Chapter 60 #2
“And you still married her? I don’t get it. Why marry someone like that?”
“It’s not something I can easily explain, Haven.
I wish I could. Anita was what I needed at the time.
No deep emotional connection, the same passion for music, a vested interest in her son, who was and is extremely talented.
Venomous put this label on a whole other level.
She enjoyed travel, and…she was a woman in your life.
I didn’t think I could raise a daughter on my own.
You were twelve and at an important age in any child’s life.
I was away a lot and didn't know how to help you with things like buying your first bra. I was out of my depth.”
I sigh and sit back to think.
“Do you have any idea how cruel she was to me? She constantly put me down, called me names, and blamed me for all of Cyrus’ bullshit.
Do you know that I contemplated running away from home more than once?
I used to sit on my bedroom floor and plan it,” I add, my voice quieter now.
“I doubted that anyone would come looking for me. I cried night after night, wishing that Mom was still alive because I felt like I was trapped in my own version of the Cinderella story.”
Dad’s eyes are misted over with unshed tears as he shakes his head.
“No,” he says firmly. “I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t realize what was happening.
I didn’t believe Anita’s claims of you taking Cyrus down a dark path which is why I never punished you.
Anita has always been dramatic when she wants something and I thought that she was just wanted more of my attention. The blatant cruelty…I did not know.”
“How could you not know? Not see anything?”
“I was too wrapped up in work and growing the business. It was a really complicated and busy time. We were expanding and looking to add more investors and marketing partners. We doubled our artist list, including Cyrus. It’s not an excuse for putting work before you, but this is the truth.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love you. I did, I do. ”
He leans forward, putting his arms on his knees.
“Have you ever been so focused on a task that it blinds you to everything else?”
“Yes, a little.”
“That’s what it was like for me. I worked hard to create a legacy that would be yours someday.
I’ve always buried myself in my work. I had so many grand ideas, and then you left for New York.
It was a wake-up call. I knew then that something was wrong.
You’d always wanted to work with me at the company.
But you refused to talk about it. Anita said you were being emotional and had hurt Cyrus.
Then Cyrus landed in rehab. I’m very sorry for not being there for you the way I should have been. ”
“Yes, you should’ve. It bordered on neglect. Maybe not in the sense of food, clothes, or a roof over my head, but emotionally…you weren’t there for me. It didn’t seem to matter what I did. Your focus was always on someone else. Most of the time, it was Cyrus.”
I can’t sit still anymore. Standing, I move over to the window.
Palm trees, lining the busy street below, sway in the breeze.
This is far more complicated than I originally thought.
My chest is tight, and my head is a mess.
My mother knew about the affair and was okay with it.
But it doesn’t change the betrayal I feel.
“This isn’t what I came here to talk about, but I need to say it.
” Crossing my arms, I give my father the absolute truth, no holding back.
“When I left here, when I went to New York…I hated you.” His face falls, and my heart beats harder.
“I didn’t care if I ever saw you, Anita, or Cyrus ever again.
When mom died, I didn’t just lose a mother…
I lost my father, too. Then my best friend died, and I gave my virginity to Cyrus before he crushed my heart.
This city, that house, it wasn’t a home, and I wanted to get as far away as I could. ”
Dad slowly stands as a tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away.
“You wanted to know why I left and avoided you for the first two years…now you do. I partied way too hard, met new people, saw a therapist for awhile and finally decided that it took way too much energy to hate you. Then you flew out to see me, and we had a great week together. We’ve slowly rebuilt our relationship, but that doesn’t mean that old scar tissue isn’t there.
I know we can’t go back in time. I know you can’t wave a wand and magically fix what happened.
But I need you to know that you were my hero and you made me feel small, insignificant, and unloved for years after Mom’s death.
It felt like you chose another family over me.
That you wanted Anita and Cyrus more. That I meant nothing.
” I tap over my heart. “You hurt me. You really hurt me.”
Dad walks toward me and pulls me into a hug as tears stream down his face. I’ve never seen him cry.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so deeply sorry. I never meant for you to feel like that. I never meant to hurt you. I should’ve seen that you were in pain and needed me. I hate that you didn’t think you could tell me what was going on. I will never forgive myself for that.”
We stand there holding one another, and a wave of peace settles in my chest. Our foundation may still be cracked, but the gaping hole has been filled.
Stepping back, I look up at him and wipe my eyes.
“I want to see the divorce papers. You said you have them.”
I don’t know why I need to see them, but I do.
“Yes, of course.”
Dad opens the bottom drawer of his desk and pulls out a manila envelope.
Taking it from him, I unwind the little string at the top, and with every turn, my heart beats faster.
Fingers trembling, I pull out the thick stack of papers.
At the top of the page are my parents’ names and the words DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE.
I bite my lip as I slowly flip through all the details.
I reach the signing page and see my mother’s signature just like my father said.
It’s hers. Mom always added a little curly cue to her words, making her signature unique.
It’s dated two weeks before we found out she had cancer.
I look up at my dad and try to get the words out, but nothing moves. No sound or air. He puts his hands on my shoulders.
“I wish so many things had been different, but most of all, I wish your mother hadn’t been taken from you so soon. She would be incredibly proud of the woman you’ve become, Haven.”
“Are you?”
His brows furrow.
“Of course, I am. I’ve always been proud. Prouder than I can put into words.”
“Even with the jail situation?”
Dad cringes, but nods.
“Let’s just not talk about that. But yes, I will always love you and be incredibly proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished.” He steps back and holds out his hand. “Come with me, I want to show you something.”
I take it, and he leads me out and down the hall to the corner office. We stop outside, and my hand goes to my mouth as I read the nameplate on the door.
Haven Gaillard, Chief Operating Officer
Dad opens the door, and I slowly step inside to look around.
Signed posters from famous bands that he’s gotten for me over the years, and that I coveted growing up, are framed and hanging on the walls.
He moved all my books from my bedroom at home to here, and they are back in the same order on these shelves.
There’s a framed photo of Mom and one of Patrick.
“You did all this?”
“Yeah. I wanted it to feel personal to you.”
The office is so large that I can throw a party in here. A fancy white desk is set up with a matching couch and leather chairs. It’s perfect.
“Dad, this is beautiful, but I don’t know anything about being the C.O.O.”
“You’re training with me. You’ll start next month. That will give us both time to get organized. That means learning everything from the ground up. For the next year, you’ll be glued to my hip unless you’re on tour with Venomous.”
My head snaps in his direction, and he smiles.
“Don’t look so surprised. I know you want to continue to tour with the band and Cyrus.”
“What about Anita? I thought she wanted this position?”
“First…Anita was never going to run this company no matter what she said. Second…let’s just say that when my lawyers are done, she won’t have one bit of LG. I’ll still have to pay a large settlement, but her affair with Declan and the prenup will make her very willing to play ball.”
“I’m really not sorry to see her go.”
“Yes…well, it was a long time coming.”
He rubs the back of his neck, and I can tell what’s on his mind. I wait for him to build up the nerve.
“So, I have to ask…you and Cyrus…is this a real thing?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“I’m worried he’ll break your heart. Cyrus doesn’t exactly have a great track record.”
I walk around behind the desk and run my hand over the top.
“Trust me, I know. I was, too, but I’m not anymore. He’s different.”
“I hope so. I’d hate to have to kill my biggest earner.” Dad smiles, and I laugh. “You look good behind that desk. You’ve always been a rockstar.” I slowly sit down in the fancy executive chair. “So…what do you say? Want to work for your old man again. I promise I won’t fire you this time?”
“The shareholders are onboard with this decision? They were adamant that I be thrown to the wolves.”
“They are. I told them that at the end of the day, this is still my company. I’m the final vote. I didn’t build this place from scratch and sacrifice our time together when you were young to create a legacy that you can’t share.”
Swiveling in the chair, I’m greeted by the Pacific Ocean. My new office has a killer view.
“Then, yes.”
“And what about me? Do you have it in your heart to forgive your old man for his mistakes?”