Chapter 36 If You Insist
IF YOU INSIST
“You’re the worst patient,” Reenie said two days later.
“I couldn’t stay there another night. There is no reason for it. And you’re exhausted too. We’ll both feel better here.”
“I admit it will be nice to sleep in your bigger bed.”
Ford came in on his crutches. No brace now, but he was told not to put any pressure on his leg for a few more days.
“And I need a shower,” he said. “I can’t stand myself.”
There was no shower in the room he’d had the past two nights, but she’d helped him clean up with a washcloth and towel that his mother had brought, along with some more clothes for her.
Reenie had some clothing left at his place too, so she’d be good for a few days after she did some laundry.
“We can get you in the shower, but you can’t get your wound too wet.”
“My mother said she dropped off the shower chair my father used when he had surgery. I can try it if it makes you feel better.”
“Since you’ve got a handheld wand in the shower, it will be easy enough. I’ll wash your hair for you.”
He closed one annoyed eye at her. “No. I can wash my hair. You can’t get your arm wet either.”
“Unlike you, I can get it a little damp, but not soak it. I’m still going to put a bag over it anyway and just use one hand to wash my hair and clean up for a few days.”
“Shower first,” he said. “I know I stink. Or I feel it.”
“You’re going up the stairs now? Can’t you wait until we go to bed so you only go up once?”
“Nope. I won’t sit around with hospital germs on me. Sorry.”
Reenie sighed. There was no arguing with him. She didn’t remember him being this stubborn before.
“Let’s maneuver this together. Or I’ll carry your crutches while you hop.”
“I can do it without help,” he said. “I’m pretty coordinated.”
She stood back and let him go and he got up the stairs pretty fast without even wobbling. She worried over nothing.
When she got to his room, she gathered all his dirty laundry in the hamper and set it aside to wash with their clothes from the hospital.
Ford went into the bathroom and turned the shower on while she got a towel for him.
“You can’t even wait for me to get in here,” she said, rushing in.
He was already naked and sitting on the chair, his leg off to the side, the wand in his hand as he bent forward away from his injury and got his head wet.
“I can do it myself,” he said.
“I’m going to stand here to make sure.”
“You just like looking at me naked,” he said. “Give me a few days and I’ll be ready for you.”
She rolled her eyes, but he couldn’t see it. “We’ll let you think that.”
Once he was washed up and rinsed, he moved his leg in and let water lightly run over the surgical tape covering it. She ground her teeth, but she’d read on the sheet for him to clean it a few times a day and that was all he was doing.
He was probably gentler than she would have been with the soap around it.
He shut the water off and stood up. She moved his crutches over, but he only took one and stepped out to dry off.
“I’m going to watch you shower now like you did me. I think it’s only fair.”
“If you insist,” she said.
Reenie didn’t need the chair and moved it back so she could wash her hair one handed while she kept as much water off her arm as possible. Guess this was easier than a garbage bag.
Ford was dressed in shorts by the time she was done. It was all she’d brought in for him and would get his shirt in a minute.
He handed her a towel so she could dry off and get dressed too.
“You shouldn’t carry the laundry basket down. It will pull your stitches.”
“Well, you sure the hell aren’t doing it,” she said. “I’ve got an idea.”
She moved it with her feet to the stairs, then gave it a final push and watched it slide down. It tipped and made a mess at the bottom, but got the job done.
“That works,” he said.
He went down the stairs just as nimbly as he got up them.
Maybe she wouldn’t be so worried if it weren’t a major artery and he could have bled out.
The thought of that still made her queasy.
“We need to talk,” she said.
“About what?” he asked.
“Let’s go to the living room. You should get comfortable.”
He stared at her, but she held her ground until he moved and sat.
“What’s going on?”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?” he asked. There was hesitation in his question.
“You’re hurt because of me. It’s my fault.”
“Stop right there,” he said, holding his hand up. “Don’t even. This could have happened to me on any call.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head rapidly. “You lost focus because it was me. I didn’t need to hear Clay saying it to you either.”
He clenched his fist. “Don’t listen to my brother. I love you, but I would have done the same thing for a stranger.”
“Put yourself in the line of fire?”
When she’d heard that part, it’d made her question everything she’d done.
She was used to pain in her life.
She couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t have it.
Yeah, she could remember.
It was the past six weeks she’d been here.
There was fear. Confusion, doubt and insecurities.
But no physical pain.
Until she let her guard down.
“If I have to do that, I do. It’s part of the job.”
“Then your job sucks,” she said, crossing her arms.
He snorted. “I’m not always in the field. I don’t want you to be worried about those things, but law enforcement personnel have targets on them too.”
She knew those risks.
“It doesn’t mean it won’t scare me. That you could have died saving me.”
She didn’t want to cry in front of him again, but she couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“Don’t put this on your shoulders.” He pulled her close to him. “I thought you were going to tell me you were leaving. I hope you’re not.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, wiping her arm under her nose. “But I don’t want your family to blame me, either.”
He held her while she sobbed. “No one is blaming you. Accidents happen. My mother has children with dangerous jobs. Clay promised her he’d come home and he did.
But you know, something could happen to him with a machine in the mill.
My father fell and got hurt. He was by himself.
I’m not on the front line anymore, but shit still happens.
Ash is running into burning buildings. Blaze encounters many crazy patients high on drugs.
Gale defends criminals. There is no reason for you to think anyone is blaming you for anything. Get it out of your head.”
A hiccup escaped. “It’s so hard to do that. My whole life I was told everything was my fault. That I deserved what I got.”
“That was the excuse your mother used to abuse you. Or any guy you were with.”
“I didn’t think I did things wrong, but when someone tells it to you enough it’s hard to believe otherwise.”
“I’ll tell you if you do something that isn’t right, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I mean that. And you never have to fear me or anyone in my family. Ever. You believe that, don’t you?”
She blinked her eyes. “I just... I love it here. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want anyone mad at me.”
“No one is,” he said. “Cross my heart. Everyone loves you. You need to love yourself.”
Which was the hardest thing for someone to do.
She heard his phone ringing and got up to get it off the table where he’d tossed it and tried to compose herself. “It’s a Florida number.”
He reached for it and she let him take it and went to the laundry room to start the clothes and give him privacy.
She was betting it had to do with Oliver or her and she wasn’t sure she wanted to stand there and listen.
He’d tell her what he thought she needed to know.
When she returned to the living room ten minutes later, she had a plate of snacks and two bottles of water for them and he was off the phone.
“They arrested Officer Stiles without bail and want to extradite Randy back and charge him there. They also arrested Oliver, and he confessed. Guess he was the first to talk, willing to give anything, including how they communicated online through random Reddit posts and that he staged the break-in himself by trashing the house. He’s got all the details written down.
Almost like a blackmail to cover his ass. ”
“That would explain why he wasn’t upset over it when I came home.
I was terrified that someone had been through my stuff and they might come back, but he acted like it was nothing more than the remains of a rowdy party.
” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t be surprised.
He probably kept all the information hoping for immunity or protection if he was ever caught. ”
Ford laughed. “Yep. Whether or not he gets it, I don’t know and won’t know. I don’t care about that. What he confessed to was hiding drugs for Gregory Stiles and his cousin Randy. He was skimming off the top because they weren’t paying him enough.”
Unbelievable. “He always wanted more than his fair share.”
“He’s getting what is owed to him now. It’s truly all behind you, Reenie. You might be called to testify. You need to know that. I asked that they try to do it without you, but understand that might not be the case.”
Her teeth tucked her lower lip into her mouth. “I don’t want to go back. They can’t make me, can they?”
“They can make you. It’s harder from one state to another, but it’s done. You need to be prepared. You’ve got time and you’ve got Gale. She’ll figure it out. Not today. Today is about us, okay?”
“I feel as if I’m never going to move forward in my life. I hate it.”
“You’re not stuck anymore. You’re not looking over your shoulder and are free to do what you want. I hope you choose to stay with me, but I’d never hold you to that either.”
The tears fell in a flood over her cheeks, a few falling to the floor. “You’d be okay if I left?”
“That’s not it, Reenie. I’ve wished for you for twenty years. But I want you to have your freedom more. I never want you to experience pressure to do anything you don’t want. You’ve had that too much in your life. But can you promise me one thing?”
“Anything.”
“That if the day ever comes, you’ll tell me. You won’t make me guess or worry, or wait if I’m not what you want?”
“I promise you. I’ll never do that to you. I knew I was leaving twenty years ago, Ford. I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t.”
“Why? It killed me when you were just gone. That’s it. Not even a simple goodbye. To sneak out and tell me nothing.”
“Because my mother didn’t know about you. If she had we would have moved sooner. She never let me get close to anyone for fear they’d find out what was happening in my life. I asked her not to leave days before. It didn’t go well for me.”
“She beat you?” he asked.
“Nothing more than normal,” she said. “But my cheek was bruised. I didn’t want you to see it. I knew you’d be upset and didn’t think you’d be able to keep quiet about it.”
Even back then, she knew he’d fight for her.
“I wouldn’t have.”
“But you wouldn’t have been able to stop what happened. You did this time. That is what I choose to remember.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” he asked.
He tucked her damp hair behind her ear. “Because I’m a stronger person. I won’t hide. I won’t run. I won’t be afraid to be honest with you. There is no one out there controlling me or stopping me. I’m that way because of you.”
He leaned down to kiss her on the lips.
“You always had it in you, but I can’t tell you how thrilled I am I got to witness the transformation.”