hair is straight, she’s devastatingly stunning. But like this, with her hair braided back and not a strand obscuring her high cheekbones, brown eyes, and perfect brown skin? I can’t help touching her, wanting her.

I curse under my breath, giving in for just a second. Sliding her over my jeans, I press my hard body against her soft one.

Nardi moans low in her throat and I nip at her bottom lip in response. There’s no need to be gentle now. Her wrist brace is off and the doctor said there’s no further injuries.

Grabbing her hands, I guide them to my shoulders and seek her out with my hips. Nardi digs her fingers deep into my shoulder blades as the car bounces on its wheels and the windows fog up from the heat of our bodies.

I kiss her and move with her until the world tilts on its axis.

My body trembles.

Heat envelops me like I’m snuggling with the sun.

My rocking hips go still.

I groan her name as stars fill my vision.

“One,” Nardi whispers in my ear.

My eyes widen. Nardi doesn’t stop though. She’s nuzzling my neck, placing kisses all the way up to my temple.

The air is hot and sticky.

So are my clothes.

In my inexperience, I thought the friction would take the edge off, but it only whipped my need to a frantic level. My resolve to tell her ‘no’ is weakening by the minute.

We need to have a conversation. With words not our bodies.

And yet, I coax her mouth open with my tongue, lean up and into her, and try to work off her jeans. Nardi grabs my hand and returns my hold to her hip.

“Today’s not about me,” she tells me before kissing me again.

Dazed, I can only kiss her back, totally hypnotized. Totally helpless against her unique, Nardi charm.

I never thought I’d love someone the way I love her. Never thought I’d crave someone the way I crave her.

I want her naked. I want her screaming. I want her wrung out and satisfied.

But Nardi’s on a mission. Her hand leaves my shoulder and finds something under my seat. A moment later, the chair whirs as it glides backward and eases to a reclining position.

It jerks to a stop suddenly and Nardi loses her balance, toppling over on me. Chest-to-chest and nose-to-nose, she smiles.

I hear my heart thumping in my ears.

That smile is such an angelic sight and yet, her eyes are filled with dark, wicked intentions.

I’ve got no defense.

I’m caught in her trap.

My entire body is throbbing with a need so tight that it feels like I’ll die if she gives the command.

“I have an idea.” Nardi rests her elbows on my chest as if she’s lying in a bed. “How about we make an appointment now?”

It takes me a second to figure out what she’s talking about and then it hits me. The hospital.

“Here’s your cell phone. Don’t worry. I won’t stop.” She forces the device into my hand and then scrambles up to a sitting position again. Her fingers fiddle with my zipper.

I grab her wrist, the reminder of the hospital knocking me out of my lustful haze.

“What?” she asks, her chest heaving.

I stare at her, seeing a desperation I don’t like in her pretty brown eyes.

Nardi drops her gaze first. “I’ll be quiet,” she promises and the loud rip of my zipper going down is a direct contrast to her promise.

I suck in a breath as despair spikes through me, screaming higher than the white-hot lust. There’s something about her tone and gaze that unsettles me. Something about this moment that feels rushed and manipulative.

This is my Nardi.

My precious, precious Nardi.

The woman who means everything to me.

And yet, this moment is devoid of connection. It reminds me of a cold exchange of sex for drugs. Only in this case, Nardi’s exchanging sex for my treatment.

The thought is sobering and I refuse to release Nardi’s hand when she tries to go after my pants again.

Her breathing is as erratic and shallow as mine. “What’s wrong?” Suddenly, her eyes fill with concern. “Is your chest hurting too much? Did we over-do it?”

Silently, I grab the lever at the bottom of the chair and set us both upright. Nardi frowns and climbs off me, settling back into the driver’s seat. I’m glad she takes that initiative because I didn’t have the will to push her away, even if that’s what I needed to do.

“How soon can you take another pain killer?” Nardi asks, her mouth swelling from my biting kisses.

I swallow hard and find my mind is blank. How do I tell Nardi that there’s no hope for me? How do I get her to understand that I am going to die and there’s nothing either of us can do.

“Cullen?” Nardi whispers.

“The doctor gave me three weeks,” I say abruptly.

“Huh?”

“To live, Nardi.” I turn and face her emotionlessly. My voice is cold, but that’s the only way I can tell her the truth. “I have less than a month left to live.”

Her jaw slackens. Her eyelashes bounce up and down.

It’s like I dropped a bomb on her. But there’s more than just surprise in her expression. I see pain.

So much pain.

And I kick myself for letting us get to the point where hearing about my death hurts her.

“But you,” she licks her lips and I can tell her thoughts are rushing faster than she can catch them, “you can see another specialist. Or there might be a clinical trial you can sign up for. An experimental drug. Another surgery?—”

“I can’t do that.”

Her eyes dart back and forth. “You can’t. Or you won’t?”

“Nardi,” I sigh, “there may be a solution out there, but I don’t want to waste the last of my life chasing after something that may or may not work.”

“But you can’t just give up. ”

“I’m not giving up. I’m fighting to leave a legacy behind. That’s what you and Josiah are. You’re the reason I lived. You’re the reason I can die fulfilled.”

She squeezes her eyes shut as if I slapped her. “You talk as if everything is final, but you haven’t even tried. If you’d told me you’d already done a clinical trial, if you said you’d already traveled the world to see other doctors, if you’d truly exhausted every avenue, I wouldn’t be like this.”

“I don’t want to participate in a clinical trial. I don’t want to travel the world.”

“Not even for me?” Nardi asks, lifting her tear-filled eyes to mine.

My chest squeezes and squeezes. I pinch my lips together, finding it hard to speak.

“I’ve always wanted to orchestrate my life and death in my own way. I was decided. I was sure.” I glance at her and with a choked breath admit, “You made me waver, Nardi.”

“But I wasn’t enough to convince you.”

I say brokenly, “I’m sorry, Nardi.”

Hurt crystalizes in her brown eyes. “You said you loved me.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. You’re a liar and a coward.”

I flinch at the accusation.

“Do you know how selfish you are? You blew into our lives and you kept pushing and pushing until you became a part of us. You made my brother trust you and love you. You made me fall for you—” She shudders. “Now you just want to peace out and die? Have you ever thought that Josiah needs you around more than he needs the promise of your company in the future? Have you ever thought that I need you!”

The agony in my chest isn’t from the disease ravaging my body. It’s from the hole in my heart. “This is why I asked you to hate me,” I whisper. “I didn’t want this to happen, Nardi. I really didn’t.”

“You’re right. This is my fault. I’m the one who didn’t follow through on our deal.” She inhales deeply, tears brimming in her eyes.

Suddenly, she flings her door open.

Alarmed, I reach for my door handle too, but a sudden, striking pain hits my chest. It’s the same pain I felt the day Jenna and Sara rushed me to the hospital.

Pushing past the extreme discomfort, I pull on the handle and wrench my shoulder against the door to push it open.

“Nardi,” I call. Standing makes me woozy so I lean against the car instead. “Wait.”

She spins around, her braids flying behind her. “I’ll return the share agreement and all the other documents back to your office. Tell Roger that my wrist is fine now so we don’t need a chauffeur. I’m driving myself.”

“Nardi,” I take a pained step forward.

Anger beams from her eyes and yet I can see the redness from the tears she’s holding back. “I really am sorry that I couldn’t hold up my end of the deal, Cullen. But if it helps any, I hate you right now more than I ever have before.”

I struggle to stay upright. There’s so much I want to say. But I don’t have any words. And the truth is, words don’t matter.

I’m dying.

Soon.

Nardi storms up the stairs while I squeeze my eyes shut and clutch my chest. I’m not sure if it’s the emotions making me hurt or the pain pills losing effect, but I can feel the strength leaving my body.

“Whoa,” a voice says.

I look up and find Big T standing in front of me. He’s got a gym bag over one arm and a grocery bag in the other.

“Man, you good?” Big T asks. “Need me to call an ambulance or something?”

I shake my head.

“Look, I want you to drop dead more than anybody, but Nardi won’t be happy if her fiancé kicks the bucket.”

He has no idea.

“Let me drive you to the hospital.”

“I’m not going to the hospital,” I grind out.

“Go home then. Or I can call Nardi down here.”

“No, don’t call her.” I point to the office. “I’ll be fine if I get in there.”

Big T tries to help me walk, but I shake him off and limp to the office on my own while the giant man hovers behind me.

After I press my finger to the scanner and the door opens, I turn to Big T and reluctantly thank him.

“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Nardi,” he mumbles, looking away.

He means that.

In that moment, I realize that Nardi won’t be sad for long. There will be plenty of men eager to soothe her broken heart after I’m gone.

The thought should comfort me.

Instead, I grit my teeth and push the door.

“Hey,” Big T says.

I twist my head a little, refusing to turn fully around.

“I heard you own this building.”

My shoulders tense, and I don’t respond.

“I heard it was you who lowered the rent and put in that elevator so people don’t have to take those bogus stairs.”

“What’s your point?” I snap.

“Did you do all that for Nardi?”

I look away.

Big T grunts. “I’m not gonna say thank you or anything.” He backs away. “But since you seem to be coming around more, I won’t step on Nardi anymore, so you don’t have to worry.”

He starts to walk away.

“Big T,” I say clumsily.

He stops and looks at me.

“Even if I stop coming around,” my eyes darken, “stay away from Nardi.”

I skip Darrel and Sunny’s party on Sunday. On Monday morning, my employees file in to work. I hear them, but I have my blinds down which is an effective ‘do not disturb’ sign.

Asad and Dr. Young knock on the door and ask about me.

I ignore them.

It’s Sara who finally dares to enter the lion’s den. She finds me in my office, working away like a madman.

“Oh my gosh, Cullen! What happened in here?”

I stop typing and look at her. Then I look around. There are crushed energy drink bottles at my feet and rolling around my desk. Crumpled paper balls with my scribbled ideas are intermittently scattered in the mess.

A glance at my reflection in a computer monitor reveals a beard forming around my upper lip. Scrubbing a hand down my cheek, I feel the hair there and realize that I probably look as messy as my office.

Sara picks past the mess of cans and sets her hand against my powerful desktop computer.

“Ouch!” She yelps and yanks her hand back. “Cullen, this CPU is piping hot. Have you been working in here all weekend?”

I peer at the light coming from the windows in my office. “Have I?”

“You hate being dirty.” She rushes around, picking up the mess of bottles. “How were you sitting in here like this? And you shouldn’t be drinking energy drinks with your medication.” She stops. “Have you not been taking your meds?”

“If you’re going to nag, go outside.”

Sara’s lips pin together. “What is wrong with you? Are you trying to shorten the little time you have left?”

I stare up at her, annoyed.

“Why didn’t you go home?” she insists.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep even if I did go home,” I mumble.

“The last place you should be right now is here working.” Her voice cracks. “I know you’ve made your decision, but you should be traveling or bungee jumping or eating ice cream or doing things you actually want to do.”

“I’d rather be here than anywhere else in the world,” I tell her.

“Why? Do you love work that much?”

“Nardi’s in this building,” I mumble, my eyes sliding to the computer monitor on my left.

Sara’s heels tap against the ground as she hurries around my desk to see what I’m looking at. The moment she catches sight of the security feed of Nardi’s front door, she gasps.

Covering her mouth, Sara hisses, “Are you stalking Nardi?”

“I’m not stalking her.” I lift my chin a notch. “She hasn’t left her apartment all weekend, so I haven’t seen her at all. That’s not stalking.”

“Did you two break up?” Sara asks.

“No,” I snap.

We’d have to have been dating to break up. And while it’s clear we both have feelings for each other, we’re not officially together.

Sara shakes her head slowly. It seems like she intends to hang around.

“I was in the middle of something,” I tell my assistant, pointing to the door.

She scowls. “Yeah, I’m leaving. Oh, before I forget, this was delivered to your mailbox.” Sara sets a document down on the desk.

I ignore it.

“Well, I guess… let me know if you need anything.”

I pretend to tap on my keyboard until the door clicks shut. When she’s gone, I lift the package. It’s the same packet that I gave to Nardi via Roger.

After a few deep breaths, I open it. All the documents are here and unsigned. Nardi returned everything I gave her.

I look past the share transfer agreement to the marriage application form.

Pain strikes my chest again. It’s been happening more and more lately. The doctor told me to expect it. As my body shuts down and my cells turn against themselves, many of the functions I take for granted will make day-to-day living difficult.

Woodenly, I roll open my drawer and grab my medication. Chasing the pills back with another energy drink, I blink rapidly to soothe the dryness of my eyes.

Thoughts of Nardi hurt worse than the pain in my chest. Hoping to numb myself to the world, I go back to work on the simulation.

I’m this close to having it ready for the board presentation. The meeting was scheduled for this week, but Sullivan wanted me to rest so he wrangled a two-week extension.

There’s no way I’ll be able to attend that meeting. So, I want the work to be as close to perfect before I hand it over to Asad and Dr. Young.

In the corner of my eye, I see movement from the apartment’s entrance. Pointing all my focus there, I stare at Mrs. Davis as she closes the door gently behind her and waddles down to the front door of my company.

Shocked, I lurch out of my seat and rush down the hallway.

“Mrs. Davis,” I gasp, skittering to a stop in the lobby.

Nardi’s mom glances at me and I expect her to smile, but she doesn’t. Her somber expression makes my ribs tighten around my heart.

“Mr. Cullen,” my receptionist says nervously.

“It’s okay, Glennice.” I wave a hand. “She’s with me.”

Mrs. Davis clutches her purse tightly. “Cullen, do you have some time? I’d like to speak to you in your office.”

I think of the security feed pointed at her daughter’s door.

“The conference room is better,” I suggest. Once we arrive there, I pull out a chair for her and ask, “Would you like something to drink?”

“No, this won’t take long.” She balances her purse on the chair but doesn’t sit.

Since she’s standing, I do too.

Awkwardly, I ask, “H-how’s Nardi?”

“Trying her best to act normal when she’s hurting, but I’m her mother. She can’t fool me.” Mrs. Davis pauses. “To answer your question, she’s not doing well.”

My stomach churns. It feels like she just punched me in the throat. “Is she sick?”

“Why are you asking as if you don’t know? She’s heartsick.”

Averting my eyes from hers, I murmur, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I swallow hard.

Her quiet voice wafts through the room. “It was you who helped me get my visa after years of being denied, wasn’t it?”

My eyes wander to the ceiling. I may have used my government connections to pull a few strings at immigration. Not enough to break any laws but just to show that Mrs. Davis had a sponsor in the States.

“If you’d stopped there, I wouldn’t have been any wiser. But then you had to pay for my flight.”

“I didn’t?—”

“Cullen, I may be old but I’m not an idiot. That email from the airline claiming I won a raffle I never entered was far too convenient.” She smiles sadly. “When I spoke to Josiah, he often mentioned that there was a famous programmer at his school. I thought you were a teacher who was invested in mentoring him, but when I found out it was you, I realized that you’d have both the means and the motive to bring me here.”

I clear my throat. “Mrs. Davis?—”

“You wanted me to come for Nardi, didn’t you?”

I remain silent, my eyes on the ground.

“This sickness you’re suffering from, you aren’t going to get better.”

It’s not a question, so I don’t answer it.

“Does Nardi know?”

“She found out this weekend,” I say.

Her eyes drill into me. “And Josiah?”

“He doesn’t know, but I did mention that I was going on a long trip.”

She bobs her head. “If you knew that you weren’t going to survive, why did you take Nardi to the hospital? Why are you still hanging around my children?”

“I…” I raise my head to look her in the eyes as I say, “Josiah is like the son I never had. He’s incredibly bright and I want the best for him and his future. And Nardi…”

“What about Nardi?” She challenges.

“I love her.”

“Love,” Mrs. Davis snorts. “Love is the reason my daughter walks around like a ghost with tear-stained eyes? Love is the reason you look like death warmed over? This torture is what you call love? ”

I swallow hard.

“If you knew you weren’t going to stay, you shouldn’t have started anything with her in the first place. Do you think Nardi’s a robot? Do you think Josiah’s a computer you can command at will?”

“No, of course not.”

“You treat them like tools you can use and then throw away when you’re done with them! Are they that worthless in your eyes to be discarded so cruelly?”

A lump forms in my throat and tears press the back of my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. “I’m sorry.”

There’s nothing else I can say. Nothing I can do to fix this.

“I know you have your own issues. You didn’t ask to be sick. I’m sorry for that too, but I’m a mother.” She smacks her chest and it thuds loudly in the silence. “When my child cries, I cry. When she breaks, I break. I’ve seen Nardi fall apart before and I don’t want to see that ever again.” Mrs. Davis breathes out shakily. “Did she tell you? About the boy she chased all the way to America?”

Slowly, I nod. “She said they were engaged.”

“They weren’t just engaged. They thought they were pregnant.”

Surprise knocks me back a step.

Mrs. Davis continues flatly. “The pregnancy tests came back negative, but Nardi was so sure it was a baby. She went to the doctor to confirm, thinking they’d see something in her blood. The tests came back positive… for fibroids. They needed to remove her womb. But that silly girl refused to get surgery because she’d lose Malcolm if she ever told him she couldn’t have kids.”

My eyes dart back and forth. Just imagining Nardi going through that difficult journey alone destroys me.

“What happened?” I whisper.

“The pain got worse and she was rushed to the hospital. They performed the surgery to save her life. And then Malcom left her.”

I clench my teeth hard enough to crack them right out of my gum. The urge to find Malcom and break his neck rises in me.

“She lost everything that day and she was never the same. Never.” Mrs. Davis shakes her head slowly. “But she got through it somehow. She pulled through all on her own.”

“Nardi’s strong,” I croak, fighting to breathe evenly.

Mrs. Davis’s eyes sharpen. “Strong doesn’t mean she’s unbreakable. Nardi’s more fragile than she lets on. Losing you…” Her voice trembles. “You’re going to put weight on glass that’s already been shattered once.”

For a long, long time, silence stretches between us.

I hear Mrs. Davis’ heels clicking on the tiles as she draws closer to me. “Is there any hope that you can stay alive,” she pleads. “Any at all?”

In that moment, I wish I could say yes.

For Nardi.

For Josiah.

For this family I interfered with and ruined.

“No,” I whisper.

With a firmness in her voice that speaks of resolve, she tells me, “Then don’t hurt Nardi any more than you already have.”

“How do I do that?” I ask hoarsely.

“Right now, she’s living with empty, useless hope. Take that hope away from her. Be as ruthless as you can.”

My head whips up and a protest dangles on my lips.

Mrs. Davis lifts a hand to stop me. “It’ll hurt. It’ll destroy her, but I’d rather you break Nardi’s heart now instead of later.”