Chapter 25
Palmer
Iwoke up feeling drained and groggy in a room I didn’t recognize. Hailey was curled against my side, warm and deep in sleep. It was the only thing that brought me comfort. I gazed around the space, the memories slowly coming back.
I was at the safe house.
And Roman was back in Ember Hollow.
I vaguely recalled arriving at the secluded house—which was really more of a mansion in the mountains—late in the night. I’d fallen asleep, my eyes red and swollen from silently crying, and August had woken me and showed me to this room.
The house was stunning in its modern design, lots of stark clean lines and metal accents. I hadn’t gotten the best look in the dark, but it seemed like we were quite high up, and nestled between the mountains.
I glanced down at Hailey and pushed back some of the curls sticking to her forehead. She’d been excited to see her grandparents and uncles, but I wasn’t sure how well she was going to handle being away from Roman. I hoped she wouldn’t be too sad.
Because I was sad enough for the both of us.
My teeth caught my lower lip as the tears surfaced, thinking about last night—Roman’s shock and the way he’d let his hands fall from cradling my face. As if I were something he no longer wanted.
My ribs constricted, strangling my lungs. The thought hurt so much.
I had promised myself that I wouldn’t feel this way when the end came, but here I was, mourning something that had never really been mine. I was a fool. Always had been.
Hailey didn’t stir even though my breaths were hitching, the sobs building deep within me and threatening to burst forth.
I twisted one finger around a corkscrew curl of hers, memorizing her face.
She was almost a carbon copy of her mother, but when she was asleep like this, her features relaxed, there were glimpses of Roman.
She had his chin and that flawless cupid’s bow. Even the slope of her nose was his.
My throat constricted with the storm of emotions I fought down.
She was the perfect combination of the two of them.
A shining product of their love. I hoped she would know how much she was cherished, by both her dad and her mom.
Because I knew, without any doubt, that Jessica loved this child with everything she possessed for every short minute they had together.
As my tears came heavier, I shifted away, needing to get out of bed before I woke her.
When I was on my feet, I stumbled toward the door, holding both hands over my racing heart, willing it to calm before it broke through and showed its jagged fragments for everyone to see.
I flung the bedroom door open, needing to get somewhere I could cry without fear of waking Hailey, but I nearly collided with a woman standing out in the hall.
I gasped and almost fell backward. The figure was blurry around the edges, but I could make out her surprised expression.
“Oh, I’m so sorry to scare you. I was about to knock—”
She paused, her face pinching as she took in my tears. She had long, dark hair with streaks of gray. I recognized her, though we’d never met. Her name was Raleigh, Roman’s mother.
“Honey,” she said, her voice soft but full of tenderness. “What’s wrong?”
Her thin fingers wrapped around my forearms, mindful of my hands like she already knew about my burns. She squeezed and more tears welled. I didn’t know this woman. This was my first time meeting her, and I was an absolute mess.
“I-I…” I tried to speak, but I didn’t even know where to start. I glanced back at Hailey, who hadn’t moved a muscle, but I was going to start bawling and it wouldn’t be quiet.
As if Raleigh read my thoughts, she gently pulled me out into the hall and closed the door. She left one hand on me the entire time, as if she knew I needed the support.
Raleigh turned back to me, her expression warm with gentleness I’d never experienced.
“Now,” she spoke quietly, but steadily, “tell me what’s burdening your heart.”
I blinked at her for half a second, unsure how to react to a request like that. But then I burst into full-blown sobs.
She didn’t hesitate before pulling me into her arms. Raleigh Ramsey held me in a way I had never been held. She held me tight, without caution or restraint. She held me like she understood my pain, and wanted to help me bear it.
She held me the way I imagined a mother would hold her daughter, and that thought alone made me cry harder.
I told her everything, between heaving sobs and hot streams of tears. I told her about the fire, about how Roman had saved me the night his wife died. I even told her how Roman had kissed me and then let me go.
It was embarrassing and gutting and cathartic all at the same time.
When I finally calmed down enough to restrain the tears, the horror began to wash over me. My face burned, and I pulled back from the woman who didn’t know me. I had no idea whether she even knew my name.
“I’m-I’m so sorry,” I stammered, stunned with myself.
Raleigh smiled, but sadness lingered underneath it. She reached up, and I stiffened as she wiped the salty tracks from my cheeks.
“Sweet girl,” she breathed, and pressed her lips together as they trembled. “You’ve been carrying this like your life cost Jessica hers.” She shook her head. “Her death was a tragedy, not a trade.”
I blinked, and the truth hit me so hard I couldn’t breathe.
Her face softened. “Roman didn’t lose his wife because he saved you. My son did what he was born to do—he ran toward the people who needed him. Jessica understood that, and she would never want either Roman or Hailey to stay buried in grief forever.”
One hand stayed pressed against my face and the other fell to her chest, her palm resting over her heart. “If Roman cares for you, that would never mean he loved Jessica less. That’s not how the heart works. It doesn’t replace. It makes room.”
Fresh tears welled as her words sunk in, burrowing into my broken heart and threading through the pieces like stitches.
It hurt, it stung, and I didn’t know if they would hold, but they were exactly what I’d needed. I pitched forward, wrapping my arms around Raleigh’s neck and hugging her.
“Thank you,” I breathed.
She squeezed me, one hand rubbing up and down my back.
We held each other until I composed myself enough to hold it together.
I cleared my throat, pulling back to face the woman who had soothed my deep ache. We hadn’t even met properly, but there was something so open about her. Her warmth and kindness radiated from her like sunbeams.
“I…I’m Palmer,” I said with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that, um, breakdown. I’m not usually like this.”
Raleigh frowned and shook her head. “Don’t apologize. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” She patted my cheek. “My name is Raleigh, by the way. It’s lovely to meet you, Palmer.”
I nodded, tears still glistening in my eyes.
Raleigh grinned sweetly. “Why don’t you take some time to relax, and I’ll come check on you soon, okay?”
“That sounds nice,” I said, grateful to my very bones for this woman I had literally just met.
I went back into the bedroom, feeling lighter. Hailey was still fast asleep; I thought about crawling back in and snuggling up beside her, but I decided to take a bath instead.
Careful not to get my bandages wet, I soaked in the tub. The warm water released the tension I’d held for the past several days.
When the bath went cold, I forced myself to get out and get ready for the day. It was still so early. Hailey still hadn’t woken when I left the bathroom, clean and dressed.
An hour after her first visit, Raleigh knocked on our door. This time, she wore a wide smile. “Feeling better?”
I nodded, and her grin widened.
“I wanted to invite you down for breakfast if you’re hungry.”
I tried to return the smile, but was suddenly too nervous. I glanced back at the sleeping girl, frowning.
“I didn’t want to wake her up quite yet.” I turned back to Raleigh. “I’m not sure I should leave her up here all by herself.”
Raleigh gave a dismissive wave. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve already eaten and I’d love to stay with her until she wakes.”
Before I could object, Raleigh walked into the room. She stared at the sleeping Hailey with so much love that my heart constricted. I wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at me like that.
When I still didn’t move, Raleigh turned to me. “I’ve missed her so much,” she said. “Please, let me snuggle my grandbaby for a bit. Go eat.”
I blinked, unable to argue with that. I gave a nod and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind me.
I didn’t need anyone to tell me where the kitchen was. The house practically led me there.
Voices drifted down the wide hallway, warm and overlapping; the clink of dishes and low laughter echoed off the high ceilings.
The place was breathtaking in daylight. Stark white walls.
Floor-to-ceiling windows that stretched toward a mountain view so vast it almost didn’t seem real.
Dark metal railings lined an open loft area, and below it the kitchen and dining space was laid out in a perfect, polished sweep of marble counters and wood floors.
The kitchen was filled with people I recognized from photos around the Ramsey bed-and-breakfast, but had never officially met.
I paused, wondering whether I really wanted to go down into the fray. The Ramsey family was…a little overwhelming. Plus, it was probably obvious I’d been crying.
I was also very aware that they could see me standing here watching them, and the last thing I wanted was to be caught staring like a creep.
With my skin heating, I steeled myself. I could do this, couldn’t I?
Raleigh had been wonderful; the rest of them couldn’t be that bad.
I carefully went down the wide staircase, my socked feet silent on the steps. The moment I reached the bottom, I stilled, taking in everyone.
My brain stalled.