Holding On – HL Miller #4
I glance at Emmy, guilt creeping in. “Can you cover for me on Friday? I can probably log in at some point, while Micah is at the practice facility, if you need me to modify the report after you get the feedback.”
Emmy shakes her head. “I’ve got it. Just enjoy your trip.”
“Thanks.” I end the call with my roommates and stare at the flight info on my phone. A whisper of unease settles in as my finger hovers over the button to send it to Micah. One weekend might not be enough to fix what’s unraveling between us. But I force that nagging fear away and I send the text.
Micah: Awesome! I’ll buy it now. Can’t wait to see you on Thursday! I’ll pick you up.
Abby: Can’t wait to see you too!
My phone vibrates with a text in our roommate chat, and an image of a large box of condoms fills the screen.
Kayla: I can overnight these if you need them. Micah must be horny A.F. after a month of no action.
Janelle: I’ll send lube.
I roll my eyes and shove my phone away. My roommates are too much sometimes.
Emmy says, “Want to come over tonight? We can watch a movie or something. I’ll tell Grey to hang out with the guys so we can have girl time.”
It means a lot that my friend would give up time with her boyfriend to make me feel better. “Sure, sounds like fun.”
We turn back to the report, and for the first time in weeks, my heart is lighter. I’ll be with Micah again soon.
MICAH
A lazy grin tugs at my lips as the rush fades, my body still humming.
Fuck, I’ve missed this. I nuzzle Abby’s cheek, my fingers tracing slow, lazy patterns over the soft, bare skin of her side.
The weight of her against me, especially after watching her fall apart, steadies me.
Nothing beats reconnecting and making up for lost time with my favorite girl.
When I saw her at the Minneapolis airport, a sharp pain filled my chest, the ache of her absence hitting me all at once.
I brush her hair aside. “I’m so glad you came for the weekend. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have seen each other for two more weeks.”
Abby slips away, rolling onto her side and tugging the blanket up to her chest. She clutches the fabric, shoulders curled inward. Those deep brown eyes, usually so full of fire, dim as they flicker with hurt. “I couldn’t wait until Seattle. I’ve missed you terribly.”
Guilt knots in my stomach, pushing away the last bit of my high. “Me, too.” My voice sounds weak, even to me. I’ve missed Abby, but I’ve been too busy adjusting to spare her time.
I’ve been so wrapped up in football, I didn’t realize how much I was neglecting her.
Since the draft, my world has been a blur of playbooks and practices, all while trying to prove I deserve to be the starting quarterback for the Northmen.
I push through the grind every day, barely dragging myself to bed before it all starts again.
No time for anything but football and surviving the NFL.
I clear my throat. “Sorry I haven’t made enough time for you. Training camp has been crazy.”
Abby never complains, so I assumed she was fine.
She has her internship and life in L.A., and I thought that kept her busy and satisfied.
The tight set of her mouth and the way she won’t meet my eyes tell me I messed up.
She’s not okay. I’ve been so caught up in this new world of football that I forgot what matters most. I’ve failed her.
Sliding my arms around her waist, I pull her close.
She’s stiff at first, but after a moment, she exhales and melts into me.
I kiss the top of her head and rub her back.
“I know I’ve been distant, and I’m sorry.
I fucked up shutting you out. I got so caught up in football, I didn’t even realize how bad I was messing things up with you. ”
Her breath catches and I hope I’m on the right track. My fingers weave through the silk of her hair. “Wish you could’ve been here this summer. We could’ve seen each other every day before you had to go back for fall semester.”
Abby pulls back, wrenching her head away. “You know I couldn’t. It was too late to find another internship after we knew where you’d be.”
A weight presses on my chest when she pulls on my discarded Northmen T-shirt, the distance between us unbearable.
Our careers are dragging us in separate directions, and I hate it.
We’re barely holding on. “I know, but it sucks being away from you. I want to share everything with you, but you’re not here. ”
“You could call me and tell me.” She pokes my chest, her touch light, but there’s an edge to her voice.
“I know.” I rub my jaw. “The time difference sucks, and our schedules never align. You’re not up yet when I’m free in the morning after I lift, and I have afternoon meetings when you’re available at lunch.
Then, I go to bed early, sometimes before you get home.
But I could start calling you on my way home from the facility. ”
Her brow lifts. “Why haven’t you?”
“I catch a ride with Reed after the evening meetings. He lives in the building, two floors down.”
She presses her lips into a thin line. “So, you’d rather talk to your backup quarterback than your girlfriend?”
“It’s not like that, Abby.” I grit my teeth. “He’s smart, experienced, and he’s been helping me a lot.”
She crosses her arms. “I get it, Micah. Football comes first. But when Grey hears from you every day and I go for days without even a call, it feels like I rank last. I need more from you.”
I hang my head, shame flooding my chest. She’s always been there for me, ever since we met, and I’ve been too blind to see how I’ve disappointed her since I was drafted.
I’ve been a terrible boyfriend. “I’m so sorry I failed you.
That’s not true at all. I’ll do better, I promise. We’ll talk every day from now on.”
She nods. “Okay.”
I press my lips to hers in a moment of tenderness before settling back against the pillows.
“I need something from you, too.” I trail my fingers down her arm, savoring the softness of her skin before lacing my fingers through hers.
Holding her hand, warmth spreads through my chest, a quiet pull of affection that is as natural as breathing.
Abby strokes her fingers against mine before settling into gripping them. “What do you need?”
I squeeze her hand. “I love having you here with me, and I want you here more often. You should come to all my games.”
She tilts her head, the corners of her lips tipping up. “Is that all? Travel every weekend?”
I give her my most persuasive smile. “We play in L.A. in October, so that’s one less trip.”
Abby bites her lip. “I won’t have much of a life at SCU if I’m never there.”
I clasp her thigh. I’m asking her to give up a lot during her senior year, but it’s the only way we’ll get through football season without the distance pulling us apart. “What would make traveling easier for you? We can figure out a way to make it less stressful.”
“It’ll be difficult with my classes.”
“Take one fewer class next semester. You’ll still graduate on time.”
She lifts an eyebrow. “How do you know that?”
“You logged into your SCU account on my laptop. I checked your academic progress report in between studying my playbook.” I smile, because this is one area where I haven’t failed as a boyfriend. “I even found a fall class schedule without Monday classes for easier travel. I’ll send it to you.”
She cups my jaw, her fingers catching on the stubble. “You put a lot of thought into this.”
I cover her hand. “I want us to make this work. We just have to get through the season, then I’ll come back to California for the off-season. You’ll graduate in the spring before we know it.”
I rub my neck. “Move in with me here after? I know Minnesota isn’t your first choice, but I’d love having you here.”
Abby’s eyes widen as she clutches her chest. “You want us to live together?”
I kiss her lips, unable to resist her sweet surprise. “Yes, of course I do. I thought you knew that. That’s why I bought the condo you liked and the furniture you wanted.”
“I just thought we had similar tastes.”
I gesture to the headboard. “I don’t give a fuck about interior decorating. What I care about is you being happy.”
She breaks into a wide grin. “I’d love to move in with you.” She leans in and hugs me, her body soft and relaxed.
The contrast to earlier isn’t lost on me. I wrap her tightly in my arms. “I love you, Abby, and I want to build a future with you. I want you with me every step of the way in this new life.”
She kisses me, her lips softly caressing mine. “I want that, too, Micah.”
“Good. By next season, you’ll be a Minnesota resident.”
I get lost in kissing her back.
Over dinner, I ask Abby about her life. We’ve been focused on discussing my situation, but I need to pay more attention to hers. “How are things with your roommates?”
“Kayla and Janelle are being their usual selves, partying it up at home. I haven’t seen them much. I’ve been spending more time with Emmy.”
“How is she doing?” I shove a bite of chicken into my mouth. Getting a chef to make all of my meals with the exact macros I need was the best idea ever. Fortunately, Abby seems to like the food.
She smiles. “Emmy’s good. She’s plotting how to ask Grey to move in.”
I laugh. “Greyby is planning the same. Guess he hasn’t asked her yet.”
She giggles. “Of course they’re on the same page, without actually discussing it.”
I love seeing her happy like this, her lips curving up and her eyes glowing. The necklace I gave her at the draft sparkles as it catches the light of the setting sun.
Grey’s a lucky asshole for getting to live with his girl. Emmy will graduate right after he’s drafted next year. They won’t have to endure the separation that Abby and I have because of her being a year younger.
I take a sip of water. “Tell me about your internship. Do you like it?”