12. Chapter 12 Sabrina
Chapter 12: Sabrina
S abrina’s brow furrowed as she scanned Freddy’s notes in the margins of their old manual, before comparing it to his attempt at a rough draft and shaking her head. “Seriously, Freddy, do you even understand how sentences work? This makes zero sense.” She jabbed a finger at the screen. “I mean, look at this: ‘The user should click the button that is green and says start, which will cause the program to begin its startup sequence, and then the user should wait for the progress bar to finish loading before proceeding.’ It’s like a maze of words.”
Freddy snickered and shrugged. “Hey, that’s why I have you, right? To make sense of my brilliant nonsense.”
Sabrina rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Oh, so I’m just here to clean up after you, is that it?”
“Nah, I know you’re really here for the eye candy.” Freddy’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he flexed his lean bicep.
Sabrina’s heart skipped a beat at his words, even though she knew he meant them in a purely platonic way. If only he knew just how much truth there was to that statement. She forced a laugh, hoping he couldn’t hear the slight catch in her voice. “Yeah, yeah, you’re lucky I put up with you. But seriously?”
She waited until he was fully focused on her before continuing, “Let’s go back to using bullet points. I don’t know what I was thinking when I suggested you draft the first version of the user manual. Revising this is so much worse than drafting from your nonsense notes.”
“Ask and ye shall receive.” The way he didn’t even hesitate before agreeing made Sabrina suspicious.
He didn’t appear to notice her concern and returned to the sequence of tests he was running. She studied his profile, admiring the way his hair fell over his forehead and the concentration in his eyes as he typed while wondering why he was demanding she praise him for his attempts at using sentences.
When he continued to ignore her and stayed focused on his work, she turned back to her own computer. Instead of working on the user manual she was typing up, she pulled up a duplicate of Freddy’s screen on her own computer.
Patrick wasn’t fully convinced they would be safe using modern security procedures, but he was getting better. The security tokens were a big step for him, and he increased what they were allowed to send via email. He still demanded air gaps, but Sabrina and Freddy and created their own network between their computers that still had an air gap between them and the rest of the web. It was obnoxious to wire, but Freddy must have known how much she liked it and taken care of it when he set up all their other hardware. As her screen filled with exactly what Freddy was doing as he did it, she was equally thrilled that he knew her well enough to cater to what she liked and horrified by what she found in his document history.
Sabrina was torn between laughing at him and shrieking. “You haven’t even attempted a complete sentence in almost a week,” she blurted in a mostly sane-sounding squawk that faded into a half-laugh of disbelief.
Startled by her outburst, Freddy turned and patted her on the back. “Are you okay? I can’t tell if you’re choking. Do you need water?”
Sabrina forced herself to take a deep breath before she spoke again. “Why is everything you’ve recorded this week in your pseudo-language of random words strewn throughout the commands you ran? What happened to writing sentences?”
“Weren’t you just saying notes like that were easier for you to draft from compared to when I tried writing it all out?” The look he gave her matched the one he’d worn while inspecting the enormous spider she’d found in her bathroom a few weeks ago.
“Yeah, exactly. Just now.” She widened her eyes and cocked her head, wondering what part he didn’t understand. “So explain to me why last week’s notes aren’t in complete sentences.”
The handsome asshole winked at her. “I was simply anticipating your needs.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“And yet, the facts remain the same. You get what you asked for before you even request it, because I’m just that good.”
His confidence was a total act. Sabrina knew him well enough to have seen how he followed Patrick’s lead and accepted Gregory’s instructions. Freddy only acted cocky and confident like this when it was just the two of them.
Choosing to accept it as something special he only shared with her, she shook her head but didn’t harass him anymore.
“Fine, but I am going to need you to show me how the new logic check tool works.”
Sabrina listened intently as Freddy walked her through it, his voice steady and clear. She peppered him with every inane question she could think of, the kind she knew the end users would inevitably ask. It was the tool that made the subjective command sequence he’d sorted out possible, so they needed to get everyone used to it as fast as possible.
“But what if I want to check the logic of a single line of code instead of the whole function?” She tilted her head, playing the role of a confused user.
Freddy didn’t miss a beat. “You can highlight the specific line you want to check, right-click, and select ‘Check Line Logic’ from the context menu. It’ll run the tool on just that line. It works just like ninety percent of software. Left click to make it do the basic command. Right click for a dropdown menu of detailed options. Oh, but with how much this will be used in future iterations, we need to be sure to build a quick key shortcut for it.”
His patience never wavered, no matter how silly her questions got. The way he explained things, with such clarity and precision, made Sabrina wonder how he couldn’t see what a natural gift he had for teaching. His deep brown eyes remained focused, lips curved in a reassuring smile as he guided her through each step. The methodical cadence of his voice had a calming effect, making even the most complex concepts seem simple. Occasionally, he’d pause to make an ancillary note, but his attention never strayed from her for long. Sabrina found herself leaning in, hanging on his every word, captivated by his effortless manner of breaking things down into digestible pieces. She had always admired his ability to make the technical accessible.
It was more than just his teaching ability that drew her to him. It was the way he never made her feel judged or inferior, even when she asked the most basic questions. He treated her as an equal, always.
There was a reason Freddy was the first person everyone they worked with asked for when they needed live training. She’d watched him work with sailors who’d barely finished high school, and he was just as patient and clear with them. It was his special gift, but Sabrina didn’t think he or his family recognized it. Field training wasn’t part of her responsibilities, but she’d boarded a ship with him once as part of her training. One of the sailors was struggling. His command gave him a hard time for being stupid, but Freddy saw past it. He had a quiet conversation and drew a diagram for the kid. The next time Sabrina looked over, that same kid was teaching his first class what to do.
That was the moment Sabrina’s crush first hit. When she’d asked Freddy about it, he’d confessed the kid had trouble reading all the big words in the manual. Being in front of his shipmates made him nervous, which made it even worse. He could understand the diagram with a quick glance. They’d gone home and spent the next six months adding diagrams to all of their manuals. Now other contractors were starting to do the same as everyone saw how much better end users performed when they could skip or supplement the reading.
As they wrapped up the tutorial, Sabrina resigned herself to the reality that this, their comfortable friendship and working relationship, was as good as it would get for her. There had been fleeting hope when she’d first fallen for him but seeing his family and the way they all lived cured her of it quickly. No rich guy like him would ever want to build a life with trailer trash like her. She might have gotten an education and moved away, but she still wore secondhand clothes and carefully counted every penny she spent to ensure she could cover both her bills and her mother’s.
That stupid kiss had been her one shot, and he didn’t reciprocate. She should have broached the subject gently and given him an out. At least then maybe the door would still be cracked for the future. But no, Sabrina had been impulsive as always and ruined her one chance. She pushed aside the longing for something more and got back to work.
A few hours later, she got up to stretch and get a drink. As she came back upstairs, she asked, “What time do you need to leave for dinner?” Neither had spoken while they worked, but his presence beside her was comforting. She liked how it made her feel less alone, as if she had a partner to help when she needed it.
“Huh?” he asked. His eyes were glassy from staring at his screen all day.
“Where are your glasses,” Sabrina admonished.
“I look better with my contacts,” he grunted.
“Yeah, but I can see how irritated your eyes are. Besides, it’s not like I’m someone you need to impress or look good for.” She loved the homey look of his glasses partially because she knew he didn’t let many people see him in anything other than his contacts.
Freddy rolled his eyes at her before jolting when he saw the clock. “Shit, I need to go find the damn receipts and head up to HQ. Oh, Mom wants you to come too.”
“Not a chance in hell,” Sabrina answered without needing to think about it.
“How come you never join us for dinner?” he asked.
Unsure how to respond, she shrugged again and sipped on her water to buy herself some time. Freddy was standing at the top of the stairs, half turned to go down and get ready to leave. She felt his eyes rove over her as she leaned her ass against the edge of the built-in desk.
“I didn’t mean to push.” Freddy shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I just wanted you to know you should. Or at least you can.” He grimaced. “I know it’s a giant love fest since Veronica has Zach and Patrick’s got Holly, but we could make fun of them together or whatever.”
“Maybe sometime.” No way in hell was Sabrina going to intrude on a Taylor Family dinner, but she appreciated that Freddy wanted her there. Unfortunately, she didn’t fit with his family, and she knew it. Keeping her distance allowed them to respect her work without seeing how little she knew about things like fancy table settings and wine pairings. She was careful to dress professionally for their Monday meetings and spoke thoughtfully and clearly around everyone she worked with. It was exhausting, but it was only once a week, and this job was worth it. It was more than she’d be able to keep up with during a family meal, though. For one thing, she’d been taught how to act in a professional meeting. No one ever showed her how to behave at a family gathering.
“Okay.” Freddy turned to continue down the steps as Sabrina thought. He was the only person who saw the pieces of her she’d tried hard to leave behind in Nebraska, but they didn’t seem to bother him. Or did he just hide his judgement and stick around out of pity? Either way, she knew he only saw some of what she hid. He knew her father died of an overdose, but Freddy had no idea Sabrina’s mother still walked across the discolored carpet where they’d bleached away his death.
Without consciously deciding to, she followed him downstairs to the living room and watched as he dug through his duffle, which was still on the armchair.
“How come you always worked at my place instead of from here?” she asked before thinking it through.
Freddy had been sorting through a giant wad of crumpled paper and stiffened before turning back to her with a pained look.
The way he stammered out an apology for invading her space was the last response Sabrina expected. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to assume...”
Then she realized how he’d interpreted her question and rolled her eyes so hard she damn near fell over backward. “You’re an idiot. I loved having you there, just like I love working alongside you here. I was just curious why we always worked at my place instead of yours. Today felt just like any other workday.”
Freddy’s shoulders relaxed slightly, but he still looked unsure. “Oh, uh, well... I guess I just figured it was easier? I mean, you had a great setup...” he trailed off.
Sabrina studied his face, trying to read between the lines. She couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it than that. Did he pity her and not want to shove his wealth in her face?
As much as she longed to be a part of the Taylor family, to feel that sense of belonging, she wasn’t naive enough to believe it could really happen.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Sabrina forced a smile. “Well, I’m glad you felt comfortable there. I like working here, too, though. More than I expected.”
Freddy returned her smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thanks, Rina. I appreciate that.” He glanced at his watch and grimaced. “I really do need to get going, though. I’ll see you later for some Assassin’s Creed?”
Sabrina nodded, stepping back to give him space. “Absolutely. Now go, before you’re late and Patrick gives you shit for it. I’ll have the game ready when you get back.”
With a final wave, Freddy headed out the door, leaving Sabrina alone with her thoughts and the sinking feeling that no matter how close they became, there would always be a part of Freddy’s life she couldn’t touch.
The Taylors were loaded, and Sabrina knew her little cabin was a far cry from the luxury surrounding her here.