30. Shattuckite
Scrolls are sprawled across my desk, along with measuring instruments and the two books that Estela brought from Zlosa. She gave them to me to translate.
Currently, Vann sits at my side while I work.
“Fektir is an old man full of demands. First, he wants me to make Aska a queen. Then, we must destroy the Enduares to gain access to their caves and wealth, and finally I shall make my reign the richest dynasty the giants have seen in years. Fektir sees us as the most powerful people in the land and sees me as a vessel for his immortal honor. I don’t trust him, but he’s the only way I can sustain my crown,”I read off.
Vann shakes his head. “He’s a fool.”
“A dangerous fool who plots for our annihilation,” I say darkly.
“I look forward to his death, and I hope it is a fitting end to such an awful beast,” Vann says.
I look up from the book and push my glasses further up the bridge of my nose. “Are you still displeased that I didn’t bring you with me to see the elves?”
He snorts.
“I don’t think my memory is that long.” He brushes a scroll filled with my calculations of Iravida’s ruins. “However, since you’ve brought it up, you plan to take me with you to the ocean?”
I grunt.
“And after? Will you be taking me to march on the giants after we find the artifact?”
I narrow my eyes in mock irritation.
“Svanna already spoke with me. She thinks that she and Lothar would be better at protecting the cave for the stretches of time where we will be gone. Not that she didn’t enjoy working with you, but she thinks I need the extra support. I tend to agree.”
The words are blunt, but Vann smiles.
“I like tending to the cave, but there’s something about the possibility of death that puts me more at ease at your side. I don’t know if you should be going on this mission.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were worried about me while I was gone,” I say, nudging his shoulder.
“Immensely,” he says without humor. But then I see the tell-tale curl of the corner of his lip. “You and I have fought together since we were children. I half expected you to lose all your instincts without your good luck charm.”
“Is that supposed to be you?”
He nods.
“I was there the day that Qa’Velo decided to challenge you at the academy, and at the battle of kings, not to mention the day the volcano spilled over land and swallowed our home whole…” He trails off, remembering such bitter days, but the sadness quickly flashes away. “I was also there the day you found Estela and stole her away.”
“Perhaps you do have a certain penchant for saving my life and witnessing my pivotal moments,” I say with a laugh.
He raises an eyebrow. “Is that an apology for leaving me behind to visit the elves?”
I scowl at him.
“No. I stand by choosing those companions, and I am glad that you stayed home with… the others.” I lean back in my seat, studying Vann’s face. He has purple bruises under his eyes that I haven’t noticed before. Asking him about Arlet outright has proved fruitless, so I try a different approach. “Did you at least spend time with the court while I was gone?”
He grunts. “Yes. Though, I came here to talk to you about Turalyon’s brother. He held a private service without inviting… anyway.”
It’s clear that I won’t get any more about his time in Enduvida while I was absent, so I open up about myself instead.
“It was… difficult to speak to them. It was an accident as he wandered far from the protection of our camp. I shouldn’t have brought him, but our choices were limited. He was essential in finding the sisterhood. Lothar was still unconscious from the attack.”
Vann nods slowly. “Perhaps you’re right. I only wish that I hadn’t been confined here without anyone to speak to.”
There it is. He kept to himself. While I genuinely believe he was the best defense to keep in the cave, another part of me wanted him to go to Arlet. Perhaps without my watching him, he would seek comfort in her.
Glad to see I was damned wrong.
A few of Estela’s thoughts filter over the bond, but I close them off when I realize she wasn’t speaking to me, but a small child.
“I saw Arlet and Joso volunteering in the school. She’s been teaching the little Enduares the human tongue,” I say carefully.
He meets my gaze.
“I know what you’re doing. When I say I didn’t have anyone to speak with, I didn’t mean about Firelocks.”
“I think you are denying the feelings you have for her, and it is hurting both of you,” I say with finality.
He looks at me for a long time, but I can tell that his focus isn’t really on my face. He’s far in the past.
“Arlet is a good person. She’s sweet and kind to every single person in the caves, humans and Enduares alike... Joso is blessed to share his time with her,” he says.
I pause.
“I like both of them, but I don’t know if I like them together. She was interested in you before he swept her up.” A part of me is glad that he is finally sharing with me, so I choose my words carefully.
Vann opens his mouth, and then closes it.
“You are still too angry to admit how you feel about her, aren’t you?” I ask.
His eyes darken. “I’m not?—”
“Angry? You are. It comes out in everything that you do related to her. Do you not think that your late betrothed would want you to be happy?” I ask.
Vann could easily be a statue. “I came to you to help run your calculations about Iravida, not talk about women.”
I let out a mirthless laugh. “I am your brother. Can you fault me for worrying about you?”
“Yes,” he says bluntly.
A true laugh flows from my gut to my mouth. When his easy grin fades, a new question pops into my mind.
“What if you are her mate, denying both of you happiness? Is that not selfish?”
He looks thoughtful again, and I’m glad he isn’t snarling at me over the insinuation.
“Even if we were, I would never know. My heart…”
Tilting my head to the side, I wait for him to continue.
When he doesn’t, I say, “Come now. Your heart is fine.”
He gives me a strange look. Something stirs deep in my gut—the same premonition I had before when I was leaving to visit the elves.
“What have you done?”
Vann stands up abruptly.
“Nothing recently,” he says with a smirk. “Now, I’m off to work on the hunting schedule with Lothar.”
“Vann—” I start, but he brushes out of the library.
I let out a frustrated sigh, only to see Arlet standing in the doorway.
She looks at me with wide eyes.
I push out of my seat.
“Arlet. Hello. Is everything all right?”
She blinks.
“Why were you speaking about me?” she demands.
My tail swishes behind me.
“I—You’d have to ask Vann,” I say.
Her mouth tightens. “No, I don’t think I will. He wouldn’t tell me even if I did.”
“How much did you hear?”
“I heard you say that he has been denying his feelings for me,” she grits out, her red hair stark against her pale, freckled face.
I press my lips together. “I’m really not the one to speak about this with.”
She takes a deep breath and steps further into the light, revealing her intricately woven outfit. One she made, no doubt.
“I came to tell you that Estela was looking for you. But then I heard… Vann.” She wrings her hands. “Vann hates me.”
I give her a sad smile. “Vann hates many things, but you are not one of them.”
Her eyes grow wider, then she turns on her heel and rushes away.
I sit there for a minute, hoping that Vann won’t come to pound in my skull.