Chapter 37 Time To Stop
TIME TO STOP
“What are you doing here?” Brooke asked on Friday. “You’re off this week.”
Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “It’s boring with Ford all day.”
“He’s being a bear, isn’t he?” Brooke put the pan down she’d been pulling out of the oven and rushed to give her a hug. Reenie couldn’t express how much she needed to feel as if she belonged by more than just Ford.
Only two days had passed since his hospital discharge, but he was driving her crazy with his restlessness.
She had to admit she felt the walls closing in on her.
That was saying a lot for someone who spent most of her life hiding in a small bedroom to escape reality.
But she was free now.
As free as she’d ever been in her life.
She needed to repay those that got her here.
“I didn’t expect him to complain so much,” she whispered.
It’s not as if Ford could hear her. She’d dropped him off at the mill, made sure he got in on his crutches, which only resulted in a frown and an impatient hand waving her away.
“He doesn’t like being laid up,” Brooke said, moving back. “None of my boys do. How is your arm doing?”
“Good,” she said. “I don’t feel much more than some pulling now and again, but it’s in a good spot that I can reach around without too many issues.”
Just another scar on her forearm.
A reminder of what she’d overcome.
She’d wear this one with pride. She was a survivor.
That was what she’d told herself for days.
Not that the Ridgeway family would blame her for what she’d brought to their sons.
Ford was injured.
Clay had killed two people.
Ford was checking in with his brother now, worried about his headspace.
Not what she wanted to hear, but the two of them vowed to be honest with each other and she’d been telling him her fears, so he did the same.
It wasn’t just a headache to watch over her, it’d become a nightmare and she wanted to see how the woman she’d always wished was her mother decades ago was feeling.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Brooke said.
“Can I help with anything?” It was almost three, and there weren’t any cars in the parking lot. She didn’t know why Brooke was baking unless it was to get a head start for Reenie being out for the weekend.
“I’ve got it all,” Brooke said. “Bobbi Jo left about twenty minutes ago. She came in early and helped and took care of the lunch crowd. Still on the slow side until Memorial Day when the tourist season picks up.”
“I’ll be back full force by then,” she said. “You have my word. That is if you want me to or let me stay.”
Another reason she needed to talk to Brooke.
Would they want her out of the cabin now? She could stay with Ford, she knew that, but it was not what she wanted to do.
She’d never truly had a space to call her own, and jumping straight into living with another man, even one she loved, would rob her of the chance to finally feel what independence was like. Just once, she needed to know she could stand on her own.
There’d be no way she could afford to pay for a place alone, but if she could continue with this arrangement, she’d be happy.
“Of course you can stay, sweetie! No one is kicking you out and I need your help more than ever. Even Clay is going to need it. He mentioned he was going to talk to you about working the events.”
“Oh,” she said. “I didn’t think he’d want me around. At least more than anyone else.”
“My oldest is exactly what was said the first day you were here. More bark than bite. You’ll get used to him. But dinner tonight.”
“You know about that?” she asked. She’d set it up with Callum to cook dinner for the family as a big thank you for all that they’d done.
Maybe she wanted them to know she was still good to keep around, but the more important aspect of it was staying and fitting in.
She didn’t want to be an obligation.
She didn’t want to talk to Gale only when legally required. Like when she had to answer questions via video with Gainesville police.
What she wanted was a friendship with Ford’s sister, but until she cleaned up her past, she’d take what she could get.
They assured her there would be no charges, that she was a victim in all of this. It eased some of the guilt she carried over the lies she’d told. Everyone said she did what she had to do to survive… and she was finally starting to believe it.
The search of Oliver’s house didn’t find the staged blood, and Gale remained silent about it. There’d be no reason to mention it since Reenie left on her own and was alive and healthy.
The hope was she didn’t have to go back there, but it sounded as if Oliver was cooperating, and once Randy found out, he said he’d give anything on Stiles to get a plea deal too.
“My husband doesn’t keep secrets from me,” Brooke said. “But I knew something was up when he told me he had dinner planned. In our thirty-six years of marriage, he’s cooked dinner maybe ten times.”
Reenie grinned. “That’s nice of him.”
“We have traditional roles in the house. I love them, don’t get me wrong. Baking and cooking have always been one of my favorite things, but feeding my family, that brings me joy. It’s not for everyone.”
“It’s not,” she said. “I never thought I’d enjoy it as much. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had someone I really loved or cared for enough to do it, even though I wanted it. Can I confess something?”
“Of course you can,” Brooke said.
“I looked up to you twenty years ago. I wanted to be you. I mean, have a mother like you but then be you too. Care for those I loved and have them appreciate and love me back for it.”
Brooke got a tear in her eye. “And now you do with Ford.”
She smiled. “I do. Are you good with it?”
“Oh, honey,” Brooke said, going toward her with her arms out again and pulling her in. “You’ve suffered so much in life. It’s time to stop. Ford is a great man who will give you a wonderful life if it’s what you want, but he won’t push either.”
“I know.”
“Do you want him to push?” Brooke said, leaning back and wiping a fallen tear off of Reenie’s cheek. “Is that what’s wrong? You think you’re an obligation and, now that it’s over, he’ll step back or change his feelings? I can assure you that won’t happen.”
“I don’t know if I thought that. I just remember I hurt him as a child by not telling him things and then left.”
“Don’t!” Brooke said, waving her finger. “You were a child with no control over your life. My son would never hold that against you. I’m disappointed that you’d think that.”
Her hand went to the heart locket on her neck, moving it around in comfort. That statement was a great way to slam shame in her face.
Brooke wasn’t wrong with her words.
Her bottom lip trembled, but she pulled within herself. She’d shown enough weakness around people in her life.
But she’d told herself that if she couldn’t be open enough for those she loved and cared for to see the real her, she’d never fully be able to move on.
She needed to move on.
Her future would be bleak without the ability to put her past in a shipping container to drop into the ocean and never resurface again.
She was no longer the young girl that was going to cower.
Hadn’t she’d proven that by fighting back a few days ago?
And coming here to have a heart to heart with Brooke? If Ford’s mother had said she couldn’t stay, she would have asked and sold her worth to the family farm.
There was no way she was taking no for an answer.
It didn’t seem as if it’d come to that.
“I don’t want you to be disappointed in me. I’m trying to move on and I don’t always know how.”
“I can help you,” Brooke said. “You never had a mother in your life. Not one to raise you or teach you the important things.”
“No. Just you for that one year and more recently. I love our talks and your guidance in everything.”
“That’s right,” Brooke said. An oven timer went off. “And if you want to grab that pan of brownies out, you can while we talk about getting you on the books. You’re working more than you should to stay in the cabin. I wanted to argue and Clay told me not to.”
“Clay?” She reached for the oven mitts and removed Ford’s favorite brownies. Brooke normally made them the day before and Reenie frosted them in the morning.
“Yes. He said you’d want to feel your worth and to let it go. Ford said the same thing hours later when I saw him. It was never to have you feel as if we were taking advantage of you.”
“I never thought that,” she said. Clay and Ford both understood and went to bat for her. “I wanted to do more.”
“And you will as an employee not just of the cafe, but with Clay for the events. We’ll get it all worked out in the next few weeks.”
“I can pay rent for the cabin then,” she said.
“Off the table,” Brooke said firmly. “It wasn’t being used, it’s costing nothing for you to live there. Don’t argue with me. You won’t win.”
This time she hugged Brooke. “For once in my life, I don’t have a problem with not winning.”
“You know what,” Brooke said. “Those words right there. That’s your growth.”
“What?” She moved back to help Brooke stack the clean pans the way they’d been closing for weeks.
“You didn’t say you lost, you said not win. There is a difference.”
Lost was so negative. Not winning just meant that she didn’t come in first. But not that she didn’t try.
These were the things she might not have ever learned without the Ridgeways.
“There is,” she said. “And speaking of winning, you’re going to let me cook in your kitchen, right?”
Brooke sighed. “I suppose. I can’t ruin it.
Callum told me he wanted me to go into town with him before dinner.
I thought it was to pick out what he was going to cook, but the minute I saw Ford’s truck, I knew what was really going on.
And if me turning my kitchen over to you wasn’t acceptance enough, then I’ll say the words.
You’re part of this family, Reenie. Whether you stay or go, that won’t ever change. ”
“Thank you.”
“Now I’ve got to go change before my husband gets on my case about getting the truth out of you.”
“It will be our secret.”
Reenie left and got in Ford’s truck, then drove down the road. She needed more clothes to bring back to Ford’s. She’d said she’d stay through the weekend, but there’d been no more talk about it after that.
Knowing she still had a job, it was just easier to live here and go back and forth. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to be in Ford’s house alone while he was working.
They’d work it out, but what she wanted the most was to have an actual relationship.
Where they went on dates. He stayed with her, she stayed with him.
That she didn’t need to have someone support her.
She didn’t feel forced to move in before she was ready because she might not have a place to stay.
As she turned down her long driveway, the tiny cabin came into view and for the first time in her life, a place truly felt like home.
There wasn’t much of hers inside, but the atmosphere surrounding her gave the significant punch to the gut of a reminder of where she was meant to be.
She unlocked the front door with a pep in her step over her bright future, only to stare in disbelief at the wreckage in front of her.