Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Morgan
My heart somersaults my chest.
Immediate panic.
"I…I can't. I can't." Tears spring to my eyes and I can't breathe.
Do you even know how you SMELL, Morgan? Who would want to put their face anywhere near THAT?
"Morgan? Hey…what's—what'd I say?"
I swing around and off of him, shaking my head. "Not—not you." It's all I can manage.
I should know better than to think he'd let it go that easily, though. He's behind me, wrapping me up in his arms and turning me to face him, cradling me to his chest. "Breathe, honey. Just breathe. We don't have to do anything you don't want to. That's something I enjoy, and I thought…"
I catch my breath. "Noah, I—"
"Can you talk about it? It's okay if not, but I'd like to understand."
Across the room, on a desk near the kitchen, his radio squawks. "Captain Austin?"
“Goddammit,” he sighs. "Sorry. One sec."
I pat his chest and step back, wiping at my eyes with the heels of my palms. "I need a second anyway."
He crosses the room naked, tight ass clenching and releasing with each step—my god, the man has a fantastic ass. Even in my distraught state, I can't help but want to go over there and sink my teeth into the thing like a feral animal.
Jesus, Morgan, get a grip.
"Go for Austin," Noah says, gazing absent-mindedly out the window.
"It's Doug," the other person says. "Albert just snapped his ankle and Conklin is out sick, and we were already short-staffed. I wouldn't call you in on your day off, but it's been busy and we need you."
Noah hangs his head, radio dangling at his side for a moment before he lifts it to his mouth and replies. "Understood. On my way."
"Sorry, Noah."
"All good, Dougie. Gimme thirty?"
"Sure thing, Cap."
With slumped shoulders, Noah turns toward me, setting the radio back on the desk. "Morgan, I—"
I cross to him. "Noah, the job has to come first. It's okay. Go. I understand, I promise."
His hands palm my ass, pull me up against him. "You're fucking incredible, Morgan," he murmurs. "I feel so goddamn lucky that we ran into each other on the ice that day. I feel like a new man when I'm around you."
My eyes burn. "God, just stop already,” I breathe. “You have to go, and if you keep being this sweet, I'm gonna have to suck your brains out again, and you don't have the time for that. Your men need you."
He rumbles a laugh. “Well shit, honey, don't threaten me with a good time." He turns serious, then. "About what I said a minute ago."
I take advantage of our physical proximity to mirror his pose, grabbing a double handful of his hard, muscular ass.
"I need time to process my feelings on that topic before I can talk about it, Noah. Obviously, we can't get into it now, and I can’t…” she sighs.
“I'm too mixed up about it right now anyway.
But suffice it to say that there's some seriously complicated feelings for me on that topic.”
Noah growls a sigh. "Meaning your dick-biscuit of an ex-husband said something to make you self-conscious about that, too."
I snicker. "Dick-biscuit, Noah? Really?"
He shrugs. "That's the nicest thing I could come up with. Never met the motherfucker so far as I can remember, but I'd like two minutes alone in a locked room with him."
“To do what?" I ask, eyebrow arched.
His expression is granite. "Unpleasant things, Morgan."
I cup his jaw. "Noah, I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but please hear me when I say that I would never want that.
Suffice it to say that I dated a man before Kevin who was…
violent. With others mostly, but with me sometimes.
" I cover his mouth. "It was a different lifetime and I'm fine, but even if Kevin was to show up one day, and even if he was talking shit to my face, I wouldn't want you to use violence against him unless it was absolutely necessary and there was no other solution.
You're not that man, and I don't want you to be. "
Noah nods. "I understand. I'm sorry. I'd never—"
"You'd protect me—you want to protect me. And that feels so good, Noah. More so than I can even say. Just…don't be like that, okay? Please? For me?”
Another nod. "You have my word." He closes his eyes, sighing. "I'm sorry, Morgan. I just…I can't handle the shit that man did to you. It makes me so angry."
"Instead of being angry," I say, scratching my fingernails along his jawline, "focus on helping me replace all that old painful stuff with new memories."
“Like this morning?"
I lean in, lift on my toes. "Yes, Noah. This morning has gone a very long way toward helping me heal." I nip his lower lip playfully. "I think I just need more of your medicine."
He growls, squeezing my bottom and then carving his hands up my back before cupping my face and kissing me deeply. When he pulls away, it's only enough to whisper. "That I can do."
"Good. Now go get ready. I'll see myself out."
"No you won't." He indicates the coffeepot. “You'll stay as long as you want. Have another cup of coffee. Take a shower."
"Another time, when you can stay with me.
For now, I should get home." I pause, look down at my feet.
"I'll try to sort my head and heart out, and hopefully, next time we see each other, I'll have the emotional space to get into my whole thing about…
y'know. What you wanted to do." I put my hand on his chest. "Right now, I just…
I want to focus on the amazing time I've had with you.
I want to just be happy. I…I really like you.
I really care about you. And I really, really want to spend more time with you. Both clothed and naked."
He gazes at me with obvious affection. "We can drop that topic forever, if you want. I don't want you to have to dredge up old wounds if they're better left in the past."
I shake my head. "Just…give me time, on that.
" I lift and kiss him quickly. "There are lots of other ways we can make each other feel good, in the meantime, right?
For now, you need to rinse off and get to work.
" I turn him by the shoulders and push him toward his bedroom, spanking his ass as he walks away. "Call me?"
"Every five minutes?" he teases.
"When you're done working, dork. Don't let me be a distraction."
“Too late for that," he says, winking at me over his shoulder. "All I do is think about you." He pauses in the doorway. “I'll text you when I can.”
He and his delectable backside vanish into his room, and a moment later I hear the shower going. I wish I could get in with him, but I know I can't.
I gather my very scattered clothing from various places around the room. I tug my thong on—and to be honest, I'll be glad to have real panties on because this butt-floss business is…just no.
I see Noah's phone on the island and decide that since I'm apparently going all in with Noah, I may as well keep having fun.
I open his front-facing camera and before I can think better of this impulsive decision, I snap a series of topless selfies for him in a few different poses.
I feel silly and dumb while taking them, but when I go back and swipe through the photos, I feel like I look okay enough.
Which I hope to god means he'll find them hot.
I plug his phone in, since he fell asleep last night before doing so, and then finish dressing.
It feels weird to just leave like this, but I already said goodbye. The reality is, I just don't want to leave.
I force myself out the door and to my car, let Cherry warm up, and head home.
Found your surprise just now.
It's twelve hours later, and this is the first I've heard from him. Not that I'm surprised or upset—it's his job, and it has to come first, no matter what.
Hopefully in private.
Yes. Now I just have to hope we don't get a call, because I'm gonna need a minute before I can walk. Or stand up.
How's the shift?
Busy but okay. Mostly a lot of weird minor stuff, thankfully. Better not say anything else or I'll jinx us.
I didn't take you for the superstitious type.
I'm not, generally, but I've been a firefighter for three decades and it's just a fact I can't explain that if you say it's a slow day, you'll get slammed, and if you say there's been no major calls, you'll get one. So I may not be superstitious as such, but I don't tempt fate.
Makes sense.
Have I mentioned how unbelievably gorgeous you are? I saved those photos to a hidden folder just to be safe, but trust me when I say I'll be looking at them every chance I get.
Well hopefully you'll be able to look at the real thing every chance you get. In person, I mean.
Nothing would make me happier.
You're sexy as hell, Noah. I know I sometimes have a funny way of saying things like that, but it's true. You're hot as hell, and I’m one lucky bitch.
Awww shucks.
Hey, that's weird.
Noah: What is?
I don't have any sexy pics of you yet. Hint hint.
Not a lot of privacy in a fire station, but I'll see what I can do.
You're pretty sexy in your uniform. Doesn't have to be spicy. Yet.
My phone buzzes a few minutes later, and I tap to enlarge the photo he sent me.
He's in a bathroom facing a mirror, wearing blue slacks and a tight blue Tomlin Falls FD T-shirt, a leather harness across his chest and around his waist, his radio clipped to his shoulder.
His arms are thick and rippling with muscle, stretching his sleeves to the point of absurdity.
Yummy. When are you done?
Unfortunately, not for a while yet. There's a stomach bug going around the station, and several of my guys are out sick, so we're running short-handed, which means I have to stay. Wish I had a better answer for you.
It's okay. It's your job. Have you eaten any real food yet? I could bring you something.
The delay in his response has me second-guessing my offer. A minute becomes two, then five, then fifteen. I try to tell myself he got a call but it's hard not to wonder if it was too much too soon.
I tell myself to wait. Don't be needy.