Chapter Nineteen
CADE
Frank was fed up with my attitude before the phone call had ended.
He usually treated me with a certain level of humor, being as I was younger and, therefore, arguably more immature than him.
Granted, I had called him when I already had too much shit going on in my head, and I’d practically shouted at him when he tried to make small talk.
All I needed to know was when he was next at the fight club.
Tonight.
Since the horrific encounter with Nikki yesterday, I hadn’t slept, eaten, or rested at all.
It had taken hours for the emotions to get to a point where I could stabilize them enough to change back into my human form, and I hadn’t tried to keep inside the howls of agony and heartache that escaped my already aching throat.
The wound on my chest had almost healed, although I was now left with scars that vaguely resembled a pentagram and looked as though I’d been attacked with a rusty sword over it.
These scars wouldn’t go away, not even in my human form.
They would be there to forever remind me of my betrayal and that I could never go home.
I didn’t want to go back, but there was a difference between making that decision myself and having the decision taken from me.
I could only hope Nikki was coping okay, and I doubted my presence would be of any comfort to her, so there was no point in rocking up at her home and trying to talk it out. Not right away, at least. But I wasn’t going to give up on her.
She was mine.
The guilt and rage were pounding through my veins, and I paced around the warehouse for hours before demons began showing up.
Several of them challenged me to a fight, but I ignored them.
They were not worth my time. I needed Frank and only Frank.
I needed the kind of instinct that could only be drawn out by fighting my kin, and he was bigger and stronger than most.
Frank strolled into the warehouse with the same suave smugness as he would a business meeting, and he stripped his jacket and white shirt off casually, tossing them over a dusty and crumbling bench before coming to face me.
I hadn’t stopped moving, shifting between impatient pacing and bouncing on my feet, clenching and unclenching my hands, and stripped down to my pants and tank.
Frank circled me cautiously, a deep frown embedded between his dark brows. He rubbed at the stubble on his chin as he studied me. “Are you okay, brother?”
I snorted. “No talking.”
His eyebrow arched, and he shrugged a shoulder before he closed the gap between us in a handful of large strides, hooked an arm over my neck, and forced me to bend before he drove a punch into my nose.
I cried out in rage and fought against his hold.
No longer burdened with the etiquette of correct fighting practice, I simply allowed myself to become an animal.
Thrashing against Frank, he let me go more out of surprise than strength, and I used his hesitation against him, snatching his arm and twisting it behind his back.
Frank was forced to his knees, and his eyes flared yellow as his rage took over.
He didn’t know why I was fighting dirty, nor what caused the change between the last time we fought and now.
But he didn’t need to know.
All I wanted from him to be sure of was there were no limits anymore and for him to fight me without holding back.
I cried out when he reached back and drove his fingers into my calf, letting only his hands change so his claws drove into my skin, and I let him go.
As Frank stood and we faced each other, I snarled at him as his hand returned to human form, and I failed to keep my rage at his perfect control of his demon at bay.
“No demon forms, aren’t those the rules? ”
“I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, Cade, but something tells me the rules are out the window.
” His eyes traveled my body, and when they came to rest on my chest, they widened.
Ignoring my warning growls and subsequent roar of rage, he reached forward and snatched at my tank, ripping downward and shredding it from my body.
“Oh, Cade,” he whispered, eyeing the scars on my chest. “What did you do?”
Launching at him, he stepped forward to meet my attack, and we met shoulder to shoulder, bent at the waist, and wrestled each other for power.
When I landed a few punches to his gut, Frank snarled and returned the favor.
The power behind his blows brought to the surface a realization that he had been pulling his punches last time we met like this.
And that only served to increase my anger.
Layers upon layers of rage, hatred, and guilt were within me until I was nothing but a culmination of all the negative emotions that made me the worst of mankind and still not dark enough to be demon either.
I should never have gotten involved with Nikki.
I should never have tried to help.
And I should never have let my touch be anything more than a fuck and release.
When the vision of her hazel eyes floated in front of my memory, her pale skin with slightly pink cheeks, her freckles, and white-blonde hair, I roared again.
The vision faded and changed until I was looking into those same hazel eyes, but now it was Murphy, laughing and mocking me.
Changing my stance, I got hold of Frank and lifted him over my shoulder before slamming him onto the floor.
There was a resounding ooh of appreciation from the crowd that had gathered, but I didn’t care about them. Frank was on his feet, covered in dirt and dust, and his shoulder was sliced by a stray piece of broken glass.
And the look in his eyes was pure rage.
“What is this?” he asked. “Are you trying to piss me off?”
“Yes,” I growled out.
It wasn’t strictly true, as that wasn’t what I came here for. But when he asked, I realized that ultimately making Frank as angry as me was my goal. Because if Frank felt like I did, he might just kill me.
“What are you punishing yourself for?” Frank said, frowning at me.
Somehow, he had hit me right in my most vulnerable spot with the question, and there was no way I would admit it.
That was a line of questioning I wasn’t interested in exploring right now, and I responded by running at him again.
Expertly, Frank countered my attack, forcing me to my knees and standing behind me, one arm wrapped around my throat and holding onto his wrist, choking me against the crook of his elbow.
“Cade.” His voice was calm again, and I hated it. “Stop.”
“No, I need this.”
Frank snarled when I bit into his arm, letting me go as I drew blood. He shot me a look of such hatred that, for a split second, I doubted myself. Then it all came flooding back, and that moment was gone, lost in the rush of emotion that threatened to crush me.
So, I let it all go.
I don’t recall all the details of the fight.
Every ounce of energy that wasn’t directed at keeping my human form, I threw into the fight, somehow making Frank the object of all my pain, and if only I could bring him down, then I’d feel better.
I almost succeeded, and when we were both bloodied and beaten, Frank sporting a black eye which he’d roared, “Not the face!” at me when I’d given it to him, and the wound on my chest reopened when he clawed me again, we backed away from each other.
Panting, we watched each other wearily, Frank looking mildly shell-shocked that I’d been able to inflict so much damage. “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Fuck you,” I spat out.
Frank simply raised his brows at me, straightening as he lifted his shoulder in another half-shrug after rolling them. “Suit yourself. Do you want to keep going?”
I thought I did, but after the past hour, now that we had stopped, I felt drained and numb inside.
I was happy to not be feeling an avalanche of emotions anymore, but I didn’t like this feeling of hollow nothingness.
Nikki returned to my thoughts as if she was ever far from them, and the nothingness was replaced with an ache that swallowed my heart.
Gritting my teeth against the tears welling behind my eyes, I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard Frank sigh and approach. “Let me give you a ride home, you stupid fuck.”
Sighing to myself, it was as close to a term of endearment as I was going to get from him. “Okay.”
Of course, he drove some expensive European car, and I shuffled in my seat, aware that I was probably getting blood on the cream upholstery. Frank was too, but he didn’t seem to care, but then again, it was his expensive car, and he could do with it as he wished.
Part of me wondered if he purchased the expensive vehicles and suits to keep up appearances or if he genuinely enjoyed the luxury.
I suspected a bit of both but could barely form any thoughts, let alone ask a coherent question and maintain a conversation.
Frank was hardly the sort for pointless conversation anyway, and I’d never been more thankful for that than right now.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” he asked after a while.
“No.”
Frank pursed his lips and nodded, keeping his eyes firmly on the road. His grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles turned white. “How did you lose your mark?”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t really give a shit what you want, parvulus puer. You’re too wrapped up with this human woman, and it’s not good for you.”
“Don’t talk about her.”
“First, you try to solve a murder for her, now I’m guessing by your scars…” Frank threw an indignant look at my chest before returning his gaze to the road, illuminated by LED headlights, “… you went back home to ask something you shouldn’t, of someone you definitely shouldn’t be talking to.”
“Drop it, Frank.”
“What happened? Were you desperate to know something about some past fuck-buddy of hers? Maybe find out her kinks? Why you can’t make her come?”
There was screaming of tires and a responsive angry hail of horns as Frank’s car swerved dangerously into the oncoming lane. His eyes flared yellow as he corrected the vehicle, and he rubbed his jaw, glaring at me as I retreated to my seat, rubbing my knuckles.
“I’m going to forgive that punch…” he muttered, frowning, “… provided there are no scratches on my fucking car.”
“Just leave it alone. Please.”
He threw me one last look before sighing loudly.
“Fine.” Pressing a button on his steering wheel, the radio flared to life, and he switched back and forth between two stations—Nine Inch Nails on one and something that sounded like Mozart.
I watched his face as he decided between the two, the decision seeming to tear him.
By the time he settled on Nine Inch Nails, the song was almost over, and we were pulling up to the front of my apartment building.
I expected him to keep the car idling and drop me off, but he stopped the car. Getting out and striding around the vehicle, Frank grabbed my arm as I went to leave. “Cade.”
“What?”
“She’s human.” I simply grunted in response, and Frank’s brow furrowed, his fists clenching. He was ready to fight over the point if I was going to push it. “Let her go.”
“No.”
Frank stared at me again, his fingers flexing before his shoulders dropped in resignation, and he held out his hand.
I took it to shake, and his grip increased with a move I was too distracted to see coming as he landed a punch to my nose, using his grip on my hand to yank me back toward him and keep me standing.
I snarled at him, which he ignored. “That’s for punching me while driving, asshole.
” As he turned to leave, he paused before getting back into the driver’s seat.
“I care about you, brother,” he said, tapping his fingers on the roof of his car. “I’m only trying to help.”
“I know,” I snarled before sighing and reducing my voice to a whisper, humbled by a show of affection from a demon such as Frank. “I know.”
Frank watched me for a beat, his expression unreadable. “Go to bed, Cade.”
Waking up the next morning was trying, and it was only through my loyalty to Smithy that I bothered at all.
According to Frank, no humans were worth our loyalty, but if I couldn’t save Nikki, I could at least help Smithy out.
Sliding from the bed, I followed my morning routine, hoping that the simple acts would return some feeling of normality.
Slowly, I was accepting nothing was going to make me forget Nikki, especially not physical pain, and the idea of other women wasn’t something I could even consider now.
Although, in order to keep my demon under control, eventually, I’d have to.
Maybe distance would help—find another city to inhabit and make a semblance of a home, or maybe I’d drift from place to place.
Going home to Hell was no longer an option, but I hardly cared about that.
The look in her eyes when she saw me still haunted me, and it was all I saw when I closed my eyes and tried to sleep last night.
Flicking on the television to the morning news, I strode to the kitchenette and stared into the almost empty refrigerator. Nothing was appetizing.
Looking ahead at the weather, it’s going to be a humid one today, up to seventy-two percent in some areas. There may be a drizzle in the afternoon to accompany this…
Oh good, gloomy weather. If I were seeing Nikki, I’d make fun of the humidity and her hair.
Shit.
Not thinking about her was going well so far.
… and if you’re out driving today, try to avoid the intersection of Hope and Green near the cemetery. There was an accident last night involving three vehicles, where a blue Honda was crushed.
Practically tripping over my feet, I fell to my knees in front of the television. Footage of a car being hauled onto the back of a tilt-tray truck filled the screen, surrounded by darkness and the street lights dappling through the rain on the camera, filmed only hours ago.
I knew that car.
No.
More Information about the accident has not yet been released, but we’ve heard one of those involved was an off-duty police officer. The intersection is closed for cleanup and will be for at least three hours while investigators assess the cause of the accident.
Coming up—
I didn’t hear anything else.
I was already out the door.