Chapter 24
Palmer
Iwas crumbling, collapsing under the weight of guilt.
We’d been driving for a long time and it took all my energy to keep myself together.
It was dark, and Hailey had fallen asleep in her booster seat, head tilted back so far I worried she’d get a sore neck.
She’d been surprisingly accepting of leaving for the safe house.
I think she was excited to see the family she’d desperately missed.
But she’d almost lost it when she found out she’d have to leave Phantom behind.
Roman said it was safer to leave the kitten in Ember Hollow so he wouldn’t get lost in an unfamiliar place.
Roman and I hadn’t spoken much at all since he’d confessed what had happened to his wife.
I swallowed the nausea thinking about it.
Roman had been at the dorm fire that night.
The rush of memories came over me: the fire, the smoke, the moment when I knew I was probably going to die…
and then the firefighter who came and dragged me from that hell.
I remembered his voice.
It had been Roman. That was clear to me now. He had left his wife that night—and he had saved me.
It was so much to process myself that I hadn’t been able to tell him. He had already seemed so shattered as he told me about Jessica, that I couldn’t bring myself to let him know the truth.
Everything was wrong, and I didn’t know what could be done to make it right. I hadn’t been with Roman for long, but he was already too important to me. So much so that the thought of losing him now was a gnawing ache in the pit of my belly.
My heart rate climbed at the thought of the serial killer alongside all of this.
The Shadow Stalker had been on the forefront of my mind since I came to the bed-and-breakfast, a constant thing to learn about and ponder as I did chores around the house.
Truth was, I didn’t expect him to return to Ember Hollow.
I hadn’t thought he’d come back to the town he ran from after escaping imprisonment.
But I supposed the man was more controlled by his impulses than his common sense. That much had become clear in my weeks of research about the killer.
“We’ll be there soon,” Roman said, taking me out of my thoughts.
I glanced at him. The tightness in his expression was barely visible in the darkness as he focused on the road. Both of his hands gripped the steering wheel.
My fingers itched to touch him, to sooth some of the tension from his body. But I wasn’t sure I deserved to touch him ever again.
What would he think of me when he knew the truth?
This was the same man who’d carefully washed my hair. The man who could walk through fire. The man who had walked through fire for me…but at what cost?
Part of me hated that I was leaving, because as much as I was guilty for surviving that night when Jess didn’t, I wanted to protect him too. Not leave him like this and run away.
“What?” Roman’s eyes bounced to me before returning to the road.
I blinked, shaking my head. He had noticed me staring. “Nothing.”
“Golden,” he grumbled that silly nickname, and I almost cried when I realized how much it meant to me already, “you can say it.”
I wasn’t sure when he got so good at reading me. “I’m just…” I took a breath. I couldn’t tell him. “I’m going to miss you.”
I sounded ridiculous. Desperate and needy.
Roman didn’t immediately reply. He didn’t offer me words of comfort or reassurance, and I didn’t think it was because he didn’t care. Maybe it was because he didn’t know.
All I could read on his face was a glimmer of regret.
I startled when his hand wrapped around my wrist. His thumb gently caressed my skin, avoiding the bandages on my hands.
A heat pooled low in my stomach, and no matter how much I wanted to ignore it, I couldn’t.
What did I think would become of him and me?
He was sending me away, and I didn’t know what things would be like when I came back.
Especially after he learned the truth. He wasn’t going to see me the same way, and I wouldn’t blame him.
“I’ll miss you too, Palmer.”
The silence returned, but he didn’t let go of my wrist.
Eventually, we pulled onto a dark rural road in the middle of nowhere by some nature trails. We were near the mountains now, at least I think we were, and though I was safe with Roman, the darkness and isolation made the hair on the back of my neck rise.
I didn’t even see the other vehicle until the headlights of Roman’s truck hit it.
Roman pulled up next to the black SUV, but he didn’t turn his truck off. He waited, not letting go of his hold on my wrist until two figures stepped out.
The nerves hit me all at once as I recognized the men. They were Roman’s brothers, August and Fox.
“Come on.” Roman opened his door.
I nodded, pushing mine open and stepping out into the cold darkness.
The two men standing near the SUV locked on me immediately. It was clear they were assessing me, and I fought the urge to shrink beneath their stares.
I lingered close to the truck until I felt Roman’s presence behind me. His body heat penetrated the biting winter air, and I turned to find him holding a sleeping Hailey against his chest.
He looked at me, and then down at his daughter before gently kissing her forehead. His face twisted with pain.
Roman had said his goodbyes to Hailey before we left Ember Hollow, but it still hurt my heart to see the distress written so plainly across his expression.
“Here,” I said softly, holding out my arms. “I’ll take her.”
Roman hesitated, then shook his head. “Your hands.”
I wrinkled my nose at the bandages, but I supposed he was right.
Together, we walked toward his brothers.
August, who was even more handsome in person, gave me a warm smile when we got close.
“Hey,” he said, the kindness in his voice surprising me. “I’m August. This is Fox.”
He nodded to his twin, who didn’t look much like him at all except for the gray eyes. His face was a blank mask, the exact opposite of August.
I gave them the best smile I could manage. “Hi, I’m Palmer.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” August grinned.
Fox merely nodded in acknowledgment.
“I would say it’s good to finally meet you as well, but considering the circumstances, that’s not exactly true.”
August chuckled low. “Fair enough.” He glanced at my bandages. “I’m sorry about everything that’s led up to this.”
I shrugged, not knowing what to say in response.
Fox stepped forward and silently took Hailey from Roman’s arms. His face, which had seemed so hard and unreadable, softened as he held her.
“She’ll be safe with us,” Fox told his oldest brother.
Roman nodded, though he seemed strangely lost with his empty arms.
August stepped closer to me. “You’ll be safe too, Palmer,” he murmured. “I’m not sure what my brother has told you, but if you come to the safe house, you will be protected.”
I nodded, even as another wave of apprehension rolled through me. I didn’t want to go, but staying felt like a betrayal.
Fox walked Hailey to the SUV and buckled her into a booster seat in the back.
August turned to Roman, patting him on the shoulder. “I think it’ll be a couple days yet before we’ll make it back to Ember Hollow. I have a few things I need to put into place at the safe house first.”
Roman nodded, dazed.
“You gonna be all right by yourself until then?”
Roman glowered. “I’ll be fine, little brother.”
August rolled his eyes. He was anything but little. He was almost as muscular as Roman.
“Right,” August drawled. “Just watch your back, old man.”
Roman huffed, but there was a hint of a grin at the corner of his mouth.
Before August walked away, he held his hand out toward Roman, who studied it briefly before his face softened. The two of them clasped hands, and then pulled each other into a quick, tight embrace.
It was raw and real and so brotherly, my heart swelled.
When they broke apart, August grabbed our bags and returned to the SUV. He put the two suitcases in the trunk before opening the driver’s side door and shooting me an expectant look.
I took a hesitant step toward him, but Roman grabbed my wrist.
His chest rose and fell in heavy pants, like he couldn’t catch his breath.
The SUV door closed behind me, and for a moment I wondered whether they would leave me. Perhaps I wanted them to.
Roman stepped closer, until our bodies were almost touching. His warmth wrapped around me; his familiar cedarwood and smoke scent filled my lungs and made my blood hum.
He kept one hand wrapped around my wrist, and with the other, he cupped my cheek.
“Stay safe,” he whispered.
My pulse thrummed.
“I should be saying that to you,” I whispered back.
He leaned closer, his eyes dropping to my mouth. My entire body tensed with anticipation, and fear. All I could think was that he didn’t know that he’d saved me that night…
“I’ll see you again,” he said with certainty. “But until I do, I want something to remember you.”
My breath caught as he lowered his face toward mine. He moved impossibly slow, like he was waiting for me to stop him at any moment.
I didn’t, even though I should have.
My mouth parted, and he was close enough I could practically taste him. My skin heated enough that the cold night was hardly a thought now.
Then, his lips touched mine.
They were soft at first, tentative and sweet.
But then my heart exploded with a feeling I could not contain.
What began as a gentle, exploring kiss deepened, growing hungry as our mouths moved together. I stepped closer, relishing every touch of his lips and brush of his tongue as we opened to each other.
He was big and solid. I felt small and fragile against him, like he could crush me if he wanted to.
But I knew he never would. I was safe with him. Secure.
I didn’t know how long we kissed like that, but eventually Roman groaned and pulled away, leaving the both of us breathless.
“I think we’ve given my brothers enough of a show,” he rasped.
I whimpered, only now remembering where we were. The reality slammed into me, making my heart pump even harder than it was.
I’d let him kiss me. I’d kissed him back as if I had a right to.
Tears sprang to my eyes, and Roman immediately frowned. His thumb was soft as it brushed away a tear from my cheekbone.
“What’s wrong, Golden?” he said softly, the concern in his tone crushing me. “Was that—not good for you?”
I made a choking sound, something between a sob and a laugh. Of course it was good.
“It was perfect,” I croaked.
Confusion creased his brow. “Then what is it?” He let go of my wrist, cupping my face in both his hands.
The tears continued to fall. This was the worst time to confess this, but I couldn’t leave without him knowing. After that kiss, he had to know.
I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to his as I wept. “Roman,” my voice broke, “I was in the dorm fire that night.”
He went perfectly still.
“I—I think that you saved me.”
He stared at me blankly for a few seconds that had my stomach twisting in knots.
“What?” he eventually said, his voice strained.
Roman wasn’t comprehending, His mind was turning, but the pieces weren’t fully in place and I wished I was able to explain myself better.
“The dorm fire,” I said, tears slipping continuously from my lashes. “It was my building that caught fire that night. It was old and I was planning on moving out the next school year…” I trailed off as he continued that blank stare.
“I’m so sorry. I was stupid and I tried to get to the stairs, but there was too much smoke and I—I couldn’t.
I thought I was going to die, Roman, and then—” A sob bubbled up from my chest because I didn’t know what he would think of me after this.
“You were suddenly there. You pulled me out of the fire and saved me.”
My vision swam, but I focused on him. It took a few more beats before his eyes widened, shock seeping in like a rising tide. His lips parted.
“You…you were in the dorm fire,” he said slowly, like it still didn’t make any sense.
I nodded.
His hands dropped from my face, and the cold night air slapped at my skin. I winced as he took a step back.
“You were in the fire,” he repeated, stunned.
There wasn’t anything I could say to make it better, so I stood there and cried, suffocating in the sorrow and guilt.
Vaguely, I heard the SUV door opening, but neither Roman nor I moved. He stared at me as if it were the first time he was seeing me. I didn’t know how to interpret his emotions under the shock.
“Is something wrong?”
August’s voice cut through the tension, and my head swiveled toward him. His gaze bounced between the two of us, brow furrowed.
I cleared my throat and wiped at my face, forcing the tears back. “I’m fine,” I said, voice thick but steady.
I glanced at Roman. He was fixed on me, looking like I’d splintered something in him. There wasn’t anything I could do about it.
“Are you…ready to go?” August sounded unsure.
I forced a smile that hurt. “Yes.”
But I didn’t move right away. Roman’s stare was like a weight pressing on me. I waited for him to stop me, to say something—anything.
He did not.
August was staring at him, but I couldn’t bring myself to look.
“Goodbye, Roman,” I said softly.
And then I sprinted to the SUV and got inside.