Chapter 12 #2
“Is that why you called?” I ask. Even though he’s not acting like a man who called to bail, the anxiety of not knowing for sure is killing me. I need answers or I might actually faint.
“To tell you how easily turned on I am by you?” He smirks but shakes his head. “I was actually calling because I…” He clears his throat, looking away from the screen for a moment. “I wasn’t sure what to wear.”
Oh. Oh. Okay, so definitely not cancelling.
Wait, is he blushing again?
“It’s been a while, and I picked a nice restaurant, but I wasn’t sure if you were going to wear a dress or something more casual…
” He’s rambling as I stare at the screen, feeling silly for doubting him so instantly.
“I don’t want you to think I’m not into you or that I’m being careless about this date if I dress too casually, but I also didn’t want to overdress. ”
Awe, the big sexy alpha has social anxiety? Cute, and honestly, totally relatable.
“I’m wearing a dress,” I say, smiling at him as he takes a deep breath.
“Yeah?” He grins brightly, and I shrug.
“I want to look hot, and maybe I’m trying to seduce you, just a little.” I nibble my bottom lip. “Although, I won’t have time to get ready if you keep distracting me!”
“You already look beautiful, Arabella, but I’ll let you go…if I have to.”
“I’ll see you soon, Reid.”
“See you soon,” he agrees, somehow making it sound like a promise. One loaded with anticipation.
The moment the call disconnects, I’m squealing as I flop backward onto my bed, giddy with excitement.
After a few minutes, the feeling dampens somewhat as I reflect on our conversation and my panic attack.
Despite my fear and making an idiot out of myself, he seemed genuinely excited for our date.
Maybe I need to stop expecting the worst and give people a chance before I make conclusions?
I was clearly looking for a reason to doubt Reid, and that’s not fair to him.
I shouldn’t take out the damage someone else created on him; that’s not the sort of person I want to be. It’s one thing to simply avoid dating and another to decide to date while bringing all my issues along with me to dump on him.
“What do you think, Suki? Should I take him home with me tonight?” I ask, snorting, when all she does is blink at me, her little butt wiggling with her tail wags.
“I should probably get to know him a little more before I invite him into my bed, but there’s nothing wrong with watching a movie on the couch, right? ”
Her bark could mean anything, but I think in this case it probably just means, ‘Give me pets, human.’
There’s a knock on my apartment door that startles me. It’s made even worse by Suki’s attack-dog barking as she leaps off the edge of my bed and races to confront whoever dared touch the door with their offensive knuckles.
“Suki! Unless we’re under attack, can you please zip it!”
She ignores me, obviously, and I find myself sighing in defeat as I peek out the peephole to see that it’s only my sweet, elderly neighbour. The one who watched Suki for me during my heat.
While I got my brains fucked out by the world’s sexiest alphas that I will never see again.
“Hey, Ruth. Everything okay?” I ask as I open the door and peek out at her.
“It would be better if you had cookies.” She grunts before pushing past me and into my home like she has a standing invite. Suki goes full zoomie-zoom, ecstatic to see her friend. Still in my robe, I shut the door behind me, turning to face her.
This is a new experience for me, having people come into my flat. Usually it’s just the maintenance guy.
Wait, did she say she wanted cookies?
“I made dog biscuits and wanted to see Suki enjoying them, but you haven’t taken her out for a walk in a couple hours, and I got sick of waiting.”
“Oh.” I really have nothing else to say to that, so I just watch as Suki soaks up the attention before devouring the homemade treats she offers when I don’t object.
“Your apartment smells like an omega-pheromones factory. Didn’t your heat just end?” She lifts her brow as she glances over her shoulder at me.
I’ll admit that prior to handing her my fur child and begging her to take good care of Suki, we didn’t really know each other all that well.
Occasionally she would stop to greet Suki, who always ate up the attention.
She’s usually the kind of dog that loves her human and reluctantly tolerates the rest of them.
Can’t say I blame her. However, my neighbour has always been a bit of an exception.
My girl would always pull towards her to say hi.
Because of that, Ruth has never set off my internal alarm bells.
The Suki seal of approval made it easy enough to make polite small talk while she fussed over her.
Still, if I hadn’t been extremely desperate, I never would have considered handing my whole fluffy heart over to her without several test visits and at least attempting a background check.
Thankfully, the sweet woman proved to be just as kind as I had hoped. She took amazing care of my girl, and now the two are best friends, it seems.
“Uh…” I gape like a fish, staring at the grey-haired menace as she gives my dog belly rubs. The little traitor eats them right up.
“Hmm.” Ruth frowns at me before turning to Suki. “I need to talk to Arabella now, sugar. I’ll give you belly rubs again soon.”
I feel silly, standing here, not moving or speaking. Ruth has never been shy, and it’s clear she’s not lacking in confidence, but I’m not used to someone being so…familiar.
Not in a very long time.
“At my age, I’ve learnt to mind my business,” Ruth says as she walks over to me, smiling in a way that almost looks sad.
“I’ve also picked up on when not to mind it.
Living here as long as I have, you meet a lot of people.
Most of them leave after just a few years.
Once they’re gone, they never seem to keep in touch for long. ”
“I get that.” I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Me too.” Ruth shrugs. “Makes me come across as closed off. Cold. After you bring someone into your heart, and they forget you seemingly so easily, it makes a woman like me cautious. I wasn’t always like that.”
“I get that, too.” I nod, confused as to why I feel like crying all of the sudden. Somehow, I know those alphas are to blame for my emotional response. I just can’t prove it right now.
“You look like you were in the middle of getting ready, so I’ll get out of your hair, but why don’t you bring Suki over tomorrow for some lunch?” She pats my arm cautiously, and I’m not sure if she’s scared of my reaction or her own.
“I would like that,” I agree easily, sniffing as I swallow back the lump in my throat.
“Me too, kid.” She pauses, waving to Suki. “And if you ever need me to watch her in the future, well, you know where I live.”
After Ruth leaves, part of me wants to start crying, but the other part knows that if I let the flood gates open even an inch, they’ll burst open.
I do not have time for a breakdown right now.
I shove the overwhelming emotions into a mental box to deal with at a later date.
Despite the emotional boxing, there’s a new warmth inside me, one that feels almost terrifyingly similar to when I’d spend the day with my aunt.
Somehow my heart feels lighter as I finish getting ready for my date with Reid, even while it feels like something vital is still missing.