Chapter 36
TWO MONTHS LATER
SKYLAR
Whoever said time heals all pain was the biggest fucking liar that’s ever walked this planet.
If anything, I feel as though time has made it worse.
My chest still feels like it’s shattering bit by bit.
My ribs are like sharp daggers constantly poking and scrapping against the walls of my chest. My body feels like I’ve been carrying a weight that still gets heavier each and every day.
A world where I finally felt normal and enjoyed being in was suddenly smashed to a million fucking pieces right in front of me.
I’ve never wanted to die or take my own life, but every day, I wish Saxon would have just killed me that day.
Take me away from this life of nothingness.
The pain of not being believed is soul crushing, which I guess is fitting for me since that’s all my life has felt like.
While most days I feel like I’m drowning in the deepest pit of heartbreak, there are some days where the rage bubbles over and consumes me.
Anger towards Saxon for believing two Hellstorm members over me.
How quickly he was able to switch sides and toss me away as if I was nothing but the snitch they accused me of being.
I’ve never been, nor will I ever be, a snitch.
My anger then morphs into regret. Regret that maybe I should have just begged and pleaded like he wanted.
If I had, would I still be in Golden Heights?
Would he have truly believed me? I can’t linger on that thought for too long. The pain only intensifies inside me.
I hate my father—something Saxon knows all too well—and I’d never do anything that would benefit him.
Yet Saxon believed Diego and Leonard. In a matter of ten minutes, he already assumed I was the person they were accusing me of being.
That’s what hurts the most. I’ve made many mistakes in my life, and lowering my walls for Saxon Wilder is currently sitting at number one for the stupidest mistakes I’ve ever made. A mistake I won’t make again.
After I broke down in the elevator at Vice, I needed to make a decision about where to go and fast. So, I went to Mack’s. I didn’t want to involve him with anything related to the clubs, but I was desperate.
After banging on his front door in the middle of the night with tears dried to my cheeks, he ushered me inside.
He was frantic as to what the hell was going on.
He sat me down on his couch and insisted I tell him everything.
I did. However, I left out the parts about killing people and disposing of their bodies—you know, the gruesome shit.
I told him how Saxon heard a rumor that I was a spy for my father and how this set him off, and he told me to get out.
Not the whole truth, but all Mack needed to know. I told him I needed a place just for the night, but he insisted I stay as long as I needed to.
I didn’t.
I knew Saxon might come looking for me here, if not just to see that I was truly out of town, and I didn’t want to put Mack in danger.
However, Mack does have a small hunting cabin in the woods about twenty miles from Rhun Canyon.
Which is where I’m currently at. Sitting in this small, quaint cabin, sipping my tea as I go over my plans for the thousandth time.
My list for revenge is almost complete. Why stop now, just because my train has seriously been derailed?
Plus, the last two names on the list happen to be my very own parents.
Sergio and Sylvia Sagan. I’ve been working nonstop on this plan, and I still have some holes I need to fill before I set this plan in motion.
Out of all my kills, this one will be the trickiest. For obvious reasons.
First off, he’s the president of the Hellstorms, which means he constantly has people around him to ensure his safety.
Second, I will be on his territory. As much as I know all the ins and outs of the compound he lives on, the fact of the matter is, it’s still his territory.
Lastly, now that Diego and Leonard are gone, he will be aware that something is coming.
He may not know it’s me, but nonetheless, he will know he needs to be extra careful.
A knock at the door startles me, but when I see it’s just Mack, I wave at him through the door window for him to come in.
“Mack, this is your house. You don’t need to knock,” I say to him, as I start gathering my floor plans to Sergio’s house off the dining table.
Mack has been bringing me groceries for the past two months, even though I insist I can do it myself.
He wants me to lie low. He’s worried about my safety.
If the shoe was on the other foot, and a young woman came to my door in the night crying, I would feel the same as he does right now. I would be worried too.
“I just want to make sure I’m not walking in on you. This is your space for now. We all need our privacy, and I sure as hell don’t want to walk in and see you naked or some shit.” Setting the groceries on the counter, I help him unload and sort through the array he’s brought me.
We’re both quiet for a moment. The sound of us shuffling through the kitchen and putting away the groceries is the only noise between us. Until I notice he’s stopped moving and is currently starring in the fridge with a puzzled look.
“What is it?”
“You’re not eating enough, Sky.” He looks at me with his sad eyes that are hard for me to see.
“Not only can I physically see you’re losing weight, but last week’s groceries have hardly been touched.
” He’s right. I haven’t been eating enough.
I can’t stomach anything lately besides tea and some club crackers.
The pain inside me takes up so much space, it’s hard to allow anything else inside. I sigh and drop my gaze from his.
“Listen to me, Sky. I know it hurts. Trust me, I know. But if you stop taking care of yourself, nothing good will come of it. Don’t allow yourself to give up because he couldn’t see the truth, even though it was staring him right in the face.
Men are stupid, sweetheart. The first sign of being lied to or played, they go on the defensive.
No man wants to admit they were tricked by a woman, even when they weren’t tricked in the first place.
A man’s ego is their most fragile element.
” Walking over to where I’m leaning against the counter, Mack pulls me into his chest.
Mack is the only man on this planet I’ve ever let see me fall completely apart.
He’s safe and the only person I love. I trust this man with my whole existence, and I couldn’t be more thankful for his kindness.
We hug each other while I cry a few more tears.
His embrace is soothing and brings me back from the darkness I’ve found myself in lately.
While in his arms, I finally tell him what I’ve been delaying for the past week.
“I’m leaving in two days.” His chest rises and falls against my chest. Squeezing me a little tighter, he kisses the top of my head.
When he finally pulls away, he looks down at me with his forehead furrowed, as if he wants to argue with me, but he knows it’s futile.
I’ve told him my plan and even though he’s against it 100 percent, he understands why I want to do it.
Mack’s tried everything to convince me to not do this, even going as far as threatening to come with me.
It’s been two long months since I started this meticulous plan, and he knows I’m not backing out of this now.
I found a contact that works within the compounds of my family’s home.
A housekeeper named Glenda, who I remember from when I was a girl.
She doesn’t like my family, never has, but the money she makes from her work is a lot more than she could make elsewhere.
She’s the sole provider for her family, and no matter how hard her work got, no matter how much physical or verbal abuse she was subjected to, she never left. She’s been there for forever.
I was honestly surprised she agreed to give me the information I needed, since she needs that job to survive.
However, when I promised a hefty sum of money from the inheritance I would receive, she agreed right away.
I know for a fact my parents don’t have wills.
They think they’re invincible. So, since Seven is dead, the last remaining member of the family will inherit everything.
Not like I want anything from them, but I do need to make sure Glenda’s family is taken care of.
Glenda is risking a lot, and I would never go back on a promise.
I also told her I would help her find another job with an even wealthier family. She agreed.
“What can I do to help?” Mack asks me, leaning against the fridge.
“You’ve done so much already. I’m okay. I got this, I promise,” I say, trying to reassure him but knowing my words mean nothing. He’ll still worry and fear for my safety, no matter what.
I give him more details of what the actual plan will entail and assure him the moment it’s done, I will inform him immediately.
That is, if I accomplish said mission. I know how risky this is, and I’m well aware that I may not make it out alive, but at this point, I’d rather die trying than not try at all.
We talk about mundane things, such as how work is going for him, the weather, what’s been going on in town lately. We try to lighten the mood, but we both know the inevitable is coming. I need to say goodbye, and we don’t know if this is the last thing we’ll ever say to each other.
I don’t want to cry anymore, so I say goodbye quickly.
Even though he tries to change my mind a few more times as we walk to his car, I assure him I’m doing this no matter what.
Just when I feel my eyes sting again, I quickly give him one more hug and turn back towards the house, not looking over my shoulder.
I know if I see the expression on his face, I’ll crumble.
Right now, I need to be strong.
I need to be focused.
I need to be a killer.