Chapter 26
Arabella
“Well, let’s get the biggest problem out of the way first,” I say, trying to bury my emotions by sticking to a strict tone. I’m stuck in my head, searching for the right words to continue, but it’s challenging.
This is even harder than I expected the conversation to be, and it’s not like I expected any of this to be easy.
I can’t exactly just say, ‘Yeah, I know you guys have been stalking me, but it turns out I’m a total freak who’s kinda into it.
There hasn’t been a day, or even an hour, where one of you hasn’t been on my mind.
Also, do you both wanna share me, not just with each other, but also with some strange alpha you’ve never met, so we can all ride off into the metaphorical sunset together? ’ Now, can I?
Yeah.
Absolutely fucking not.
Maybe I should start by just sticking to the facts?
“You’ve been following me,” I finally say, forcing myself to look back up at both of them and meet their eyes, finding sapphire and honey staring right back at me.
I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that they don’t even try to deny it, but there’s definitely regret in their expressions, and maybe a bit of shame too.
Fuck, I hate that I’m desperate to know if they even like me beyond the pull that’s dragging us together.
Over the last twenty-four hours since finding out they’ve been stalking me, I’ve wondered all kinds of stupid shit. I wonder if they think I’m pretty, if they find me interesting, or if all the time they’ve spent watching me has made them resentful of our bond.
I mean, why would anyone want to be tied to someone like me? They must think I’m some weird loner who only hangs out with her elderly neighbour and the alpha she met less than a month ago.
I want to know if seeing Reid made them jealous. If they’ve had to fight themselves not to come to me, the same way I’m fighting myself not to throw myself at them now.
Crushing all of these questions in my throat before I can speak them, I force myself to go back to the facts like I decided. I really can’t let my hopeful delusions get the better of me. This situation is embarrassing enough without me making a total fool of myself.
“I understand that we formed a false bond, and I’ve been feeling the effects of it too. Someone said that it’s likely worse for you both because of the feedback loop caused by your bond with each other. Would you say that’s accurate?”
“Yes, I would,” Alec answers, the succinctness of his answer giving me nothing beyond the confirmation I’d asked for.
“Are you okay?” Nath cuts into my thoughts, one of his arms hesitantly reaching across the table to set his hand on top of mine gently, as if expecting me to pull away. “You smell distressed. We’re not scaring you, are we?”
I didn’t even notice my scent had soured with my fear of rejection.
Damn, I might be the first person ever to get anxious over whether their stalker likes them or not. That’s truly one helluva fucked-up achievement to unlock.
“No, it’s just the situation,” I say, making myself smile in an attempt to reassure them. I slowly withdraw my hand from under Nathan’s so I don’t do something stupid, like use it to drag him closer to me.
I would rather not make this more difficult while they’re behaving as well as anyone could ask given the situation. It’s not like they’ve tried to hurt me or lie about it. They’re listening and clearly have regrets over their actions, even if the bond was driving them to it.
“That’s understandable,” Alec replies, and the almost professional politeness to his voice irritates me.
Yeah, because he was such a detached professional when he was lurking outside my building…
Thinking of him being professional reminds me of where I found them both. I’d been on my way to the clinic to try and beg, bribe or steal the information necessary to find them, but they’d been walking down the street from there, saving me the trouble.
Can they really be that torn up about our false bond if they’re still helping omegas at the clinic?
“I’m surprised you guys are still going to the heat clinic. Aren’t you worried you could form a false bond with another omega?”
Fuck. The stupid question slipped right out of me, and now I look like a jealous freak. That’s just great. Ugh.
“We’re not helping there anymore. We went there for help with the bond,” Nathan says, hand twitching like he wants to grab mine again. “We quit immediately after. We both knew we wouldn’t be able to handle that again even if we had wanted to continue.”
“You didn’t want to keep working there?” I ask, confusion and hope fighting inside of me.
“All we wanted was to get back to you,” he answers, not a hint of jest in his voice. He turns to his mate, looking at him almost pleadingly. “Right, Alec?”
I stare at the other alpha, waiting for his response with a tension that would suggest my entire life depends on his answer.
“It’s true,” Alec sighs. “I’m sorry, Bell.
I don't mean to scare you, and I know this situation is difficult for all of us, but if you want honesty, we’ve never shared a heat like that with anyone at the clinic before.
It wasn’t just work for us, it wasn’t that from the second I found you and carried you to the clinic. ”
“I’m not scared.”
“You’re not?” Nathan asks, sounding pleasantly surprised.
“I’m not.” I shake my head. “I probably should be terrified. That’s the sane, rational response, but I guess I’m not either of those things. Not when it comes to the two of you.”
Nathan looks overjoyed at my words. Honestly, he looks like he’s about to vault over the picnic table to pull me into his arms, but Alec lays a hand on his shoulder, the simple gesture holding him back.
They share a look, communicating silently in the way only two people who truly know each other can.
“This is completely inappropriate, so feel free to tell us both to fuck off, and I swear we will do whatever it takes to never bother you again, okay?” Alec asks, waiting for me to nod in acknowledgement before he continues.
“We want you. We’ve wanted you since we met, and I feel like the reason we formed this bond, the reason it won’t fade, is because you feel the same.
Unrequited false bonds with no feelings attached should fade easily; this hasn’t. ”
“It’s not just the bond, either. You’re special, Arabella.
You’re kind and beautiful, and you smell like you’re ours.
You did even before the false bond,” Nathan adds.
“I’ve never wanted an omega with the level of desperation as I have since the moment I walked into that room and saw you for the first time. ”
Wow.
I’m speechless. What can I even say to all this?
It would be a lie to try and say I don’t feel the same.
While they clearly both know a lot more about me than I do about them, I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know everything about them.
It’s so stupid and insane, but they changed everything for me.
Without them, I would’ve never let an alpha in.
I would’ve never let anyone in—not them, not Reid, not even my neighbour, Ruth. I would’ve stayed alone forever, with only my dog to love me.
“What’s wrong? Please don’t cry. We’re sorry,” Nathan says, suddenly coming around the table and pulling me into his arms. His hand rubs my back soothingly.
“Don’t be…don’t be sorry,” I manage to say through the sudden sobs that have attacked me. “It’s not you.”
“What is it then?” he asks, giving me a squeeze.
“I...I thought I would be alone forever,” I tell him, wriggling free from his grip so I can look him and Alec in the eyes.
“For four years, I shut everyone out. No friends, no family, and definitely no alphas. I couldn’t trust anyone after my aunt’s death, after my ex-boyfriend ruined my first heat and made me feel even more broken than I already was. ”
Alec comes closer, and I snag his hand before he can pull away, dragging him into a hug as well.
“You rescued me,” I whisper to him first before speaking loud enough for them both to hear.
“I couldn’t ever be afraid of you. You made me feel like I wasn’t a broken omega, like I was desirable.
You showed me that I am a person worth others’ time…
” I trail off, switching back to a hushed whisper, this time out of self-consciousness. “That I’m a person who could be loved.”
“Why would you ever think that you weren’t all those things? I know you’ve been isolating yourself…that your ex was a piece of shit, but that was his problem. There’s not a single thing wrong with you.”
“How would you know? Maybe I snore really loudly in my sleep,” I joke to cover how brittle and raw I feel emotionally, having shown myself to them both like that.
“We’re your stalkers, remember? We’d know if you snored loudly,” Nathan says, far too humorously considering his words, but it still makes me smile.
“Really, Nath?” Alec groans. “You can’t just say that…like that.”
I laugh against his chest before pulling back and reaching out a hand toward Nath. “Come here. I want both my stalkers to hold me.”
He doesn’t hesitate, and I’m wrapped up between them both, breathing in their warm scents as they surround me. Cedar, sandalwood, vanilla, and leather have never smelt so fucking good.
“I wish you guys had just, I don’t know, called me? Might’ve been easier on your schedules than following me around,” I joke.
“You should take your safety more seriously,” Alec grumbles.
“Are you planning to hurt me?” I pull back to ask, looking up at him despite already knowing the answer.
“Of course not! Why would you—”
I cut him off with a kiss, and he folds instantly, his words forgotten as he kisses me back deeply. The emotion in the press of his lips, the sound that gets half caught in his throat, the way his hand clenches unconsciously on my thigh—he needed this just as much as I did.