13. Chapter 13 Freddy
Chapter 13: Freddy
F reddy arrived at family dinner, his mind still reeling with the day’s successes at work. He handed his receipts to Greg and settled in at the table, his thoughts drifting to Sabrina and the graceful way her fingers flew across her keyboard. He’d much rather be having dinner with her at her home. UPS hadn’t delivered the stuff he’d ordered, but considering how he was spending his evening, that was fine. They could decorate tomorrow.
Looking around the clean, modern house he grew up in, he wondered what had changed from his childhood. Back then, this house felt comfortable, like he belonged there. All five kids had torn around tracking mud, spraying water, leaving belongings strewn about, and generally being carefree kids.
While their family had renovated rooms to turn the upstairs into two apartments since everyone moved out, the first floor had always held his dad’s office, and the dining room had always doubled as a conference room. So what changed? Was it the lack of noisy shouting? Did it feel colder simply because it was always tidy now? Or was it him? Had Freddy changed and grown up to see the same building through different eyes?
Whatever the cause, Freddy preferred the relaxed comfort of Sabrina’s cabin with linoleum from forty years ago, indoor-outdoor green carpet covering the floor of her front porch, a loveseat with enough of a dip in the middle for them to always end up leaning against each other while gaming. He might have taken advantage of her by working at her place every day, but he would make up for it now. Maybe they should replace his deep leather couch with a loveseat like hers. Knowing that the place where they’d bonded was gone hurt, but Freddy was determined to turn his cold house into a home where they both felt comfortable, even if he had to rip out the hardwood floors and replace them with hideous linoleum.
“So, Freddy,” Katrina began, passing him a dish of green beans, “how’s Sabrina? She never joins us. I hope you’re inviting her like I asked.”
Ducking his head to hide the grin spreading across his face at the mention of her name, Freddy couldn’t hold back his praise. “She’s taking it all in stride. It’s crazy how nothing tears her down. I mean, a freakin’ tree crashed onto her bed where she’d just been sleeping, and she still offered me coffee when I got there. Oh, and wait till you hear the feedback on the newest user manual guides. She reorganized the diagrams and written instructions so they flow better, and is making a point to emphasize the logic checking tool that’s key for our next update. You know that since she’s been writing our manuals, the number of requests for support has dropped by more than eighty percent.” He looked over at his brother, Patrick while adding, “That’s a huge part of how you’ve been able to get us civilian contracts now, too, right?” That was what Patrick cared about most. For him, the way each person’s work impacted the company was the bottom line, and Freddy never wanted Patrick to doubt how valuable Sabrina was.
It caught Greg’s attention too. “We could use more contracts that don’t require the level of support the government demands.” He pointed his fork at Patrick. “With how many people Holly’s convinced you to hire, we’re going to need the extra income.”
From the head of the table, Nathan grumbled, “Considering the recent media attention, you’d think the government would pay us more.”
Greg shook his head and countered, “The leaks negate any goodwill we might have earned.” He gave Patrick an accusatory look, and Freddy felt bad for having sent the conversation in that direction.
“Oh, you won’t believe what Renner did in Seattle,” he broke in to break up the argument before it got heated. “He was such an ass to the guy behind the counter, I thought he was going to get us both arrested, but then I stepped up with my charm,” Freddy arranged his face in the confident smirk his public persona demanded, “and saved the day. That’s how we got back so fast on that red-eye fight. I charmed the pants off the gate attendant, too.” It would be better if he could remember what she looked like, but he could make it up. It wasn’t like his family would know any better.
He regaled them with more stories from their trip being careful to keep them light and funny.
“Hey, Freddy?” Greg broke into the conversation as he looked up from the pile of receipts he’d been flipping once he finished eating.
“Yeah?” Please let Greg say something decent, Freddy mentally begged. The man was like an uncle to him, but he could be moody sometimes.
“You don’t really expect the company to pay for,” he paused to squint at the receipt he was holding, “seven pounds of bulk candy, do you?”
Oops. Freddy’d forgotten that receipt would be in with his official meals from his trip. He and Sabrina loved snacking on candy while they worked, but her favorite was Dad’s Root Beer Barrels. They were hard to find, so when he’d discovered a candy shop at one of the airports they’d traveled through, he loaded up. Of course, he got his favorites too, and while seven pounds sounded like a lot when Greg said it the way he did, it hadn’t been that much to look at.
“Right. Of course not. I didn’t mean to leave that in there. I paid with my card, not the company one. I just grabbed the stack on my way here.”
Greg hummed, “I’m guessing you don’t have the reports to go with this either?”
Freddy tried his best to hide his wince before joking, “I wouldn’t want you to have all your fun tonight. I’ve got the reports and will deliver them the next time I’m here.”
Looking between him and his father, Greg didn’t say anything in response.
Nathan did, though. “You know he’s going to need those receipts for his reports,” he said to Greg. “Besides, he’s barely been back a few days, and I know he’s been busy helping Sabrina move her stuff and get settled. Didn’t we put in the handbook something about everyone having ten business days to submit expense reports?”
Greg clenched his teeth but smiled as he handed the receipts back to Freddy. “Sorry to rush you. I don’t like feeling behind on my paperwork and get a little overeager sometimes.”
It didn’t make everything better, but it helped.
“That’s why we need to hire more people, Greg,” Patrick pointed out.
Freddy couldn’t handle listening to those two argue over this again. They’d been going ’round about it nonstop since Holly suggested adding someone for public relations and someone for human resources.
“Hey, Zach. How your newest alpaca? What did you name him again?” Freddy asked the man he knew would eventually become his brother-in-law.
It led to Veronica and Zach jointly sharing stories about both Rocky and Butthole. Freddy wasn’t interested in the animals themselves, but the stories distracted everyone else enough to end the awkward work conversations. Freddy faded back to invisibility, exactly the way he liked, except when he glanced at Holly, she was staring at him with a curious look. He ignored it and picked at the last of his meatloaf.
They all finished eating quickly, but when Katrina asked Freddy to serve dessert, Holly volunteered to help.
Knowing he was about to face the bossy blonde version of the inquisition, he followed Holly into the kitchen. Maybe if he pretended like he thought she was just being helpful, he could cut the cake his mom brought without answering questions he didn’t know how to address. As he pulled the Boston cream cake covered with chocolate ganache from the fridge and turned to place it on the counter, he came face to face with Holly as she leaned against the counter, blocking his workspace, with her arms crossed.
“So, Sabrina, huh?” She raised an eyebrow.
Freddy shrugged and tried to figure out how to get around her to set down the cake. “What about her?”
Holly stared at him but didn’t move out of his way.
“You spend more time together than most people realize, don’t you?”
“We work together, Holly. Of course we spend time together.” He was still standing in the middle of the kitchen holding the cake in his hands.
“So her moving in with you is completely professional?”
“We’re friends,” he tried. “Could I set this down, please? Besides, you moved in with my brother before you even met him.”
Holly stepped to the side to give him space and pulled out a knife. “We both know that’s different. I had my own apartment here, and it’s not a bad thing. I don’t mean to make this an interrogation, but it’s obvious you like her. I’m wondering why she isn’t here with you right now, and why you’re hiding your relationship from your family.” She flipped the knife around to present him with the handle before turning to pull plates from the cabinet.
“We don’t have a relationship,” Freddy mumbled. He did not want to be talking about this with his brother’s girlfriend or his boss’s assistant. Considering Holly was both, he was doubly uncomfortable.
“What?” Holly froze, mouth and eyes wide up in shock.
Freddy kept his gaze focused on the cake. “We’re just friends. Well, and we’re coworkers, but there is no relationship.”
“Wait, does she know how much you like her?” Holly’s voice softened to a compassionate tone.
“No, and I’d like to keep it that way.” He carefully lifted a slice of cake onto each plate.
“Freddy, you have to tell her you like her. You two are perfect for each other.” Holly added a fork to each plate, but before Freddy could respond to what she’d said, Patrick walked in.
“Nice try, beautiful, but Freddy learned the impossibility of escaping the friend zone back in high school.” Patrick leaned down to kiss his girlfriend.
Hopefully, they’d be too caught up in each other to see his cheeks flame red. He tried to hurry and escape by carrying plates back to the table, but Patrick pulled back to quickly and continued with the story Freddy wished his brother didn’t know.
“He and this girl, Sarah?” Patrick waited for Freddy to nod that he’d gotten the name right, and Freddy hated himself a little more for being a player in this epically embarrassing retelling of his teenage trauma. Then he brought forth his mask of good humor and tried to squash the sick feeling in his gut.
“Right, so Freddy and Sarah were best friends, and honestly, some people were kind of wondering if he might have different tastes, because he never dated anyone.“ Patrick wagged his eyebrows at the insinuation that Freddy was gay. It wouldn’t have mattered if he was. His family was dramatic, crazy, and intense, but they loved ferociously against any kind of hate.
Patrick continued his story. “Only one person was ever stupid enough to talk shit about Freddy where any of us could hear it, and Gabe and I beat sense into the fucker real quick. But anyway, when Freddy announced he was taking Sarah to prom, none of us thought anything of it.”
“Hold up,” Holly stopped Patrick’s story, and for just a minute, Freddy thought she might prove to be his new favorite person and shut down the entire conversation.
Instead, she made it worse. “Weren’t you in college by then?” she asked.
Patrick grinned and chuckled. “Yeah, this story is so legendary, I heard about it all the way at school. Apparently, Freddy asked Sarah as a date because he liked her, but she thought they were just going as friends. It didn’t matter until halfway through the night, when they were dancing to a slow song, and Freddy here tried to kiss her.”
Freddy’s cheeks burned, but he faked a chuckle the way he always did. He desperately wanted to disappear, to melt into the floor tiles and escape this humiliation. But with nowhere to go, he learned long ago the fast way out was through. His hands trembled as he gripped the edge of the counter, wishing for his brother to hurry up and get it over with.
“Sarah freaked out. I mean, full-on dramatic rejection. Pushed him away, yelling about it being gross and not like that between them. Turns out she was gay and had no idea Freddy was interested in more than friendship.”
Freddy’s chest tightened. The memory of that night, the shock and hurt on Sarah’s face, the laughter and whispers of his classmates, it all came rushing back. He needed to go, run away and escape. Fuck the cake. He couldn’t do this. Outwardly, he shrugged it off and proclaimed he’d have been happy to be her beard, if only she’d clued him in to the arrangement. Then he tried to retreat.
“Freddy?” Holly’s voice stopped him.
“I need to get going. Serve the cake for me, please?” He spoke through tightly clenched teeth and quickly washed the crumbs and ganache from his hands. Holly was whispering something to Patrick, but Freddy couldn’t make out what, and he didn’t care. He wouldn’t look at them. He couldn’t. He’d played his role. Now he should be allowed to escape.
Before he could finish drying his hands, he felt a gentle hand land on his shoulder. “That was a shitty story for Patrick to tell, and he and I will talk about it more later.” Holly laced the second half with icy steel that would have Freddy shitting himself if it were aimed at him.
As it was, he knew the firmness was meant for his brother, and apparently Patrick knew it too. “I’m sorry, Freddy. Holly’s right. You always laugh it off and never say anything, but I should have known better. I guess I never noticed how uncomfortable you get when we joke about it.”
Freddy nodded but still couldn’t turn around to face his brother.
“Go serve the cake, Patrick.” If anyone had told Freddy his older brother would end up completely whipped by a woman who technically worked under him, he’d have laughed and bet his life savings against it. And yet, Holly was Patrick’s perfect fit. His brother was a better person with her riding his ass–nope! He swallowed the bile that rose as that image crossed his mind. Yuck!
Freddy turned to Holly, hoping to clear disgusting images of his brother doing… things from his mind.
Holly must have seen something in his expression, though.
“I’m not going to ask what just crossed your mind, but if you’re going to throw up, do it in the sink and not on me,” she suggested.
“I’m good, but I do need to go.” Despite everything, he liked Holly and would celebrate when Patrick got his shit together enough to propose. Then again, she might just put the wedding on his calendar and remind him when to go pick up his tux.
“That’s fair, but Freddy?” Holly’s hand still rested on his shoulder.
“Huh?”
“Teenagers are stupid. I’m not saying everyone grows out of it.” She glared in the direction Patrick had left with plates of cake. “But most people do. Sabrina isn’t Sarah. Considering how well you get along, talking to her would be a good place to start.”
Freddy’s head shook in refusal.
“Love requires taking risks, but sometimes, when it’s the right person, it pays off,” Holly said as she released his shoulder. “And don’t worry, I’ll ensure he never tells any of your stories again.”
She started to turn and walk away but turned back abruptly. “Why don’t you come over early on Sunday? You and Patrick can game for a while. Getting his ass handed to him is good for him, and Wils never crushes him quite the way I think you could.” Then she left for real.
Freddy wasn’t sure if he could face Sabrina, but he didn’t really have a choice, and gaming with her would be the best way to relax. His mom met him by the front door.
“Holly said you need to get going. Are you okay, Freddy?” she asked.
“Yeah, Mom. I’m fine.”
She hummed in the same way she always did when they were lying to her, and she knew it but didn’t call them out. “Call me sometime. I’m happy to help with anything either of you need while she gets everything from the storm sorted out. I understand you need space, and I’ll respect that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you.”
“Thanks. I think we’ve got it, and I know you’re always here if any of us need you.”
Katrina tilted her head to the side, and Freddy developed serious sympathy for insects that found themselves in an entomologist’s lab. “Okay, but I’m here for whatever. Anytime you need me.”
Sighing, Freddy leaned in to hug her. “I know, Mom. I have no idea how you did it with five of us, but you’re a good mom.” Mom hugs held special power, and Freddy spent a second soaking it up.
“Each of you is unique, Freddy. Sometimes I worry that you got lost in the shuffle too often. You were never the squeakiest wheel, but that doesn’t mean you don’t still need attention.”
Freddy pulled away from her. He knew she loved him. He’d never doubted that, but it was still nice to hear her say that he mattered. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Oh,” she turned to grab a paper bag he hadn’t noticed her set on the side table. “There’s leftovers for Sabrina and cake for both of you in here. Have fun playing video games.”
Accepting the bag of food, Freddy wondered how Katrina Taylor had become such an incredible force. He felt lighter again and looked forward to an evening of Assassin’s Creed and shit talk.